(no subject)

[cleolinda]

I have to tell you that I think this is one of the best toy concepts ever: My Scene Lindsay Lohan. For those of you out of touch with the fashion doll scene (tcha!), My Scene is the weird-but-"hip" line of Barbie dolls that have the giant eyes. They're basically an attempt to compete with the Bratz dolls, while looking measurably less deformed. And, most importantly, they come with shitloads of accessories. Anyway: there is basically, now, a Lindsay Lohan Barbie. But it's better than just a plain old yesterday's-news Barbie, it's a My Scene doll, which means that it gets to play with all the other My Scene dolls and their cell phones and their detachable feet and their boyfriends and their convertibles and their merchihuahuas. Seriously, they now have a My Scene Goes Hollywood line with, like, a "dressing room" playset and a limo, except that it's like a Hummer limo. This is GENIUS. Because why should Lindsay Lohan curb her natural enthusiasm just because she's a doll now? I am 99.9% sure that the Lindsay doll comes with a tiny bag of coke, and she and Barbie will totally do lines in the hummo (limmer?). They may or may not experiment with recreational lesbianism, depending on how good the coke is. And then Mattel will come up with the My Scene Hungover in New Orleans line and, after Lindsay and My Scene Chelsea have gotten their new tattoos, she and My Scene Nolee will hit the drunken karaoke. By the end of the night (speaking of hummers), she'll totally get down with this Club Birthday River kid in the bathroom (well, it is his birthday...), and then My Scene Lindsay will be too wrecked to go film her new movie with My Scene Meryl Streep the next day, and My Scene Madison will be all like, "Here, Linds, you can have one of my extra heads!," and Madison will totally have saved My Scene Prairie Home Companion 's ass. And that's why Lindsay Lohan is all washed-out blonde in that movie, because that's the only head Madison could spare, having lost the other one in a tragic run-in with a vacuum cleaner. I never thought I would say this, but: my soul craves Lindsay.

P.S. It is my dearest hope and dream that they come out with a My Scene Paris Hilton, so that we can run over her multiple times with the limmer.

Comments

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

There are more links in this entry than there have ever been in an entry.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hey, I could have posted actual pictures.

[bikutoria.livejournal.com]

This is probably just my lousy vision or my monitor, but I always have a hard time distinguishing between the dark purple text of your links and the dark gray of your regular text.

I'm going to go peruse all the links now :)

[mme-antoinette.livejournal.com]

Oh god, you're great. Your scenario reminds me of being a kid, bringing our Barbies to school and making them do unspeakably naughty things, which the boys were NOT to know about. They were drug-addled whores who were mostly lesbians, because there were so few Kens to go around, and because this was the late eighties, it was always Rocker Ken with the real-hair mullet. And then all the Barbies would get in fights and pull each other's hair out.


...I want a My Scene Prairie Home Companion...

[arayuldaiel.livejournal.com]

Cleo, have I told you lately that you are awesome? Because you are.

Although I gotta say, the old school Polly Pocket wins at having the most accessories. My mom will willingly testify to that.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, dude, my sister had half a million of those. So true.

[outinthestorm.livejournal.com]

Heh.
I want to know at what stage do Linsey and Delancy hold up a bank in Miami, thus requiring the Miami Getaway on the Vesper Scooter.

And I am strangely terrified by the Merchihuahas. That's just wrong.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

It's at the point when the girls become Miami Heat cheerleaders, judging by Nolee's (Chelsea's? I forget) outfit.

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

There's something really disturbing about detachable feet. It begs for a Brothers Grimm tale all to itself.

But merchihuahuas make about as much sense as...well, chihuahuas. Just wait till we figure out the important genes from the lungfish - the science of merpets will surge ahead in leaps and bounds! (or possibly splashes)

[ex-krazycat651.livejournal.com]

Oh MY GOD! Bwahahah!
I work in a toy store! We sell myscene stuff! I am going to have to touch that doll on a regular basis! Ewwwww!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Make sure you wash thoroughly afterwards.

(I am so jellus. I used to LOVE Barbies as a kid. I made up the most cracked-out stories for them. Like, I found a big hoopskirt-looking evening gown for one of them, so I decided she was fleeing from Yankee soldiers in the Civil War, mostly because I was too young to have grasped that the Civil War actually involved, you know, the abolition of slavery and stuff. It was just OMG BAD SOLDIERS NO! EVENING GOWN, AWAY! in my little six-year-old head.)

[queenofattolia.livejournal.com]

I think they should have the My Scene Club Du Jour Bathroom Stall for Lindsay and Barbie to, uh, reapply their makeup all over their nostrils.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, they can always go out back behind the drunken karaoke lounge...

[anothersadsong.livejournal.com]

Mer... chihuahua? *shudders*

[mokeyhokey.livejournal.com]

Holy Christ, the merchihuahua is the funniest/most awesome toy accessory ever.

Bravo, whoever came up with that. Bravo.

[linz-lou.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow, thanks for the laugh. XD

My Scene Boys Date Doll: River with Two TV Dinners
OMG TV Dinners? How romantic.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

The other one has "tickets to the baseball game," I think, but the TV dinners one was too funny not to use for the link.

[natacup82.livejournal.com]

Now every time I go into a store with a toy department I will be compelled to stop in the Barbie aisle...I mean more than usual.

I wonder if the box will be covered in Lindsay speak, "Oh my god, you are so skinny!".

[morganwolf.livejournal.com]

I... I... I don't even know what to say. The cheddar broccoli rice has landed all over my keyboard via my nose.

I pray for the tween girls, I really do.

[jedilora.livejournal.com]

I loved my Barbies. I turned my bookshelf into apts. for them and then-oh the drama! They would go to far away islands on the dresser, then deal with mermaids! And I read the OLD fairy tales before I read Disney's versions, so...yeah. Ariel had a taste for unusual foods. If they managed to escape that, then it was back home to discover that the Quints (all three sets of them) had been kidnapped by Snapped!Babysitter Stacey. Luckily Olympic Gymnast!Barbie had joints, and thus could save the day.

You know, I wonder what so-called normal people played with their dolls. It seems we all did the soap thing.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

OH DUDE! I totally turned a sectioned bookshelf into a Strawberry Shortcake apartment!

[chexzies.livejournal.com]

I assume they were going for the "pre-anorexic blonde" look.

[fluffy-duck-211.livejournal.com]

OMG ROTFL *worships the funny*

I had a My Scene doll when I was nine. She dressed like a slut, came with her own book, and her boobs were covered in glitter.

[elysian-dreams.livejournal.com]

glitterboobs? now there's a scary idea for plastic surgery...surgically implanted glitter. sorry, my mind is strange =P

[verybarepear.livejournal.com]

I would buy a Paris Hilton Barbie just to think of creative ways of destroying her. I can only imagine that the Paris Hilton My Scene would come with a video camera and doll smut. She would be the My Scene super slut doll. However the idea of a My Scene Meryl Streep is just freaky. Would she come with an Oscar and kleenex for weepy movies? I must admit that Barbie had lost my interest, especially when she broke up with Ken after DECADES together, but this My Scene line could capture my interest. In this world who doesn't need the sheer absurdity of doll coke?

[mme-antoinette.livejournal.com]

doll coke = powdered sugar

[elysian-dreams.livejournal.com]

That was great! =) Thanks for the laugh, I needed one. And definitely CREEPY that they're making these dolls *shudder*

[jadedbeth.livejournal.com]

Someone Meta-Quote this, so that I don't have to! I can't read it again without laughing so hard I cry! Oh geeze!

[jadedbeth.livejournal.com]

I'm so doing it, you don't mind do you?

[shesnotallthere.livejournal.com]

The eyes on these dolls are FREAKING ME OUT.

I want a hummo/limmer/coke!

[virtuistic.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen anything as terrifying as the merchihuahua since the pierced pirate-hooker. (http://www.livejournal.com/community/mt_diaries/1270.html)

I'm afraid for my life. Clearly, I need to buy one of these and melt it under a magnifying glass...

... and steal the coke. I mean seriously, why should Lindsay have all the fun?

Re: I want a hummo/limmer/coke!

[mme-antoinette.livejournal.com]

If you and the Pirate Hooker decide to steal MyScene!Lindsay Lohan's coke and go on some sort of crazed adventure, count me in.

[sapphires13.livejournal.com]

You are gold. Pure gold. It's weird timing too, because just the other day, the subject of Barbie dolls came up on the forum I go to, and all of these memories came back.
Seriously, what do normal people do with their dolls? It was always either soap operas or orgies with mine.
Another really, really fun thing to do, is put on the soundtrack of any musical, and have the dolls all act it out. I can actually remember doing that with The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Of all things, I was watching that as a child. No wonder I'm so strange.
But you know, even now, as an adult, I still have the urge to play with the dolls. But I think, if I tried it, even with other nerdy adults (like my siblings) I'd end up being way too self-conscious to pull off any sort of creative storyline. Ah, the freespiritedness of youth, how I miss it.
Anyhow, between my siblings and I, we had way too many dolls. We never really paid much mind to the accessories, clothes were one thing, but the houses and cars, and all of the strange little props made things too complicated. We just used our imaginations. Summers were spent in the little wading pool in the backyard with the dolls (the pool was a foot deep and tiny to us, but the size of a large pond in relation to the dolls) and during the winters, my sister and I would actually put on our bathing suits and get into the bathtub with the dolls. What geeks we were. And of course, we musn't forget all of the times we filled the Barbie cars with dolls and launched them down the stairs. Fun times.

And also, we had all of the Beverly Hills 90210 dolls (the only ones they made were Brenda, Brandon, Donna, Dylan, and Kelly). I remember the whole family going out to the mall the day they were released to get them. We were spoiled.
And at one point we had a doll of Donnie Wahlberg (during the New Kids On The Block heyday). It wasn't Mattel, just some weird knockoff.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I so have the urge to play with dolls--as opposed to just collect expensive ones--but I would totally play by myself, because it would be too embarrassing otherwise. Hell, I think I was too embarrassed as a kid as it was.

[etherealshores.livejournal.com]

OMG wow. It really is like her. I didn't even know about this line until this post.

If they put out a Paris Hilton Barbie, I think I'm going to throw up.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

If there is no Paris Hilton Barbie, I know deep in my heart of hearts that it's not for lack of Paris trying.

[sparkythehamstr.livejournal.com]

*SPORFLE*

I hate those fucking Bratz dolls with the fiery passion of a thousand suns.

[claidissa.livejournal.com]

I want a My Scene Britney Spears doll with matching Kevin Federline (sold separately, of course). So they can film each other and talk all mooshy and force their sex life on people who really would rather not know anything about it.

It'll sell like hotcakes.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

And then we can run them over with the limmer.