(no subject)

[cleolinda]

Y'all, I had a bad day. I had a bad evening, I had a bad night. I didn't sleep well. I'm not having a good morning, and I have one more recap to power through before 8 pm, and I've got THOSE FUCKING KIDS ringing my door bell, three separate times, and running off giggling on A SUNDAY MORNING, and I KNOW IT'S THEM, because I went out five minutes later after they got out of their hiding places and I CAN SEE THEM acting a fool down there at the end of the street, and I SWEAR TO GOD if you come up here again I have a 32-inch Easton EA70 alloy softball bat named Big Red and don't you think that just because you're ten fucking years old that I won't BEAT YOUR FOOL ASS DOWN because we have CALLED YOUR PARENTS the OTHER FIVE TIMES you did this, and YOU KNOW BETTER, you were NOT RAISED BY WOLVES. Yes, I AM the mean old lady down the street already at the tender age of thirty and I WILL FUCKING LAY YOU OUT IF YOU SO MUCH AS FUCKING PRINT A FINGER ON MY GODDAMN DOOR BELL ONE MORE TIME.

Comments

[wumbawoman.livejournal.com]

See icon. Just point me in the right direction chief.

[edda.livejournal.com]

*OT Bloom County love*

[sweetsyren.livejournal.com]

Time to rewire the doorbell with a nice little electric shock, I feel.

*offeres wire cutters*

God I hate little shits that do that. Coming up to halloween too so theres some lovely fun as well.

[pirho-maniac.livejournal.com]

This seems appropriate here. (http://bash.org/?5259)

[orca-girl.livejournal.com]

As an aside: I had no idea that kids still did that sort of thing. It just seems... impossibly old-fashioned. Fifties-esque.

Still: GRRR-ARRRGH, kill. No jury would convict you.

[hulamoth.livejournal.com]

As an aside: I had no idea that kids still did that sort of thing. It just seems... impossibly old-fashioned. Fifties-esque.
Word. Almost like an older relative was recounting their own memories of such pranks and the kids decided to imitate.

[ruffwriter.livejournal.com]

I agree with the person above me. Justifiable homicide, that is.

[ginmar.livejournal.com]

....Did you just watch True Blood? Because, boy, do you sound Southern. I mean that in a good way.

[ninepointfivemm.livejournal.com]

Well, she is Southern?

[noizangel.livejournal.com]

We had kids doing that in the middle of the night - to which I was like WTF? Why?

My dad then offered the brilliant suggestion of removing the batteries from our wireless doorbell at night (which I had not come up with :P). If you have that ability, it might be an idea.

[sweetestillness.livejournal.com]

WHY DO PEOPLE DO THAT? WHAT SORT OF SICK PLEASURE COMES FROM IT?

I live in an apartment with a locked door and an intercom system that you need to buzzed into. sometimes the neighborhood shitlets think it's a fun idea to go up and press every button so every apartment gets greeted with an ear-splitting, godawful buzzer sound. Of course by the time anyone gets down the hallway and the stairs to the front door, they're gone. Fine minutes later, it happens again. So I can completely understand your RAGE. :/

[greyduck.livejournal.com]

Right. I knew there was a reason that I never want to move downtown into one of those buildings...

[ninepointfivemm.livejournal.com]

That's right. Vent. Let it alllllll out.

[sherrilina.livejournal.com]

Ew, that sucks! >:( Stupid little brats.....that reminds me of our neighbor's kids who spend all their time on our property in our yard, no matter how many times we've told them to clear off, because their parents's house is so obnoxiously huge compared to the lot its on that there's not much room for them to play on their own damn lawn--and they have this habit of rolling down our driveway on their stupid scooters (which they'll then leave sometimes in our driveway, at the top), even when their parents are there, even though again we've told them not to do it a million times. And then there's our vast collection of balls in our yard....

Of course that's still not as annoying as someone ringing your doorbell--they sound even worse, but my conclusion is that little brats suck, and need a good beat down...

[urox.livejournal.com]

if they leave things on my property, I'd totally ebay them. Oh what a pleasant gift they've left. But surely I couldn't use a scooter at my age. Guess I'll have to sell it.

[jennawaterford.livejournal.com]

I am currently swaying back and forth, arms raised high, singing hallelujah along with your beautiful rant. Heathens need a good Sunday sermon, too, from time to time ;)

[gracefallson-me.livejournal.com]

DO EEEET!

[maetang.livejournal.com]

Grrrr! 4 words:

Doorbell --> Trapdoor --> Bear pit.

[edda.livejournal.com]

I savor your rage like a fine aged whiskey. I'll help you hide the bodies.

[summersdaughter.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha, I love your icon so hard.

[cleojones.livejournal.com]

See....

Now, if that were me? I'd put some visibly, gross, unknown substance on my doorbell.

[endlessdeep.livejournal.com]

You need one of those doorbells that barks like a big bad ass dog.

I like the electric shock idea that someone had myself. >:)

[sternbunny.livejournal.com]

From my husband, who is also a fan of yours:

Scene: Gandalf walks up to your door and scratches a mark into it.

*Cleolinda comes out and beats Gandalf with the bat instead of going off to get a dragon's treasure*

Beth

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heh. "I'm sorry, did you just scratch up MY fuckin' door?"

feel your pain

[jharrison19.livejournal.com]

I HATE CHILDREN. people who say you shouldnt be able to strike a child havent been stuck in a house for three weeks with a 6-year-old succubus.

Re: feel your pain

[sorchar.livejournal.com]

A six year old succubus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Succubus)? Wha?

[summersdaughter.livejournal.com]

This post + your icon = made of win.

[bardintraining.livejournal.com]

...man, suddenly I'm thankful that we have a hell-of-huge driveway and my workspace is at the top of the house, under the eaves, and in front of a huge window overlooking my domain the neighbourhood. If any of the little shits next door dried to ding dong ditch, I would spot them while they were still a block away. AND I would be able to drop stuff on them.

Now...if only I could think of a cunning plan to stop the one dog from pooping on our lawn...

[tygress.livejournal.com]

Rainbird sprinkler. Hose. Remote control. XD

[glass-radical.livejournal.com]

SMACK EM DOWN, GIRL!

[elizardbits.livejournal.com]

Oh my. I can only assume that your mother was not, in fact, home this morning, as I seem to recall a delightful tale of her lying in wait for them and causing them much enjoyable terror a year or two ago.

In conclusion, I recommend sudden death from above in the form of icy water balloons/buckets/hoses/whatever, if there is an appropriately placed upstairs window.

(Otherwise, and I offer this in all seriousness, describe to me the wiring of your doorbell and I will give you step by step instructions on how to hook it up to a disposable camera flash, for some home-made taser action. Legal counsel not included, void where prohibited by mom, one offer per customer please.)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, she was home. That's just how mad I was, that I was like OH NO THIS TIME THEY ARE MINE.

[venice-diaries.livejournal.com]

One note, taped above the doorbell:

"Please be aware that I have linked the doorbell to a digital camera. If you ring this doorbell and run away, the video of you doing so will be given to your parents and the appropriate authorities.

Thank you."

[fiddelysquat.livejournal.com]

Proper Response:

1)Hide outside of your own house with a supersoaker filled with water and food dye in it.

2) Wait for rotten little bastards to approach.

3) Soak the ever loving shit out of them and ruin their clothes.

4) Profit!!!

[edda.livejournal.com]

Oh God you're BRILLIANT.

You win BOOBIES!

[edibility.livejournal.com]

I too am excited for the days when I will be allowed to scare youths away from my lawn from the safety of my porch armed with nothing but my faithful shotgun broomstick.

[dm7dragonfyre.livejournal.com]

or perhaps... your BOOMstick

I so punny be.
not.

[karintheswede]

That there is a thing of beauty.

[izzy-unkempt.livejournal.com]

heh- that was just what i was going to say :)

a-f'ing-men, on both counts :)