Sunday evening, twenty minutes from devil's food cake

[cleolinda]

Pupdate: I'm getting anxious now that the pups are five months old; I want them neutered as soon as physically possible, mostly because we were brilliant enough to get a brother and sister, and pupcest is not really what I want in my house. My stepfather, on the other hand, was suggesting that we go ahead and get Shelby neutered, or spayed, or whatever the technical term is, but keep Scout unwhatevered for a while and stud him out, "because his fur is so beautiful." (Well, it's true.)

"You... you want to pimp him out as a stud mutt," I said blankly.

"He's a designer dog," my mother replied cheerfully.

"A designer dog that we don't know what he is!"

"Oh, come on! We know the mother's a terrier! And he's definitely labrador, because I had to haul him out of the pool again, and his little beard means he's probably got some schnauzer. And probably some hunter of some kind..."

"STUD. MUTT. You realize this is a contradiction in terms, right? Right?"

That said, we've already spent the last couple of months thinking of Designer Dog portmanteaux for them. Scout is definitely a Labraderrier of some kind; Shelby may be an Australian Terriapherd, or maybe a Pointerrier, which has a lovely French ring to it.

Interview: Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio on 'At World's End.' Or, how "Hoist the Colors" resulted from a visit to Snopes.com.

Terry Rossio: I want the critics of Lost, who go on and on about how great it is because it's so complex and has so much backstory… Why is Lost winning awards for doing the same thing we're doing and the critics are apparently annoyed by it because they have to pay attention?

Box Office Mojo: Let's talk about the multiple plot points. The first movie, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is more linear—

Terry Rossio: Oh, it is so not. Look at the reviews of the first movie. They're exactly the same as the second: it's convoluted, it's all over the place, it's impossible to understand. [...] It's fun to watch how the first movie comes out and it's [considered by some to be] convoluted. Then the second movie comes out and the first one becomes ever so understandable. Now, the third movie is out, and people seem to understand Dead Man's Chest vastly better than they did before. The best reason to make a fourth movie [would be] so people will actually figure out the third.

[...]

Box Office Mojo: Who's your least favorite character?

Terry Rossio: For the longest time, my least favorite character was the [rock guitarist] Keith Richards character—whatever it was going to be—because somehow the world collectively woke up one day and decided that Keith Richards was going to be in these films—

Ted Elliott:—It really felt that way.

[...]

Box Office Mojo: Has the Internet influenced this series?

Terry Rossio: I definitely feel that Barbossa's first name kind of came about through the Internet. I don't know if it was Johnny [Depp] who dubbed Barbossa's first name Hector but somehow it wound up on the Internet and everyone started calling him Hector. We went ahead and put it in.

And going back, here's their BOMJ interview for Dead Man's Chest.

From bluefirekitsune: "Also, I think there might have been a reference to Vergil's Aeneid. Can't remember exactly when this happens, but at one point, Barbossa says about going to to Davy Jones locker, "Getting there is easy. It's getting back that's the hard part." If I remember correctly, that's almost word for word (when translated from Latin) what the Sibyl says to Aeneas when he asks her to lead him to the underworld to see his father."

Jack the monkey has his own fanlisting now.

Entertainment Earth, by the way, has some very affordable ($12-15) prop replicas, like Jack's rings, Barbossa's pendant (yeah, he has a pendant--I finally noticed it during the third movie, but it's there in the first as well) and Tia Dalma's locket, as well as several talking Jack Sparrows. I suppose you could get a bunch of them and make a little Davy Jones' Locker on a very white shelf.

So I went to Entertainment Earth because I knew that the Noble Collection had some obscenely expensive replicas of the rings and locket, but EE had a $14 version of the Aztec medallion from the first movie. And then I got sucked into their summer catalogue--one of the best things about Entertainment Earth is that they have some of the weirdest media-related merchandise ever. Example: "If I Could Turn Back Time" Cher Barbie. You know, in the outfit someone once described as "two bottlecaps and some dental floss." Sweet fancy Moses. Also available: a doll of the "Half Breed" Cher I just saw singing on I Love the '70s yesterday afternoon. Also also? Cabaret Barbies.

(I MUST HAVE THIS. I have Cotton Candy and Butterscotch as a wee child of five or six, but I never got the other four!)

Other things I ran across:

>> Skelanimals. What I think they should really do is have Skelanimals of endangered--or better yet, extinct--species. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

>> Monty Python Rabbit with Big Pointy Teeth Slippers;

>> Harry Potter 18-Inch Talking Action Figure, who says "Have it your way" for no reason I can think of, except that maybe he's been by Burger King recently. Also, Pimp Daddy Sirius with Dumbass Showoff Getting-Killed Action;

>> Gort Wind-Up Robot, although I don't think he can actually talk;

>> 300 Queen Gorgo Statue that does not look like Lena Headey at all;

>> V for Vendetta 12-Inch Statue, which is entirely different from the V for Vendetta 12-Inch Talking Action Figure, which speaks " almost 1 minute of authentic movie dialogue." The perfect gift for a small child if you really, really hate his parents;

>> American Psycho Talking 18-Inch Action Figure, which features "motion-activated sound chip with 60 seconds of actual movie dialog[ue]" for the friend who is easily spooked when she comes home from work late at night;

>> Lost Action Figures Series 1, which we had discussed previously, but now they also have Series 2, which has Sawyer, Jin, Sun, and Mr. Eko, and word of a third series that will include Sayid, Henry Gale, Desmond (WHEE!) and Claire;

>> 24 Jack Bauer Action Figure Boxed Set, which I am totally getting my mom for Christmas;

>> Pulp Fiction Bad Mother F***er Wallet, which I don't think will actually be censored when you get it, although that would be distinct grounds for a refund;

>> Dark Crystal Fizzgig Plush, which only has one set of teeth (as far as I can see) for 50% fail;

>> Labyrinth David Bowie as Jareth 7-Inch Action Figure with, for this medium, an astonishing likeness;

>> Kurt Cobain Unplugged 7-Inch Action Figure (are we really still in the realm of "action figures" here?);

>> Donnie Darko Frank the Bunny 12-Inch Talking Action Figure (AUGH KILL IT WITH FIRE);

>> Cthulhu Electronic Screaming Plush, an excellent accompaniment to the V figure for those parents you hate;

>> and finally, the Boob Job Swear Bear Bear Talking Plush. Wait, what?

Linkspam:

Democrats hide pet projects from voters. It's always nice to be reminded that politicians are alike all over.

From Auron: Circuit City axes 3400 workers out of sheer greed.

The electronics retailer whacked 3,400 of its hourly workers simply because the company thinks they were being paid too much.

[...]

Circuit City says it will immediately hire new workers to fill the jobs at lower pay.

Anyone can apply for those jobs right now, except the 3,400 worker who were fired. The company says the fired workers can reapply for their jobs down the road, in 10 weeks. By then, they might be hungry enough to take the slop Circuit City is offering.

Leading, in turn, to this postcard at Post Secret.

Belgian troops deployed to battle marauding caterpillars.

Ill. students lose diplomas over cheers.

Man wakes up from coma to find communism has ended.

Freshwater crabs thrive in Roman ruins. Calypso? Is that you?

Source of 64-Year-Long Headache Found. "Doctors in China finally found the cause of an elderly woman's headaches: a one-inch bullet that had been lodged in her skull since 1943."

Police drummer rips band's "lame" concert. "The singer in the Police jumps like a 'petulant pansy,' the drummer is making a 'complete hash,' and who knows what the guitarist is doing? 'This is unbelievably lame,' Copeland wrote of Wednesday's show at the GM Place arena. 'We are the mighty Police and we are totally at sea.' [...] Copeland started the show off on the wrong foot, literally. He tripped as he took to the stage, and then banged his gong at the wrong time so that 'the big pompous opening to the show is a damp squib.' He did not hear Summers' opening riff to 'Message In a Bottle,' and Sting in turn misheard Copeland's drum intro -- 'so we are half a bar out of sync with each other. Andy is in Idaho.' " Concludes Copeland, "Screw it, it's only music. What are you gonna do? But maybe it's time to get out of Vancouver."

Yahoo Picks: Strange Maps.

IM IN UR QUANTUM BOX… MAYBE.

Dutch kidney-donor reality show a hoax.

Sheriff won’t let Paris do any TV interviews. Wait! He can do that? Holy crow, Paris Hilton needs to be in jail all the time!

Colbert spars with author Hosseini. "You trashed The Kite Runner. It is un-American to diss The Kite Runner." I dunno,"dissing" things seems pretty American to me. Problem is, I can't tell if Hosseini is playing along or not ("My name is Khaled Hosseini. You dissed The Kite Runner. Prepare to die").

Weekend box office total falls with no new sequel and/or pre-ordained blockbuster to drive sales. Apparently all the threequels are having steep second-week falloffs, but Spider-Man 3 experienced the biggest drop-off and "continued its freefall with a meager $7.5 million." This makes me sad--I mean, I think the movie completely deserves the falloff, but I'm sad that it didn't turn out as well as the first two. For some reason, I attribute all the problems to the Venom storyline--a movie in which 1) Peter and Mary Jane spend the whole movie sniping at each other and 2) Peter turns into not just an asshat but a dorkish asshat just isn't satisfying. Not to me, at least. The ending is bittersweet without having had anything really uplifting or thrilling before it. The second movie is a good example of a way to keep Peter and MJ apart and have a satisfying ending--and not even a closing! All she's done is leave some guy at the altar! It's not like she and Peter get married or anything! But it's this rush of good feeling, and that's what I want in a summer movie--three or four moments where I can mentally shout YEAH! FUCK THAT SHIT UP! and then feel good when I walk out. Which, you know, now that I mention it, makes me wonder how Order of the Phoenix is going to do. Not that it's not going to mint money, but I start to understand why the Potter movies feel so natural for late fall/early winter--it's easier to deal with something like Harry keening over Cedric's body in November.

(You know, maybe this is why I like Dead Man's Chest so much--it's literally a summer movie, in that it looks like the summer vacation you wish you'd had. God, those beaches. And the last shot is one of the best endings ever to walk out on, no matter what happened five minutes before.)

(Side note: Box office obsession grows.)

Pregnant lady chases pirates at box office. Way to be weirdly literal about the whole thing, CNN.

New promotional pic of Clive Owen in Golden Age. Nothing too exciting, except for the fact that it's Clive Owen, which is generally enough for me.

'Evan Almighty' Director Clashes With Studio Over Advertising, Source Says. Mostly in that there isn't any.

New Trailer for Don Cheadle's 'Talk to Me' Hits the Net.

New Trailer for 'Skinwalkers' Pops Up.

Bruce Willis On Board for 'Die Hard 5,' Admits Dislike for 'Die Hard 2.'

Jack Black Will Star In Judd Apatow's 'Year One.'

The poster for Bob Dylan biopic I'm Not There. My understanding is that Cate Blanchett (as Dylan) is second from right, with Christian Bale and Heath Ledger next in that order. Some of the actors listed are playing Dylan; others are playing other characters.

Eli Roth knew he wanted to be a filmmaker after he threw up in the middle of Alien. "But to most fans his name is synonymous with grisly, sexualized horror. That's why a young woman walked up to him not long ago and rubbed her bloodied hand on his shirt as a flirty overture. 'It was so disgusting,' Roth recalled. 'She said, "You like blood." I shouted at her, 'I like fake blood, not real blood.' I mean, c'mon. The bad thing too, she was really hot.' "

Movie trivia from ONTD. "American Psycho: Two scenes featured unexpected improvisation by Christian Bale. When Bateman is jumping rope, he starts to skip and cross his jump rope as a schoolgirl would. Bale surprised director Mary Harron even more by starting to dance as Bateman was preparing to kill Paul Allen. That time, she says in interviews and the commentary, she collapsed with laughter." Even better: "East of Eden: Upon being introduced to James Dean on the set, author John Steinbeck exclaimed, 'Jesus Christ, he IS Cal!' "

Comments

[laddical.livejournal.com]

Schroedinger humor! LOVE IT!

Also, I completely understand the guys' annoyance at the Keith Richards rumors impacting their writing. But I love that they rose above it, did it, and did it well. Cap'n Teague was perfect for the three minutes he got.

[scornedsaint.livejournal.com]

The perfect gift for a small child if you really, really hate his parents

I don't hate my sister and brother-in-law, but I might just have to get one of those for my nephews, just so they can get an early start on being tiny freedom fighters.

Police drummer rips band's "lame" concert.

Oh Stewart Copeland. You make me wanna listen to the Sparky's Flaw song about how you kinda suck.

[dives.livejournal.com]

That's why a young woman walked up to him not long ago and rubbed her bloodied hand on his shirt as a flirty overture.

I'd actually get really pissed if this happened, even if I was a horror director or whatever. I mean, that's just rude. If you're just walking on the street or something, you wouldn't even be able to soak your shirt or anything.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

Oh, come on, he's definitely a Terrador!! ;)

His fur IS lovely. But I think he's actually the result of a secret science experiment. Somewhere out there, there's a dog running around terrier body with a labrador head.

[trash-addict.livejournal.com]

'Terrador' sounds like The Most Awesome Dinosaur Never To Exist.

[futureperfect.livejournal.com]

I'd totally get one or two of the Skelanimals, but the amount they're putting on their for shipping to here seems a bit outrageous.

[thatpalechick.livejournal.com]

Barbossa's sword! And there's a Sir Didymus plush!
*glances innocently at college fund*

[emisi.livejournal.com]

I rather want to get this (http://www.entertainmentearth.com/prodinfo.asp?number=NC49209) and hang it in my dining room. Ah 300.

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

Gort Wind-Up Robot, although I don't think he can actually talk;

Well, there’s Father’s Day taken care of.

*

Man wakes up from coma to find communism has ended.

...Someone made this movie, didn’t they? Only it was the protagonist’s mother who’d been comatose, and he had to pretend that the communists were still in power or the shock might have killed her?

[karintheswede]

Yep

Very good movie, afaicr.

About that Aeneid reference...

[metonymy.livejournal.com]

cum sic orsa loqui vates: "sate sanguine divum,
Tros Anchisiade, facilis descensus Averno:
noctes atque dies patet atri ianua Ditis;
sed revocare gradum superasque evadere ad auras,
hoc opus, hic labor est.

"...when thus the prophetess began to speak: 'Born of the blood of gods,
Trojan son of Anchises, the descent to Avernus is easy:
both night and day the door to dark Dis lies open;
but to recall the steps and escape to the highest air,
that is the work, this is the task."

Aeneid VI.125-129.

Re: About that Aeneid reference...

[amaelamin.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you found the lines; I would have had to dig out my copy of the Aeneid otherwise. I definitely made the connection while watching AWE as well; it's not quite a verbatim translation, but I wouldn't consider a conscious reference out of the question.

[reannaremick.livejournal.com]

I still have my original Mint my little pony......and I think Cotton Candy.

[sapphires13.livejournal.com]

Harry Potter 18-Inch Talking Action Figure, who says "Have it your way" for no reason I can think of, except that maybe he's been by Burger King recently.

I actually just watched Goblet of Fire last night, and that's what Harry says right before he and Voldemort do the priori incantatum. It stuck in my mind at the time, because although I haven't read GOF in a while, I didn't think book-Harry would've said that.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heh, I remember that now--in reference to Voldemort wanting to duel. I liked that line in the movie because you could just tell he was like, "Look, if you're too stupid to kill me right off, that's your problem."

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

Girls get spayed and boys get neutered. Neutered- N for No Nuts! Spayed- S for She's Sterile.

[artemis-archer.livejournal.com]

The Gorgo statue looks closer to Gerard Butler than Lena Headey. It must be tricky sometimes to get a good resemblance but... that's way off

That's really ridiculous about the diplomas. The students aren't to blame for people cheering too loud for them.

And your pups are very cute!

[piratesorka.livejournal.com]

I sure hope you don't pimp out your mutt Scout as a stud mutt. He is a cute enough dog but he is a mutt and god knows we have enough dogs in this world as it is, let alone more mutts.

I think men just don't like to think of their male dogs as being neutered.

[lauramcvey.livejournal.com]

Okay, rant not entirely directed at you, but-
What is with this purebreed prejudice?
I swear, whenever I tell people my dogs crossbred, I get a condescending smile and a, "Oh, well she's pretty anyway." What's wrong with mixed dogs? I remember my third grade teacher telling us that purebred dogs were better than mutts, and me feeling put down because I'd just gotten a puppy, and she was (well, still is) a pound dog, and probably a border collie/German shepard mix, but I loved her anyway, and didn't get why my classmate's dogs were better than she was. Mind you, it was a private school, which may account for the dog snobbery. I just don't get what's wrong with mixbred dogs. They actually live longer than purebreds, and don't have some of the agression problems bred into some breeds- i.e. pitbulls.
[/rant].

"Thank the writers."

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

FWIW, the MTV Movie Awards gave Dead Man's Chest its Best Picture award, and Johnny Depp and Jerry Bruckheimer accepted. I thought of you when Bruckheimer said to Depp, softly but audibly, "Thank the writers." Which Depp did ("Thanks to Ted and Terry").

Re: "Thank the writers."

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Awww, yay! I wondered who was going to win that, but couldn't quite bring myself to watch. The show was funnier before it realized it was funny, if that makes any sense.

[shesnotallthere.livejournal.com]

You might want to tell your stepdad that if he gets the pups neutered and spayed now, it will GREATLY reduce their risk of getting cancer (several types, even) later on.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I may try that tack, because I really want to get them both fixed ASAP.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Scout is definitely a Labraderrier of some kind;

Or perhaps a Labraderrière?

Also, I need that Schrödinger's lolcat as an icon. Do you know what the right way to get permission for that would be? Or if iconing permission is usually needed for those?

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

From that Paris article:
"Once there, Hilton will go through the normal intake process, said Baca."

Cough.

[derangeddarling.livejournal.com]

This is the best post eeeevvverrrr.

I wish I could get like, -just- Sawyer of the Lost ones or -just- Sirius, though. It looks like they only have the sets?

Still, SO much fun stuff in this post!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, you can get them separately; you just might have to get them somewhere else. EE often sells things separately. You might even try Amazon.

[splits_thesky]

"American Psycho: Two scenes featured unexpected improvisation by Christian Bale. When Bateman is jumping rope, he starts to skip and cross his jump rope as a schoolgirl would. Bale surprised director Mary Harron even more by starting to dance as Bateman was preparing to kill Paul Allen. That time, she says in interviews and the commentary, she collapsed with laughter."

...I didn't think it was possible for me to love Christian Bale any more than I already do, but damnit, I DO.

[lauramcvey.livejournal.com]

And on that note, ICON LOVE.

[edda.livejournal.com]

Re the Circuit City thing:

The company, based in Richmond, Va....

DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT WHY DO THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN HERE!? *weeps* And I seriously hope that saboteur get away with it. And I guess the school admins in Illinois must have been trained at Circuit City, come to think of it.

Ooh, the maps! I have that issue of the New Yorker! It has a really good article on LOTR, which is why I stole it from a waiting room bought it.

The story about Coma Man makes me happy. I mean, if he had to miss the changes, at least he got to come back when things are good again.

Also the crab in that shot of the coliseum is clearly about to give that photographer the thumbs down: "You shall face the death of...DEEP-FRY BATTERING AND LEMON WEDGES! SO SAYETH CAESAR CRUSTACEA!!!"

[caligogreywings.livejournal.com]

I suppose you could get a bunch of them and make a little Davy Jones' Locker on a very white shelf.

Win.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I actually have a large bookcase that's dead white, shelves and backs and everything. I could totally set up a Davy Jones' Locker if I had the Jacks. As it is, I'll just have to have Dark Lord Sauron's Locker or something.

[bigeyedrabbit.livejournal.com]

Pimp Daddy Sirius with Dumbass Showoff Getting-Killed Action

That's it. You win the Internets.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I have the first ring on this page, the Pirate Captain's ring: http://www.badalijewelry.com/pirate.htm
It's lovely! So heavy, with a nice stone--and it's on sale right now, too!

And 18-inch figures are just too big and creepy. I actually purchased the Tonner Harry Potter doll on eBay (not having seen it in person) and sold it shortly after; he was just too...large, to be looked at comfortably. I guess I'm too fixed on Barbie Doll scale.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, all I have are the 11-12" dolls--all my Gene dolls are like 14" even at that.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I recently got the 12" Shaun of the Dead Shaun. I didn't realize that he talked. The first time I picked him up after de-boxing, I hit the button on his back, he piped up with, "How's that for a slice of fried gold?" and I flung him across the room in terror.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Outstanding.

[ipomoea.livejournal.com]

They have pooper scooper Barbies (http://www.entertainmentearth.com/prodinfo.asp?number=MTJ9472). For the love of god, WHY?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_stormthesea/]

That's because the dog poops after eating. Fortunately, his food=his poop, and so it's kind of an endless cycle.