SAG Awards liveblog #1

First of all: ladies and gentlemen, Henry Cavill is your new Superman.

Secondly: I am Cleo, and I am, perhaps regrettably, not an actor. But all of these fine people are. ( Read more... )

SAG Awards liveblog #2

Ladies and gentlemen! Sofia Vergara in extremely busty blue and Taye Diggs in bowtie. Also, my internet just went out. FFFFFFFFFFFFFF ( Read more... )

SAG Awards liveblog #3

Ladies and gentlemen! Amy Poehler in... very shouldersome black. Huh. "Real... warm... generous... kind of cheesy... heavy on the meat. These in my opinion are the qualities of a good sandwich." ( Read more... )

SAG Awards liveblog #4

Ladies and gentlemen! Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis! Okay, it's official: white is The Color. I like Portman's maternity dress better this time than the pink one. Also: GIRL. I really do like Mila Kunis's dress, which is red (running neck and neck with white this evening) and--streamy? Words, I have them.

Oh, also, Black Swan clip. Nobody say anything, I'm not seeing it until Tuesday.

Tim Conway is here to present a lifetime achievement award to the newly 94-year-old Ernest Borgnine. I mean this with all due respect: this is going to be excruciating, isn't it? Although Conway does accurately nail RED as "an AARP action film." We are also reminded that Borgnine was the Oscar-winning Marty, question beloved of disgraced trivia players everywhere. Holy crap, Ernest Borgnine beat James Dean for an Oscar? I'm not saying he shouldn't have, I just... that's... that's a thought. So... wow, Ernest Borgnine has visited every veterans' hospital in America. Please welcome! Morgan Freeman! Wait, what? I'm confused. "Can't see the teleprompter with all of you standing up." Apparently the Italians have a phrase that precisely sums up what it feels like to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award from President God, and that phrase is, "Life is what you make it." I don't even know.

@fuggirls: This Lifetime Achievement Award is taking about as long as my entire lifetime.

Okay, I feel less horrible now. Well, no, now I feel like a horrible person again because Ernest Borgnine is more eloquent at 94 than I am at 32. Man, let me be that sharp when I wake up tomorrow morning.

@particleperson: @cleolinda No, that really did take long enough to run down the sun into a red dwarf.

Next up: Justin Timberlake and the Annual Death March of Deathly Death.  

SAG Awards liveblog #5

Please welcome! Robin Wright in leggy black and Jeremy Renner in a tie! ( Read more... )

SAG Awards liveblog #6

Please welcome! Susan Sarandon! Wow, there are some SCREAMS out in the audience. I mean, she looks good, but damn.( Read more... )

SAG Awards liveblog #7

Ladies and gentlemen! Nicole Kidman! In some kind of--black--chokey--something? Well, we had a nice run of great dresses, I guess. Without further ado because WE HAVE RUN OUT OF TALKY TIME, CHRISTIAN: ( Read more... )