True story

[cleolinda]

Guys, my mother just found my phone in the washing machine. I washed my phone. I have no phone because I washed it.

Reader, I confess, I started laughing really hard. She looked like she wanted to throttle me.



ETA: I've told you how we bought the Geek Squad contract and my mother's so in love with the concept of the Geek Squad and how they will come fix everything and Make It All Better? Finally I said, look, just CALL THEM, whatever, I just washed MY PHONE, I DON'T CARE. So while she does that, I check my email, I read the news, I finally read the Best Buy: Geek Squad Gouges article at The Consumerist. Not FIVE MINUTES LATER, she storms in and announces that the Geek Squad 1) can't get here until August 31st which is 2) the same day as my dentist appointment (I started laughing hysterically at that point, just because: COME ON NOW, REALLY) and 3) they want to charge us $145 to come out and, essentially, look at the thing and maybe load Microsoft Office. "I THOUGHT THAT THE POINT OF THE CONTRACT WAS FOR THEM TO COME OUT AND FIX THINGS BECAUSE WE HAD ALREADY PAID THEM WHAT IS THIS WHY DID WE EVEN GIVE THEM ANY MONEY IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF THE CONTRACT??????????" she capslocked.

Apparently as the call was ending, whoever she was talking to asked if she had received good customer service. My mother paused for a long, long time. "You were very nice to me on the phone," she said finally.



ETA: Y'ALL, MY MOTHER'S CAR IS DEAD. She went out to the garage just now and it was just cold as a stone. Wouldn't even make a noise. "It's either the battery or the alternator," she said. But she doesn't know WHY--she didn't leave anything on to run it down. I couldn't stop laughing, in that "I have no other response left" way--well, I stopped when I realized she was near tears. "And I don't have Triple A anymore, because we couldn't afford it," she said. "I am just so tired. I am just so tired of life."

I'm afraid to stay in this house today, y'all. I don't know what's going to happen next.

Comments

[trinastar.livejournal.com]

First Thing: Geek Squad - good idea on paper and for first day in store setup stuff, bad idea in action. I've seen them do parades to try and drum up good business but if they don't follow through with the customer service and so forth then you are fully within your rights to go and get your money back.

Second Thing: Pretty much in concert with First Thing. Best Buy doesn't have as solid a customer service reputation as it used to. You may still come across a few people who are customer service oriented but it's not going to be the majority. If you have a Walmart anywhere nearby or an Office Max, go get your computer there. (and I'm not even sure about Walmart's reputation except to say I haven't had anything not work that I got from there.) See also any nearby Targets. If you have none of the above, hit the manufacturer's websites and order direct. It may cost a little more but then you'll know it will work. Because if it doesn't, they wouldn't advertise the product.

Third Thing: I once sent my phone swimming in the toilet. I turned it off and plugged it into the charger after patting it dry. It dried out all the electrical bits while making a cool buzzing noise. And it survived longer then the other phone which went out a second or third story window.

Fourth Thing: You are fully within your rights to go hide in your room with food and drink of choice, lights off and covers over your head. You've earned it with all the bad things the spirit world has been chucking at you recently.

Fifth Thing: Your mom rocks hard and I'm sorry that the car is slightly deceased. Is it timing belt?

[samanthabean.livejournal.com]

OH. MY. GOD.

I've been reading and waiting to comment until the celebration when inevitably you get a new computer, because I figured "What else can happen? It's gonna be ok pretty soon..."

But OMG.

I don't blame you for laughing.

This was ridiculous weeks ago. It's long past horror and tragedy and drama, so what else is left but comedy?

I...am speechless.

[chrryblssmninja.livejournal.com]

oh dear. I hope something goes well for you, something big, because all of this is just crazy!

[pandorasblog]

So that's what's meant by 'the geek shall inherit the earth'... the earth's repair contracts! Someone's making out okay in this recession...

I hope none of the other gadget overlords decide to break down on you two!

[yazpistachio-19.livejournal.com]

Have you ever heard of those people who, I don't know, because of some weird mineral content in their genetic makeup, can't wear wristwatches? Any wristwatch will just stop once it comes in contact with them? I think you and your mother have something like that going on. But for all thinigs mechanical. Some sort of magnetic pulse forcefield perhaps?

I feel for you guys. Seriously.

[yazpistachio-19.livejournal.com]

Oh and the phone? Take the battery out and whatever else you can (SIM card, memory card if you have one, etc...) and lay everything out on a towel. Let em dry naturally. It might still work. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT put them in the toaster oven. (I'm not shitting you, a friend tried this. I have no idea what the heck she was thinking...)

[rainkatt.livejournal.com]

Hi, you don't know me, but I followed the whole HP endless wank; I'm slow, so I only recently started following you on Twitter, mostly because of the sparkly-vampire comments.

I've been reading your tale of woe, and this is just too much. It's hilarious, because what else can you do at this point? I'm sending sympathy and good thoughts for the tech gods to smile upon you again. Good grief.

[fading-october.livejournal.com]

Burn the house down, relocate. Go vigilante on Geek Squad (my boyfriend is a wannnabe GS guy, I'll relay your problems to him to see if there's something someone else is missing when I talk to him tonight)

In all honesty, normally when it rains it pours but it seems like you have taken the whole damn hurricane.

[greedyskunk.livejournal.com]

I watched Nightwatch last week. It's a crazy Russian movie about the uneasy truce between the creatures of Light and Dark and the inevitable war that erupts. And the cause of this war? A woman who had been cursed so that every possible bad thing that could happen did happen to her and those around her. She said hi to her neighbor in the morning? That neighbor's dog was dead by the afternoon.

So, I'm watching this movie and thinking this sounds familiar. Then I read your post today. Have you noticed a huge cloud of crows circling your house? Because seriously. Your situation is enough to make an avowed non-believer think twice.

[marlinkhylacat]

WOW. Um. Is your family comprised of women who make electronics go all haywire when you're upset?**

Maybe you don't need Geek Squad. Maybe you need the Ghost Hunters. Or an exorcist.

**(Not teasing! I started my cycle this week, and during an unprovoked bout of hormonal rage when I wasn't even touching the computer in any ways, it just froze dead for no reason, for the first time since I've had it. Actually had to hit the hard reset button to fix it.)

[evilsimon.livejournal.com]

Oh...wow.

[lisa-zj.livejournal.com]

Poor Mama Jones. Poor Cleo. I just don't know what to say, except that I totally understand your mom, sometimes it does feel like that. If all that happens is part of the path that takes you to good, then dang, the rest of it should be a breeze for you, cause....I don't even know what to call this. It left "clusterf**k" behind long ago.

I don't blame you for being afraid about what might happen next. Maybe you should pack The Shelfians up for a quick exit just in case (with TLE & TLB well separated, of course).

[nochi_san.livejournal.com]

Seconding the "get out" comments. That house is bad juju right now.

TO THE LIBRARY! Or a bar.

[iczer6.livejournal.com]

Dang.

[edda.livejournal.com]

I am trying to dance up some good luck over here, seriously. OMG that sucks ass.

Maybe it's Poolthulu and the Biggest Edward in cahoots? I dunno, man.

*HUGS*

[bunnymonkey.livejournal.com]

My head hurts on your behalf. I don't even know what to say. This is so insane. Escape!!

[elbales]

BRB, going to kick Universe's ass.

ARE YOU LISTENING, UNIVERSE? I FUCKING WARNED YOU.

[emeryldmist.livejournal.com]

I understand the whole "I'm laughing because if I don't I may never stop screaming" and if I were in your shoes I would have done the exact same thing. Crying or screaming won't help so just laugh.

Stay away from light bulbs, electrical outlets, and do not under an circumstances turn on the dishwasher or garbage disposal!!!!!

[lunylucy.livejournal.com]

RUN AWAAAAAY!

[cesario.livejournal.com]

THERE ARE BAD FAIRIES IN YOUR LIFE, CLEO, IDK WHAT YOU SHOULD DO ABOUT THEM BUT IT SHOULD PROBABLY INVOLVE A PROPITIARY SACRIFICE OF SOME KIND.

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

O. M. G.

DUDE.

I would call you just to commiserate with you and offer vocal sympathy, except that your phone...well. Anyway.

*HUGS*

Remember the mantra: "This too, shall pass." I'm using that one a lot these days, myself.

[choiseul.livejournal.com]

I almost want to giggle, but I'm not sure if that's schaudenfraude or just because I've so been there before.

If your mom's car isn't doing anything, check in the manual for instructions on starting a flooded engine. We had that problem recently.

Or it could be like the rental car and have a short in the gear box and refuse to do anything if you put it in park. Yeah, that was fun.

[nc-bookworm.livejournal.com]

Start repenting?

Wow.

[eleanor-panno.livejournal.com]

I went swimming with my phone in my pocket. It did die, and then we found this place that specifically repairs water-damaged phones. Maybe there's one in your area? My phone works just fine now, so they could probably fix yours. But in the mean time, it does help to air-dry the internal organs of the phone. Good luck with all your computer stuff, too! You should pitch a spaz at Best Buy. They deserve it; it can't be a coincidence that all their computers DON'T WORK. And after that article about the Geek Squad, you could get really mad at them and also have a good argument when they ask why you're screaming and tell you to please leave the store.

I really hope it all works out! :)

[adelledae.livejournal.com]

I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING