Bottles of wine, covered with dew, and otters

[cleolinda]

I've been sitting on this for a couple of days, but I can sit no more: If there is purpler prose than this, I don't want to know about it. Includes fanart and a dramatic reading.

ETA: In defense of Silk and Steel. In other words, an intentional burst of badfic?

Comments

Off-topic Twilight question

[hermione-like.livejournal.com]

I was looking through your Twilight stuff for a friend of mine, and I thought you or someone else had done a chart where you/someone tallied up all the times Meyer had used words like "dazzle" in all four books. Would you happen to have a link to that?

Re: Off-topic Twilight question

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

http://otahyoni.livejournal.com/130432.html ?

Re: Off-topic Twilight question

[hermione-like.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I think the thing I saw was set up as an actual chart, but this definitely works too. Thanks! :)

[violetfrosting.livejournal.com]

LOL

I think he swallowed a thesaurus and vomited on his typewriter. That was hilarious.

Wait.

This shit is published?

[wolfsilveroak.livejournal.com]

Hey, you were mentioned in the Ropes of Silicon email today!

http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/article/its-called-twilight-the-musical-and-its-a-real-thing

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I saw! I guess they read my journal, because I didn't send them a link (maybe someone else did?).

[wolfsilveroak.livejournal.com]

And what the devil did you just link us to up there???? AHHhHHHHH!! My Brain!

[aka-paloma.livejournal.com]

D: Be it a serious piece of writing or intentional badfic, my hysterical blindness struck again. I think I have spent too much time on the internet of late.

[ailaes.livejournal.com]

No. Just...no.

[maudelynn.livejournal.com]

Goodness... well now I feel much better about MY descriptions. Thank you ;)

[greedyskunk.livejournal.com]

"Her pubes was a field of wheat after the harvest...." I made it through a face fragrant like the gibbous moon and a spinal snake, but this? I almost lost it. Then I saw the fanart.

O.O

I literally got up out of my chair and rushed down the hall to the bathroom just so I could laugh hysterically. My coworkers probably think I have intestinal problems now.

[elvensapphire.livejournal.com]

The writing is really bad, and then you mix in the names.

Spikenard and Bronwyn?!?! WHAT.

[anaroriel.livejournal.com]

The writing makes my head hurt. I don't care if it's intentional, that was just painful. I mean, you can make things intentionally bad without that level of devotion.

[redcoast.livejournal.com]

I actually liked that passage. Maybe I'm weird, but it was different and new and a good way of doing a sex scene in an unusual way. I'm assuming the POV character is weird or high or something.

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

"his scent filled her head like a wineskin" WTF? Why would you have a wineskin in your head?

[cpip.livejournal.com]

Some people have a little birdhouse in their soul; others have a wineskin in their head.

[brandied-plum.livejournal.com]

I think we now know what books SMeyer read before starting Twilight.

[ibejedi.livejournal.com]

And my creative writing professor used to say I had wordy descriptions? That makes me look like Robert B. Parker!

Seriously, that has to be one of the most amazingly bad things I have ever read...ever! My brain will never be the same again...

[mmaresca.livejournal.com]

After reading that... if I'm not published by the end of the year, I'm getting an axe.

[emmy-scarlet.livejournal.com]

Oh, preach it. All I could think was "This? THIS they published, but won't give me the time of day? I think I need to go bash my head on something right about now."

I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. I may do both. And drown my sorrows in sugary/chocolate snacks. Care to join me?

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

My favorite part is when he can't think of anything better to compare her butt to than bread. I mean really...bread?

[elbales]

Hey, I like bread! ;)

[shortie-3s5s.livejournal.com]

I always get a kick out of this icon :) Where's it from? You might have already written on this, but I haven't been able to find the answer.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

It's Keira Knightley reacting to something on Letterman, I have no idea what.

The Spikenard-Bronwyn Challenge

[chulacabra.livejournal.com]

In case anyone's interested:

http://open.salon.com/blog/verbal_remedy/2009/03/12/purple_prose_the_spikenard-bronwyn_challenge