Yeah. Guess why I'm up this early. Guess.

[cleolinda]

So. I was up last night with an upset stomach, unable to sleep, so I noodled around on the "here's 100 things, bold what you've done" meme, and... let me tell you, this is the most random meme ever. It's like, have you ever twiddled your thumbs? HOW ABOUT IN THE TAJ MAHAL? So random. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to what's listed and what's not--the far-flung (Great Wall of China!) with the ridiculously mundane (owned a cell phone?)--and basically it makes me feel hugely inadequate and I feel this is not fair. I've never ridden in a gondola in Venice, but I've taken a coco taxi in Havana. I've seen Picassos in person but not the Mona Lisa. I've kissed in an elevator but not in the rain, okay? And there really shouldn't be three questions about Paris. I'm just saying. So... I kind of ended up snarking it a little. This is what happens when my tummy hurts, I guess.

1. Started your own blog
>> (Like, five of them. And a couple of websites. Easy come, easy go--I ended up settling down here. Whatever.)
2. Slept under the stars
>> (I feel like I've done this, but I can't remember when it would have been.)
3. Played in a band
>> (I really can't play much in the way of music at all. I took piano lessons for a few years, but I never learned to read music. It was my horrible secret, that I was musically illiterate. It also made piano recitals kind of hellish.)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
>> (I've been on mountains. I've never specifically climbed to the top of one.)
9. Held a praying mantis
>> (WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THIS?)
>> (A snake fell on me once, does that count?)
>> (I was like two years old. I really don't remember it. This is probably for the best.)
10. Sang a solo
>> (No, but I'd actually really like to be a backup singer.)
11. Bungee jumping
>> (FUCK NO)
12. Visited Paris
>> (NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN TO PARIS)
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
>> (Did we have to specify "at sea"? Because I've watched lightning storms and I've been at sea--LOOK, OKAY, I HAVE BEEN IN SALTY WATER--but I've never done both simultaneously. This list sucks.)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
>> (Like... what? Does "making bad icons on Photoshop" count?)
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
>> (It was a really, really bad Papa John's pizza.)
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
>> (Dude, I haven't even been north of the Mason-Dixon Line.)
18. Grown your own vegetables
>> (Cucumbers and tomatoes, specifically. There may have also been peppers--I can't remember, I was a kid. I also had a nice crop of sunflowers.)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
>> (NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN TO PARIS, OKAY)
20. Slept on an overnight train
>> (No, but I took a train to New Orleans and back. I'm sure we fell asleep at some point.)
21. Had a pillow fight
>> (Who hasn't had a damn pillow fight? More to the point, whose quality of life has been severely compromised by not having had a pillow fight?)
>> (It was not, like, a sexy bepantied sorority chick pillow fight, by the way. It was me and Sister Girl in A FIGHT TO THE DEATH.)
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
>> (WHO HASN'T DONE THIS? IT'S CALLED "LYING.")
24. Built a snow fort
>> (Actually, I think it was WINTER STORM '93, a week or so when we got like six inches of snow and all of Birmingham SHUT THE HELL DOWN, OH MY GOD, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, WHO HAS THE MILK AND THE BREAD AND THE BATTERIES and my entire street, both parents and kids, ended up having an epic snowball fight down by the fork in the road. And then we went sledding. It was AWESOME.)
25. Held a lamb
>> (Why a lamb? If I've held a baby goat, does that not count?)
>> (I've never held a baby goat.)
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
>> (Again: coco taxi. Much faster and scarier. Suck it, Venice.)
29. Seen a total eclipse
>> (Can it be of the heart?)
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
>> (WHO HASN'T DONE THIS? It's not hard! If you haven't, go outside and watch the sunset tomorrow! WHY IS THIS ON THE LIST)
31. Hit a home run
>> (Actually, the first home run I "hit," I scored it due to player errors. Many, many overthrowing errors. The second one, several years later, genuinely went pretty deep into left field.)
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
>> (This strikes me as oddly condescending for reasons I can't quite put my finger on.)
36. Taught yourself a new language
>> (I taught myself some Italian grammar, okay? And I used to know a little Elvish. Throw me a bone here.)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
>> (I actually have done this, weirdly enough--a panhandler approached me at--what was it, an Arby's?--and I gave him a coupon and enough money to cover the rest, because I wanted to make sure he really did spend it on food, and by God, he went straight to the counter and got himself a Beef and Cheddar.)
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
>> (I was at Dauphin Island, I think. I just remember us wandering up and down the beach for a while.)
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
>> (WHAT IS WITH THIS LIST AND PARIS, SERIOUSLY)
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
>> (While deep-sea fishing during a lightning storm?)
>> (... No, I haven't done that either.)
52. Kissed in the rain
>> (Again: elevator. I don't get the allure of kissing in the rain, but maybe that just means I need to try it.)
53. Played in the mud
>> (I was also very fond of my sandbox after the rain. Good building texture. I just liked making mudpies and sandcakes in general, really.)
54. Gone to a drive-in theatre
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
>> (Man, I hated selling cookies. I mean, the cookies themselves are made of rainbows and win, but... door-to-door solicitation, ugh.)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
>> (Bought them or received them? A florist at the Western near us was just randomly handing out roses one day this summer and gave me two, how about that? And I've gotten flowers for myself just because I damn well felt like it. I don't think anyone's given me flowers--well, ever, really.)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
>> (Can't. They won't take mine--there's a checklist they have you fill out, and for whatever reason, they didn't want me because I was on antidepressants. I don't know if our hospitals are just really picky or what.)
65. Gone sky diving
>> (HELL TO THE NO)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
>> (No, but... my late grandfather helped liberate Dachau, I think it was?)
67. Bounced a check
>> (Sadly.)
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favourite childhood toy
>> (Just... don't go look in the back of my closet. That's... that's where the ponies live.)
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
>> (No, although I did severely sprain my left wrist after my gym teacher decided that it would be a FABULOUS idea to throw thirteen-year-old girls up on the uneven parallel bars with absolutely no preparation at all.)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
>> (Why, yes! Yes, I have!)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chicken pox
>> (I had it when I was eleven, and I had the stomach flu at the same time. I was pretty much in a calamine-scented coma for about two weeks.)
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
>> (David Sedaris, twice. Was within an inch of George Stephanopoulos. Alan Hunter a couple of times--one of the original MTV VJs; he's from Birmingham anyway. He was very disappointed that we did not have Eraserhead in stock at Movie Gallery. I feel like I must have met someone else, but... I really can't think of anyone. It would all be writery people anyway. I'm maybe the only person ever who doesn't have a single good "I ran into some famous actor/musician" story to tell. Why does my life suck?)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
>> (I'm specifically thinking of my grandfather here.)
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
>> (Lexicongate? For certain values of "involved"? Things FWers found did actually get used in open court...)
98. Owned a cell phone
>> (You have got to be kidding me.)
99. Been stung by a bee
>> (Shit, I actually went out and talked to a beekeeper at his bee... farm?... for a second-grade science project. My mother was the one who got stung that day, though. Although, yes, I myself have been stung.)
100. Read an entire book in one day
>> (I actually prefer to read books in one day and generally do. It's either one hell of a long book if I can't, or I have a lot going on that day. Maybe I just read really short books? I don't know.)

My stomach is still pretty unhappy, by the way. And I can't really sit around doing memes while trying to convince it to simmer down--I have a bunch of errands and shopping to do today, and then another podcast recording tonight.

Comments

[dried-frog-pill.livejournal.com]

Snarking at memes shouldn't be as fun as it is. I almost wonder if it's programmed into humanity - see a meme, snark at it. If it isn't some inherent characteristic of life, it should be.

29. Seen a total eclipse
>> (Can it be of the heart?)
Hee! But only if you had to turn around to see it, bright eyes. Hope your stomach gets better!

[trampchic.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, I can't bring myself to comment on this post (being also sick) in any other way than:

OMG OMG a Terry Pratchett icon...were did you get it are there more and which book does the quote come from?? :D

[arylla.livejournal.com]

WHAT IS WITH THIS LIST AND PARIS, SERIOUSLY

I actually rather ask myself, what is with this list, the world, the Eiffel Tower and the Mona Lisa. Because honestly, there are cooler things in Paris than these two and I don't really understand everyone's infatuation with them. Sure, the Mona Lisa is nice, but there are a gazillion paintings at the Louvre that are equally if not more amazing.

still early here in down under

[cindy-lu-ma.livejournal.com]

Not only that, but Paris is not like everyone's dream destination ok you stupid meme writer??!?!

What about, going into a pyramid? Toured Antarctica in an icebreaker? Drank genuine German beer at Oktoberfest? Ridden an elephant through a jungle?

...I have done none of those things btw, though I would give one of my kidneys for the chance.

LOL @ Cleo "teaching herself an art."

[cupcakery.livejournal.com]

Huh, I didn't know about the not wanting blood because of antidepressants thing. Here in Canada they don't want my blood because it might be tainted with Mad Cow. Moo.

Reading books in one day is the only way to go. I feel like a failure if I can't do it, even when they are long, long academic texts. *stares at From the Enemy's Point of View*

[hollywdliz.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I give blood pretty regularly (when my heart rate isn't too rapid, which it has been the last few times I've tried) and have been on antidepressants for like 10 years, and I've never been turned down for that reason. Most of the drugs on the automatic deferral list are the heavy-duty ones like Accutane.

[angelene.livejournal.com]

23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
>> (WHO HASN'T DONE THIS? IT'S CALLED "LYING.")

Uh... eh.... *timidly raises hand* I've never done that. The 'taking a sick day when you're not ill' part, that is. Ahem. *cough*


I hope your stomach will behave again soon enough. ;)

[fiveforsilver]

Yeah, me either. Although to be fair, I've not yet had a job where I couldn't just say "I have a thing next Thursday, is that ok?" and they said yes.

[venetia-sassy.livejournal.com]

That list is ... incredibly random. And written by an American. And damn near guaranteed to make anyone feel inadequate, especially someone who is not American (hi!) and unlikely to have a headstart on many items.

But never mind that. PONIES! I have all my MLPs still. And I am keeping them, dammit. And I usually read a book all in one day. Otherwise I wind up dreaming about possible endings. It's rarely restful.

Feel better soon!

P.S. I played 'Horrify the Twilight Noob' for the first time today. It was great.

[angelan.livejournal.com]

I still have my ponies! Heck, I've got the one in your icon!

[rissa333.livejournal.com]

Is your book only available (actually not right now) on the Amazon UK site? I've been trying to find it since I realized you published one (okay, about a month ago, I KNOW), and haven't had much luck.

This sort of meme is designed to make most of us feel lame. And the rest of us to brag like assholes.

p.s. Get well soon, tummy!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not out in North America at all, is the problem. It was pretty easy to find everywhere else--when it came out three years ago. Right now, Amazon UK is the quickest place I know of to get it--although I should start linking to the paperback version (title changed to start with "Cut!" or something), which is cheaper).

[phoebesmum.livejournal.com]

No, but... my late grandfather helped liberate Dachau, I think it was? That, right there, beats everything the listmaker(s) - for this smacks of being a list that has grown in the circulation - ever thought of.

There is a fab thing in England called kaolin & morphine that is absolutely the best for upset tummies. Or there was. The nanny state has now taken it off the shelves lest DRUG ADDICTS OMG drink the morphine off the top. La.

[catystorm.livejournal.com]

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
>> (WHAT IS WITH THIS LIST AND PARIS, SERIOUSLY)

Because they don't want you mixing it up with the Eiffel Tower at King's Island, silly!

[jettcat.livejournal.com]

Or Las Vegas!

[discogravy.livejournal.com]

kissing in the rain is both just as exciting as you would hope and way overblown; for a moment the excitement and movie-moment-ness of it combine with the sensory "WTF?" of a hot kiss and cool rain. Then you're just cold and wet, kissing. (Admittedly, if the kiss is really passionate it can kind of uh....take a while... to notice this.)

[lyrainverse.livejournal.com]

I've never met anyone famous either, don't worry. I've met Barbara Kingsolver and Silas House, both of whom were awesome, but I don't know if they'd be considered "famous." I mean, Christian Bale and Johnny Depp were DOWN THE STREET from me in Madison, and Bale stayed in the hotel above the coffeeshop where I worked! And I STILL didn't meet them. That's how lame I am.

[thecolourclear.livejournal.com]

CJ is always delightful and delicious, I heartily agree.

(sry. I must out of my way to squee at WW references)

[ohkaye.livejournal.com]

I HATE THESE STUPID THINGS. I feel at the end there should be a little disclaimer that your life does not utterly fail if you haven't done more than ten things on this list.

[discogravy.livejournal.com]

you know, it strikes me that this memeionaire would be better served by appending "...IN FRANCE?" to the very end (or possibly to the end of every question)

[scornedsaint.livejournal.com]

Swam in the Great Salt Lake

I was there a couple of years ago with my parents, and after staring at the lake for a minute, my mom said "Well, clearly the reason people say they can float in it is because it's 2 inches deep". Maybe we were there during the dry season?

[roseredhoofbeat.livejournal.com]

You also wouldn't WANT to swim in the Great Salt Lake. There's a steel mill and the entire industrial district for the entire Wasatch Front within a stone's throw of it. It's NASTY.

[trinastar.livejournal.com]

I've had face to face contact with a couple of hippie Jesus's... but since I can't actually prove that it is Jesus in earthly form I guess I can't prove him being famous. Also I think there was a night when I serviced assisted a gentlman named Andrew Webber, not The Sir ALW because he still had a thick head of black hair.

Also you could always claim having seen certain paintings and monuments on the television... even if it is fudging the truth a little bit. Or the ANTM version of famous paintings.

[skeptiik.livejournal.com]

"Or the ANTM version of famous paintings."

Heeee.

You are awesome

[lyssla.livejournal.com]

Hi Cleo,

I love you and recommend you to everyone I know who likes HP or Twilight, and in fact, I registered this LJ account just for you, which is kind of a big deal for me considering how long I've been staving LJ off (with a pointy stick).

Now that my fangirlling of you is done, and despite the fact that I only got through like, the first page of comments on each relevant post (sorry, I suck at the Internet) I would like to offer completely unsolicited advice.

I was so angry when I saw that myspace thread, and particularly angry that the original poster hasn't changed her original post to like, attribute you, or change it to a link, or anything else a decent human being would do. I urge you to please consider sending a takedown notice to myspace because that behavior is ridic and clearly this girl has NO IDEA how copyright works. See here for more info (if you don't already know): http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/protecting-your-copyrighted-work-online

Also, (again I don't know if someone alerted you because I didn't read all the comments) the Cherry Darling amputee model from Comic Con that you linked like, a while back, is Lacey Henderson. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=221681442 I wanted to say something back then but didn't want to register an LJ, so here's two birds with one stone I guess.

Love,
That meddling fan.

Re: You are awesome

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow--thank you. How exactly would I send a takedown notice to MySpace, though? I mean, to whom?

[redcoast.livejournal.com]

I have actually done a lot of stuff on that list. It must have been written by someone like me.

You should travel more! Niagara Falls is nice!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I would if I had the money!

[nee-nee-1.livejournal.com]

I have been reading your posts for a while but haven't posted yet. However I am from Alabama and I also have gotten food poisoning from Papa John's pizza. I do like reading your stuff. The Secret Lives of Dolls just cracks me up. When I saw the pony reference I wondered if there was a Secret Lives of Ponies before the Dolls. Anyways hope you feel better.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I also have gotten food poisoning from Papa John's pizza

This makes me feel a bit better about my anti-Papa John's platform.

(Thank you!)

[marenfuga.livejournal.com]

And I used to know a little Elvish. Quenya? I feel a little less geek now, as if (as if?) I shared part of my nerdiness with the world or something :D

[entropy-and-me.livejournal.com]

Lol, I too thought of this example while reading the list. In fact, I think I knew how to conjugate Elvish better than the Spanish I studied for two years in college. Also, I bought a book called "Learning Latin for Dummnies" with really good intentions to get past the first chapter. :P

This list is too elitist for me, I fear.

[derangeddarling.livejournal.com]

"bepantied" is now my new favorite word. It brings up all kind of great ideas about Bedazzling undies, like the kind Edward wears?

I thought for a second that 55 said "been to a movie" and I kind of boggled for a second about why it wasn't bold. *facepalm*

[pop-tothepeople.livejournal.com]

Cleo, don't let a meme that stupid make you feel inadequate. It is soooo american-cliché!
The Alamo? Lincoln Memorial? The White House? If you really want to go to historical places, go anywhere in Europe, or visit Iran, Egypt, Greece. And "visiting Africa" is sooo condescending. Do you know how many COUNTRIES there are in Africa, and how different they are?

Lists like these and books like "98572835293 things to do before you DIE!" annoy me so much. Some people don't want to do this stuff, or can't afford them, or won't get around to do it all. All it ever does is make people feel bad.

[star-x-faery.livejournal.com]

If you really want to go to historical places, go anywhere in Europe, or visit Iran, Egypt, Greece. And "visiting Africa" is sooo condescending. Do you know how many COUNTRIES there are in Africa, and how different they are?

THANK YOU.

[star-x-faery.livejournal.com]

Aww, get better soon!

(Can't. They won't take mine--there's a checklist they have you fill out, and for whatever reason, they didn't want me because I was on antidepressants. I don't know if our hospitals are just really picky or what.)

Mmm, I volunteered out of a blood donation center for a few years, and I think that's a policy everywhere.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I actually think it's pretty reasonable. I've just had people look at me like I had two heads when I've told them that before, which made me think it wasn't common.

[darth-snarky.livejournal.com]

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
>> (Like... what? Does "making bad icons on Photoshop" count?)
This so counts. I decided "making friendship bracelets" counted when I did this.

Also, I've tried kissing in the rain. Not really different than kissing anyplace else, just--wetter. And in a downpour probably pretty miserable.

No NY?!

[blinkliz.livejournal.com]

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
>> (Dude, I haven't even been north of the Mason-Dixon Line.)

! You mustmustmust come to New York! I... can't even explain why; you just have to!

Re: No NY?!

[stormarrow.livejournal.com]

Boston is better =) But Yeah, you have to go to New York at least once.

[joaniemaloney.livejournal.com]

I took that meme and felt like I haven't done enough in my life. The choices ARE very varied though.D;

I tend to read books in the same day too. Unless I'm too busy or if they're a bit of a chore to get through.

hope you stomach feels better soon!♥

[stormarrow.livejournal.com]

9. Held a praying mantis
>> (WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THIS?)



Because they are awesome and bring you good luck! =)