Blogging on a Saturday night, which should tell you everything you need to know

[cleolinda]

I am a terrible, terrible person who promised to mention something for the Lovely Emily last week and then forgot (eep!). Without further ado: the Lovely Emily's Team In Training page for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, where she's collecting donations for the Mercedes Half Marathon she'll be running in February. Donations will support research for blood cancers (like leukemia, lymphoma, and Hodgkin lymphoma) and patient services.

Meanwhile, I'm grappling with fear-induced writer's block. As in, writer's block caused by my not opening Word at all. Whenever I was anxious as a kid (which was, oh, 95% of the time), my father used to ask me, in the most smug and least helpful way possible, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Despite the fact that he boarded the failboat a long time ago, and that "Whatever he did, do the opposite" is a fairly good approach to living, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" is perhaps the one useful thing he has passed on to me. Except that, of course, he wasn't doing it right. (I used to get so frustrated with him that I think that, on at least on one occasion, I actually said, "THE WORLD WILL END.") He was using it in the sense of, "Well, nothing, really, so it doesn't matter anyway." I've found it's far more useful to think of actual, meaningful answers to the question and deal with those. And sometimes it involves saying, "Well, yeah, this could happen, and that would probably suck. But here's what we'll do if that happens, and here's what we could possibly do to avoid it." Life goes down a bit easier when you're walking into that eighth-grade oral book report not under a cloud of vague fear, but knowing that you could start flailing, and you probably will, but if you do, just stop, swallow, and start your sentence over. That kind of thing. Expect it, don't fear it.

So here's what I'm worried about:

I'm going to finish this thing and write myself into some huge plot hole, or the plot's going to be so snarly that it's not even going to make sense.

Well, it's probably not, in all actuality, going to be that bad, but if it is, just write it through, finish it, let it be stupid, and work on fixing it from there. You probably won't be able to untangle it until you have the whole thing in front of you anyway.

But what if I screw myself over for future installments?

Well, you'll have to apologize to your (future) readers and ret-con it the best you can. You'll still be ahead of a bunch of authors who either didn't notice their gigantic plot hole or quietly ignored it. And you can have people beta-read it for you, you know. I'm sure they'll point out tons of stuff.

Oh God, they will, and that's, like, the worst part.

Well, they're going to, so there's no need to worry about it, because it is going to happen.

Well--but--what if I can't think of anything for all these minor characters to do, and a bunch of them just seem to sit there and have no purpose?

Well, finish the thing, and then go back and try to work some of them in. Just give them a few sightings or chit-chat things to do, use them to flesh out Rose Hannah's world a little, and you can use them in other stories if you want, but they'll have served their purpose in the story if you don't.

But what about the research? I've already done so much and it still doesn't seem to be enough!

Well, just keep writing, do the best you can on the fly, at least finish it, and then you can try to do some cleanup work. Maybe this is a sign that you should take the "science" of the story to a more fantastical level, because at least that way you can be like, "But it wasn't supposed to be accurate!"

But I don't know anything about zeppelins! Why did I put in zeppelins?

Well, because you're a dumbass, mostly. Just keep being that dumbass and deal with it later.

I hate science.

*headpat*

Linkspam!

See the Booker Shortlist here.

Cancer fears raised over identity chip implants.

Polar bears extinct by 2050? NOOOOOO!

Japanese man keeps air guitar title.

High C: The Note That Makes Us Weep.

Not to be? Group revisits Shakespeare authorship debate.

Parents Today: Wesleyan Dad Can't Believe His Child Is Merely Average. Somehow, this is not an article from The Onion.

(Actual articles from The Onion: Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder All Day; War on String May Be Unwinnable, says Cat General.

Noir cat doesn't mind a reasonable amount of trouble. *

That's levitation, Homes.

French actress/singer Charlotte Gainsbourg hospitalized after suffering a brain hemorrhage; Gainsbourg Improving. Nooooo! I love her! Maybe I'm crazy, but she was my perfect Jane Eyre.

Cate Blanchett wins Best Actress in Venice for playing Bob Dylan. Other winners: Lust, Caution for best film; Brad Pitt for best actor (somewhat surprising, as apparently Casey Affleck--from the same movie--was tipped to get it instead).

TIFF 07: Lust, Caution; TIFF Interview: Eastern Promises Director David Cronenberg; Toronto Diary: Top 10 Movies to Watch.

" '3:10 to Yuma' rides away with a surprisingly easy box-office win."

Review: '3:10 to Yuma' a classic ride; Review: 'Shoot 'Em Up' trashy -- brilliantly so.

A New Trailer and Teaser Poster for P.T. Anderson's 'There Will be Blood.' "Based on Oil!, Upton Sinclair's novel about a father and son in the oil business, There Will be Blood stars Daniel Day Lewis as a heartless oil prospector in turn-of-the-century Texas. Paul Dano (Little Miss Sunshine) stars as a fervent preacher who wins over the townspeople just as Lewis is alienating everyone around him."

The Sequel We've All Been Waiting For: 'Hamlet 2.' "The teen comedy (yes, it's a teen comedy) will focus on a struggling drama teacher who decides to write the ultimate in sequels, Hamlet 2, to save his drama department." I would so go see that.

Kevin Bacon To Fans: I Am Not In ‘Golden Compass.’ Someone thought he was?

First Look at Harry Potter DVD Box Set Due in December; David Thewlis to Return as Lupin for "Half-Blood Prince"; Daniel Radcliffe interview with the Guardian.

Bond 22 Plot Revelations!

First Pics of De Niro and Pacino from 'Righteous Kill' Arrive Online.

New National Treasure & John Rambo Trailers! Oh, for fuck's sake.

Will Smith Finds 'Happyness' with 'Seven Pounds.'

Spoilerific Details Emerge Regarding 'Magneto' Spin-Off.

Paltrow, Phoenix Are Two Lovers.

Nick Cannon Ready To Hit The Court For Arthur Ashe Biopic.

Does Jessica Alba Know Who Barbarella Will Be (Rose McGowan)? Oh my God, I am already so sick of hearing about this movie and they haven't started filming yet.

Wolfgang Petersen to Direct Whitley Strieber's The Grays.

New Line to Remake Juan Antonio Bayona's The Orphanage.

Cameron Diaz as the mother in My Sister's Keeper ?

Pretty, pretty people: Orlando Bloom — GQ’s Man of the Year; Christian Bale photo session for USA Today; Keira Knightley does British 'Vogue.'

Zahara Jolie-Pitt's first handbag.

Vanessa Hudgens apologizes for nude photo.

Barrowman in Out magazine for the win:

>> "Finally [the reporter] got around to a question about my life. I said, ‘Oh, my God, you said gay! I’m so proud of you. It only took you 20 minutes!’ "

>> "The Royal Air Force even asked him to do a fly-by and pose for in-character photo ops. While such a request of an openly gay actor is unthinkable in the current climate of the U.S. military, the United Kingdom drafted a new code of conduct in 2000 allowing gay men and women to serve openly in its armed services. “That’s why I said I’d do it.” Out comes the wicked grin: “I’d like to think my pilot was gay. How many gay boys want to go in the cockpit? I did that!”

>> "Who's your favorite guy on Lost?" "Sawyer. He's a rough boy. I like Jack, but...Sawyer. I would just -- devour him. I'm happy to have to put up a fight."

"Draco and The Malfoy's Play FIRST HARRY POTTER CRUISE EVER!!!" There are so many things that terrify me about this sentence that I don't even know where to start.

Comments

[word-herder.livejournal.com]

As far as horrific plot black holes...You can never be as bad as Robert Jordan and is Wheel of Time series. :)

[word-herder.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. The wine has affected my grammatical skills. That ought to read: "As far as horrific plot black holes go...You can never be as bad as Robert Jordan and his Wheel of time series."

Okay, I'll go back to my eastern Australian shiraz now.

[r-a-black.livejournal.com]

Hmm.. What's your take on the series? I actually have book one and two because a friend of mine insisted I read them when I have the chance; he thinks very highly of the series. I got these copies from my boyfriend, though, and his opinion wasn't so high. In fact, he's never touched the second book (it looks brand new)because he thought the first one was a bit slow.

[scornedsaint.livejournal.com]

I've done the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's walk up here in D.C. for the past two years (my best friend's little brother had non-Hodgkin's lymphoma; he's in remission now). It is such a great society.

Vanessa Hudgens apologizes for nude photo.

Man, Disney will never get rid of her, but I wouldn't be surprised if they had some Mafia enforcers skulking around her house in case she gets any ideas.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

I'm going to finish this thing and write myself into some huge plot hole, or the plot's going to be so snarly that it's not even going to make sense.

I think I recall that JK Rowling did this on chapter 9 of book 4 (the Dark Mark chapter). She seems to have survived nicely.

[phantasm-huzzah.livejournal.com]

I find myself actually wanting to go on that Potter cruise, sadly.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I think a Potter cruise would be cool in theory. In practice, it'd probably be more like being trapped at a convention gone wrong--at sea.

[count-01.livejournal.com]

So, in a hgh-rise luxury hotel with 2,000 of the biggest, fanboiest geeks alive...with the threat of drowning and free food?

The free food alone might tempt me to go.

[brittanygrace.livejournal.com]

You're not crazy. She was my perfect Jane Eyre too, and I'm completely sane. Totally sane. I swear. *nods*

[ccaretta.livejournal.com]

I know this has nothing to do with anything you just talked about, but go see Shoot 'Em Up. SERIOUSLY.

The hubby and I went to see it last night, and I have never laughed so hard at violence before. It's awful as an action movie, using every cliche possible and then inventing some more (Like the gunfight in midair. Awesomely horrible!). But as a sortof parody of an action movie? BRILLIANT!!

[lauramcvey.livejournal.com]

Vanessa Hudgens needs a new publicist. She needs a new brain, come to that. But admitting the pictures were real? She could say they were Photoshopped, that they were part of some movie, that they were, you know, not her. Yeesh.

David Thewlis and Natalie Tena have both been confirmed for HPB. Is it to early to start celebrating?

two comments in on

[kvschwartz.livejournal.com]

"First ... that photo was from the set of a movie with an Important European Director. Second ... I was naked against my will. Third ... that wasn't me, and I wasn't there, and I had not even been born at the time that photo was taken."

====

If Hudgens claimed the photos were photoshopped, and then computer analysis demonstrated that it could not have been, she would be caught in a lie. And then she could never run for political office, because, as everyone knows, successful politicians never get caught in lies.

Re: two comments in on

[lauramcvey.livejournal.com]

Vanessa Hudgens in office? *dies from the sheer horror*

Of course the stupidest thing she did was taking the pictures in the first place. But can analysis really tell if it's photoshopped or not? And even if it did, she'd still have fans claiming it was all LIES!!11!! and supporting her until the bitter end. And it might have been an out of having to participate in more HSM sequels, which I'd grab if I were her.

[kvschwartz.livejournal.com]

Computer analysis can, I think, often find inconsistencies -- in lighting, grain, etc. -- that prove a photo has been altered digitally. It may be more difficult to prove that a photo has NOT been digitally altered, but surely one can demonstrate that the likelihood is low, if all tests for such inconsistencies show, instead, consistency.

====

I don't know enough about VH to say if I would be horrified at the thought of her in office. I don't think I had even heard her name until I read about these photos. Although I had heard that there was something or other called "High School Musical."

[poisoned-candyy.livejournal.com]

Sep. 7th for the $50? Wasn't that yesterday? Too late. Damn.

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

John Barrowman is ALWAYS for the win. Sawyer/Captain Jack? Omgyesplz!!

[trash-addict.livejournal.com]

SO much agreement on this comment. That's pretty much the ultimate crossover ever.

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

OMG YOUR ICON!!!!

That is BY FAR the greatest Torchwood icon I've ever seen. It's made of awesome.

[trash-addict.livejournal.com]

Hee! I can't lay claim to it, it was made by the_redefined (I also have a DW one that they made that I'm quite fond of - "You're like the Raxacorico to my Fallapatorius")

Yours is incredibly distracting!

[redcoast.livejournal.com]

You know, when it comes to phobias, exposure is the best, most effective therapy, as long as you avoid flooding. (That's anxiety so intense that it brings on a panic attack. I don't know if you know psych lingo or what.) If you're afraid of writing something horribly complicated and terrible, perhaps you should try to write something horribly complicated and terrible. Put in a huge plot hole deliberately, perhaps, and see if any of your beta's noice or if it ruins their enjoyment of the book. I bet not. I mean, JKR didn't lose any fans over Goblet of Fire. Orson Welles didn't lose any fans over Citizen Kane.

[kvschwartz.livejournal.com]

"Orson Welles didn't lose any fans over Citizen Kane."

Well ... I'm not sure what you mean by "didn't lose any fans," but he DID immediately go from Hollywood's Boy Wonder to an utter pariah, and, worse yet for him, he DID infuriate William Randolph Hearst (the target of "Citizen Kane"), who devoted his Rupert-Murdoch-meets-Bill-Gates sized economic and journalistic might to crushing Welles' career once and for all. When Hearst failed to round up and destroy every last copy of "Citizen Kane" -- some slipped out of reach -- he had RKO round up and destroy every last copy of Welles' original cut of his follow-up movie "The Magnificent Ambersons." After "Citizen Kane," Welles never again, in his entire caeer, had that perfect combination of artistic control, final cut, AND a decent budget.


But to what gaping plot whole in "Citizen Kane" are you referring?

[redcoast.livejournal.com]

Nobody is in the room to hear Charles Foster Kane say "Rosebud."

Or actually you can't see the room, but it sure seems empty - the nurse doesn't come in until after Kane dies. Supposedly, when one of Welles's friends pointed this out to him, he stared at them for a long minute and then said, "Speak of this to no one!"

[kvschwartz.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. That one.

But that's an Expressionist scene, not a realistic one.

And it may be true that Welles said that, but let's not forget that he was (among his many gifts) a comedian. He had not only written that scene but he had SHOT it, and shooting a scene takes a lot of time and effort, so chances are good that he KNEW who was or was not in that room when Kane died.

"Speak of this to no one!" makes good copy, though. :)

[redcoast.livejournal.com]

Mm, yes I know. I'm inclined to think it's just a goof, though. Welles gets away with far too much. :-)

[kvschwartz.livejournal.com]

There's also a famous technical glitch involving a forerunner of what we now call blue screen shooting or green screen shooting.

During a dissolve near the end of the film, we're startled by a noisy parrot. Supposedly if you slow the film down enough, you can see right *through* the parrot's eye to the next scene,. The technical reason (so I've read) is that the film mistook the black of the parrot's eye for the blackness of blank film. Allegedly.

[redcoast.livejournal.com]

That makes total sense from a technical standpoint. It's like how there were no shiny spaceships before, like, 1995 - they would reflect the bluescreen and the processing would punch holes in the image.

[jedilora.livejournal.com]

She is totally the best Jane Eyre ever. On film, anyway, since the musical had a pretty good one too.

Really, what I want to see is Charlotte for Jane and James Barbour for Rochester on film. Mmmmmmm. She's plain and yet pretty enough, he's all dark and brooooooody.

[dianesoprano.livejournal.com]

I actually had to go back and revise posted chapters of my still-not-complete novel (well, first draft really) because that's how far I managed to dig into my plothole. I wrote in a plane which I described very poorly because I wanted to say "like the plane in that first part of Raiders of the Lost Ark" without actually saying that. I have a note in my outline "reseach planes."

I just keep telling myself that until the book is print and I am getting paid for it, no one can stop me from tweaking it. At this point, my readers (all 20 of them, woohoo!) have been betrayed so many times that they're used to it.

[pscopathictiger.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to tell you, that I finally managed to read your book, and it was amazing. My friend went all the way to Oxford to get it.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Aww, I'm so glad you liked it! Tell your friend thank you for me. : ) (Sorry to take so long to reply--I'm trying to catch up on comments today.)

[carmine-rose.livejournal.com]

I write non-fiction, but frequently feel exactly as you described (but with more "What if I'm just making this up?" than "What if it's full of plotholes?"). Sometimes I can barely go on the computer, let alone open Word, because I'm so scared that whatever I write will be rubbish. But when I manage to force myself to write something, anything, I always feel better - it's always easier to redraft something crap than write something brilliant from scratch.

[sfmarty.livejournal.com]

Hey, cut that out. You don't finish the book? You are depriving someone of the read. You are a witty and interesting writer. You have the chops. Go for it.

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

Could the zepplins have been prompted by the recent presence of His Dark Materials in your conscious and sub-conscious? As for the rest, the thing has to be before it can be good. Write the bloody thing and fix it later! :) But you knew that. :)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Pretty much, yeah. Well, it's really a two-part answer: I remembered a scene from the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen graphic novel where--in a very background kind of way--the London skyline is choked with airships/zeppelins/whatever covered in advertising, and I thought, "I should totally do that, because I've always loved Victorian advertising." (Pear's Soap, patent medicines, that kind of thing.) That was earlier this summer. But I was thinking of those more as blimps or hot-air balloons; maybe they had someone "driving" them, but they weren't necessarily passenger crafts. And then I was thinking about something that happens later in the series, and it was like, "Damn, it's going to take a long damn time for people to get around, isn't it? Particularly if they have to cross continents," and then all of a sudden--probably because I had been reading HDM--zeppelins occurred to me. Of course, I don't know how fast those can actually go, but being able to cut across terrain in a straight line has got to cut some of the distance off, if nothing else. : )

[delle.livejournal.com]

I am a HUGE Oxfordian - I truly truly think he wrote the plays, not the Shakespeare from Stratford-On-Avon. And Sir Derek Jacobi thinks that too? ::dies::