An exquisite soda invaded my senses

[cleolinda]

More about my mental health, because I know you find it so very fascinating--I did quit caffeine two or three weeks ago, and cold turkey, too. In the up-and-down flux of medication adjustment, I didn't really notice any particular withdrawal, because I was too busy feeling crappy in general. So I had that going for me. The problem is, I have been stricken with a deep, abiding, psychological craving for the Dew ever since. It's not about the caffeine--it's about going downstairs at eleven in the morning and getting my little twelve-ounce bottle of yellow-green citrus happy. We needs it, precious. And the entire reason I quit was weight loss--Sister Girl had kicked soda a while back, and reported that after she'd been off it a solid month, the pounds really started to drop. In fact, we had all noticed that she had lost a good bit of weight, in a healthy way--weight she had gained mostly in a self-medicating snack-food funk over Asshole Ex-Boyfriend.  So I thought, you know, I don't want to mess with my meds and try a new one and go on an actual diet, but quitting caffeine might be a good idea before I mess around with the rest of my brain chemistry, and really, it might be nice to have a few pounds drop off while I'm at it. I'm not expecting a huge difference, but I figured, you know, that might be a nice bonus while I'm going through a crappy adjustment period. Not to mention that messing with my dosages has alternately made me want to eat nothing and eat everything. I'm just saying, I figured it couldn't hurt.

Yeah. It's three weeks later, and I am still in the throes of this Proustian longing for my secret carbonated lovah. No, I don't want to replace it, thanks for asking. I don't want to drink a diet soda (which won't work anyway--where's the link for that study that says that the body doesn't recognize diet soda as "diet"?), a caffeine-free soda, or any other impostor you want to sell me. If it's not Mountain Dew--full stop--it's just colored water, people. I just want to remember all the hours we spent together, the Dew and I, writing the book parodies and pulling desperate all-nighters for class and running through sunlit fields together. I personally think it's no coincidence that "madeleine" and "Mountain Dew" have the same number of syllables.

(By the way--when did we stop calling it Remembrance of Things Past and switch to In Search of Lost Time? I mean, I understand that it's a better translation, but I missed that newsletter, apparently.)

Speaking of Proust, Little Miss Sunshine was so good. There are so many little things that are just so right--of course Uncle Frank is a Proust scholar. Of course Olive's song is both deeply inappropriate--appropriately inappropriate, if you will--and still manages to feature a message of acceptance in the chorus (I'm trying to be non-spoilery here). And the acting is uniformly good and real--you never feel like anyone's grandstanding for the audience, even though there are plenty of big emotional outbursts. The thing I ended up liking about it the most, though, was what amounted to a scathing critique of child pageants. The sad thing is, we all know they're kind of terrible; the JonBenet thing was ten years ago, and yet here it is right back in the news again right as this movie comes out, and all the movie has to do is put a normal little girl onstage next to these preening little sexified horrors and it knows that it doesn't even have to say anything else. Well, it says one more thing, which is that Olive's "shocking" dance is only the next logical step forward from those coy little ass-shaking, pedo-baiting routines.

Also, Steve Carell runs exactly like Tom Cruise. With the flat robot hands and everything. Priceless.

(I'm not saying it's a lock or anything, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone came out of this movie with a supporting nomination of some kind. Everyone's talking about the movie; everyone--at the moment--loves it. My best guess is that it might be Alan Arkin, who plays a... unique character, let's say, and might find himself on the receiving end of a Let's Honor the Old-Timer campaign; or it might be Steve Carell, who plays just absolute raw despair in a very quiet but unmissable way, which in and of itself wouldn't be that extraordinary, except that my God, it's Steve Carell. Who knew he could pull out a performance like that?)

Anyway. Good times. Also, we heard at the concession counter that the Vestavia Rave will be getting The Illusionist "next week," which is to say, Friday--the nationwide release date.

Also, I just got an email newsletter from Lane Bryant: "V is for Versatility." Yeah, but if it doesn't come with matching daggers, I don't want to hear about it.

Linky-linky:

Harlan Ellison did whaaaaat? I mean, yes, I have heard the stories--including the "What would you say to a little fuck" story--but Harlan Ellison did whaaaaaaaaaaat?

Interesting things you find on flickr: "Cameras rolling on the second day of shooting in Redcar of the Working Title film Atonement, based on the Ian McEwan novel of the same name." And here I just clicked on it because the photo was gorgeous. In fact, there seems to be an entire pool for photos taken on the set of this one movie.

Heh. I'd forgotten ABC was going to do this: "Airing opposite the Emmys, a 7-10 p.m. offering of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl on ABC siphoned off an estimated 9.3 million viewers. The telecast, far from the run-of-the-mill rerun typically made available as award-show fodder, was seen as ABC's revenge for its top shows--Lost, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives--being shut out of the glamour categories."

A new Antonia Fraser book, whee! 

"Challenged" books drop to all-time low, yay!

The full story on the "Emily" billboards and blog.

Shit. I really am going to have to buy the new LOTR DVDs, aren't I?

And, finally, the new Halloween and LE blends are up at BPAL. I want the Dracula blends so bad. All of them. Even the ones I know won't work on me at all. Shit. (What? I have a Dracula thing. Like, specifically the book, not just an emo vampire fetish or something.) Seriously, that job I applied for better come through soon. Although, ironically? The university is a scent-free working environment. Yeah, I'll be over here with Mr. Bemis shaking my fist at the sky--call it "Money Enough at Last."

Comments

[wtfbrain.livejournal.com]

Good Gad, I keep forgetting you guys have caffeine in Mountain Dew down there. Up here in Canada, there's a pesky law prohibiting the sale of caffeinated "clear" beverages, which is a shame, because, mmm, Mountain Dew...

[tabbyclaw.livejournal.com]

...weird.

[conejita-diabla.livejournal.com]

I totally empathise...I've been trying to kick caffeine for the weight loss reasons as well, and it's all been "why don't you switch to diet", etc. People just *don't understand* that I don't want to switch. What I had to do was start by cutting back. I used to have at least 5-6 cans/glasses a day; now I'm down to 1-2. I figure that's about 600 cals per day, and that's good enough for me. :-)

[angelene.livejournal.com]

Please, forgive me for the intrusion and for being picky, but the point for someone who'd like to lose weight isn't really to kick off caffeine, but the mass-amount of sugar/calories that come with caffeinated beverages such as soda/Mountain Dew.

The cutting-back technique is certainly a good idea. :)

[metonymy.livejournal.com]

The BPAL update is going to kill me, seriously.

I mean. Who doesn't want to go around saying they smell like the Brides of Dracula?

[xanath.livejournal.com]

Joy! Antonia Fraser's written about de Montespan and La Valliere! Now if she'd only do a book on Madame de Sevigne!

--Kris

[altiloquent.livejournal.com]

I switched from regular soda to diet and lost 30 pounds over about 6 months. AND THAT WAS ALL I CHANGED.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much exactly what happened with my sister, except that she may have quit soda entirely.

[siouxcq.livejournal.com]

I think you'd be interested in this (http://siouxcq.livejournal.com/98798.html).

[miabee023.livejournal.com]

If it makes you feel any better, I actually do find your mental health fascinating. And I'd certainly rather be reading about that than, say, doing anything productive with my life. Good luck with it, though!

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

'Also, Steve Carell runs exactly like Tom Cruise. With the flat robot hands and everything.'

I want two hours of outtakes on the DVD of just Steve Carell running like that. For real.

[troubleinchina.livejournal.com]

Is Antonia Fraser's book not out in the US yet? She gave a talk about it (same one where she mentioned liking the new Maria Antoinette film) and it looks quite interesting. It talks a lot about his children and grandchildren and the like.

She's an amazing speaker - better than Alison Weir was, but Alison was so much more approachable. Antonia Fraser has a handler.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Isn't she actually Lady Antonia Fraser?

(I have no idea if the book's out--I got an email newsletter from my publisher about it, and that was the first I'd heard of it.)

[pygmymetal.livejournal.com]

I live the *headdesking* in that clip.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Did you ever get around to reading The Historian?

Re: Mountain Dew - Purely by accident I missed my regular fill-up at lunch today, and just an hour later I was starting to lurch and backfire. Coke just does not contain enough octane, to my mind, and I missed the taste. That was after just one day, man.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I love Coke, but I don't think of it as a source of caffeine (unless it's after five pm, at which point no, I probably will not be sleeping that night) the way I do Mountain Dew. I always referred to Mountain Dew as "my coffee." Fortunately, I was only drinking one very small bottle of it a day, so I got over the actual physical withdrawal pretty quickly. It's all psychological from here on out.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_stormthesea/]

I'm not a caffeine person, but I try to drink (soda-wise) as little as possible. Because me? On a caffeine high? A hundred times not cool.

And Steve Carrell was the greatest suicidal gay Proust scholar I've ever seen.

Harlan Ellison: "I am 100% guilty as charged..."

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

Two things.

Around midday today on the sole Internet board Harlan Ellison appears on (http://harlanellison.com/heboard/unca.htm) (I'm not sure how to post a direct link, but look for Tuesday 12:19 p.m.), Harlan Ellison posted this (quoted directly, typos intact):

"iT IS UNCONSCIONABLE FOR A MAN TO GRAB A WOMAN'S BREAST WITHOUT HER EXPLICIT PERMISSION. To do otherwise is to go 'way over the line in terms of invasion of someone's personal space. It is crude behavior at best, and actionable behavior at worst. When George W> Bush massaged the back of the neck of that female foreign dignitary, we were all justly appalled. For me to grab Connie's breast is in excusable, indefensible, gauche, and properly offensive to any observers or those who heard of it later.

I agree wholeheartedly.

I've called Connie. Haven't heard back from her yet. Maybe I never will."

He added that he knows he should be called on being that big a dumbass, and is OK with having his message posted all over the Internet. He later added (at 12:26) "Did I fail to mention, I am 100% guilty as charged, and NO ONE should attempt to cobble up mitigating excuses for my behavior? As with everything else I REALLY DO (as opposed to the bullshit that is gossiped third-hand by dolts), I am responsible for my actions 100% and am prepared to shoulder all consequences, instead of shunting them off to Vice-President ScaryGuy."

And speaking of "gossiped third-hand," have you seen Snopes's page on Harlan and the "little f***" story (http://www.snopes.com/risque/celebrities/ellison.asp)? That didn't happen to him. He did, however, cop to getting fired from Disney (http://www.snopes.com/disney/wdco/ellison.htm).

I'm shaking my head at Harlan about this weekend's thing. This is an attempt to set the record a little straighter without excusing him. I've met the man, as well as at least one person who's happily worked with him, and I defend Harlan against a lot of outrage. This time he needs to deal with what he did. I'm hoping Connie Willis tells him exactly how she feels.

I'll shut up now.

Re: Harlan Ellison: "I am 100% guilty as charged..."

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heh. I should have clarified that while I had heard the "little fuck" story, I had also heard that it had been attributed to several people--I made it sound like it was definitely him. (Honestly, the whole story sounds more like a preconceived punchline in search of an anecdote.) So yeah, I do agree that people should only take shit for the things they *actually* do. At the same time, I'm kind of astonished that he was so forthright about all of this. Has he said at all what he was thinking at the time?

[shezan.livejournal.com]

(By the way--when did we stop calling it Remembrance of Things Past and switch to In Search of Lost Time? I mean, I understand that it's a better translation, but I missed that newsletter, apparently.)

It may look like a better translation, but it's not. "Temps perdu" is subtly different from "Lost time", which is pretty linear; and "search" is not exactly "recherche" either. I far prefer the old Scott Moncrieff translation; the new one jars.

[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

I have had the same problem with Mountain Dew. I have quit it countless times only to go back. I quit smoking cold turkey and never went back, but I can't quit the Dew. And it's the reason I'm fat, and the reason I have such problems with my stomach. Because I drink a lot of it. Ugh.

[phoenixforhire.livejournal.com]

"Aaaa few things have changed since last time we talked." *headdesk*headdesk*headdesk*

Well.... There goes an easy what, 80 of my hard earned dollars? Yeah. Damn them for being so fucking fantastic. I was fangirling through that entire thing. x]

[hearst-shadow.livejournal.com]

I was not aware of this Proustian paradigm shift!

But there are more dire things at stake here. Steven needs our help. He needs to get this message to Veronica:

helpmeveronica.com (http://www.helpmeveronica.com)

If you can do what you can to make sure it reaches her ears, Steven—and Hearst—will be all the safer. Thank you.

[artemis-archer.livejournal.com]

Coffee and cigarettes have never been my thing but I'm completely addicted to Mountain Dew. I tried cutting back a while ago but since I'm starting college next week I know that I'm going to need the power of the Dew for those late nights. Hearing that your sister lost weight after quitting soda really makes me want to try that though. Maybe over Christmas break...

And GAH! about the new LOTR DVDs. Despite the fact that they'll probably be re-released every few years from now until the end of time, I still think I'm going to end up buying them *hands peter jackson life savings*

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

And did you hear he wants to re-release the movies in 3-D? I mean, really, Peter. Move on.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

I like calling things the most "challenged" book of 2005. It makes it seem like the book had a really hard time, like, being a book.

A friend of mine went off caffeine for health reasons, and I think it did her well.

But...Mountain Dew! It's like my second favorite soft drink, next to Coke.

[neveth.livejournal.com]

I reccommend tea! It's relatively good for you, and tasty!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I already drink gallons of (decaffeinated) tea a day. ; )

[notemily.livejournal.com]

after seeing Little Miss Sunshine last night, I have concluded that Steve Carell is the fucking man.

[kvschwartz.livejournal.com]

"messing with my dosages has alternately made me want to eat nothing and eat everything."

Oh boy can I empathize with THAT.

[rhapsodeeinblue.livejournal.com]

Crap! You have our money already, Peter Jackson! But seeing those clips leaves me few options...

And I have to see Little Miss Sunshine...

[rebel-waltz.livejournal.com]

i can't remember ever seeing a movie that lived up to its hype as much as Little Miss Sunshine did. plus one of my favorite bands did the music, so it was really perfect.

[queenofattolia.livejournal.com]

I'm not saying it's a lock or anything, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone came out of this movie with a supporting nomination of some kind. Everyone's talking about the movie; everyone--at the moment--loves it. My best guess is that it might be Alan Arkin, who plays a... unique character, let's say, and might find himself on the receiving end of a Let's Honor the Old-Timer campaign; or it might be Steve Carell, who plays just absolute raw despair in a very quiet but unmissable way, which in and of itself wouldn't be that extraordinary, except that my God, it's Steve Carell. Who knew he could pull out a performance like that?

My thoughts exactly, especially your last comment about Carell's performance. Who knew? With chops like that I hope he doesn't get eternally pigeonholed in comedy like Bill Murray or Jim Carrey (not that they can touch him dramatically).

But let's also not forget Greg Kinnear's performance, which I thought was as astonishing as Carell's. Again, who knew?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, I knew about Kinnear--he was actually nominated for As Good As It Gets, and I remember that Auto Focus got something of an Oscar push at the time. But yeah, it's a similar trajectory--guy goes from snarky cable show to amazing performance. I loved the part near the end where we basically watched him react to the entire pageant, and you could *see* the way he was starting to appreciate Olive--sort of like, "She's the only normal child here, and if this is 'success,' then I don't want it inflicted on her." I love that kind of subtle-but-evocative acting where you can read someone's face and they don't even have to say anything.