(no subject)

[cleolinda]

Aaaaaand once again we've hit that point in a really long movie where I start rocking back and forth and whimpering, "I can't do this! I can't do this!" It's very much an "I can't see the forest for the many, MANY trees" point. Why does Titanic have to be so long? Whyyyy?

Weirdly enough, from a parodist's point of view, I can actually deal with the first half of the movie. There is a distinct, delightfully clichéd poor-boy-meets-rich-girl story arc that isn't hard to outline. It's when the ship starts sinking that it turns into more of a "This is [sort of] what actually happened" narrative, and yeah, it's pretty gripping just by virtue of being true. I mean, of course the main characters in the foreground are fictional, but the real fascination of the second half of the movie isn't oh, woe, what will happen to Jack and Rose; it's the slow, rubbernecking horror of realizing that this is pretty much what really happened to several hundred people, and you're going to be sitting here watching everyone suffer nobly until the final catharsis (Titanic Heaven!). And that's great drama, but... that doesn't help break it down into easily satirized chunks. And don't even get me started on what the hell I'm going to do about the Little Old Couple of Pathos. Damn. If I didn't have rousing games of Spot the Ioan to break up the agony, I don't know what I'd do.

Anyway. This is also the point in my writing process, generally speaking, when the really bad pop music gets marched out. I'm talking... well, I'm talking that boy band that Justin Timberlake was in and I don't know how to spell, because it involves an asterisk or an ampersand or somesuch shit. DON'T ADD CRIMES COMMITTED AGAINST THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO MY SHAME, PEOPLE.

(Do enough people read Television Without Pity that I could put in a TWOP-specific Alias reference? Screw it, I'm gonna do it anyway. Ship Daddy!)



Oh, and be a dear and help out deadspeaker if you have a moment:

And so can you!
The LJ Sex Survey Meme 2005: Take it today!

Comments

[ciara-belle.livejournal.com]

N*SYNC

*shifty glance* Not that I went to one of their concerts or anything...

Ok, I did. But only because JC's cousin went to school with me!

And 'cause I thought the blonde one was hot.

[greensounds.livejournal.com]

*NSYNC?!

dammit, cleo, I thought I loved you, but now I'm not so sure.

EVERYONE knows the Backstreet Boys is where it's at. And if they don't, they're stupid. Hmmph.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

You say that like I don't also have "Everybody" on MP3, and like I didn't take algebra from Howie's aunt. : )

[nore-fortuna.livejournal.com]

Are you thinking of NSYNC?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

That'd be the one. I googled it and found N*SYNC, *NSYNC, N'SYNC, and so on, and just said, "Screw it." ; )

[andrealyn]

Mmm, Ioan. [/obligatory Ioan squee]

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

I remember the Pathos Couple! And yeah, the second half is depressing because that's more of the *actual* events instead of Corny Love Story, but I still couldn't help but come up with--

Pathos Man-- "Well, we get two minutes in the movie and now we're going to drown."

Pathos Woman-- "Anybody else think that our story would've been a heck of a lot more interesting than Jack and Rose's?"

Pathos Man-- "Me. What, you have to do silly dances and strip now to be part of a Grand Tragic Romance? Feh. Maybe we're lucky to only be in the movie for two minutes."

Pathos Woman-- "Agreed."

[wiliqueen.livejournal.com]

*snorfle* The (actually both quite young) folks playing the Strausses when I did the musical (no connection to the movie, except for being about the same historical event) had backstage conversations not entirely dissimilar to this...

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm, Ioan.

just hit it

[taea-dol.livejournal.com]

with a big movie spoofer.critic.genius stick that you always carry with you and keep at it hun. it will be merveilleux when you are done and the millions of us out here (millions i say!) will all love it. as will your publisher i am certain!

you know, you do have certain umm.. fangirls (i like that word better than stalker, it just sounds... prettier?) who believe in you and TEH FUNNY ;)

cant wait to read it.

and JT's band was N*SYNC i believe... i'm a bit too old to admit it but not too old to lust after J's.. umm.. attributes ;)

have fun. remember the dolphins!

m

Re: just hit it

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, of course. By the way, the dolphins want me to tell you, "EEEH! HEEEHEHEHEH!"

[scarolinagrl.livejournal.com]

I think you're ok w/ the TWOP reference, if there's not enough fans out there who read that site, surely there's enough ALIAS/Victor G. fans who've seen the DVDs and would get it. The TWOP recapper did commentary on one of the Season 3 DVDs.

Oh, and it's officially a little star before the N in NSYNC, no spaces.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

The TWOP recapper did commentary on one of the Season 3 DVDs.

For real? That's awesome.

CLEO! I NEED YOUR HELP, HON!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nymphette_/]

can you check the last entry in my LJ?

http://www.livejournal.com/users/_nymphette_/146609.html

You're the only person I've had interaction with on LJ who might be able to help, and if you were the coolest fecking wench around, I'd never ask it.

nilo is one of you biggest fans - she linked me to you, back when you had like, only 200 friends ;) But GAWDDAMN she needs us...

I know the entry is long - but it's that serious. Life threatenbingly serious hon. And you're a crusader...

Re: CLEO! I NEED YOUR HELP, HON!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nymphette_/]

Ok - to freaked to typem I guess.

If you WEREN'T the coolest freakin' wench around...

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Ah, the Little Old Couple of Pathos, otherwise known as Ida and Isidor Strauss, otherwise known as the Adorable Old Couple of "Where you go, I go," otherwise known as the exact moment in Titanic where I start crying. 'Cause I'm cold on the fake romance but hopelessly attached to the real people. (Says the woman with the Titanic coloring book. I'm a sick bastard. :))

[stephanie-kay.livejournal.com]

That icon is hilarious.

[sparkythehamstr.livejournal.com]

Heh. I've never seen Titanic. And I don't intend to.

So what I'm wondering is... do livejournal users have more or less sex than "regular" people?

[carebear080787.livejournal.com]

Ah... HoratioIoan...

[girlalmighty]

Firstly, Ship Daddy totally works. I didn't even know SpyDaddy was TWOP until just now when I read this entry. I saw it online somewhere once and my mom and I have called him that since. So! I think most Alias fans will totally get it.

Secondly! Ioan. Oh. Ioan. I really ought to watch Titanic again just to see him. And also because it's been four years. But mainly because I love Ioan.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I hadn't realized how early in his career that movie was--he is rilly, rilly Welsh, yo. And pretty. : )

[delle.livejournal.com]

I've only watched the 2nd half of Titanic. And my main impression was: "Jack!" "Rose!" Run wildly around the ship. Rinse. Repeat. Several times.

It actually made me laugh - when I should have been reacting like you, with sadness. But the constant yelling at each other and the ridiculous ways they were seperated? Eh.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Actual excerpt, I am totally not kidding:

ROSE: Jack?

JACK: Rose!

ROSE: Jack?

JACK: Rose!

ROSE: Jack?

JACK: Rose!

ROSE: Jack?

JACK: Rose!

ROSE: JACK!!

[lezopez.livejournal.com]

NSYNC WAS ALWAYS TEH HAWT!!!!1!!!!11!!


I tried to convince my mother to let me get dreds in my hair like Chris. (DUDE HES FROM MY HOMETOWN GOTTA REPRESENT). Luckily, my mother has far far more sense than her daughter.

Yea I went to the concert. And cried. And am I ashamed? NEVAH.


AND OMG LOST PREVIEW. I had to change my pants.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Dammit! I keep forgetting that they show new previews after reruns!

[ambiguousreason.livejournal.com]

*NSYNC!!! BWAHAHAHA.


I'll bet I'm, like, the tenth person to say something of that nature.

[misshallelujah.livejournal.com]

Why does Titanic have to be so long? Whyyyy?

I remember asking myself that question many, many times in the cinema. But that was primarily because I really needed to use the loo. "ARGH, JUST SINK ALREADY WILL YOU?"

Thanks for helping me pimp out the poll, btw! :)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

No problem. : )

[elvensapphire.livejournal.com]

I think I'm one of the only girls left in the world who completely adored 'N Sync and still admits it. 'Cause let's face it, I loved them, and their music? Still makes me smile on the occasions when I play it. Plus the Pop Odyessey concert was one hell of a show. Heh.

I would think it would be awfully hard to parody Titanic. I weep every time I watch it. *laughs* I still admit that, too. The beginning, sure. But the end? I can't imagine. (Btw, I had no idea Ion was in the movie! That's my interesting fact for the evening.)

[girlalmighty]

Ioan is Officer Harold Lowe; at the very end, he's the one in charge of the lifeboat that saves Rose. ^_^ He's so . . . boaty and heroic.

[phoebesmum.livejournal.com]

My one abiding impression of Titanic - other than, if you don't want your jewellery, give it to me, you daft old biddy - was Cameron's cheerful character assassination of one and all associated with the White Star line (presumably on the grounds that they were British and therefore, in Hollywood terms, fair game). The studio was actually embarrassed enough to make an apology to William Murdoch's townspeople (albeit a typically half-arsed one. (http://www.dalbeattie.com/titanic/apol.htm)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

You know, I was thinking about that myself--since he so scrupulously crammed as many real names into the movie as he could. Ismay, in particular--how did Cameron not get sued into next week?

[caffienerain.livejournal.com]

It's *NSYNC

I'm so ashamed...

[caffienerain.livejournal.com]

Mark me down as the 30th person to say it.

(besides, as a Backstreet fan I KNOW I shouldn't even be admitting to being a sync fan. shame, shame, shame I tell you!)

[treehugginhippy.livejournal.com]

Actually, the entire second half is, according to survivors, what really happened. The band playing until the end, the preacher with the second-class ticket giving a sermon, the locking of the gates, the absolute panic towards the end. James Cameron went absolutely nuts making sure all the little details were right.

Hell, the conversation in the middle between Ismay and the Captain about wanting to get the ship in early was actually recorded in a journal by a girl sitting at the next table! (If you look closely in the film, Cameron even PUT a girl listening right behind them!)

I went totally ape over this movie when it first came out. Not because of Leo, like so many kids my age, but because of all the historical truthfulness -- I'm a sucker for period costumes and facts that are ACCURATE.

Y'know that if they had rammed the iceberg straight on instead of trying to turn, the ship would not have sunk? :)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Actually, the entire second half is, according to survivors, what really happened.

Oh, I know. The only reason I qualified it with "sort of" is because--well, the fictional main characters and all.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

My suggestion is to make fun of what the movie producers got wrong and what they allegedly got wrong. For example, IIRC, one of the crew was shown in the movie blasting innocent passengers with a gun and Titanic histories don't believe he did such a thing.

Also, the smokestack falling on such-and-such a character was comedy gold.

[vladimirsever.livejournal.com]

Actually, the smokestack did fall on someone IRL -- think it was Ismay, even -- but they just changed the person to Fabrizio in an effort to integrate fictional characters better.

Damn, I did so geek out on Titanic back when the movie came out...

[ayn-rand-fan-13.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, the mighty mind-stimulating powers of *NSYNC. I can't hear them without thinking of camp, though my camp is probably also one of the only places left in America where the Spice Girls are still very cool.

[librisia.livejournal.com]

"we've hit that point in a really long movie where I start rocking back and forth and whimpering, "I can't do this! I can't do this!" .... Why does Titanic have to be so long? Whyyyy?"

I think you need to go with what you've got. Go off on the "Why does Titanic have to be so long? Whyyyyy?" tangent. Those of us who have never seen the movie would nod our heads and go,

*yep, that's why I never watched the bitch*

[kira002.livejournal.com]

Spot the Ioan. One of my favorite games. ::le sigh::