Not the most scintillating story, but I have a headache, so...

[cleolinda]

I have had a bad day. I'm not even sure if the epic saga of my bad day is worth telling--well, what the hell, why not: The fridge died. Obvs. that sucked. I dropped my lunch (a small frozen pizza, since I'm going out late to dinner tonight) on the floor. It goes without saying that it landed face down. I pulled my inner five-year-old together ("...oh no!") and put another one in the oven. Twenty-five minutes later I realized that I had dutifully turned off the oven right before taking out the first pizza, so the second one was attempting to bake in an oven cooling down from 400 degrees. I managed to get it to the edible stage and moved on with life. Then I went upstairs to take a long shower (which I felt I deserved by this point), but the drain's a bit clogged (whatever, I'll deal with it later), so about half an inch of water had accumulated in the tub when I stepped backwards on... something. I looked down and saw something small and dark underfoot. Of course it was a drowned roach. Of course I haven't seen a roach in this house in five years. Of course I stepped on the one that ventured inside. I didn't scream. I didn't even ew. My capacity for outrage was thoroughly exhausted at that point. My freakout circuits were just completely tripped. I just looked down and said, out loud, "Of course I did. For fuck's sake," and scooped it out with an old plastic cup.

And then my internet went out for three hours.

While I was cursing out the computer (those of you who chose "D) My computer," come and collect your winnings!), my mother called. While we were cleaning out the fridge and bitching at each other, just because, I mentioned this comment, because I was a little surprised that she was taking the whole July 9th thing lying down. (To recap/catch you up: Sears can't come out until JULY 9TH to fix the fridge, which is under warranty, so we paid an independent whoever $75 to just come take a look at it. Turns out the compressor's frozen, "which is really kind of rare, actually." Thanks, Fridge Guy. He can replace it for $750, or [and this was his recommendation, honestly] we could wait for Sears to do it at no charge. My mother despaired and decided to wait, because y'all know how bad this year has sucked for us financially.) So later this afternoon (computer cursing, etc.), she calls me to say that she thought it over, and she decided to call Sears.

I'll wait while you go make some popcorn.

Okay, you're back. So she calls Sears and asks for a manager:

"May I ask what you need assistance with?"

"No," she says. "I just want to speak with a manager."

New employee: "Hi, may I ask what you need assistance with?"

"Are you a manager?"

"...No."

"Then no, I do not want to speak with you. I just want to speak with a manager."

Third employee: "Hello. May I ask what you need assistance with?"

"ARE YOU A MANAGER?"

He is a manager, praise the Lord. Also, his name is Sayid (!), which I am not making up. If you can imagine the chivalrous, dulcet tones of Sayid "I Killed a Man with My Ankles Just to Watch Him Die" Jarrah on the other end, then we'll all be on the same wavelength. My mother also watches Lost, so this threw her for a bit of a loop as well. But not enough to shake her resolve:

"All right then. I have a Kenmore ColdSpot Side-by-Side Refrigerator that has died. It does not cool anymore. At all. A repairman says that the compressor is frozen. But Sears, YOUR COMPANY, says that they cannot come out until JULY THE NINTH, which is TWELVE DAYS FROM NOW. This refrigerator is UNDER WARRANTY, but Sears will not come out and fix it in a timely fashion. I'm afraid that I DO NOT FIND THIS ACCEPTABLE."

She's recounting this on the phone, and I have to tell you that I let out an audible OOOHHHHHH when she broke out the Declaration of Unacceptability, because that is when you run for cover. That indicates Imminent Momination.

I have a feeling that Sayid is one of Gerald's protégés. At the very least, he is a canny man, because he immediately agreed ("I believe you are right. This delay is not acceptable"). I don't know exactly what else she said to him, but by the time she was done, he had said that he would go call as many repairmen as he needed in order to find one who could come sooner. She was on her cell phone telling me this when her work phone rang, so I was actually there to hear her side of the conversation as Sayid told her that he had, after pulling rank and cracking the skulls of three other managers, located a repairman who could pay us a visit on Tuesday. This appeased my mother ("Thank you so much, that would be wonderful"), and Sayid made his graceful exit ("Please have a very nice day").

So she did, in fact, kick Sears ass, and she kicked it politely. In the end, I think my mother, like most people, needed to be reminded of her own awesomeness.

Comments

[jasminelily.livejournal.com]

I knew that she could do it. Delightful!

[rhodynne.livejournal.com]

Your Mom seriously kicks it awesome.
:-)
My mom does too, but she rarely needs to kick ass, since in our little berg anyone who's been in business more than ten years would not dare insult my mother would bad service.
It fairly rocks to be her kid, I can tell you.

[rhodynne.livejournal.com]

..."my mother WITH bad service"
tired. :-)
is it bErg or bUrg?

[scornedsaint.livejournal.com]

I'll wait while you go make some popcorn.

Hee. I was actually waiting until after I checked my email/lj to get some ice cream, but I feel like now is the appropriate time.

I think your mom needs to be reminded of her awesomeness daily, because she really is amazing.

[edenlass.livejournal.com]

hear! hear! we will be happy to remind your mom of her awesomeness any time she needs it.

[melody2tds.livejournal.com]

=D *applauds*
Glad to be of help. The Cleomom should never be allowed to forget her own awesomeness...

[pinstripe-bindi.livejournal.com]

I see your mother doesn't read consumerist.com. or she'd know that Sears is a massive vortex of suck (http://consumerist.com/tag/sears/) that's teetering on the brink of financial insolvency. Don't buy any more appliances from them, because they'll probably have gone out of business long before the warranties run out.

[mycenae.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. I didn't realize Sears was so bad. My mom bought all new appliances from them about 9 months ago... So far, so good, but... I think it's that the Sears name used to mean something good, and people just can't quite wrap their heads around the fact that, while the Sears name does still mean something, it now means something crappy.

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

For a cheery moment:


My 10 year old and I are watching cartoons. Just now something off screen bellowed and roared. His response? "It's the invisible mechasaur!"


You are subverting the youth of America. Go, you. :)

[blackbird-song.livejournal.com]

Your mother is awesome. Does she give lessons? Because if she does, I'm sending her a check and signing up, forthwith.

Catherine

[delle.livejournal.com]

Your mom rocks. As do you. Pls. to let me know if there's *anything* I can do regarding your current situation(s)?

[wyz-azz.livejournal.com]

"There is no charge for awesomeness."

-Kung-Fu Panda

Word.

[zigb.livejournal.com]

Sears sucks so much. I bought an exercise machine there in December and I have never had so many problems with a company from delivery to payment issues to horrible customer service. Next time I have to deal with them I'm asking your mom for advice!

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

Sayid is awesome, but your mother wins EVERYTHING. :-)

[zrath.livejournal.com]

Awesomeness AND coolness!
Vive la Mère de Cléo!

[fryboy.livejournal.com]

Your mum needs her own tag on The Consumerist. Forget executive email lists and second tier help desks. This is the be-all-and-end-all of customer service

[phorie.livejournal.com]

*cheers with a very loud HELL YES!'
I love your mum, can I borrow her sometimes? lol

[roseredhoofbeat.livejournal.com]

I wanna talk to Sayid! And ask if I can play with his hair.

[dramedy.livejournal.com]

Ooooh. Aaah. Your mom is terrifying and awesome. :D

[tabbyclaw.livejournal.com]

Your mom is indeed awesome, but as a retail monkey, I cringed at, "No, I just want to speak with a manager." I have five managers. If you don't tell me why you're calling, I don't know which one's gonna be best able to fit your needs, and if it turns out your problem is something I could have resolved whichever manager I blindly chucked you to will bitch me out. As a general rule, anyone low enough on the totem pole to actually answer the phone is not the person who's causing your problem. Cut them a little slack.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I did feel bad about that. I felt like she at least needed to tell them that it was something she already knew they couldn't help her with. I think the "NO, I WANT A MANAGER" needed to be saved for people stalling after they had been told what the problem was, if they even did that at all.

[zhai.livejournal.com]

Holy jebus, that is an epic bad day. You are clearly due some intense random fortune from the universe.

[wearejustducky.livejournal.com]

Hah, I had a similar situation today where I had to take a deep breath and channel my mother.

The AC in my car died as I was driving down the road. In Texas. At noon. On a day when it was 98 in the shade.

Did I mention that just last September I paid over $3000 for a brand new air conditioner for my car? Yeah, imagine my frame of mind when I realized the vents were blowing hot air at me.

So I call the dealer to get an appointment and a loaner car for tomorrow, and they give me the run around and the call ends. I sit there, boiling in my car at high noon, and it's like I am possessed by the spirit of my mom.

I call the dealership back and ask to speak to the Service Director Dude. See, my mother's family has been going to this dealership since about 1975, so I figure that our many years of loyalty deserve some consideration. After some browbeating and hold-time, I get Service Director Dude and very sweetly say that this is Ailine, Ailine's Mom's oldest girl, and that my mother and I are very, very upset by not only the perfidy of my car's AC, but also by the Service Department's lack of compassion and understanding of my situation. I also mentioned that I would be just LOATHE to tell my grandmother and sundry other relations (who are also longtime customers) of the unexpected drop in quality of customer service I had been experiencing.

Needless to say, I now have an 8:00 am service appt tomorrow and a loaner car for as long as I need it.

[highlystrung.livejournal.com]

I can only really offer hugs over the suckness that is 2008. And also to note; my god, your mum is awesome. As is the term 'Imminent Mominisation'.

[lacrimaeveneris.livejournal.com]

OKay, your day? EPIC badness. However, your mom is amazing and awesome :)

[nothing_to_say]

She rocks for not letting Sears to get away with this. :D

[elisa0984.livejournal.com]

I'll wait while you go make some popcorn.

And get the squeeing under control. I love hearing about your mother in action.

[elbales]

Yes. Yes, she does. Hi, Cleo's mom! You're awesome!

Momination. *snerk* Please tell me you're adding that to the Cleo lexicon.

[greyduck.livejournal.com]

Seconded!

(Also: Priceless icon!)

[mysticowl.livejournal.com]

Your mom is an inspiration to us all *worships*