The problem...

[cleolinda]

...with working for yourself (in this case, writing in a writerly writer-like fashion) is that it's task-oriented rather than time-oriented. You go to an office for a desk job (and, believe it or not, I have, in fact, had a couple of these) and maybe you're busy, or maybe you don't have a lot to do that day and you screw around on the internet all afternoon. You just have to be there from 8 to 5 (or whenever) and keep the desk warm, and maybe you have stuff to do--maybe you have too much stuff to do--but unless there's some urgent deadline and you maybe have to stay late, your ass goes HOME at 5 pm. Screw them, you're done until 8 am the next morning. (And this is doubly true for a service/retail job--which I have also had--because you can't exactly answer phones or ring up customers at home.)

With task-oriented work, you're either done or you're not. This is great when the task is small and you can be done by lunch and then do whatever the hell you want. O hai, I have finished reading these proofs, you wanna go to the Purple Onion? When the project takes weeks or months... you're kind of screwed. I mean, yes, you can set yourself a very disciplined schedule of 8 to 5 (or whenever) so that it's like you have a time-oriented job. But you'll be sitting there on Friday night or Saturday afternoon (cough) thinking, I really need the money. I'd really like this to be over with. What am I really doing here? Watching random true crime crap on the Investigation Discovery Channel? It's either this or go scrub the bathroom, really. And the other thing about task-oriented work is that you're not pulling in a regular salary; you don't work, you don't earn (ask my bank account). You feel guilty, like you don't have a real grown-up job like other people, unless you're visibly beavering away at something, unless you actually have a check in hand to show for it. So... work on the weekend it is.

The one good thing about this is that when you really have finished a huge project--say, a book--you are perfectly within your rights to take off--take off as much time as you want, or at least as much as you can afford. When I finished writing the Fifteen Minutes book--which took nearly a year and ran over at least three deadlines--I sat there for the month of June determined not to do A GODDAMN THING. Which is a great feeling, let me tell you. It's just... really not the feeling I get to have right now.

Comments

[not-tragedi.livejournal.com]

The feeling will come back. It takes time and unfortunately time is a pain in the ass to wait for. I work as a visiting hospice nurse and at the end of the week, I definitely feel the SCREWYOUDON'TCALLMEUNTILMONDAY feeling.

Here's hoping the feeling gets better soon.

[newroticgirl.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. Freelancer here. I have to declare guilt free days off once in a while (even have an LJ tag for it!) because I'm soooo good at guilt. I'm at the computer, I should be writing. Or looking for jobs. Or finding new places to send fiction. Or or or or.

[falenimortal117.livejournal.com]

Oh hell have I been there. You just always feel the "but I could be doing MORE!" issue becuase since your payment is oriented around how much you doi (as opposed to, as Cleo said, being there between certain hours), you never really get that "Ahh...I'm DONE for the week!" relief.

Stupid guilt.

I hope this project goes smoothly for you, Cleo!

[edda.livejournal.com]

This is the one good thing about my current job. I'M HERE I'M ANSWERING THE PHONE I'M DONE DON'T BUG ME. That's about it.

*hugs*

[soleta-nf.livejournal.com]

The advice I have heard (and take it with a grain of salt, because I do NOT do this, though I really should) is to break down a big goal into small tasks, and then make smaller goals ("I will get 2 tasks done per day"), so that your O hai, I have finished reading these proofs, you wanna go to the Purple Onion? situation *can* happen when you're doing a bigger project.

Of course, that requires dedication, too, to try figure out what tasks all encompass a bigger project. And when I've done that, I've gotten frustrated to see how long something is surely going to take me. But I think it sounds like a good way (the only way?) to work at home with no set beginning-and-end time, and not drive yourself crazy.

Anyway, good luck!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, today is "finish the relatively minor revisions to POA footnotes." Last night was "reread whichever parts of whichever books to remember what the hell happened."

[lylassandra.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, my mom describes housewifery the same way. It's a series of constant tasks that you really *should* be doing, and even though you can get them done fine tomorrow, you still occasionally feel a) guilty for not having them done today, and b) overwhelmed by the fact that you'll never, ever get them all done and *be* done.

At least this project will *be* done eventually, and will be seized upon with glee by your glorious sea of wildly enthusiastic fans, right? (Yes, that description is as over-the-top as I could get it without more caffeine.)

[last-haven.livejournal.com]

I feel exactly like this--and not a lot of people understand it. It's nice to know I'm not the only one to feel like that now and then.

[sherrilina.livejournal.com]

ITA. I don't know if I could ever do independent work like a book because my time-management skills are the suck....I'd be afraid of screwing around too much each day....it's a little different if you have to go into the office or whatever though.

[jwaneeta.livejournal.com]

It can take a while to get the hang of this -- and to learn to turn off the guilt when you are off the clock.

It's a good idea to try to keep on a schedule -- 8 to 5 or 9 to 6 or whatever. Another way is to work full out until you hit the wall and start doing junk. Then just down tools and remind yourself firmly that junk will only have to be reworked the next day, so it'simperative to knock off for the day. :)

I don't know about you, but I find interruptions, errand running and suchlike to be death. If I have to drop everything and slog across town to an appointment in the middle of the day, I probably won't get back in the zone when I return. So I try to get all my foodstuffs in line for meals ahead of time, schedule appointments for super early or the end of the day, and do chores early in the morning before I sit down to work. (Or fill the dishwasher at 9pm, which is sad.)

It's only in the last few years I realized how valuable focus is, and how easily it's lost. Even the actual work is easier, goes faster (and is even occasionally *gasp* pleasurable) when all the up-down-take-out-the-trash-pay-bills-run-to-FedEx stuff is neatly compartmentalized outside of work hours.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this is why I get so pissy when people interrupt me, and the more pointless the interruption, the pissier I get. I lost my train of thought for THAT?

[eofs.livejournal.com]

Or you opt for work which is both time oriented and task oriented, and get to have crazy stress because you're working to two immoveable deadlines every single day argh why don't other people realise I need this information now stresstressarghstress and what the hell are you doing emailing me that at 7:02pm when that is obviously, blatantly 30 minutes too late.

*Breathe*

I do genuinely love my job, but I still sometimes wonder how crazy I must be to have picked it ;0)

[angevin2.livejournal.com]

I'm working on my dissertation and I generally feel guilty about sleeping, these days.

[bibliotech.livejournal.com]

There need to be some "how to get off your ass and get motivated" guidebooks or something, because I am SEVENTEEN PAGES behind where I want to be, and the gap seems so wide now that I'm feeling less and less enthused by the second.

[celestinenox]

NaNoWriMo: The Great Motivator.

[guinevere33.livejournal.com]

This sounds exactly like being fairly far along in grad school. God, I HATE being my own boss!

[celestinenox]

One has to be very highly motivated to do such work and be successful at it, which I have no doubt you are. :) You can do it!

::is the general cheerleader for the post::

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

I was trying to think of a way to say just that, so - THIS. You can be the cheerleader, I'll be the mascot.

[mysticowl.livejournal.com]

It's either this or go scrub the bathroom, really.

It's funny you should say that. When I was doing my publishing diploma, one of the instructors (they are all still in the industry) said that writers have the cleanest houses because they will clean to avoid writing.

[lotusbiosm.livejournal.com]

My mother does laundry to avoid grading papers. It's kind of hilarious.

[flaxenescapee.livejournal.com]

I don't know, I've always had that niggling "the work is NEVER DONE" feeling even with those 8 - 5 jobs. =/

Rest assured, though, your job is pretty awesome. You get to use your talents in a way that's fulfilling. This is what we all dream of, right?

[shesnotallthere.livejournal.com]

As someone else mentioned, having a pretty rigid schedule works brilliantly for a lot of authors. Stephen King is the first one to come to mind, with his "2000 words a day come hell or high water" method.

I think one of the hardest things for any writer to come to terms with is that fact that writing, when done for money, is WORK. It's often unpleasant and there's usually something else you'd rather be doing, just like any other job.

[katharhino.livejournal.com]

'Tis true, and then top of feeling guilty for not doing it, you feel guilty for not WANTING to do it. "I have my dream job – why do I feel like slacking off still???"

I'm a freelance designer not writer, but same thing applies.

[munin-and-hugin.livejournal.com]

Writing as your main (or only) source of income is difficult job, I think. I also get how weird, at times stressful, and guilty feeling having a non-usual job comes with.

BTW: did you happen to see this on amazon? http://www.amazon.com/Twilight-Bella-Edward-Lunch-Thermos/dp/B001TLOH1W/ref=sr_1_466?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1252785758&sr=1-466

[mellie.livejournal.com]

Hi, I saw your twitter message on comparable products to Scrivener. I'm not sure if you saw, but they had links here (http://www.literatureandlatte.com/links.html) that they recommended for windows products.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Thanks! The first two actually look pretty interesting.

[gorgeousnerd]

The difficulty I have isn't in writing, but editing. When I'm writing, I can give myself specific word counts, or even time trials, and that means I can work at least a little every day. With editing, just looking at my to-do list gets me swamped.

I'm getting so frustrated with getting in the zone on the project I'm editing right now that I'm thisclose to cleaning my house top to bottom.

[gwyndolaeth.livejournal.com]

well said, as usual. this sort of thing is exactly why i have had such a hard time getting into the right frame of mind to really get my etsy store going. it was always "well shouldn't i be cleaning or fixing up [insert house-related thing here]?" or "shouldn't i be focusing on trying to find a better job/find work?"

it's easy to let the tricky task of time management psych you out of getting shit done. i am very happy to hear, though, that you are coming along well on your various projects, despite all the aggravations you and your family have had lately. :)

P.S: i was sans internetz for about a week, and the only thing i really missed was reading your blog. thanks again for sharing your thoughts and cracking me up for several years running.

[xerinmichellex.livejournal.com]

I'm going through the same thing, too, Cleo. Most people don't realize how discipline you have to be when it comes to being a writer (or working for yourself). I can't tell you how many times I've gone off task and not realized it until it's the evening and I've got half a sentence on my computer screen glaring at me.

Speaking of, I really should stop farting around on the internet and get back to my manuscript.

[newbia.livejournal.com]

Oh my God, I know exactly what you mean! My dad doesn't understand why I'm willing to get a job working as a waitress or something, but I'm not willing to make a huge database that he needs for his business. That's because being a waitress is a time-oriented job, but making a database is an involved task and thus would be a lot more stressful.

[newbia.livejournal.com]

PS: It helps a lot to do your task outside of the house. For example, I get all my work done in the library. Since the library is open from 10 am to 9 pm, it feels like a time-oriented job.

[azalaea.livejournal.com]

Dear holy God do I know what you mean. Oh hi, 170,000 words of not-the-fuck-finished. It's 1.15 am here and I'm working out how much I can hope to get done in the next 1-2 hours with and without coffee.

[greedyskunk.livejournal.com]

We had a scheduled power outtage at work two weeks ago. I decided to try working from home instead of using a vacation day. I really should have used the vacation day. I felt guilty, so I stayed at the computer all day. And I accomplished A LOT. I rewrote one policy and finally beat Spider Solitaire using four suits. XD For me, working from home has a ton of perks (no annoying coworkers!), but getting work done doesn't seem to be one of them.