This entry will not be screened in advance for critics

[cleolinda]

I wrote 5300 words yesterday, because I am the mack. This was particularly nice after my publisher sent me another complimentary clipping--a review that included the phrase "in-yer-face unsubtlety" and ended with "this is probably one for the bathroom." Which is, of course, exactly what I need to hear while I'm struggling with trying to even get a second book started. Fortunately, those are the only two lines I happened to see before I folded the paper shut again and banished it to the sort pile across the room. My sister pointed out, in an unusual gesture of support, that this is probably not the kind of book that critics are going to like anyway, so if they had liked it I would have had to ask myself what I'd done wrong. Which is great in theory ("It's not FOR you!"), except that I get the feeling that my critics are saying, "I like a good book of parody, and this ain't it."

Wait, why am I gassing on about bad reviews? I thought this was supposed to be about how I'm really excited about developing a new story which may or may not be FOR you.

A collection of links that've been piling up on me, so forgive me if they're a touch outdated:

All Mel Gibson, all the time!

Crazy Mel Gibson: The Cover-Up.

Mel Gibson: A How Screwed Is That Guy? Round-Up

Gibson Enters Rehab After DUI Arrest.

ABC pulls Mel Gibson Holocaust miniseries.

Mel Gibson Was 'Really On The Verge Of Suicide' Before His DUI Arrest; 'This Was A Death Wish.'

Gibson seeks meeting with Jewish leaders.

His full apology. No, the other one.  

Will you avoid Gibson's future movies due to his anti-Semitic comments? Seventy-three percent say no, although I imagine that 97% of that 73% percent added, "I'm gonna avoid 'em 'cause they're in frickin' Mayan."

Non-crazy, non-Gibson linkspam:

Don't kill Harry Potter, King and Irving urge Rowling. Any other authors whose names end in -ing are also free to comment.

Heath Ledger set as Joker in "Batman" sequel titled The Dark Knight.

'Miami Vice' takes $25.2M, sinks 'Pirates.' No hard feelings, though--Disney's head of distribution looks up from the enormous vat of cash he's been rolling around in long enough to say, and I quote, "It's a very happy weekend."

Nicole Kidman to play Mrs. Coulter in The Golden Compass? Apparently so. Eva Green also cast as Serafina.

The Fountain moved back to Thanksgiving week. Only a few weeks, and the confidence they're showing by playing it on a big holiday weekend sounds good, so I'm happy. Also, my mother'll be able to see it this way--I've sucked her into it via the new trailer. As someone here commented last week, I may not be turning into my mother--my mother may be turning into me.

Posters: The Black Dahlia (eeek), Nicolas Cage looking like his DNA has been spliced with that of Keanu Reeves in The Wicker Man.

Haynes' Dylan Pic Finally Ready to Go: "Disappointingly, it turns out that only a handful of the slew of names already connected to the film will actually play Dylan (a different actor will represent each 'different period or artistic phase of his life'): Christian Bale, Richard Gere, Heath Ledger, Cate Blanchett and Ben Whishaw will be joined by young African-American actor Marcus Carl Franklin in the role -- and that's it. While David Cross, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Bruce Greenwood, Julianne Moore and Michelle Williams ARE in the film, they're sadly not going to get to play Dylan."

Clooney Confirmed for Pet Sematary Redo? I'm intrigued by this because Clooney generally has good instincts. Who comes off double Oscar nominations and does a crappy Stephen King movie? A crappy Stephen King remake? Nobody, that's who. There's got to be something seriously compelling about this that we're not seeing.

HBC confirmed for HP5. 

Yes, It Was Inevitable: Jackman in Carousel.


I go back to write now. Also, I think we're having breakfast for dinner, yay!

Comments

[justjayj.livejournal.com]

I dunno about you, but in this case I think bathroom book is a compliment. It's something with brief sections that you can dive into it at any page and be entertained, and you'd want to read it over and over again.

No, seriously.

(But dude, what kind of editor sends potentially upsetting clips? Sheesh!)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, they just send everything, which I appreciate. Also, they're probably assuming I'm a Big Girl who can Take Care of Herself.

[cupcakery.livejournal.com]

I fear the remake of The Wicker Man.

[christwise.livejournal.com]

Oh good, someone else with some sense (not directed at you Cleo).

"It's far too dangerous to jump over the fire with your clothes on!"

[akathorne.livejournal.com]

Breakfast for dinner rulez. Also, Nic Cage WISHES he could have his genes spliced with Keanu. He's never looked that good.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Dude, seriously. I was very put out when I realized they hadn't just replaced him with Keanu at the last second.

(Actually, I think Keanu would have been good for Wicker Man--he's good in movies that require a "Dude, wtf?" reaction.)

[redcoast.livejournal.com]

I don't know that "in-yer-face unsubtlety" and "this is probably one for the bathroom" is uncomplimentary, actually. My least favorite thing about the book was that you had to read the parodies on the web to understand some of the running jokes We're not supposed to criticize you here, are we?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hey, you can if you want. I've never believed in chasing people away for stating a civil, valid opinion (as opposed to "U SUCK LOLZ").

And yeah, there are jokes I put in there for the long-time readers. I figured that there were so many jokes overall, however, that I felt like it wasn't unfair to have a small portion (or so I thought) refer to things that you can, after all, go back and read at no charge.

P.S. Trust me, it was uncomplimentary.

[daemonnoire.livejournal.com]

I have decidedly more confidence in Stephen King films ever since The Man Himself took a strangle hold on the process and shook out everyone who ever thought "Lawnmower Man" was a good idea.

[a-hollow-year.livejournal.com]

...well, isn't it sort of a book for the bathroom, though? Or the subway, or any place where, in our hectic, fast-paced lives, we can find fifteen fucking minutes to ourselves to open up a book and appreciate something light-hearted, cutting, and all-round entertaining? You know, something that makes said hectic lives worth living until our next fifteen-minute break?

Try this reinterpretation on: this book is a nice, quick, metaphorical punch in the face to alleviate the crippling gravitas of our high-drama day-to-day lives.

Also, fuck 'em.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I'm now convinced that there is no written or spoken work that could not be improved by ending it with "Also, fuck 'em." I think this will replace my previous standby, "And thus, America was safe once again for democracy."

[plazmah.livejournal.com]

Re: the His Dark Materials movie. Part of me is excited that a movie is being made, part of me is weeping for how it will inevitably not be as awesome as the books.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I did kind of have some issues with the third book, so I'm wondering if those might be ironed out by an adaptation...

[thynk2much.livejournal.com]

This?

Don't kill Harry Potter, King and Irving urge Rowling. Any other authors whose names end in -ing are also free to comment.

Made my day.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks. : )

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

That PA strip is one of my favorites. Hee. I love the way his eyes bug out.

[prncssaurora.livejournal.com]

Okay, I have spent the last 5 minutes laughing at that icon - WHERE did you get it? And no, I don't have anything of substance to say.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

mcity on JournalFen made it (I don't know his LJ username, if he has one). Brilliant, isn't it?

[all-ephemera.livejournal.com]

My theory on critics is that it's one, single person making an opinion that a bunch of other people are supposed to pay attention to. But see... I liked Star Wars so I'm fucked already on that one. I liked your book, a lot. Enough that my boyfriend and I fought over who got to read it first, in fact. ("I found her on the internet and I read 6 times faster than you, I win." and just like that I won.)

Also, I'm now terrified to read the final HP book. I don't think I want to know who dies. Ever.

I must kill off my italics obsession. Excuse me.

[cupcakery.livejournal.com]

Also, I'm now terrified to read the final HP book. I don't think I want to know who dies. Ever.

Oh man, I know. When it comes out, there will probably be a frillion people just holding their copies of it and looking apprehensively.

...I think it may be the one that I'll flip to the back to find out who dies, and then decide whether or not to read it.

[arayuldaiel.livejournal.com]

Nicola Kidman is going to be the PERFECT Mrs Coulter. And Eva Green? Nice. Now, as for how the actual movie will go, I'm just going to close my eyes and look at the pretty cast.

[lilgoala.livejournal.com]

I just got an email from Amazon.co.uk letting me know that my copy of your book was dispatched and should be here by the 8th. :)

I suspect I'll have just as much fun reading it in the living room as I will in the bathroom.

[smilevampy.livejournal.com]

Re. King, Irving, and Rowling
Dash it. I was supposed to go to that yesterday, but got stuck in traffic on the Triborough Bridge. Stupid New York drivers... :'(

Re. Bob Dylan movie Ummm... Raise your hand if you're not Bob Dylan?
...
...
*raises hand*

[pinstripe-bindi.livejournal.com]

I'm probably in the minority, but I find ScarJo to be a wooden and terrible actress (although a lushly gorgeous woman). That said, she could work in this role, because Elizabeth Short is such a cipher... someone that everyone sees something different in. I am cautiously excited for this movie. (Awesome poster, too.)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Actually, Scar's playing one of Ellroy's characters in the aftermath of the murder--one of the women involved with the detectives. Mia Kirshner plays the (already dead, I think) Dahlia.

[ex-hellodoll259.livejournal.com]

Ok...

So I know they are looking at Mr Witherspoon for the other bad guy in Batman...

But is anyone else rooting for a Heath/Jake reunion?

Annddd.. HP5 in less than year! SQUEE!

[lilgoala.livejournal.com]

Heh, Brokebat Mountman.

[thegeneralerin.livejournal.com]

ewwwww...why can't Jackman do a GOOD musical? I <3 musicals, and I <3 Hugh...but Carousel? Seriously?

Oh well. I'll probably see it anyway.

[smilevampy.livejournal.com]

I agree wholeheartedly. Carousel is terrible...

[edda.livejournal.com]

I have the Love Of Icon Lovableness over here. I've probably mentioned it before about that particular icon, but it bears repeating.

Linkspam YAY!

I made a French toast casserole for dinner. Which served to remind me why I really am not a bif fan of French toast, but it was very a good French toast casserole.

Oh, and to be random, Monday night's No Reservations on the Travel Channel was set in Sweden, and one of the late-night snacks that the host got into was called something like a tumblerollen (that's how it sounded, anyway) and was sold from a little stand--basically, it was a grilled hot dog with mashed potatoes and cheese and mustard and ketchup and I think relish and shrimp salad, all wrapped up in a kind of Swedish tortilla/flatbread thingie. It looked totally disgusting, so of course I'd sell my mom to get my hands on one. OMGFILTHYGREASYGOODNESS.

[edda.livejournal.com]

I am not a BIG fan of French toast. *facepalm*

Also, you are a genius parodist, which any idiot (who OPENS their EYES and actually READS) can see.

[sapphires13.livejournal.com]

Stephen King totally doesn't have any room to talk >_< He kills people off all of the time. I'm still pissed off at him for killing off all of my favourite characters in the last Dark Tower book... but you see, I understand why they needed to be killed off. And I understand why Harry needs to be killed off. I have no hate for Harry, but I think he should die for the cause. Kill Voldemort, and die while doing it, that kind of thing.

And remakes? Why?! Can't we get some new, not-made-for-TV, high budget film adaptations of some of his other books, instead of remaking Pet Sematary?

[sexion8.livejournal.com]

"What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"

That took me on a ride on the ROFL-copter.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Before or after you rode the lollercoaster?

(I love your icon. Just about anything with animals and leet spelling does me in.)

[yarha.livejournal.com]

In re, book review: Oh, stop. You wrote a book for a niche audience, that's all. My very good friend, also in the niche, hasn't given the copy I loaned him back, yet. And he will before long, or I shall have to send Guido over to break his legs speak sternly to him.

It was a good book.

In re, Mel Gibson: Is anyone surprised by this? This is like HEADLINES: MIDDLE EAST STILL SCREWED UP. You know, a perpetual non-surprise.

Yarha, Gibsonology

[sorchar.livejournal.com]

Your critics just aren't your audience, that's all.

[missmp.livejournal.com]

I'm in a really bad mood tonight, but those authors saying to Rowling, 'Oh, don't kill Harry!' really rubs me the wrong way. Who asked them? Why the fuck should they have any say? 'Oh, hey, we're famous authors! Let's tell another famous author how to write her book!' Boo to them.

5300 words! That is so awesome!

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

Mrrr... I think Nicole Kidman can be charming and creepy the way Mrs. Coulter should, but I'd like to feed her up before I get all excited about her and her golden monkey. She just hasn't been pretty to me since she stopped being a redhead and instead discovered her long-hidden talent as a transparent anatomical model.

[kpachayagolobka.livejournal.com]

*runs around screaming like an insane woman* OHMYGODGOLDENCOMPASSMOVIE!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

SOEXCITED!!!!