This just in

[cleolinda]

Solar system loses a planet. Which, to us laypeople, sounds a little like declaring that there are now only six days in a week. Meanwhile, Pluto and Tom Cruise are down at a bar drowning their sorrows. "Fourteen years! I was with them for fourteen years!" "Try seventy-six, crybaby!"

Ten show concepts that would still be less stupid, inflammatory, and/or ill-advised (pick one) than Four Square Racial War Survivor:

1. Geeks vs. jocks


2. PC vs. Mac


3. Democrats vs. Republicans


4. Bulimics vs. anorexics


5. East Coast vs. West Coast


6. Deaf-mutes vs. amputees


7. Two-legs vs. four-legs


8. Jews vs. Nazis


9. Christians vs. lions


10. Ninjas vs. robots

Allen called Sidarth a what?

And somewhere, Mark Burnett's like, "If they won't let him legislate anymore, we should totally hire that guy for our show."



ETA: People, ninjas vs. pirates is not on the list because that would be a good idea. Ninjas vs. robots is a fundamentally flawed (i.e., stupid) idea because seawater would rust the robots (she said, with a perfectly straight face).

Comments

[count-01.livejournal.com]

Four legs good, two legs better.

[musikologie.livejournal.com]

I would watch Ninjas vs. Robots. However, I won't watch the new Survivor. Seriously, what the fuck, CBS?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

TWO LEGS BAAAAD!

Wait...

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, *I* would watch Ninjas vs. Robots, but I don't know how the Robot-American community would feel about it.

[oya-yansa.livejournal.com]

Which, to us laypeople, sounds a little like declaring that there are now only six days in a week.

Not to mention Scorpios who believe in astrology are bereft. Having a reigning dwarf is just not the same.

[thunderphoenix.livejournal.com]

What will my very educated mother just serve us now?

[madbard.livejournal.com]

Isn't it time astronomers got jobs? It's clear they're bored and just trying to stir up controversy. I say we freeze their wages until we discover faster-than-light travel.

[koritsimou.livejournal.com]

Mr. Allen should come to my hometown and repeat that shit. They'd turn him into Allen McNuggets.

[azuresquirrel.livejournal.com]

Geeks vs. Jocks? I thought that was what "Beauty and the Geek" was for (no, never watched it, don't get me started).

No Pluto?!?!? Does no one else see the true tragedy in this? The loss of Sailor Pluto, the most badass of sailor senshi? (she has the power of motherfuckin time so it'd be like those motherfuckin' snake were never even on the motherfuckin' plane)

[brittastic14.livejournal.com]

dude, I would pay good money to see all those survivors but Pirates vs. cowboys would be awesome too! oh and Tom Cruise is such a crybaby!LOL

[yarha.livejournal.com]

It doesn't *seem* like Tom Cruise is totally heartbroken. I dunno. Serves the fucker right. Whatever.

As Mork said, "Don't go to Pluto, it's a doggy planet."

Racial wars? Can TV get stupider than it is? Probably so. How about 'Lawyers vs Lawyers'?

Help! I need a verb for 'to make more pompous' to prevent me from coining pomposify. English just ain't got the right stuff.

Yarha, Coining Words If Not Money

[lots42.livejournal.com]

I was half expecting the Aide's name to be something close, like 'Maccas' but no. This Senator dude is a complete douchebag.

[vkitty.livejournal.com]

No Pluto?!?!? Does no one else see the true tragedy in this? The loss of Sailor Pluto, the most badass of sailor senshi? (she has the power of motherfuckin time so it'd be like those motherfuckin' snake were never even on the motherfuckin' plane)

Dude, that's what I was about to say! What's Sailor Pluto now? A frickin' Sailor Star?

[lots42.livejournal.com]

I've always avoided most reality shows, Survivor included, because they completely encourage hate and anger.

I watched Joe Schmo religously, for many reasons, including the fact that being nice was rewarded.

[sound-of-bells.livejournal.com]

The New York Times' Op-Ed page has been OBSESSING about the whole Pluto thing for weeks. My mom and I just sort of stared at it going, "...tf?" And the number of people who wrote in letters in was kind of... odd. I mean, I'm the last person who should be talking, but - you have nothing to do besides write in letters to the New York Times about Pluto? *shakes head*

It's all very strange. But the right thing to do, I guess, since the alternative is adding something like forty more, and that would just be really confusing...

[clodia-risa.livejournal.com]

Nachos?

[thunderphoenix.livejournal.com]

But will that be enough? I mean, with nine pizzas, you know that there'd be enough to go around, and noone would be hungry. My very educated mother knows better than to short us on the grub.

# Ninjas vs. robots ????

[kdorian.livejournal.com]

DUUUDE!

It's # Ninjas vs. PIRATES!

[edda.livejournal.com]

Although Dwarves live underground and Pluto is Lord of the Underworld, so...then again, having Gimli from Lord of the Rings for a sex symbol has to cramp your style.

I'm a Capricorn. You can borrow Saturn 'til we get the whole mess straightened out.

[edda.livejournal.com]

As a native Virginian, I will do everything in my power to make that a reality.

[absolute-tash.livejournal.com]

Pirates V. Ninjas is strangely absent...I'd watch that.

Seriously, my favorite part is when Probst calls it "valuable social experiment." We'll learn and grow from this mediocre television. There are so many sociological lessons that highly edited television shows can teach us! I'm smelling a Nobel Prize here....

[koritsimou.livejournal.com]

Please! Lets! We'll act like we'd be so honored for him to come, and then we'll set him up on the East side of Aurora and his audience will be 90% black/hispanic. and they will look at him like "NO." and commence the destruction and it will be beautiful.

[scornedsaint.livejournal.com]

And somewhere, Mark Burnett's like, "If they won't let him legislate anymore, we should totally hire that guy for our show."

Please hire him, Burnett. Don't let him ruin our already screwed-up state.

Which, to us laypeople, sounds a little like declaring that there are now only six days in a week.

And means that I can no longer sing that peppy little song about the planets I learned in kindergarten. "These are the planets that we know, round and round the sun they go!" no more.

[azuresquirrel.livejournal.com]

Poor Pluto. Sentenced to be a strange sex-changing BDSM freak all because of some silly scientist's "rules."

[scornedsaint.livejournal.com]

I'll help!