(no subject)

[cleolinda]

An interesting point has surfaced over and over again in comments to "Fifteen Minutes"-related posts. Basically, it boils down to the idea that I was clearly keeping this journal for myself and not for other people. At one point, someone said that the first "Fifteen Minutes" was funnier because I'd clearly written it for myself and my friends; someone else today said, "Unless you write your stuff in order to get fans... why on earth do you even care if people post it without giving you credit?" (ETA: I just wanted to step in here and add that I thought these were interesting and valid points, and worth discussing. In the second comment, I read that in context as, "Since you can't stop internet theft anyway, why get so bent out of shape about it unless you write to get fans?")

What surprised me was that in both cases, the commenters assumed I was not intentionally writing for a large audience. See, that's the thing people keep misunderstanding. I'm not keeping this journal only for myself. I was always writing it so that you would read it. I mean, when "VH in 15 Minutes" came out, I had a carefully nurtured friends list of about 150 people; God bless y'all, but "VH in 15 Minutes" was not written for my 150 "closest" friends. It was written in the hopes that it would be funny and people would like it.

That's the thing about all of my writing, and I think it's something you should take into consideration about yours--ask yourself why you keep the journal you do. I know that a lot of my real-life friends keep journals to keep in touch with each other; they post tidbits about their lives, fun things they saw online, etc., but they'd be a little startled if a stranger showed up and started commenting. I think a lot of people keep public journals for social reasons like that, whether they're open to making new online friends or not. But generally, if someone new to this whole "interweb" contraption puts intensely private thoughts out on the internet and is then shocked and dismayed to realize other people are reading it, what do they do? They lock the entry or take down the journal. What I'm saying is, I think a lot of us write for others more than we realize we do.

Maybe the difference between me and a lot of other diarists, then, is that I started this journal for the purposes of writing about my life for other people; that was the entire purpose. I'm not saying I thought my life was so terribly exciting that it deserved that kind of focus, and of course I'm writing for myself as well, but I write in this journal knowing and hoping that other people may want to read it. I aspire to be a professional writer, and it looks like I may be getting my wish. So that's what I do: I write for other people to read.

And you know what? Sometimes I do write only for myself, and for no one else. And you know what I do when I write only for myself? I don't post where you can read it. If it's only for me, it's under a private filter (or on my hard drive, or in a notebook, for that matter). If it's public, or under a semi-public filter, it's intended for other people to read. And I like knowing other people are going to read what I write about myself, because it forces me to be more honest, because I know you guys would call me out on any bullshit (and, on occasion, have). I think it helps me to become a better person, to see myself sometimes how other people may see me (and then to have the option to not give a shit, if that's what I want). Of course I write for myself in the sense that if I didn't honestly love writing, I wouldn't do it in the first place; if you dumped me on a desert island, I'd still look for palm leaves to start scratching on. But I also get a lot of pleasure from knowing that people enjoy my work; feedback also helps me improve it, and I wouldn't post if I didn't want to improve, either. I forget who said this--it may have been Invisible Girl--but while we may write for ourselves, we post and publish for other people, and there's no getting around that.

In a sense, wanting to publish is also a selfish impulse--I want to make enough money from writing that I can make a living without having to work a second job if at all possible, and that way I'll have more time to write. Because it is something I do for myself, and I know I'm not the only one who would like to make writing a vocation. (And actually, I do agree--I think "VH in 15 Minutes" was funnier because it was looser, and more playful, and not so concerned with duplicating a previous success; I'd like to get back to the feel of that one.) But just because you do something for yourself doesn't mean that you can't do it for other people, too--I think that's what a successful author-reader relationship is based on, that balance. Maybe that balance has gotten a little out of whack lately, and I need to tip it back towards the "writing for myself" end.

At the end of the day, what I'm saying is this: I wouldn't be writing this if I weren't doing it for myself. But you wouldn't be reading it if I weren't also writing it at least partly for you.

P.S. Here's the I-Girl entry I was thinking of.

Comments

[kohler.livejournal.com]

Do I smell a friends cut? >.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee, no. I think those were perfectly valid points to bring up, actually. I just finally realized that most people probably don't start a public journal as deliberately as I did--I just thought it was something interesting to discuss. :)

[kohler.livejournal.com]

Personally, I thought it was very interesting. But that's just me...and everyone else...*cough*

[lornyloo.livejournal.com]

and in those last two lines you summarised it perfectly. when people say 'you're blatently writing it funny, or in a certain way so people will read it and comment' I'm like 'yes and?' I write in my jornal because i like to write and i like writing to enertain others. I'm not an amazing writer, and my journal isn't that exciting but i write it for people to read ... and for some strange reason they seem to..

I was thinking this about icon making the other day, when i had just started I used to make lots of icons, and i was crap. No one used my icons but i kept making them, coz i loved making them. Now I'm a lot better, and half the stargate fandom have my icons, i still make them because i like making them, but i'm not going to deny that i love all the comments i now get.

that was a long winded way of saying 'here here' lol

[jonnorthwood.livejournal.com]

I've always felt that public journals were for public reading; conversely, I still can't for the life of me understand how anyone can feel that something is theirs for the taking merely because it's publically accessible.

A particular book may well be available at a library for anyone to peruse at no charge; however, this does not mean that anyone should feel free to copy from and/or plagiarize the entire work simply because 'anyone could read it already'.

Bah. I loathe people on occasion most of the time.

At any rate, I agree with your summation, and I hope you continue to make your 15M works available. I, for one, would be more than willing to pick up whatever writing you did: it's delightful.

[kohler.livejournal.com]

I love your icon.

ok

[jai-eu-froid.livejournal.com]

I enjoy reading your journal a lot....I guess it is almost....Inspirational!

I have always wanted to be an author since I first picked up the boxcar children from my big brothers room when i was five years old.

but since I am horrible at grammar (on-line because I am lame) and I am way too afraid of what people are going to think of me when I write down MY thoughts somewhere in a place where someone can find it (I can't even write in a notebook) I don't write down any ideas I have.

If you read my live journal you know that it is all a bunch of "o yeah my day was fun maybe some pics lol heather is a slut *jk*" I really don't care about writing that stuff at all, nor do I think anyone wants to read it anyway!

But it allows me to read everyone else's thoughts because I am a hypocrite *yes I think it is appropriate to say because I am saying I don't want others to read my thoughts but I love to observe and read others*


maybe I should just stick to psychiatry where I just observe people, but unfortunately I am afraid to say anything

Anyway, I like your journal because you are so not afraid of what others think in my honest opinion.

An authors work will always be swayed by their fans somehow; and if they are influencing you too much, you will come to a point where you will realize what it is doing to you and then stop caring which will allow you to write the best stuff ever!

good luck with your future in writing, and I am excited to see what you come up with!

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

I started the journal with the thought that it would be something amusing for my fans (once I acquired some) to read after they read my book and while they waited for the next one. I was going to link it from my website.

But then I started actually writing in the journal way before my book came out, because it seemed like a fun new toy, and now I still don't have a website but I have a bunch of people reading my journal, and they're a cool set of people. So I started mine as a sort of PR device, and it mutated into a friendly social thing.

[fanofall.livejournal.com]

Well, exactly. I was totally amazed when that poster wrote "why do you care if you put it out there anyway?" I mean, are you SERIOUS with that?

But I think I may have been more tripped out by the fact that she was expecting me to have been harshing on you and I wasn't and that pissed her off. That was... a little surreal.

[lornyloo.livejournal.com]

hehe thanks, i went through a Drucilla and Darla icon making stage a few weeks ago, gota ove the evil crazy gals

[illmantrim.livejournal.com]

bravo. You said here what I have said several times and I aplaud you for putting it down in such well written words.

[pygmymetal.livejournal.com]

"And you know what? Sometimes I do write only for myself, and for no one else. And you know what I do when I write only for myself? I don't post where you can read it."

Bingo.

;) Sometimes people are so freakin dense. They try to justify something by putting the blame on the victim. Assbonnets indeed. ;)

[rexmanning.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow, I wrote a whole entry about this after reading the I-Girl entry. Obviously my journal is a whole 'nother can of worms, I don't intend it for mass public consumption and I would be seriously weirded out if more than, say, 100 people were reading it, but it's something that I don't know that many people who have online journals these days think about, because it's become such a mainstream phenomenon.

I try to be funny, and interesting, my journal is good practice for learning to write for an audience, I don't know that it's taught me to be a better writer, but I've become a much better observer in the time since I've had it, if that makes sense.

I deleted my entry, because it was really self-indulgent, but I'm sure you get hassled, which is sort of insane. I guess the line between someone who just fools around on their little website, or to have a reason to write every day, and someone who is taking it seriously and can get a book deal out of it (!!!) is thin (I blame pamie.com)

[iczer6.livejournal.com]

"Unless you write your stuff in order to get fans... why on earth do you even care if people post it without giving you credit?"

Ooookaaay, did I miss the memo or sign that said it's okay to take credit for someone else's work?

What. An. Asshat.

I don't think it's about whether you're writing for yourself or for others, it's about respecting another person's work and realizing that just because it's posted on the internet that doesn't mean you should steal it and take credit for it.

Re: ok

[elbell137.livejournal.com]

I don't think you understand how relieved I am that you spelled "grammar" properly. I'm no grammar whore, but a little piece of me dies when people are talking about grammar and spell it absolutely horrifically wrong.

[elbell137.livejournal.com]

Rex Manning! Icon <3

[jai-eu-froid.livejournal.com]

asshat is such a great word

[kvschwartz.livejournal.com]

People who post other people's stuff without crediting should be publicly flogged. Upside down. In embarrassing granny underpants.

[kohler.livejournal.com]

Of course! That too is a lufferly icon.

Ah...how I long for the days of Old!School!BtVS.

[kohler.livejournal.com]

I like the way you think.

[lornyloo.livejournal.com]

old school buffy, with faith!

[highlystrung.livejournal.com]

What can I say but: Bravo. Once again exactly expressed. :)

Re: ok

[jai-eu-froid.livejournal.com]

haha I actually made an effort to learn how to spell grammar correctly awhile ago

Amen, sister!

[elbiesee.livejournal.com]

Okay, I read the post from the asshat (ah, what a word! It's now ingrained in my real-life lexicon...) that basically blamed you for some other asshat (wonder if they're related...) stealing your work. It was, in essence, asking a rape victim what she was wearing and what dark alley she was walking down.

Yes, you've made yourself mildly vunerable to some uncreative hickdeads using your stuff as their own. *ahem* IT DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT!!! Just because they 'can' doesn't mean they should. (Are you listening, Bill Clinton?!?)

And let me just say that if you ceased to do what you do, there would be a void in my life that would be very hard to fill. Now that I've scared you beyond belief...

If it makes you feel better, nobody reads my blog...

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think this is basically the entry I wanted to write after I read that I-Girl entry, and never got around to writing down. And I think a lot of people get journals because other people they know do, and they may not examine why they're really doing it. I mean, not that they have to have A Motive, but if they know why they really want to do it, it'll help them get the most out of the experience.

I guess the line between someone who just fools around on their little website, or to have a reason to write every day, and someone who is taking it seriously

I may need to write an entry about this, too. My theory is basically, if you want to be something, go ahead and act like you are that something. Not in a conceited way, but in a "doing the work and taking on the responsibilities" way. If you want to be a musician, don't just swan around the house acting like a big shot because you're in a garage band that rehearses once a month; really get down to the working and the practicing and the paid gigs. Do it instead of waiting to magically become a professional.

I'm not saying you should make your journal this big public thing; it should be what you want it to be. But I was inspired by people like Pamie and Sars too, and I said, look, if I want to be like them, I need to look at their sites and see why they're successful, and then do that in my own way. And go ahead and do it like a professional, and then eventually people will find it and maybe like it, and when they come, I'll be ready. :)