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Just when I thought this show couldn't get any trashier...

Bonnie hoodwinks Not!Mickey into putting his name on the liquor license, telling him that she got put on probation for "stealing a loaf of bread and a bottle of milk for her babies," yeahright. Mickey is overwhelmed with compassion and agrees. Now, seriously--yes, Bonnie's a shady character, but as a businessman, you need that liquor license. It shouldn't be this big scary thing to get Not!Mickey to sign for it. Clearly, Not!Mickey is inferior to his predecessor in this regard.

Helle's Belle. Blah blah blah. Well, this dovetails into the Marlena plot, but suffice it to say that Belle ends up running off from that plot and Mimi and Philip are trying (or "trying," in Philip's case) to get Belle and Shawn back together, so they plant a boombox cued up to Belle and Shawn's Song on the roof, and when Belle wanders out there she turns it on, and theoretically Shawn will find her up there and OMG love is in the air. Except that Philip wanders out there and they end up hugging. And Shawn finds them like that.

Marlena. This is convoluted, so let me simplify: Marlena gets possessed by the devil. Yellow cat eyes, Darkness voice, dark shadows on her face, etc. She seems to come to and begs for Belle to come protect her. Belle does. Marlena promptly starts throttling Belle and shouting in her Satan voice that she's taking Belle to hell with her. (And House of Cleo rang with shouts of "Go Marlena! Go Crazy Satan Woman, go! Kill! Kill!") Bo and Hope draw their guns. John and Shawn try to pry Belle away. Priest exorcises Marlena; on the count of three, John and Shawn rip Belle away. Marlena slumps over. John pronounces her "gone." This takes, like, ten minutes and three commercial breaks. You're welcome.

...if by "gone" you mean "passed out, and therefore completely still there, JOHN." So then the priest explains what he did. Put on your serious face for this one: He chanted an invocation or something to call a demon to possess Marlena, because if she were already possessed the new demon would duke it out with the old demon and they would know then if she were already possessed for sure. (John, for once in his life, thinks this is the stupidest idea he's ever heard.) Then he exorcised her. But only the one demon showed up. She wasn't possessed to begin with (until the priest got her possessed. You following this?). Therefore, she was responsible for anything she did. Bo mirandizes her with righteous fury while Belle weeps, and then she runs off. (See synopsis above.)

Marlena is then taken to the pokey (the pokey! the pokey!), thrown in a jumpsuit, and given a moment to tell John goodbye. He promises to move heaven and earth to prove her innocence. Marlena: "But... what if I'm not innocent!" Oh, teh drama! I pity the viewers who are just now coming in and don't know that SHE REALLY DID DO ALL OF IT.

Sami and Lucas: Sami shrieks drunkenly through about four commercial breaks. Lucas tries to subdue her and gets booze all over his funeral suit for his trouble. Kate threatens to call child services. On cue, Will bursts in and starts begging his parents to stop fighting. Lucas has Kate hustle Will off to his grandfather's for a while (Grandpa Sean? Grandpa Shawn?) He coaxes Sami out of the bathroom and tries to talk to her. They wrestle over a bottle of vodka. Sami becomes completely hysterical, so Lucas says, "I'm sorry I have to do this, Sami," and adminsters the most magnificent pimpslap thereunto the mother of his child. Two cops magically burst through the door, tear Lucas away, and cuff him as Sami stares in horror. Lucas tries to explain, but the cops shout that they saw the whole thing and haul him off. I say Kate was behind this, only it's totally not what she was aiming for.

Previews: Philip punches Shawn out on the roof. I am hoping the fact that they're on the roof does not come into play. Marlena gets caught up in some jailhouse fight, and Bo is seen intoning to John, "Someone got stabbed in the holding-pen. And she's dead."

P.S. One Wank to Rule Them All 2004: 25 pages, 5351 comments and still going.

Date: 2004-04-20 01:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] missbingley.livejournal.com
DAMN IT!

Of all the days for me to miss Days because of class, I had to miss the demonic possession? Those are my favorites. Hmph.

I heart Lucas.

Date: 2004-04-20 02:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pescivendolo.livejournal.com
Glad I missed the possession/notpossession/newpossession crap. It's gonna be funny if Marlena shanks someone in the pokey.

Date: 2004-04-20 02:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paperandglue.livejournal.com
If you think this episode was hokey, wait until Marlena's in the prison cell with half a dozen fellow female inmates.

(Here we can watch "today's" episode on an American station and watch the next day's later on a Canadian channel, we get it a day ahead for some reason.)

Date: 2004-04-20 02:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pescivendolo.livejournal.com
Oh, and did Marlena throttle John for a little too long up on that balcony? How is he standing by her innocence, when she confessed AND THEN freaking tried to kill him? Why does no one remember anything ever? Ugh.

Date: 2004-04-20 02:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] etherealshores.livejournal.com
Are Sami and Lucas having an affair?I thought they hated each other.

Date: 2004-04-20 02:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
They keep skating on the edge of doing it and/or getting back together. You can tell they both really want to, except for the part where Sami can't stop shrieking long enough for it to happen.

Date: 2004-04-20 03:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] etherealshores.livejournal.com
Got to love sexual tension lol.I think I'll be shocked if they do get together tho.

Date: 2004-04-20 03:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] darthtall.livejournal.com
OMG Cleo, I just had a f_w related dream about you during my nap!

You were, like, going to school at UH, and I was randomly showing off my mad violin skillz (why, I do not know) and then as we were sitting there I said "MY HED IZ PASTEDE ON YAY" and you went, "OMG, that's totally started up again! I'll never finish!", re: the metaquoting, I'm sure. Then I woke up and went, "Holy crap, I just had a f_w dream. Aaaaaaaaaahahahaha!" And now I'm telling you. :)

Date: 2004-04-20 03:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
Yay! LJ dreams are the best. Also, you play the violin v. well. :)

Date: 2004-04-20 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brassyn.livejournal.com
I left the wank at page 14. Damned work!
So tonight is my first time back and I've been sucked in! I'm already late for getting to bed, it's just too much fun.

Date: 2004-04-20 04:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_wizzard_/
It's so nice to see other intelligent people watch soaps. I get such shit from my fellow grad students for following them (I'm a OLTL person). So, is that actor any good as Mickey? I liked him as Edward but it seems like such a different part-I used to watch Days during the Cruise of Deception era.

Date: 2004-04-20 08:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] malenky-devil.livejournal.com
Ah, it makes much more sense now. This was the first episode of Day's I've ever watched and I did so at the behest of [livejournal.com profile] princessm516. I've been avoiding soaps for years, but I am intrigued now. I only caught bits and pieces, but I did see the pimpslap (very badly timed). I think I shall record tomorrow's ep, since it comes on when I'm at school.

Date: 2004-04-21 01:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daliahellyes.livejournal.com
Friended you from FW. :D

Date: 2004-04-21 04:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] waltzingalong.livejournal.com
Another f_w person friending you :)
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