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OH MY GOD MARLENA ACTUALLY FELL 500 STORIES BOUNCED OFF A CANOPY AND LANDED ON HER OWN DAUGHTER THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF EVER.

Today's email synopsis to my mother:

OMG MARLENA BOUNCED OFF AN AWNING AND LANDED ON SAMI THIS IS THE BEST SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF EVER.

And Lucas saw it happening and knocked Sami out of the way. If by "out of the way" you mean "squarely in the path of her plummeting mother." Then John came running out of the building and Sami regained enough consciousness to start shrieking that he was the killer. And then every single surviving character on the show converged on the apartment building to gawk at the scene. (Okay, not all of them. Half of them.)

Meanwhile, Crazy Jan was standing on a chair with a noose around her neck debating whether or not to kill herself, and this went on in a fantasy sequence that lasted through several commercial breaks and involved Imaginary Shawn and Imaginary Belle. Finally Nicole heard what happened to Marlena and called Crazy Jan and told her that they were off the hook. Which they're totally not, because even at the hospital John's like, "Yeah, I was with Marlena when Victor was killed. She didn't do that one."

(Sami shrieking in the background: "HE KILLED MY MOOOOOTHEEERRRRR! JOHN BLAAAAAACK IS THE SERIAL KILLEEEERRRRRR!")

Bo and Hope realize that Belle had to have lied about her mother's alibi, and Shawn keeps insisting she didn't.

(Sami shrieking in the background, etc.)

John takes Belle aside and tells her that Marlena confessed, and Belle won't believe it. Philip (Kate's other son) is there and says to himself that if Shawn dumps Belle for lying, he'll be there for her. Bo is pretty sure Shawn will dump Belle when he finally gets it through his head that Belle had to have lied, and that people would be alive if she hadn't lied.

(Sami shrieking, etc.)

John and Lexie are standing outside Marlena's cubicle and Lexie wants to know if it's true, if Marlena killed Abe. John basically says yes, but you've got to help her, you're her doctor, Hippocratic oath, etc. Lexie is furious but finally says, right, right, oath, whatever. Because apparently there is only one doctor in the entire hospital, and it's the one with the personal conflict with the patient.

(Sami)

And then Lexie comes out and says, "I'm sorry," and everyone looks shocked. Now, knowing these people, Marlena isn't dead. Yet. It's going to be, "I'm sorry, she's in a coma," or "I'm sorry, she'll never walk again," or something like that.

The preview was all about the kids--Shawn proposing to Belle, and Rex telling Mimi that they have to tell Shawn that Belle lied, etc. Nothing of real interest.

Date: 2004-04-01 11:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] la-sonnambula.livejournal.com
I don't watch the show but that is too awesome for words.

Date: 2004-04-01 12:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
You see why I got sucked into it! Like, I thought Passions was awesome with Sheridan being held captive in her best friend's basement so the friend could steal her baby (fathered by Sheridan's lovah, not her husband) with the help of an extremely butch lesbian, her wacko-senile mother, and a trained-nurse chimpanzee. But no, no--I bow to the master now.

Date: 2004-04-01 08:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] la-sonnambula.livejournal.com
I watched Days and Passions for a couple of months a few years back when I was in college. Addictive. Recently, while I was channel surfing I paused at Passions because the chimp caught my eye. It was being carried by Luis and the scene was supposed to be a serious one but you could tell that the actors were doing all they could not to burst out laughing.

I love your Days recaps, I laughed so hard.

Date: 2004-04-09 04:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
And that is why I fell in love with Passions. :)

Man, I need to start watching that again...

Date: 2004-04-01 11:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pescivendolo.livejournal.com
I'm a friend of Anne_Jumps, and I've been enjoying your Days recaps lately.

Why on earth couldn't Sami have been unconscious? Seriously, sick of the shrieking. I mean, couldn't they have given us at least like a 10, 20 minute reprieve from that?

And yes, best show in the history of tv ever.

Date: 2004-04-01 12:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
Yay!

Seriously, I want Sami to die in a flaming explosion of whinge. Although you know it's a good show when she says yesterday, offhand to Belle, "Well, you know being innocent didn't stop them from putting me on death row!!"

Date: 2004-04-01 01:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pescivendolo.livejournal.com
Ah yes, Sami on death row. That was when they thought she killed that smarmy Italian Stallion of hers. The love scenes between those two were the ickiest things in the history of tv.

I guarantee Marlena's gonna wake up, say John's the actual killer, and people will believe her. Despite the fact that he was fighting with Sami in the rain when she killed Alice, and he was at the church when Abe was killed, blah blah blah. Seriously, the writers of this show drive me nuts when they forget what we've already seen, like how Marlena was supposed to have given birth to the twins, who were THE SAME AGE AS BELLE??? Wha??

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