(no subject)

[cleolinda]

Holy crap, the news just said something about the Secret Service and Homeland Security stopping an 18-wheeler on the road somewhere in town.

ETA: An interesting Salon article on this national phenomenon where everyone's talking about the Salem Stalker plotline--even people who aren't watching the show--thanks to the bizarro commercials NBC runs 24/7. Get a free day pass to read it.

Sunny Salem square. Shawn isn't answering the phone when Bo calls. Bo posits that he may not even know that Marlena is dead. Bo adds to Hope that the horror isn't over until Victor's killer is caught, and Nicole is suspect #1. Hope wonders if they'll ever have enough evidence to charge her.

Chez Kiriakis. It's Crystal! Hi, Crystal!

House of Bitch. Lucas says Will is spending the night at Grandpa Sean's. Nothing can cheer Sami up. Lucas asks her out to dinner. JUST DOOOO IT.

Basic Black. Kate gazes at a picture of Lucas. John talks to a sympathetic young receptionist. Kate has stayed up and done the reports for him. My God, WORK IS GETTING DONE! Kate and John have thrown themselves into work after the deaths ("deaths") of their respective spouses. Kate says they will help each other ("help each other") get through it.

Bizarro Salem. Marlena remembers falling through the depths of hell (or the core of the Earth, I dunno) and running into Alice. She wakes up in a chair in--what, a happy tropical version of the penthouse? I'm not sure. She hugs a nearby Alice all over again. Is it me, or is the--no, it's definitely not me, the opening music is different. A little more triumphant and orchestral. Commercials.

House of Bitch. Sami doesn't want to go out to dinner, has right to grieve, leave her alone, etc. Lucas: WOMAN, JUST GO TO THE OLIVE GARDEN WITH ME. Lucas threatens to call his mom and hang out with her instead. Ew, Lucas. Don't blackmail women into going out with you by using your mom, dude.

Kate's office, Basic Black. Kate and John hit the booze. What is Basic Black, anyway? I've only been watching this since, oh, say, last August, and I've never seen any work actually get done there. John tells Kate about the "Premature Burial" bit. Way to go, John--she'll never let Sami forget about that. John recaps how Marlena Could Not Possibly Be Alive.

Editing of Irony, Tropical Paradise. Alice: "You must have so many questions!" NO. SHIT. Marlena thinks she's still in her casket hallucinating, and tries to wake herself up, because she is A MORON. (Seriously? If you're buried alive and slowly asphyxiating and you magically wake up in a tropical paradise--WHY DO YOU WANT TO REGAIN CONSCIOUSNESS?) Marlena flashes back to killing Alice. Alice points out that she's still alive, and insists that Marlena didn't kill her, and that Marlena didn't die. Flashback: Marlena is dramatically shot and dies in John's arms. Well, starts dying, anyway. Marlena tells Alice what happened, and how it was the most horrible few hours of her life, and that there was a funeral, and yet Marlena is talking to Alice right now, and COULD WE PLEASE STOP TREADING WATER AND GET TO THE EXPLANATIONS! Marlena asks how she got from Salem Place to Alice's house (so that's where we are). Voice: "I carried you!" Marlena: "Oh! Is it! No! Really! Yay!" Woman, just turn around and look, okay? It's Roman, in a hilarious red Hawaiian shirt, standing at the window beaming at her. Marlena pulls her hair with joy. No, really. Commercials.

The One Fancy Restaurant in Salem. Sami reminisces how the last time they were there, a DiMera gang tried to have her killed. What? Oh, look, it's Bo and Hope out for dinner, too! This will not end well. There is some random scene with a middle-aged woman asking her son why he can't find a nice woman like Hope (or maybe Sami--I wasn't looking at the screen just then), and the guy says, in this totally faaa-bulous tone, "Oh, I've already found the perfect woman, Mom!" The hilarity is matched only by the randomness, I swear.

Chez Kiriakis. Nicole snippily introduces Crystal to Brady as a porn star and reminds her that Brady is her step-grandson. "You two should work together," enthuses Crystal, "the grandson-grandmother angle is hot." *Luff.* Nicole starts dragging Crystal to the door, at which point Crystal demands that Nicole recognize, or she'll spill her involvement in Marlena's death. Brady overhears Marlena's name and, as is his wont, pops up and goes, "Say what?" Commercials.

Basic Black. John worries about Sami. Kate badmouths Sami. John wants to keep an eye on her, and says that she's "in good hands" (i.e., Lucas), and Kate explodes. Kate recaps how she promised Roman to "bury the hatchet" with Sami, and that she hasn't, and she's afraid that Roman is "up there looking down and judging me." John assures her that Roman would understand. They discuss what the afterlife might be like (I think John alludes to a previous point in the show when he was a priest) and John insists that Marlena is in heaven. Kate points out that Marlena and Roman might be in heaven together, and John asks jealously if Kate's jealous.

Speak-of-the-Devil Editing, Bizarro Salem. Roman says something really weird about "the stuff they gave us to simulate death." Marlena remembers killing Roman. If this is going to turn into some bizarre meta thing about the soap-writer-as-God, I'm going to scream. Marlena, tearfully: "Oh.... OH... OHHHH...I know what's happening here." Share with the rest of the class, please. Commercials.

(You know what's going to be really odd? When Marlena runs into Bizarro Tony. Didn't she really hate him? You can tell I'm relatively new to this, can't you?)

Passions commercial: Sheridan and Luis! Back together! Again! For the third time in eight months!

Chez Kiriakis. I was interrupted here, but I come back to hear Crystal nattering on about Attack of the Seven-Foot Sexpot and "how hard it is to get into those art house pornos." Crystal fabricates a bunch a shit for Brady's benefit about raising money for a fund for her old psychiatrist Marlena. And she wants Nicole to match her funds. NOW.

The One Fancy Restaurant in Salem. Lucas is trying to steal Sami's steak fries and feed them to Sami with the whole "airplane" method. Sami: Dude, we have a four-year-old, but it ain't me. Sami jokes that maybe aggravation is what's been missing from their relationship: "Make me mad!" Lucas offers instead to dance. Sami disses Chloe randomly ("Maybe that's why there's no one on the dance floor--Chloe Lane is up next!" Lucas: OH SNAP). They get up to dance. They are so going to run into Bo and Hope, I can't even tell you. Hope says she feels bad celebrating so soon after tragedy. Bo opines that Marlena's death was inevitable, and he wants to remember her as a loving friend. Well, that's big of him. Hope kisses him and thanks him for the sentiment. Lucas dips Sami, and she spies--Bo and Hope. OH, BIATCH, IT'S ON. Sami charges Bo and tries to slap him, but Bo grabs her wrist. Commercials.

Basic Black. Kate: "Jealous? Of my dead husband and your dead wife?" Uh, yes, that's what the man said. Kate rambles about Marlena's confession and her whole "I loved Roman too much" motivation. John expresses his eternal confusion on that point, and Kate apologizes for her insensitivity. Blah blah angsty blah. They end up going for dinner, as the camera focuses on a photo of Roman.

Bizarro Salem. Marlena has decided that this is her eternal punishment. Roman denies this. Alice says, "Oh! Maybe she'd like a donut!" Marlena: "NOOOOO! I KILLED YOU WITH DONUTS!" Alice decides to be dense and ask why she'd offer Marlena donuts if Marlena had killed her. "BECAUSE THIS IS A TERRIBLE TWISTED DREAM!" cries Marlena. Roman decides it's time to tell Marlena something shocking: "Are you ready for the truth?" YES, DAMMIT! Commercials.

Chez Kiriakis. Nicole sends Brady off for water and aspirin from the butler. "You've got some butler action goin' on? Groovy!" cries Crystal. "Well, I'll go ask our bitchin' butler for some aspirin," Brady says, oozing with sarcasm. Oh, and apparently Crystal lied about having a kid. And she wants a room in the mansion.

The One Fancy Restaurant in Salem. Bo insists they were toasting Marlena's memory, and that he did not kill Marlena, and he called the shoot-to-kill order off. Lucas tries to hustle her away, but fails to before Sami declares that she blames Bo for everything. Exit Bo and Hope. Back at their table, Sami declares that Bo is not even a Brady, just Victor's bastard son. "Only one thing could make this night worse for me!" she proclaims. Enter John and Kate. Sigh. Commercials.

Chez Kiriakis. Brady returns. Crystal is delighted to discover that they have a cook, and she will love living here! She asks Brady to show her to her "deluxe accommodations." Brady: "Uh... sure... I'll show you to... a guest room."

The One Fancy Restaurant in Salem. Lucas tell Sami to stay away from sharp objects. Heh. John and Kate approach the table. Kate makes the mistake of saying that they just want to look after Sami like her mother and father would have wanted. Sami declares she's glad her parents are dead (Gasp! Shock! No!), because now they'll be together in heaven forever.

Bizarro Salem. Roman: "Everything that happened back in Salem was a lie. Lots of things were an illusion. Some things still are. This isn't Alice's house, for example. Someone has built an exact replica of Alice's house and put Alice in it." Salem has been reconstructed and populated it with the residents of Real Salem. If this involves Stefano, I will not be happy. Marlena realizes that this means she didn't kill anyone, and everyone's still alive. She starts freaking out with joy. Seriously, Deirdre Hall is hilarious when she freaks out--there's something so grandma-esque about it.

Previews. Marlena has fainted in Roman's arms. Lexie thanks someone for something, I didn't catch who (damn keyboard not being in front of the TV). Kate and John talk about something at The One Fancy Restaurant in Salem. Sami gets a call--"Brandon?"

Comments

[muruch.livejournal.com]

You know, of all the ridiculous and contradicting plots in the show now, the thing that baffles me the most is why Brady never wears a shirt, even in the most inappropriate scenes. Other than the suit at Marlena's funeral, the boy's chest has been exposed 24/7 for the past year. :p

ps. I love your recaps!

[marcimellow.livejournal.com]

I totally agree! Like yesterday, when I was talking to my friend (who had already seen that days show) she asked me what part we were at and I told her Brady just put on his shirt! I was amased!

I also like when John came to the house and he told Brady to get dressed! That was funny

[sprunkle.livejournal.com]

Passions is worse. Oh, so much worse:
Two brothers argue over the woman they love, shirtless.
Eight guys are randomly dancing in a club, shirtless.
And soon I hope that Tabitha will turn the townsmen into hordes of SHIRTLESS zombies.

[hawleygriffen.livejournal.com]

Boy, I wish Passions was shown where I am.

[tesria.livejournal.com]

"Oh.... OH... OHHHH...I know what's happening here."

I swear that for a second there I thought she was having an orgasm.

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

Me too!! Hah. That was great.

[marcimellow.livejournal.com]

I totally hope that it is Stefano related!! That man isn't dead and will never die dammit!! I remembered last night that the last time he was alive was on a island.... (so my mind tried to work this out in my head and then my ears started bleeding from my brain breaking itself) that it could be the island that Stefano "died" on...
shit dude.. I think we are all thinking WAY too much into this

[cpip.livejournal.com]

I stare with slack jaw. TELL me you're inventing this, and this stuff ISN'T really on TV... *stare*

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I cannot tell a lie, my friend.

Okay, I totally can, but do not happen to be lying at this particular moment in time. You should have seen the Thanksgiving show where Marlena's alien/twin "daughter" Cassie (gave birth to, but was not actually the genetic mother of) fell out of a pinata, dead. Or the one where she "killed" Alice with donuts. Or, hell, any of the demonic possession episodes from--what, the late '80s? Early '90s?

It's like the worst movie you ever loved, and it's on *every day.*

[maybethistime.livejournal.com]

Oh, the demonic possession episodes were the best. When Marlena had scrawled "Help me!" on her stomach, oh God, I don't remember when I've laughed so hard.

[cpip.livejournal.com]

...I continue to stare in awe, and am convinced that these people have David Lynch strung up in a back room somewhere violently coupling with the corpse of Ed Wood, that they produce such ideas!

[palmetto.livejournal.com]

I know that there was another demonic possession storyline in 1995 or 1996. It was The Big Thing back when I was actually watching Days. XD

I'm tempted to start taping it again, though.

[baggers.livejournal.com]

Mid 90s! I'm sad to say that the possession storyline was what got me really into Days in the first place. That was when John was a priest. Well he was trying to work out his past (this was about the second out of about five times he's "discovered his past") and he thought he had actually been a priest back in the day. Cut to 3 years later, in the Hope/Princess Gina storyline, and turns out, nope, he had just been pretending back in the day. Which makes me wonder about the whole possession thing.

And Brandon! Hurrah! Just in time to screw up Sami/Lucas.

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

Thanks to your recaps, I actually know what my mother is talking about now.

Now here's my question for you: What kind of drugs do you think Jim Reilly is on? I'm voting for acid... baaaaaaad acid.

[almostnever.livejournal.com]

OMFG, I think I just became addicted to your summaries of this cracktasticness. A replica of the town? The hell, man?

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

So, ummm, this is a TV show... I got that much... but what TV show? Sounds pretty weird.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Days of Our Lives--soap opera on during the day.

[jesshelga.livejournal.com]

Lucas: WOMAN, JUST GO TO THE OLIVE GARDEN WITH ME.

I'm laughing because it's TRUE! Seriously, between saying "Just GO" and "Just KISS," what else can the audience say about the Lumi scenes? Oh, yeah, "Sami, it's not ALL about John."

And Deidre doing joyful at the end of the show reminded me of the Bugs/Daffy/Elmer cartoon where Bugs tells Elmer it's baseball season, and Elmer throws a nutter. Deidre + giddy = cartoonish crazy, apparently.

I can't believe you've got me watching this show again. Gah.

[seablues.livejournal.com]

LOL! If I had to chose between watching the show, and not reading these recaps, or never watching the show again, and being able to read these recaps, I'd chose the latter. :)

Marlena's happy little jig at the end really kinda freaked me out.

Also, I find the new opening music to be rather annoying.

[earthgoddess.livejournal.com]

I thought I was imagining that. I'm glad to get some confirmation that there is, indeed, new music. I don't like it either. hahah. I'm just glad I wasn't mis-hearing.

thanks,
Gaea

[seablues.livejournal.com]

Haha! I thought there was just something wrong with my T.V. the first time I heard it. The second time, I was like, WTF is this crap? Today was the first day I've heard the opening credits in all its entirity, and it really grated on my ears.

[earthgoddess.livejournal.com]

hehe. that's what they're doing on the island. Obviously they are on some kind of crack and are playing with xylaphones. they recorded it, and poof! new opening. it was pretty bad.

[seablues.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! And instead of that hourglass at the beginning, they can have the "un-dead Salemites" maybe have a conga-line across the screen or something. :)

[seablues.livejournal.com]

Also, that dude at the resturant with his mom was hilarious. :)

[(Anonymous)]

Where did that guy come from anyways?? It was so random, it was HILARIOUS!!! Anyways, I just stumbled onto this because of Troy in Fifteen Minutes (lmao, I swear to God... never laughed so hard til I read Van Helsing). Because I was subjected to Days of Our Lives as a child, I love reading these recaps. I think the whole town is on some form of drugs..... And can we PUH-LEEZE buy Brady a shirt and give Sami a friggin clue?!?!

By the way- when the hell did Will become an 11- year old?!?! I remember back in the day Will and Phillip had the same Nanny and were always in the nursery together. WTF? Now there are at least 10 years between the two???? Damn.....

[seablues.livejournal.com]

I personally love Sami, but lately, I just want to slap her until she has some sense knocked into her, so it could take a while.

I know, soap kids are like dogs. They age 7 years for each human year. :)

I am always shocked whenever Brady has a shirt on. He usually always takes it off during the same scene, so it's kind of moot. :D

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

Surprisingly, I think Will's the only soap kid on there right now who isn't TOO far off in actual age. I mean, he was only born like a year after Belle, if not before her. Sami's probably, what, like 27? 28? She had him when she was a teenager, and jealous of her sister and mad at her mom for fornicating with John (when they conceived Belle), so Lucas cheered her up by doing her right nice.

[genetic-sneer.livejournal.com]

The guy was played by um Ross the intern (don't know his last name), who's on Leno. I wasn't even looking at the tv, I recognized that voice!

[katcat.livejournal.com]

Please, please, please tell me the Big Twist was NOT that they built another Salem?

*ducks down in fear of what she's about to hear*

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, there is another Salem, but since Marlena had to fall through the core of the earth to get to it... God, I hope that isn't one of those random things they show and then pretend never happened and just go, "Oh, yes, we built Bizarro Salem in Tahiti, why do you ask?"

[katcat.livejournal.com]

So that IS the Twist? Well...wait... falling through the earth has gotta count for something on this show.

I'm Bizarro Alice. I'm regular Alice.

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

The guy Lexie was smoochin on was Tek the Wonder Spy. You know, the OTHER black character.

Deidre Hall is my overacting hero right now. Her look of sheer terror when they offered her donuts was fabulous.

I'm thinking probably Stefano related, which would be good because I kinda miss him. I miss Tony more, though. I loved that guy, even before he "died" the first time many years ago. (He "killed himself" and framed John for it.) I did a jig the day I figured out he was coming back from the grave (because these things are so easy to figure out beforehand; if nothing else, soap writers were there for "foreshadowing" day in creative writing class).

If not Stefano, I'm thinking Ernesto Toscano. But I bet you don't know who that is.

Yes, I've been watching since I was 5. *hangs head in near shame*

[gracefallson-me.livejournal.com]

i am glad someone else recognized the difference in the theme song. it seems more upbeat. i hate it when they change shit. leave it alone. great recap btw.

[lumaria.livejournal.com]

The guy in the random "I love you, Mom" scene was some guy from The Tonight Show, I think...but I can't for the LIFE of me figure out why he was on there. Frankly, I'm sick and tired of NBC using Days and Passions as advertising vehicles for their less-than-famous stars (can we say Rocco's dinner for Rex and Mimi?!)

Up next, Omarosa from "The Apprentice" on Passions, or "Shoot Me Now, Please: The LuMaria story".

[meinnim.livejournal.com]

Marlena: "NOOOOO! I KILLED YOU WITH DONUTS!"

Ahahahahaha! That is all.

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

*blinks*

Hi. You don't know me, but I find you to be funny as hell, and the first paragraph of this entry leads me to believe we share a state. Due to this combination of factors, you're getting friended. Okay?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Rock. (I'm in Birmingham, AL, if that helps.) :)

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

Whee! (Tuscaloosa here. I knew it! I mean, how many eighteen-wheelers can Homeland Security stop in one day?)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

God, I hope not too many. What happened with that, anyway? I didn't get to follow up on that story.

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

Not a clue. I kinda figured it was drugs. Does Homeland Security handle drugs? (Well, an eighteen-wheeler full they might...)

[nirakh.livejournal.com]

Hi all!

I got hooked on Days when Marlena was possessed by the devil some years ago.
What’s currently happening now is boring me to tears that Nancy have just emitted to Craig that Chloe is her actual daughter, John running around still felling the side effects off being Soldier Black, Bo and Hope just bought a house, Stefano wants his daughter Lexi to adopt a baby but her hubbie isn’t too keen on that and Sami and Lucas is fighting over custody of Will. That’s it so far.

Since I live in Sweden and we don’t get things here until like 200 years after they’ve been shown in USA, I just received my biggest Days update ever. But it left a few questions – hope you don’t mind me asking them.

My questions...
Will is 11 years old?? *damn*
Aren’t John and Marlena married still?
Kate married Roman?? What happened to that old impotent guy? I’m still confused to where her young, hot, almost lover gone to. Does he make a reappearance?
What happened to Hopes baby and who was/is the father?
Lucas and Sami friends again? Vuz´up wit dat?
Tony is back again?? *hilarious*
Isn’t Lexi married anymore?
Where did Brandon go?
Did he turn out to be Abrahams son? *ha ha*
Who is shirtless Brady?
"I remember back in the day Will and Phillip had the same Nanny and were always in the nursery together. WTF? Now there are at least 10 years between the two???? Damn....."
I say the same, WTF????? They where in the same nursery? Don’t remember that... But they didn’t show much of baby Philip... I do remember Belle being like 5 yrs when Marlena and John got hitched and by the time they got back from their honeymoon she was 15. :/
Ok, biggest question coming up:

STEFANO IS DEAD??????? Vut? Vut?? Eh?

Opsy, those weren’t a “few” questions... LOL
I would be ever grateful to anyone who spared the time to answer them.

“Boy, I wish Passions was shown where I am.”
Me too. Only time I ever heard of Passions (except here) were on Buffy when Spike all tied up in a chair and screams out to the kitchen where Giles is;
“Passions is on! Timmy’s down the bloody well and if you make me miss it I’ll-”
“You’ll what? Lick me to death?”
LOL

And Cleolinda, loved Van Helsing in fifteen minuets, especially;
The vampire chicks save the carriage, except that the brunette one isn't strong enough and flies away, and the redhead chick is totally gutted by a stake bomb inside when it hits the ground, because it was... wait, what?
ROTFLMAO!!!! What was that all about? Really? Nothing Not much in that film was remotely believable and I’m glad I was a bit tipsy when I saw it. Me and my friends laughed like crazy outside the cinema.


Take care all,
/Karin