Compocalypse '09: ARE YOU FOR REAL

[cleolinda]

So the laptop comes in. It's thunderous, I feel like shit, I wait until tonight to deal with it.

I plug it in (via the uninterrupted power source thing, even).

It goes to the DELL screen, with F2 Setup/F12 Boot Options at the bottom.

It goes no further.

I sit and wait.

It goes no further.

Pushing F2 and F12 does nothing.

It goes no further.

I call Dell.

I wait seven minutes while a woman's voice cheerfully informs me that there are some super-great support services on the Dell site that I can't access because I CAN'T FUCKING BOOT THE COMPUTER UP.

I nearly hang myself with the battery cord.

I get a tech guy with a very thick Indian accent whom I can hardly understand (note: I am perfectly cool with all of this up to "whom I can hardly understand"). But I am able to understand this much:

"I see from your express service code that you have bought this from The Best Buy. You will need to take this laptop back to them and you will need to ask for a refund because you will need the new motherboard."

ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL

It's not the computer. It's not. It can't be. It's this fucking house. It's got to be. I'm going to take it downstairs to a different outlet tomorrow and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different HOUSE and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different CITY and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different STATE and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different COUNTRY and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different CONTINENT and if that doesn't work SO HELP ME JESUS CHRIST I WILL TAKE IT TO ANOTHER SOLAR SYSTEM, YOU CANNOT FUCKING KEEP ME DOWN.

Comments

[kouredios.livejournal.com]

:(

It has to be the house. It has to be.

[munin-and-hugin.livejournal.com]

This.

Holysparklyvampires Batman, your house must have a vendetta against you or something, Cleo. >:O!

[kerri]

!!! Omg. I'm so sorry about all of this! :(

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

HOLY SHIT!

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm done being totally boggled for the moment.

I have no advice to you, except that maybe you should start digging up the bodies under the house and giving them a proper burial. And failing that, try bell, book, and candle.

[angeleyesjg24.livejournal.com]

My God. Cleo, I am so sorry. This is just---epic badness with the computer.

*hugs*

[its-the-beetle.livejournal.com]

I love your icon so much.

[morning-star82.livejournal.com]

Just...wow. I'm so, so sorry this is still happening to you.

[shenniefish.livejournal.com]

That is just silly and ridiculous. I've had trouble with electronics before, but this is like there is a conspiracy against you or something. If the continent issue comes up, Australia is lovely at this time of year. :D

[bienegold.livejournal.com]

I think you need to sacrifice a virgin to the Gods of Tech.

[nicolars.livejournal.com]

Poor The Littlest Edward. But if sacrificing him got you a working computer...

[r-a-black.livejournal.com]

So.. I think we can find a pretty cheap exorcism kit for your house online...

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

Oh Jesus God.

Scream. Start screaming now. Go to Best Buy. Do not stop screaming until you are satisfied.

Are you sure you haven't been surreptitiously stalked by a reality TV show at some point? Because this seems more like a psychological exercise than a plausible chain of events, even for the most masochistic interpretations of chaos theory.

[internal666.livejournal.com]

"Scream. Start screaming now. Go to Best Buy. Do not stop screaming until you are satisfied."

This, and combine it with snatching off your earrings like your name is Shaquita.

Fucking hell, three bad buys is too much. This has gone from just bad luck to some deity hates your soul D:

I'm so sorry, I hope you can find some solution soon, Ms. Cleo D:

That's horrifying.

[dakiwiboid.livejournal.com]

I hope it boots up somewhere else.

[ktbass.livejournal.com]

Someone on my twitter said their husband sent an angry letter to Michael Dell himself. Said person now has a new laptop. Maybe get your mom to dictate the email?

Computer issues are some of the most frustrating things ever, and I feel like breathing into a paper bag just reading about yours. I hope it all rights itself soon.

[poinsley.livejournal.com]

At this point, Michael Dell should deliver her a new computer in person. And a bottle of wine.

[bgmaster.livejournal.com]

That's absurd.

Seriously, at this point, you should have someone build you a new computer out of parts from Frys or Newegg or something. Apparently every store-bought computer in existence explodes upon contact with your electronic outlets.

[cassildra.livejournal.com]

DR SPIDER X PICARD OMG

[misachan.livejournal.com]

I do not fucking believe this. I think the Winchesters need to come and exorcise your house.

[aliaras.livejournal.com]

I was just about to say this. Call Sam and Dean, stat. And best of luck to you.

[dachelle.livejournal.com]

Oh no!

[plazmah.livejournal.com]

My god.

Cleo, if there is a Computer God somewhere out there, it clearly doesn't like you. D:

[callmesyd.livejournal.com]

what the christ

GERALD. HELP US, GERALD.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

Babe? I'm tellin ya - skip best buy, order straight from Dell.And add in an inhome service thingie to the warranty. (hell, apply for Dell credit, spread out the cost.)

I swear, Best Buy gets faulty products. Go to the source.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

This is pretty much what I'm going to do if I cannot hoodoo this computer at some outlet somewhere. I am seriously ashamed to show my face in that store again. Three returns. Jesus Christ. I will send my mother, and then I will order from the Dell site, which I was trying to avoid because I didn't want the cost to balloon as I inevitably started adding additional bells and whistles. But seriously. Either my house is built on an Indian burial ground or the Best Buy on 280 is.

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. GOD!!!

There must be a computer jinx somewhere. This is utterly insane!

I feel for you Cleo. I hope this all gets sorted out for you. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

[bluebren.livejournal.com]

!!!!!!!!!!!

*PROTECTIVE HUGS*

[nochi_san.livejournal.com]

That...that's...I...wow.

*offers cookies*

[bkwyrm.livejournal.com]

Depending on where you live, I can probably find you an exorcist?

[dramaturgca.livejournal.com]

Good Lord.

Have you considered exorcism? And/or leaving some food and wine out for what must be a hell of an angry ghost?

[soleta-nf.livejournal.com]

I think this might be something to try ... fairly soon. O.O

[calliopecassin.livejournal.com]

Sending happy thoughts your way! What a catastrophe...it's a bit farcical at this point, really.

[ccl.livejournal.com]

I have to agree...it's gotta be the house. And for what it's worth, I was saving your afghan for your birthday at Christmas, but I'm thinking after the Compocalypse you could really use it now. So it's been bumped to my highest priority project.

Words can't express how sorry I am for all you're going through honey. When you said you were getting a Studio I was thrilled because that's what I'm using after my last compocalypse but this...is just beyond the imagination. You will have so much GOOD computer karma after this, assuming this compocalypse ever ends.

Sending wishes for a speedy resolution, hon.

[effronteaumonde.livejournal.com]

Holy fucking omg. I've never seen so much bad shit happen to one person in one sitting. You have my condolences and if Australia doesn't work out for you, Europe is hot as hell right now but you're welcome to try here (Germany) as well. I kind of want to send you my laptop just to get you going again... it's so depressing without you around the internets.

[unicornluvr.livejournal.com]

What is "hot as hell"? Because I'm in Texas and we're looking to break our record sixty-something days of triple-digit heat. It's time to break out the sweaters when it dips below 80.