:D :D :D ow

[cleolinda]

I have been clenching my jaw today, apparently--if I knew I was doing it, I wouldn't do it!--so now I have an all-over skullache, BUT! More importantly!

First Look at Paul W.S. Anderson's Three Musketeers. Pictured: Mads Mikkelsen and Percy Jackson Logan Lerman. Opening in 3D on April 15, 2011, the action adventure also stars Matthew Macfadyen, Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, Christoph Waltz, Milla Jovovich, Juno Temple, Orlando Bloom and James Corden.

So I pretty much just pulled out my phone, went to the calendar app, and booked that weekend for a Fifteen Minutes. Come on. It has Orlando Bloom, Mads Mikkelsen and swords. There's no use pretending. It's going to happen.

(Related: Hot Toys' new Freakishly Lifelike Christoph Waltz.)

Meanwhile, two items of note from the Smart Bitches:

@SmartBitches: You Guys. Book title of the week: Hold me Closer, Necromancer. http://amzn.to/8ZUNgY

@SmartBitches: From JenD: The Team Bella t-shirt: http://bit.ly/9lCsk0

Hollywood Has Made a Whopping $7 Billion Off Vampires. For the handful of people in the world who haven't seen this macro yet: go look at the accompanying picture.

'Saw' Director James Wan to Helm Vampires-in-Prison Pic 'Nightfall.'

Jeremy Renner to Co-Star with Tom Cruise in 'Mission: Impossible 4.'

Jim Carrey's Gay Prison Flick is Finally Coming Out! So to speak. (Gay prison romantic comedy with Ewan McGregor, no less.) (Maybe if they were gay vampires in prison?)

Tron's Got G-G-G-Girls!? Poster.

'Julia's Eyes' Trailer: Going Blind is Creepier When Some Guy is Following You All the Time. OKAY SO I DON'T LIKE THIS AT ALL BECAUSE I HAVE A THING ABOUT EYES AND I REALLY DON'T LIKE THE PICTURE THAT GOES WITH IT MAYBE WE CAN GO SEE THE MOVIE WHERE JAMES FRANCO CUTS HIS OWN HAND OFF INSTEAD DO NOT WANT.

Three TV Spots for Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole.

Fantastic Fest to Literally Bury Moviegoers Alive for Crazy 'Buried' Event. I can't think of any way this would go horribly wrong, and neither can the lawyers with the ream of paperwork for you to sign first.

Does M. Night's Short Film with a Half-Naked Penthouse Pet Mark the Start of His Comeback? ...what?

Comments

[callmesyd.livejournal.com]

That Uwe Boll spot is... well, it sure is something.

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW HARD I LAUGHED WHEN I SCROLLED DOWN AND SAW THAT RACCOON. I LOVE HIM.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I think he should be the new eatspopcorn.gif.

[windancer.livejournal.com]

Honest to Pete, my boyfriend and I just laughed for about three minutes over that raccoon picture. EVIL GLEE.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I almost put it outside the LJ cut, but then I thought, no, people hate it when I do that. YOUR LOSS IF YOU MISS IT.

[beth-shulman.livejournal.com]

Oh gosh that picture on the vampires article HA! Also, seven billion?? It's a monument to America's poor taste. Or to their love for lulz, I haven't decided which yet.

And Christoph Waltz is amazing, but he's about to be typecast as the evil guy in everything, isn't he?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

He's also in--Green Hornet? Something. And Water for Elephants. I say get it, good sir.

[barrelgoddess.livejournal.com]

I LOVE THAT RACCOON SO MUCH. ♥ Oh god, I can't stop looking at it and laughing.

Even if that movie isn't any good, I will still want to see it, just for the eye candy. I mean, Matthew Macfadyen, Ray Stevenson, and bonus Orlando Bloom? Oh yes, please.

[hulamoth.livejournal.com]

I was unaware there were reasons to see The Three Musketeers besides eyecandy?

[cmattg.livejournal.com]

Nice to see (Re:3 Musketeers) the Hollywood Ratio of four men for every woman stays constant.

[beth-shulman.livejournal.com]

Ugh, this. You know, I'm almost starting to think that we do need August 26 to be "Women's Equality Day" - even though I thought it was outrageous when I first heard about it. It's like, get with the times, Hollywood.

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

I don't know if that raccoon has a name, but from now on, he shall be called Montgomery Burns Jr.

And I know Logan Lerman's hair is supposed to look like that, but still...it's unfortunate.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Fantastic Fest to Literally Bury Moviegoers Alive for Crazy 'Buried' Event. I can't think of any way this would go horribly wrong, and neither can the lawyers with the ream of paperwork for you to sign first.

You know, when the Mythbusters tried burying Jamie in a real coffin six feet under, they found that the coffin buckled under the weight of the dirt. I REALLY hope those guys have done their homework and specially reinforced the coffin.

[cat-eyed-fox.livejournal.com]

Awe, you're no fun! Come on, if we're going to do this let's do it right! And by right I mean kill the morons who agree to be BURIED ALIVE FOR A FREAKING MOVIE PROMOTION! Darwin award anyone?

[whoyouinvent.livejournal.com]

just wanted to comment sort-of-OT: you might be amused by the fact that at my screening of scott pilgrim, the new m. night movie previewed. everyone was pretty silent, and then when his name came up at the end, the entire audience burst into laughter. probably not what he was going for, but satisfying.

[babydraco.livejournal.com]

That happened at our theater too.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I have never heard the name Logan Lerman before this post. Now that I have seen that picture, I am sure I will not forget it. It may even be whispered by me in the dark, tonight, very late.

[hermione-like.livejournal.com]

The description of Hold Me Closer, Necromancer sounds so bad, and yet they got Sherman Alexie to write a blurb for the front cover. I AM CONFLICT.

[rabidrainbow.livejournal.com]

Every time I read that title, I start singing "Tiny Dancer" in my head.

~Hold me closer, necromancer~
It totally fits.

[morallydiseased.livejournal.com]

I laughed so hard at the evil raccoon of glee. It's now my facebook profile picture.

[la-donna-pietra.livejournal.com]

Public service announcement: I too had jaw-clenching problems a few months ago (work was crazy stressful, and I screwed up something very important). I got a special mouthguard from my dentist and wore it religiously morning and night for a week. My jaw stopped feeling as though it was going to come out through my skull. Huge improvement.

[gryphonmage.livejournal.com]

It's important to make sure your mouthguard fits properly, however. Mine is not good, and when I wear it every night, I get a thumping headache by the end of the day.

[sucrelefey.livejournal.com]

Something about those Musketeer costumes is bothering me already but I can't describe what it is other than, dude, why is there a 20 foot inseam?

[featherblade.livejournal.com]

I think the pants aren't baggy enough. Also, they're awfully mud-colored.

[cherrysakura5.livejournal.com]

That raccoon is plotting for world domination. The end is near! :P

Hold me Closer, Necromancer

I immediately thought of Edward Cullen and proceeded to laugh my head off.

[alpheratz.livejournal.com]

That Three Musketeers movie had better be good, and by "good" I mean "not depart from the book in any particular, but at the very least better than that fucking awful 1993 'adaptation'."

[all-ephemera.livejournal.com]

The Disney one, with Chris O'Donnell? I LOVE that movie. It's not in any way close to the book except the rough time period and the names, I'm sure, but by itself, I adore that movie.

[r-a-black.livejournal.com]

Does M. Night's Short Film with a Half-Naked Penthouse Pet Mark the Start of His Comeback? ...what?


Ahahahahahahaha

[rhoda-rants.livejournal.com]

Oh god thanks for the warning about the Eye-shot----eeeeaaaauauuugggghhhh!! *twitch, twitch*

Ironically, the trailer for that new M. Night movie looked pretty cool to me. If you haven't seen it yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aINOilb_Kzc

As for the Gay Prison Romantic Comedy--gee, it'd be nice if they could do this without turning it into a bad joke. Also, Takashi Miike did it already, without the comedy part: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/big_bad_love_juvenile_a/

[morganwolf.livejournal.com]

Evil Glee Raccoon smiles because he's going to make something bad happen. Smug Dog (http://caramboo.com/wp-content/gallery/test/smugdog_0.jpg) smiles because he's already done it.

[ruthisme.livejournal.com]

Smug dog is clearly an evil mastermind trapped in a dogs body.

[hopeandmemory.livejournal.com]

I'm going to confess that I freaked the fuck out when I saw that raccoon but only because I was chased into a city street by one last spring while picking up a pizza outside my dorm. Don't ever try to take pictures of local wildlife, they don't seem to like it very much. >_>

Mads looks AWESOME in his costume. That is an extremely ill-advised wig they've got on Logan, though... eeeeeeh.

[smadronia.livejournal.com]

how about a funny raccoon story to help relieve any stress from the being chased?

My grandparents re roofed their house with a metal roof. The garage roof butts up against the upper deck, where you can step over the railing and onto the garage.

The dog's food kept getting emptied, so my grandparents started watching for the culprit. one night they heard something, flipped on the light quick, and scared a huge raccoon. He took off onto the roof of the garage, made it halfway up to the other side, lost his footing, and slid down the roof like a slide, off the roof, and to the ground below. My grandparents said it was like a cartoon.

And for anyone worried about the raccoon, he was fine, and back a couple days later. He never tried the roof again though.

[ikel89.livejournal.com]

Hilarious pic!)
Is the new m15m going to be available on the lj comm? Because I'd hate to miss it, with all the Percy Jackson stuff)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

The only things I haven't put on the comm were the parodies in the book from five years ago, and they were all older movies.

[karintheswede]

Oh, I have such high hopes for The Three Musketeers. I'm inevitably going to be dissapointed, (always am when they adapt favourite books) but at least Mads Mikkelsen is easy on the eyes.

re: jaw clench, I do that too, and the night guard really does help with the headaches.

[deliciouspear.livejournal.com]

I love Mads Mikklesen so hard.

[lady-findel.livejournal.com]

Now I need to go see Julia's Eyes, because they apparently don't explain which degenerative eye disease she has and I need to know!

Also, if she has mine, I won't able to sleep after I have seen the movie.

[shebit.livejournal.com]

Oh dear Lord, Corden as Planchet?

Roy Kinear will always be Planchet to me.

Milla will make for a striking Milady.