Essentially, this is... a recap of recaps

[cleolinda]

Today's The Month What My Journal Was Born In flashback: I learned my recappin' in a hard school, y'all. For about three months, I wrote daily Days of Our Lives recaps. And then, between my class schedule changing and the show being on every weekday, I burnt out. BUT THE LESSONS I LEARNED STAYED WITH ME FOREVER. And as soon as I figure out what those lessons were, I'll let you know.

So what I ended up doing this morning was going back and tagging those entries so that you can get them all together (start at the bottom here and move up). Quick excerpts, if you'd like to see what my recapping style was like four years ago:

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/64769.html
OH MY GOD MARLENA ACTUALLY FELL 500 STORIES BOUNCED OFF A CANOPY AND LANDED ON HER OWN DAUGHTER THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF EVER.

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/101234.html
Chez Crazy. Shawn [who is chained up in the Love Cage] snips at Crazy Jan to stop it and get off him. He insists that Belle is the only woman he has ever loved and that she did not "brainwash" him. This is not good. Crazy Jan bitches at some kewpie voodoo doll that the doll promised her it would go better than this. Kewpie Voodoo Doll advises her to be patient. I am so not making this up, I can't even tell you. Crazy Jan tells Shawn that she's gonna have to break out the tough love. Shawn's all like, whatever. She returns to the Kewpie Voodoo Doll ("You can do it, Jan!"). She jumps on Shawn again and promises that she has big surprises for him.

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/102106.html
Chez Crazy. Shawn: "I AM BEING HELD AGAINST MY WILL! PLEASE SEND THE COPS!" Nicole [on phone with Crazy Jan]: "Girl, I gotta hand it to you. You are nuttier than a fruitcake, but you get the job done." Shawn, in the background: "SHE IS HOLDING ME CAPTIVE! PLEASE CALL THE SALEM POLICE DEPARTMENT!" Really, we're on a totally different scene now and I'm still capping this one because I'm crying [with laughter] so hard.

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/105362.html
John asks Mr. Mephistopheles if it's at all possible that Marlena is alive. Lexie points out that she declared Marlena dead; Marlena was shot through the heart; John held her as she died; and Mr. Mephistopheles adds that HE EMBALMED HER, THANK YOU, CAN WE BURY HER NOW? Marlena: *gasp sigh flop.* Marlena, she not ded yet. Still. Commercials.

Chez Crazy. Jan comes out in a spifforama new outfit for the bank. Nicole: "You realize that if you marry Shawn, you'll be... Jan Brady. Which somehow... would be... so fitting." Jan: "Who's Jan Brady?" Nicole: "Never mind." I may or may not be able to recap the rest of this scene, as now I ded from laughter.

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/107292.html
House of Bitch. Sami doesn't want to go out to dinner, has right to grieve, leave her alone, etc. Lucas: WOMAN, JUST GO TO THE OLIVE GARDEN WITH ME. Lucas threatens to call his mom and hang out with her instead. Ew, Lucas. Don't blackmail women into going out with you by using your mom, dude.

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/108369.html
Bizarro Alice's House. Abe worries that Lexie will find someone else and move on--particularly since he told her to. If I get married, and something happens to my husband, I will never be able to see other men because I will always be worried that he's trapped in a tropical Bizarro Birmingham somewhere. Woe.

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/110084.html
Love Cage. Crazy Jan crazies. My mother, wisely: "See, he needs to fake like he loves her." Me: "Mom... he's been doing that for, like, two weeks now." Shawn: "I want to hold you in my arms. I want to give you the love you deserve." Me: "I told you." Crazy Jan: "...This is an act, ISN'T IT?" Mom: "Two weeks, huh?" Commercials.


I never did find out how the Bizarro Salem or the Love Cage storylines ended up, by the way.

Comments

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

The lesbian chick was actually a guy in disguise the whole time (clarification: the lesbian chick was played by a woman the whole time; only when the fakey-fake rubber mask was ripped off was there a male actor involved), and that guy actually happened to be related to the woman whose baby Beth was trying to steal (her uncle? I don't know). And yeah, Beth successfully kidnapped the baby and Charlie the lesbian only made it look like the car and baby went into the river. I think. I didn't ever see how that whole storyline shook out. But supposedly Beth was using Lesbian Charlie in her kidnapping plan, when it turned out that Evil Guy/"Lesbian" Charlie was letting Beth use "her" so that Sheridan's baby would end up with anyone but Sheridan. I think. This was a while ago.

[sweetsyren.livejournal.com]

It's machiavellian in it's demented genius.

So, lots of people watch this and don't all have to keep detailed records to figure out what the hell is going one?

I would have to be there with a notebook and the pause button just to make sure I didn't miss anything that would later be relied upon.

Dear Lord. I take my hat off to you guys. Our telly must look positively dreary and one dimensional to you!

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

If my experience with soaps is any indication to the norm (I was a Young and the Restless watcher for a bit, far less crazy), you never need to take notes because the storylines crawl along. Like, someone is pouring coffee on Monday and maybe, maybe by Wednesday they've added the sugar. You can skip out on whole days or weeks and come back in time to pick up the plot.

I guess you always want what you can't have, because I always think that British TV is awesome in comparison to ours. Although, I am Canadian, so our TV is more some guy in an igloo with a camera. ;-)

My icon has nothing to do with any of this except: Black Books love!

[sweetsyren.livejournal.com]

I just think it's really sad that we as a nation have missed out on this whole thing. Series that run for decades on pure unadulterated crack.

Give me this over bloody Coronation Street or Emmerdale any day of the week!

Yay Black Books! And your Dresden Icons FTW!

(Also Dylan Moran for Eleven! *is really hoping that wasn't geeking out too much*)

[trash-addict.livejournal.com]

(Also Dylan Moran for Eleven! *is really hoping that wasn't geeking out too much*)

OMG. That is genius

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised you don't get any of them there, actually. Isn't there some sort of Soap Operas of The World channel? We get Coronation Street and Neighbours (which is Australian, of course, but also imported) and episodes of The Young and the Restless from the '80's are being shown on the French station. I say rioting is always a good course of action.

Dresden Files love!

Dylan Moran would be a grumpy, drunken, Irish, awesome Eleven.