Oscars, part 5

[cleolinda]

"Now that was a moment," says Jon Stewart of Bardem's speech. "I took Spanish in high school," he adds, "and I believe he asked his mother where the library was."

And now we see what would have happened if they'd had no writers: A Montage Salute to Binoculars and Periscopes. "Thank God we didn't really have to show that," says Stewart. "That... that wasn't even really worth dimming the lights for. At least we didn't have to do... Bad Dreams in the Movies! " And we get thirty seconds of that as well. Hee.

Ah, here's Keri Russell to present "Raise It Up" from August Rush. August Rush gets a choir; Amy Adams gets a giant empty stage and abject terror. They also have an amazing little girl soloist. While they're singing, txvoodoo tells me that she's doing another red carpet gallery this year. Yays!

Here's Owen Wilson with Live Action Short Film. Whoa, I have no idea what Il Suplente ("The Substitute") is about, but the clip is kind of terrifying. Did that moaning guy have red devil eyes? Winnah: "Le Mozart des Pickpockets." Aww, he "speak very very bad English." And they don't play him off!

Aww, shit. Here's the one part of every single show that I HATE, the moment when an animated character presents something. Jerry Seinfeld Bee presents a clip of his "previous roles," and I will admit that the clip from The Swarm (complete with little arrows labeled "ME") is lolworthy. Best Animated Short: "Peter and the Wolf." The female winner is wearing red, which is trendy, but it is not black. The announcer lady seems to be having some problems, by the way.

Supporting Actress! I say nothing. My mouth is zipped. Here's Alan Arkin, talking about how the Golden Age of Cinema is still alive. Here's Cate!Dylan talking about "the hunk and not the butter." I... I have no idea, and neither does anyone else in the movie. Ruby Dee slaps Denzel Washington, because all Oscar-nominated movie slaps are required by law to appear in best-performance clips. Aww, there's Saoirse Ronan in green, very pretty. Amy Ryan cleans up nicely in navy blue. Tilda Swinton is awesome. That's just a constant of OH MY GOD TILDA SWINTON WON! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! "Oooooh no," she says. "Happy birthday, man. I have an American agent who is the spitting image of this [statue], including, I must say, the buttocks, and I am giving this to him." I was hoping for Cate but this is even more awesome. She tells George Clooney that he rocks, wearing the Batman suit with the rubber nipples under his suit every day, hanging upside down during lunch. I have no idea what she's even talking about. I think my face has just been rocked clean off.

Comments

[rebel-waltz.livejournal.com]

i have no words to express my rage for Cate Blanchett not winning for I'm Not There.

and Into the Wild being snubbed the way it did, and Eddie Vedder not getting nominated for best song while Enchanted got 3 nominations.

i think it's amazing, though, that no matter how pissed i get every year, i still love the Oscars.

[sound-of-bells.livejournal.com]

I get so, so infuriated. Every year. And yet I LOVE THEM SO. It's kind of like the definition of insanity, isn't it?

[rebel-waltz.livejournal.com]

it's gotta be a form of masochism.

[modpixie.livejournal.com]

i love cate and i'm not there was my favorite movie of 2007.

but if cate had to lose, at least she lost to someone as badass as tilda.

[elbiesee.livejournal.com]

Tilda Swinton is my new girl crush.

That is all.

[rorqual.livejournal.com]

Seriously. Is she married? Can I marry her? Does she live in a state/country in which we can marry? I would be willing to move a reasonable distance.

[lyricalnights.livejournal.com]

Dude, she's already got a older husband and a young boy toy. She'd probably be up for expanding into a full harem. Where do we sign?

[elbiesee.livejournal.com]

According to Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tilda_Swinton), she's married to some schmoe named John Byrne. Meh. We can take him...

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

She's married to an older man and two kids and ALSO a younger lovah and it's all menage-a-troisy. That's how awesome she is. I'm not even kidding.

[callmesyd.livejournal.com]

I wanna be her when I grow up.

[elbiesee.livejournal.com]

I SAW HER FIRST.

(Joking - I want to be Madeline Kahn.)

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Perfect! I'll be just one more for her!

Seriously, her awesomeness know no bounds, does it not?

[rorqual.livejournal.com]

Okay - on the one hand, I sort of want to be her. But on the other...there are only so many hours in a day, you know? She must be *so tired* all the time! "Sorry, darling, I'd love to continue my passionate affair with you, but after playing with the kids, and having dinner with my husband, and oh yes - all the acting! - I simply don't have the energy. Why don't you just rub my feet while I have a nice nap, hmm?"

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Okay, no one mentioned this, but I should add that my comment should read that she HAS two kids. Not, uh, the implication that she MARRIED two kids. Uh.

[pscopathictiger.livejournal.com]

Aww, there's Saoirse Ronan in green, very pretty.


I hissed at her.

[callmesyd.livejournal.com]

Not only did her speech rock, but dude, TILDA'S HAIR. IS IT SHORT? IS IT A BUN? ONLY THE SHADOW KNOWS.

I mean. Her hair is always awesome, but THAT. THAT. SO RED. I WANT IT.

[agentsculder.livejournal.com]

I think it's just up. There were some shots of her from behind, and it looks like she has a French twist going on. Love it!

[callmesyd.livejournal.com]

Yes. Her hair is an optical illusion. :D

[sound-of-bells.livejournal.com]

Actually, the hunk of butter scene makes sense in the context of the film. As much as anything in that film makes sense. Which, admittedly, was not much. BUT IT WAS AWESOME.

I was disappointed that she won because Blanchett was better, and Amy Ryan was even better than she was, but that speech almost made up for it. I died a little bit.

[word-herder.livejournal.com]

Maybe they developed a private joke during the filming of Michael Clayton...?

[claidissa.livejournal.com]

I'm so miffed Cate didn't win. :( Ah, well. She'll probably win the other one(?).
That acceptance speech was great, though.

[rufinia.livejournal.com]

I got $20 on Julie Christie for Best Actress.

[gracefallson-me.livejournal.com]

um Ruby Dee did not win. this is a travesty. the woman looked GORGEOUS too! she cleans up so well!

[padawansguide.livejournal.com]

Did someone steal Tilda's other sleeve?

August Rush gets a choir; Amy Adams gets a giant empty stage and abject terror.

LOL!

[starlady42.livejournal.com]

Seriously? Best Oscar speech *ever.*

[elbiesee.livejournal.com]

Buttocks and nipples!

And red hair!

[ter369.livejournal.com]

.....she's doing another red carpet gallery this year. Yays!


Wow, thanks, txvoodoo. (TV-less here.)

Once again: Helen Mirren's awesomeness.

[lyricalnights.livejournal.com]

God, Kristen Chenowith sounds dreadful; she's killing it! They should have had Amy Adams do this song. *pouts*

[gracefallson-me.livejournal.com]

yeah, i was expecting her to be better with all the hype she has. i was quite disappointed.

[lyricalnights.livejournal.com]

I love her, but she kept bouncing back and forth between some kind of wide operatic style totally different from the song and her own kinda nasally sound. Odd.

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

I loved Tilda Swinton’s look of utter astonishment when her name was called.

[nimlotbradamant.livejournal.com]

RED CARPET GALLERY!

Helen Mirren looks fantastic. She had the prettiest dress from last year's Oscars and she has the prettiest dress so far this year (Rene Zellweger's is fab-o too, though she loses points for collarbones and horrible hairdo).

Her Cateness is glowing beautifully underneath all that spawn, though I don't think much of the dress. But it's nice to see a pregnant woman looking so glam.

And Nicole Kidman is FINALLY wearing something that halfway suits her! She, too, with the glowing glam-ness. Have a baby, Hollywood starlets! It's the next best thing to being Australian!

[library-of-sex.livejournal.com]

Aww, I knew Ronan didn't have a chance in hell, but hers was the only performance I'd seen so I was rooting for her!

[sarapada.livejournal.com]

She tells George Clooney that he rocks, wearing the Batman suit with the rubber nipples under his suit every day, hanging upside down during lunch. I have no idea what she's even talking about.

Presumably she is ribbing George for Batman and Robin, which he mocks himself for often.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, I mean, I know that much. I don't know if that's a private joke they had on set or what, but she just so blithely went into this long tangent about the batsuit that it was kind of surreal.

[kvschwartz.livejournal.com]

It was one of those moments where you're not sure if the star is absolutely hilariously brilliant or just off her meds. Which seems apt, given the film.

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

I'm glad Tilda won, but aw, Cate! She looks so beautiful in the pics, even with the Humongous Pregnant Tummy.

[agentsculder.livejournal.com]

You know, I swear they need to give Cate an award for lifetime acheivement in Oscar dressing. She ALWAYS looks great for the Oscars.

Yay Tilda!

[7tree-hugger.livejournal.com]

I had my fingers crossed for her since she won unexpectedly at the Baftas, had to climb up on stage in a most unsuitable dress and then was the only person to use "Dude!" in her acceptance speech.

Shame non of the round-ups over here showed anything about her win and I had to swing by here to see what she said. Thanks Cleo!