(no subject)

[cleolinda]

Aaaaaand once again we've hit that point in a really long movie where I start rocking back and forth and whimpering, "I can't do this! I can't do this!" It's very much an "I can't see the forest for the many, MANY trees" point. Why does Titanic have to be so long? Whyyyy?

Weirdly enough, from a parodist's point of view, I can actually deal with the first half of the movie. There is a distinct, delightfully clichéd poor-boy-meets-rich-girl story arc that isn't hard to outline. It's when the ship starts sinking that it turns into more of a "This is [sort of] what actually happened" narrative, and yeah, it's pretty gripping just by virtue of being true. I mean, of course the main characters in the foreground are fictional, but the real fascination of the second half of the movie isn't oh, woe, what will happen to Jack and Rose; it's the slow, rubbernecking horror of realizing that this is pretty much what really happened to several hundred people, and you're going to be sitting here watching everyone suffer nobly until the final catharsis (Titanic Heaven!). And that's great drama, but... that doesn't help break it down into easily satirized chunks. And don't even get me started on what the hell I'm going to do about the Little Old Couple of Pathos. Damn. If I didn't have rousing games of Spot the Ioan to break up the agony, I don't know what I'd do.

Anyway. This is also the point in my writing process, generally speaking, when the really bad pop music gets marched out. I'm talking... well, I'm talking that boy band that Justin Timberlake was in and I don't know how to spell, because it involves an asterisk or an ampersand or somesuch shit. DON'T ADD CRIMES COMMITTED AGAINST THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO MY SHAME, PEOPLE.

(Do enough people read Television Without Pity that I could put in a TWOP-specific Alias reference? Screw it, I'm gonna do it anyway. Ship Daddy!)



Oh, and be a dear and help out deadspeaker if you have a moment:

And so can you!
The LJ Sex Survey Meme 2005: Take it today!

Comments

[ciara-belle.livejournal.com]

N*SYNC

*shifty glance* Not that I went to one of their concerts or anything...

Ok, I did. But only because JC's cousin went to school with me!

And 'cause I thought the blonde one was hot.

[greensounds.livejournal.com]

*NSYNC?!

dammit, cleo, I thought I loved you, but now I'm not so sure.

EVERYONE knows the Backstreet Boys is where it's at. And if they don't, they're stupid. Hmmph.

[nore-fortuna.livejournal.com]

Are you thinking of NSYNC?

[andrealyn]

Mmm, Ioan. [/obligatory Ioan squee]

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

I remember the Pathos Couple! And yeah, the second half is depressing because that's more of the *actual* events instead of Corny Love Story, but I still couldn't help but come up with--

Pathos Man-- "Well, we get two minutes in the movie and now we're going to drown."

Pathos Woman-- "Anybody else think that our story would've been a heck of a lot more interesting than Jack and Rose's?"

Pathos Man-- "Me. What, you have to do silly dances and strip now to be part of a Grand Tragic Romance? Feh. Maybe we're lucky to only be in the movie for two minutes."

Pathos Woman-- "Agreed."

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm, Ioan.

just hit it

[taea-dol.livejournal.com]

with a big movie spoofer.critic.genius stick that you always carry with you and keep at it hun. it will be merveilleux when you are done and the millions of us out here (millions i say!) will all love it. as will your publisher i am certain!

you know, you do have certain umm.. fangirls (i like that word better than stalker, it just sounds... prettier?) who believe in you and TEH FUNNY ;)

cant wait to read it.

and JT's band was N*SYNC i believe... i'm a bit too old to admit it but not too old to lust after J's.. umm.. attributes ;)

have fun. remember the dolphins!

m

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

You say that like I don't also have "Everybody" on MP3, and like I didn't take algebra from Howie's aunt. : )

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

That'd be the one. I googled it and found N*SYNC, *NSYNC, N'SYNC, and so on, and just said, "Screw it." ; )

Re: just hit it

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, of course. By the way, the dolphins want me to tell you, "EEEH! HEEEHEHEHEH!"

[scarolinagrl.livejournal.com]

I think you're ok w/ the TWOP reference, if there's not enough fans out there who read that site, surely there's enough ALIAS/Victor G. fans who've seen the DVDs and would get it. The TWOP recapper did commentary on one of the Season 3 DVDs.

Oh, and it's officially a little star before the N in NSYNC, no spaces.

CLEO! I NEED YOUR HELP, HON!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nymphette_/]

can you check the last entry in my LJ?

http://www.livejournal.com/users/_nymphette_/146609.html

You're the only person I've had interaction with on LJ who might be able to help, and if you were the coolest fecking wench around, I'd never ask it.

nilo is one of you biggest fans - she linked me to you, back when you had like, only 200 friends ;) But GAWDDAMN she needs us...

I know the entry is long - but it's that serious. Life threatenbingly serious hon. And you're a crusader...

Re: CLEO! I NEED YOUR HELP, HON!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nymphette_/]

Ok - to freaked to typem I guess.

If you WEREN'T the coolest freakin' wench around...

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

The TWOP recapper did commentary on one of the Season 3 DVDs.

For real? That's awesome.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Ah, the Little Old Couple of Pathos, otherwise known as Ida and Isidor Strauss, otherwise known as the Adorable Old Couple of "Where you go, I go," otherwise known as the exact moment in Titanic where I start crying. 'Cause I'm cold on the fake romance but hopelessly attached to the real people. (Says the woman with the Titanic coloring book. I'm a sick bastard. :))

[greensounds.livejournal.com]

Oh gracious. You just gained fifty gazillion points. Good work, I wasn't expecting that.



Also (though I'm not in the business of parody writing so what do I know) since emotional bits tend to have music and move slowly, do you think it might be easier to be irreverent/cynical if you muted/fastforwarded during the touching parts?

ah..

[taea-dol.livejournal.com]

tell them i replied this:

Click click, clikety click eehh ehh EEhhEHEh, but not bob. bob is out for this one.

m

[nore-fortuna.livejournal.com]

The asterisk screws up my iPod, so I just type it as NSYNC. Besides the asterisk seems to sparkly for a music group name.

[scarolinagrl.livejournal.com]

Yep, Regina (Erin) did commentary on the Season 3 opener, "The Two". I haven't seen/heard her commentary, but lurk on the boards there and noticed the discussion of it.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, there will be minimal mocking of some of the really awful parts, although I did enjoy writing down, "Raise your hand if you're dead!"

Re: CLEO! I NEED YOUR HELP, HON!!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I knew what you meant. : )

Okay, you're going to have to help me out here, because my brain's fried with all the Titanic crap. I read the entry; what exactly do you need me to do?

Re: CLEO! I NEED YOUR HELP, HON!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nymphette_/]

Ask for anyone in you massive reach who has any authority in the medical community to leave a comment is it.

We might have both beat cancer, and lived freakishly similar lives, but that man of hers think it's just not that serious to take her to a different hospital!

*boggles*

I am so deeply in your debt hon. Bless you!

Re: CLEO! I NEED YOUR HELP, HON!!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Leave a comment about what? What does she need? A second opinion? A new doctor to visit? (Sorry, I'm hopelessly dense tonight.)

Re: ah..

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Ten-four.

Re: CLEO! I NEED YOUR HELP, HON!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nymphette_/]

Any opinion!

"DEM ARMY DOCS F***ING CRAZY! WORD!"

"OK - this woman is gravely ill. I am a nurse at Mount Blah-badoobie Hospital and SHE NEEDS BETTER CARE. PERIOD!"

"WHHHHHHHHYYYY isn't she demanding better care? Why isn't her husband outraged!"


the problem? Her husband either thinks she's not that seriously ill(and that possible. He's a man, so he suffers from incurable Y chromosome diseas...).

OR he's is unwilling to stand up to higher ranking 'doctors' to demand the treat her. I was in Alaska with them over new years... the sent her home from the ER with NOTHING. TWICE. SHe's been there 10 times in 6 weeks. STILL NOTHING!

The problem is that *SHE* can't raise hell b/c it may reflect back on him, since he's an officer. He can't either, really, for the same reason: Most Dr. are brought in at v. high ranks in order for the military tomatch pay in the civilian world - so dr. or not, they could riun his career if he got in their face. :(

He *MIGHT* however, be shamed into taking her to a different hospital. She's to out of it to demand it b/c he's leaving for Ira this summer, and they're newly married. :(