today on Days

[cleolinda]

I'm having to work on my chapter while the show's on, so the recap may be a little shorter than usual.

Today:

Hospital: Lexie tells Jennifer that she's stable. Hope tells Jennifer not to get upset over Marlena (remember, the Salem Stalker nailed her husband Jack. With a brick, IIRC). Lexie and Jennifer decide to take really deep breaths. Yeah, I don't know. But I really like Lexie's turquoise necklace. Then the cramps/contractions kick in again. Also: Isn't this baby just, like, in its first trimester? Or am I trying to apply real-world time and logic to this?

Hospital roof: Helle Kewpie is all like, "OMG, are you proposing?," much in the way that someone might say, "OMG, is that a spider in my salad?" Blah blah Marlena killer blah people dead blah Kewpie guilty blah. Shawn's all like, but you didn't do anything wrong, and since YOU'RE her alibi, she MUST be innocent. Then a nurse busts through the door and says that Marlena's awake.

Bo recaps for us that Marlena claims she's innocent. Sami's all like, I TOLD YOU SO! John's like, "We're gonna get you the help you need," and Sami starts shrieking again. And then Marlena flatlines. More shrieking at John.

Commercials: Bah bah bah bah baaaaaah, they're loving it. I would have loved if it McDonald's had switched to white meat nuggets, say, twenty years ago.

Belle gets to Marlena's room and sees her flatlining and everyone starts shrieking. The doctor (who is not, amazingly, Lexie) herds them all outside and tells them to leave Marlena alone for the night. Bo wants to question Marlena and John wants her to rest and Sami's like, that's because U R TEH KILLER OMG, and Bo says something that I didn't quite catch, possibly about not caring if Marlena gets upset and flatlines again, and John starts pushing him around and we cut really abruptly to a KFC commercial. Look, I get it: fast-food chicken. I'm on it, y'all, now bring back my show.

We're back. Sami is shrieking. John is agitated. Hope lays a smackdown. Bo is all like, "Okay, I take it back. I don't want Marlena dead. YET." Wash, rinse, repeat. My favorite part is when Bo's like, "What's crazy is LISTENING TO YOU." And then Sami's like, "Well, how'd my mom get Supercop's gun away from him?" I am serious, that's a direct quote. And John's like, "Well, YOU got my gun and nearly put a bullet in my skull," and Hope's all shocked, shocked!

I really hope Bo just snaps and cracks Sami like a walnut.

Shawn and Belle: "I luv you." Belle: *tear of guilt* He pulls out the Irish wool rings and tells her the magical story of his poverty-stricken grandfather having his mother knit him engagement rings and "My grandmother loved you, Belle," and the music is all plinky and twinkly and AWWWWW I think my blood sugar just bottomed out. Somebody hand me something salty.

Commercials: Why is Bob Dylan doing Victoria's Secret ads? That just... ain't right.

Julie comes to visit Jennifer. I think Julie is bad for Jennifer right now, with the shrieking and wailing and gnashing of widowed teeth.

Belle is in tears. JUST TELL HIM YOU LIED, DUDE. I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER HERE.

Hope's telling Sami to chill. Sami: "She already told you she's innocent, what more do you need?" Bo: "HOW ABOUT SOME PROOF?" I heart Bo. Sami shrieking. Hope: "WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?!?" I heart Hope. Seriously, can they adopt me? Sami is still shrieking--wait, John pretended to be a priest? Wow, musta been before my time. Ah, here's that priest with the slightly affected accent. I like him.

Ah, Marlena's having a dream about being attacked by that badly animated CGI tiger. I know I hate those.

Commercials: OH MY GOD THAT WOMAN STOMPED ON A ROACH BAREFOOT BECAUSE SHE LOVES HER SHOE SO MUCH. I don't love ANYTHING that much, dude.

Ah, Jack and Jennifer's kid. What's her name, Abby? I hate her. She's praying to the Virgin Mary statue in the chapel. Is everyone on the show Catholic because that's just more dramatic and interesting visually?

Marlena's room: I know what it is--the priest has a slightly Irish accent. Very, very slight. Nice. Sami: still shrieking, having added the priest to her repertoire. I hope God smites Sami.

Commercials: Ella Enchanted. I am disturbed by the sight of quasi-medieval Anne Hathaway dancing to that "shake it like a Polaroid" song. The movie kinda looks like A Knight's Tale for the teenie set.

Chapel: Not!Mickey and Julie. Oh, and Abby. This scene is all of 15 seconds long.

Lexie and Hope: Hope tells Lexie that Marlena claims to be innocent. Hope doesn't know who to believe. Lexie is vexie.

Roof: Belle in tears. Shawn looks suspicious. Ohhhhhh, here it comes. The truth comes out: she lied to help her mom. Shawn starts shouting--"DON'T TOUCH ME!!" He is so awesome. He stalks off. Belle looks forlornly at her empty, empty, non-wool ring-wearing hand. HA HA!

Abby comes to visit Jennifer. I still hate Abby for being such a whiny biatch when Jack got killed. You know, like it was Jennifer's fault or something. Looks like she's stuffed a sock in it, finally. Of course, now she's whiny in a protective way. Julie and Not!Mickey bust in with the "WHO WANTS ICE CREAM?!?" bit and I nearly fell out of my chair. Julie is that loud. I'm just saying. Exit family, more cramps, Jennifer yelling for Lexie.

Roof: Belle, in tears. Flashback to... Rex looking at jewelry ads? Wait a minute, Belle wasn't even there for that, how can she flash back to that?

Marlena's room. Sami. One can only hope Marlena will gather the strength to kill Sami. Ah, there's John, too. He's all like, "Do you remember anything that happened tonight?" She says "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," but the music says, "Yes, she totally remembers." Sami looks shocked, but I think we all know the end of this sentence is going to be, "...I'm so sorry that I don't remember."

Jennifer cramping. Lexie says, "The doctors want me to tell you how sorry they are." Which means, no, we can't save your Super Preemie First Trimester Baby.

Belle catches up with Shawn. Shawn's all like, "Just tell me you were confused." Belle's all like, "I can't, because I lied, aaaaangst!!1!" Shawn's retort is, "You know now that things will never be the same." God, at least someone around here has a spine.

Everyone gathered around Marlena's bed. Marlena: "I should have known, I should have stopped it... John wanted me...? To...? Admit...? That can't be, no...? He got angry...? He yelled and...?" God, she is so making this up as she goes along. "He... pushed me...? He pushed me off the balcony!" Everyone looks shocked, shocked! Never mind that, you know, people! SHE'S A KILLER, NOT STUPID!

Preview: Brady and naked Nicole. Marlena says John's the killer. Hope's like, "We have to arrest John Black." Sigh.


Yeah, this totally didn't turn out any shorter.

Comments

[paperandglue.livejournal.com]

Brady + Nicole 4EVA

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee. Aren't they married in real life or something?

[paperandglue.livejournal.com]

Couldn't tell ya, but I hope they hook up because that would be hilarious.

What I haven't managed to figure out, though, is how Brady is Victor's grandson. Brady's mom was John's wife Isabella, right? How was Isabella related to Victor?

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

Isabella was Victor's daughter.

[paperandglue.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It all makes sense, now...

[katcat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they are really married in real life.

[la-sonnambula.livejournal.com]

He pulls out the Irish wool rings and tells her the magical story of his poverty-stricken grandfather having his mother knit him engagement rings

So those rings are really made out of wool. Wow.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. A few weeks ago they had him tell Shawn and Rex the Story of the Magical Irish Wool Rings Great-Grandma Knit Back in Ireland and Sent to America Because Grandpa Was Too Poor to Buy Real Ones.

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

John pretended to be a priest when he was working with Stefano and HopeasPrincessGina. I think they stole priceless art.

Funny how they want to arrest John because Marlena said that he was the killer, but they can't arrest Marlena because John says she's the killer. Especially funny because they had been investigating Marlena and have actual evidence against her. And John has real alibis. Aaaagh.

These people are either dumb enough to deserve to have a serial killer picking them off, or they just suffer from some Salem-inbreeding induced short-term memory problems.

[missbingley.livejournal.com]

This is the most helpful Days website ever (http://www.bethsdayspage.com/days/familytrees.html). I've been checking it constantly to remind myself who is related to who and how Lucas is a Horton and stuff.

OMG, I was SO mad at Shawn for throwing a temper tantrum about Belle instead of, like, telling Bo and Hope that Marlena really didn't have an alibi. Because now John will be in jail for, like, weeks, until the truth comes out and then there will be Shawn/Belle angst in MAY and THEN Shawn will be like, "Oh, Dad, by the way..."

I know this was from the other day, but what was with the Alice Horton shrine in the hospital? First of all, why? Second of all, how did they make that so quickly? Lastly, why did they take so long to let the rest of the Hortons know that Alice was dead? Not!Mickey, Julie and Jennifer were just chilling for, like, ever and then Hope finally has the idea to tell them that Alice died. And, yeah, Julie needs to take it down forty notches.

Die Sami Die Die Die.

Bo is so badass. I luff him. And Hope, too. I really wanted someone to attack Sami and claw her eyes out. Or maybe just punch her, I'm not picky.

Marlena is the worst liar eva. I love how they were all like, "Dude, she said John attacked her. That MUST be it."

This show raises my blood pressure.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

To their credit, I'm assuming something's going to come up in the next show that at least makes "Arrest John Black!" make an iota of sense. I mean, the powdered sugar in Marlena's glove, COME ON.

(I'm developing a terrible, terrible thing for John. I think his eyebrows have mesmerized me.)

Heh, I wondered about the Alice shrine, too. Like, the hospital people had that thing built before the Hortons even found out.

And that site really is helpful--I think that's the one where Sister Girl got her print-out family tree. Of course, it's not completely up to date, and we didn't know who Julie and Doug were when they showed up with that tiger anyway, so we kept going, "Whoooo? Whaaaat?"

[sprunkle.livejournal.com]

I'm developing a terrible, terrible thing for John. I think his eyebrows have mesmerized me.
Nooooo! Just think of the acting! The terrible, induces seizures in young children, acting!