One-Eyed Cleo, Captain of the Good Ship Split Infinitive

[cleolinda]

Okay, so I have just gotten home. Very orderly thoughts:

1. That was so fucked up. I... I kind of don't know if it was awesome or not.

2. Aw, hell, who am I kidding? It was fucking awesome.

3. It started out a little hinky. Things seemed kind of... off. Line readings, the cheese factor was a little too strong, I'm not sure what.

4. Maybe because it was Pirates: The Musical! for the first two scenes.

5. (Okay, the Littlest Pirate gets hanged, I'm still with you. But: "They're... singing." Beckett: "Finally." Wait, what?)

6. And then Multiple Jacks showed up, and it was like, This Is Not the Good Acid. The whole thing--the whiteness of the background, the trippy doppelgängers, the general weirdness--so reminded me of something, like an homage to someone or something. Dalí? Seriously, help me out, it was so an homage to something.

7. Also, I had no idea that Johnny Depp licking things could be made unattractive. He must be really, really proud of himself.

8. I love that the monkey blew up Singapore.

9. (If they didn't have a ship, how did they get to Singapore?)

10. I knew that Norrington and Governor Swann were going to die. Not because anyone told me; I just knew. Maybe it's because I watch too much Lost, but I just had this feeling that they were itching to kill people off. "Make it dark," whatever. I'd thought that Sao Feng would last until the final battle, so I was startled but not really surprised when he bit it. Because, again: killing people off.

11. NOOOOO! NOT MY KRAKEN! *rending of garments*

12. When Jack suddenly decided that he wanted to be captain of the Flying Dutchman (which immediately felt wrong, because Jack Sparrow + The Black Pearl = OTP), I knew that wasn't going to happen, because Johnny Depp had been quoted everywhere as saying that he would be willing to do more POTC movies. You can't have The Further Adventures of Captain Jack if he's stuck on the Dutchman, right? So who's going to captain it, because I'm pretty sure they're not going to let Davy Jones live? Well, there's Barbossa, and I guess there's Will, who "has a touch of..." Oh shit. And that's when I knew--by that time they had gone into the whole Davy Jones/Tia Calypso One Day Every Ten Years Thing, plus Sao Feng had randomly decided that Elizabeth was Calypso--I knew that they were totally going to put Will and Elizabeth into the same situation. I'm not saying it's fine cinema, but there's something about them actually going there that took the movie to a totally different level in my mind. Normally, this kind of thing would end with a big splashy wedding, like the one that got interrupted (last year I'd put my money on Jack showing up with Scarlett and Giselle, and you know what? He still showed up with them at the end), and no matter who died, there'd be a big bow wrapped around the ending. So I'm actually kind of--"pleased" isn't really the word, but I admire that they went for something different that had specific thematic resonance; they looked at the story they had so far and took it to a logical, bittersweet conclusion. And all three of these movies have been willing to go for--not always something shocking, necessarily, but they've been willing to go to that tragic place rather than just be glossy and happy. That's one of the things I always liked about the first movie, that it's actually sad and serious when Jack ends the curse and shoots Barbossa; I liked that they made it mean something. And then the second one, of course, you have the fantastic scene where the kraken (RIP, sniffle) comes for Jack and he goes down fighting. It takes the movies to a level that's a lot more epic, not because the battles are bigger or the effects are more expensive, but because real things are at stake, and actual sacrifices are made, and not everyone wins.

13. And then, an hour into the movie, a screw popped out of my glasses and was lost in the deeps. The sticky, sticky, bepopcorned deeps. I spent the rest of the movie--nearly two hours, mind you--pinching the frames to keep the left lens in. This is another reason I am going to have to see the movie again. Oh, darn.

14. Keith Richards is a surprisingly competent actor.

15. I KNEW he was going to end up being Jack's father. I mean, the original news stories about it totally said that, but then they said the character had been changed to "Captain Teague," and I was like, I don't care, he's totally Jack's father.

16. Elizabeth Swann, Pirate King. AWESOME.

17. Awww, Davy Jones has to stand in a bucket, because... you know... the every ten years and... a bucket, y'all.

18. Attack of the 50-Foot Calypso: Not... what I would have hoped for, really. The effect (the scale? the perspective?) didn't seem quite right, for some reason, and the voice they chose was just... not on. It just sounded very Generic Exorcist Scary, rather than Dark Galadriel Cool.

19. (As much sense as Tia Dalma = Calypso makes, I really, really wish they had somehow mentioned Calypso, even just in some kind of offhand, idiomatic expression--maybe one of those random things Gibbs says--in the second movie just to let us know then that she exists in the POTC universe. Because so many things were foreshadowed in Dead Man's Chest, the whole Calypso, Greek Goddess of the Sea thing seemed sort of shoehorned.)

20. Wow, chicks don't usually get to make That One Speech About Freedom That Someone Always Makes Before the Final Battle. Rock.

21. The one time our audience broke into applause: "DEARLY BELOVED--!"

22. Epic Pathos aside, I didn't mist up until Will said, "Keep a weather eye on the horizon." What? Nothing, I'm just--adjusting my broke-ass glasses. *sniiiiiiiiff*

23. (Will! Use your head! Get a bucket!)

24. Taking my mother to see this movie is going to be hellish. "Where are they? Is that China? Who's Calypso? Why are there so many Jacks? Why would multiple Jacks be hell? Is Will with the bad people now? Why is Will with the bad people? Why doesn't his father remember him? Why Elizabeth is Calypso? Well, why isn't she--" OH MY GOD.

25. Late-breaking addition: I stayed until after the credits (more adjusting of glasses). And then I came back to check my email and found a comment from sualocin (or followed to where sualocin made the comment) to the effect that THERE WAS ACTUALLY A HAPPY ENDING:

The quote from the writers I was gonna share with you is: "The captain of the Flying Dutchman curse can be broken and that's why Davy Jones was so furious with Calypso. If the captain's true love is waiting for him when he comes ashore after 10 years the spell is broken and he is no longer bound to the ship - he's free to live a normal mortal life on land again. A new captain is chosen to continue the 10 year cycle. When Davy returned to shore after the first 10 years Calypso was not there to meet him. The curse was not broken and he was doomed to remain captain for eternity. SO when Will comes back after the first ten years (since Liz is waiting for him with their son) the spell is broken and Will can join his family for the rest of his life."

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER. ETA: I'm hearing now that this may not be a real quote. I kind of don't care, because--if nothing else--it makes the Davy Jones-Tia Dalma conversation in the brig make more sense. Also, LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU IT REALLY HAPPENED. ETA 2: Okay, here's what it is: a true statement from the writers restated in the words of bri_chan and a friend.

25 26. In conclusion: Even haters can probably agree that this is the most gorgeous pirate acid trip you will ever take.

P.S. There was lots of smuggled rum.

Comments

[thunderphoenix.livejournal.com]

I was major league jamming on the Black Pearl Versus Flying Dutchman showdown in the whirlpool. Maybe it's just because I'm in the Navy and like ships. Maybe it was because of the music. Maybe both ships had such cool designs. That was one of those things that HAD to be seen on a big screen because it kind of loses something otherwise.

Oh, and I'm glad that Davy still had a big presence in the movie. He wasn't in the trailers much and I was worried that he wasn't going to show up much. That would have sucked, because I thought he was awesome in DMC.

Oh, and the second time I saw it I was stomping feet along with the pirates when they were singing their song at the beginning.

[rclementmoore.livejournal.com]

Ha! That's so weird. This could have been my thoughts on this movie point by point. Even the tag at the end. On the way home I said, In my mental epilogue, in 10 years, Elizabeth is waiting with their son.

I thought Will as captain of the Dutchman was PERFECT. I loved the ending. Even more now that you said that the above would break the curse.

[youngcurmudgeon.livejournal.com]

You're right, these are very well-organized! :-)

I, too, missed the post-credits scene, but I hope if they break the curse it doesn't stop Will from being the extremely hot Dread Pirate Legolas that he turned into. I'd never seen Orlando Bloom as attractive before this movie.

I'm with you on the Norrington and Governor Swann thing. With Norrington I was all horror-movie about it. "No! Don't do that! WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?"

(Speaking of attractive movies, Waitress is really amazing. It makes me want to make out with Nathan Fillion and then eat pie.)

[infinitegraces]

I applauded something, but I can't remember what part it was now. I know it wasn't the Mid-Fight Wedding, because the whole time that was going on I was all giddy quiet giggles and a big fat grin on my face, and then happy sighs during the epic snog.

And I was in tears well before Will said that line about weathered eyes and horizons.

I was going to give an Amen to your number 23, but that was until I saw #25, which makes me OMGSOHAPPY.

[bri-chan.livejournal.com]

25. Well, actually that's not the direct quote from the writers...that was a the conversation between my friend and I.

Wow. I wrote that this morning in my journal, and now I'm spotting it everywhere. XD

[thunderphoenix.livejournal.com]

Also, to heck with the bucket. Elizabeth's the freakin' Pirate King. She could cruise up to the FD, hop on board, and do whatever when Will wasn't doing the soul-ferrying thing.

I was also hoping that Will being in charge would make the FD a bit more streamlined. And less grody. That thing had to smell HORRIBLE.

[claidissa.livejournal.com]

THIS MOVIE: ARSEPOIGOIHSKJFEOPIW#U$*(OJF LOVELOVELOVE

5. At first I thought that it was the slaughtering of all the pirate-buddies that made the pieces of eight start singing, but now I'm not so sure that makes sense. It would explain why Beckett said "finally," though.

11. I loved that Jack had that sad moment looking into the Kraken's eye. ♥

19. When they were at Tia Dalma's place in DMC, they sortakindaalmost said something about her and that kind of would have been the perfect time. What with the whole "he fell in love with the sea" "NO IT WAS A WOMAN" thing.

22. I WAS AROUND A BUNCH OF GUYS SO I WAS TRYING SO HARD NOT TO CRY D:

25. I FOUND OUT ABOUT THAT TODAY! It just makes the movie all that much cooler.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Okay, so--is it not real at all?

[bri-chan.livejournal.com]

No, it is. I can't recall where she got the information from, but it is true.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I immediately flashed back to, "It was the sea!" "No, it was a woman!" "SAME THING!" And I remember at the time thinking, I could see how either one could be true, but not both at the same time--until you bring the Calypso thing in. I just wish they had mentioned the name "Calypso" in a completely different scene, far enough away from that one not to give the game away, but just somewhere to establish that she was part of the universe. Almost like--in the first one, Gibbs said something offhand about the mutiny and sending Bootstrap "down to Davy Jones' locker," in the idiomatic common-expression sense. I don't know if they had an inkling that they might use that someday, or if the writers went back and went, "Hey, what if he REALLY DID go to Davy Jones' locker?" But it established that it was part of the universe, the vocabulary, intentional or not.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Okay, true is fine. : ) It didn't sound like a *direct* quote, but the writers do have an official site/board, and they have been known to chat on it.

[thunderphoenix.livejournal.com]

Still, Norrington DID have the best response to DJ's little catchphrase.

[youngcurmudgeon.livejournal.com]

True! Man, why does Norrington have to be dead? He was so awesome and snarky.

[angelene.livejournal.com]

WAAAAAAH. I. Shall. Resist. Reading your commentary. Much as I wish to know what your opinion of the movie is, I'm trying to avoid spoilers (and I will have to for the next uh few months, I guess, seeing as I don't live in the USA &all that). Do you think you could have a spoiler-free version of your comment? Sorry for the silly question/request, I'm just tremenduously curious. (This: "Even haters can probably agree that this is the most gorgeous pirate acid trip you will ever take. ", if anything, sounds promising. Is it?).

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, the first two points probably sum it up:

1. That was so fucked up. I... I kind of don't know if it was awesome or not.

2. Aw, hell, who am I kidding? It was fucking awesome.

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

That's a really sweet little addendum, but now I'm wondering how the hell they plan to stuff his heart back in now that Elizabeth has it in a totally non-metaphorical way. 'Cause the curse doesn't mention a way around that predicament. (An ice-cream scoop, some thread and a whoooole lotta hope?)

[elendiari22.livejournal.com]

I fell through my seat when they announced "Captain Teague" and Keith Richards walked in. They made him freaking Blackbeard! I mean, I know that Blackbeard was really called Edward Teach, but it was close enough to be just that awesome.

This movie is for the win. Gorgeous pirate acid trip sums it up nicely.

[megmatthews20.livejournal.com]

Just a comment, I thought the whole flipping the boat upside down to stay with the sunrise/sunset thing was one of the eeriest/trippiest/best scenes ever! My mouth was probably hanging open at the awesomeness of that scene and how it was like something out of a dream.

I didn't catch the after the credits scene cuz I had to make a break for the bathroom unfortunately, but what I read about it makes me really hopeful since Will + Elizabeth = forever and all...

Also I got chills when everyone was singing at the beginning...this movie was way better than two, and almost as good as one imo...definitely one to be viewed on the big screen...the whirlpool fight was godly...especially with Zimmer's themes amping up the energy.

I could go on and on, but I've taken up enough of your board.

cheers

[divacita.livejournal.com]

YES! This movie was well worth the hour & a half spent waiting in the rain to see last eve at Midnight. My Fave PoM:
-Jack the Monkey & Fireworks = Sweet
-Stone Crabs = cute
-Multiple Jacks = Wierd
-Capt. Barbosa = Bad @$$ed
-Capt. Elisabeth Swan = Finally
-Davy Jones + Bucket = LMAO
-Elizabeth & Will Marriage = Happiness & Amazing
-Capt. Will Turner + Flying Dutchman = Friggin Sexy
-Mr & Mrs Turner = Bittersweet

That's it. the movie to me in a nutshell. Of course I was all in love with Capt. Jack but during the course of the film I was falling for the rest of the characters as well. I am seeing it again tomorrow just to see the post credit scene that I have missed.

[demonqueen666.livejournal.com]

11. NOOOOO! NOT MY KRAKEN! *rending of clothes*

And that was I decided that Beckett was truly truly evil. Cus, you know, hanging children? It's been done. But you MADE DAVY KILL THE KRAKKEN. YOU MUST DIE.

17. Awww, Davy Jones has to stand in a bucket, because... you know... the every ten years and... a bucket, y'all.

I'd...kind of be inclined to think the Big Damn Curse couldn't be subverted by such a freakin' obvious loophole. But, I'm willing to look the other way on this one, because it was kind of flippin' adorkable.

21. The one time our audience broke into applause: "DEARLY BELOVED--!"

BEST. WEDDING. EVAR.

[angelene.livejournal.com]

Awww, great. I just kind of closed my eyes and scrolled down to the comments box. I can't wait to listen to the writers' commentary on this one; it is my impression that the more fucked-up the story, the more interesting the authors' commentary's going to be.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I actually turned to one of the people I was with and said the exact same thing, because there were several scenes where I kind of got what was going on, but either wasn't sure or had no idea at all. Although I think some of that will be alleviated by a second viewing, because things that didn't make sense initially now make more in hindsight.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Pirate magic.

[mirei.livejournal.com]

"If Elizabeth is the Pirate King, doesn't that make Will the Pirate Queen?"

[ipomoea.livejournal.com]

I'd seen references to the writers' comments on the curse in other LJs so out of curiosity I went and dug up their actual commentary. I'm just going to link to the thread, the Ted & Terry posts are easy to spot. They definitely confirm that the green flash at the end meant the curse was broken, which was what I was hoping was implied there.

http://www.wordplayer.com/forums/movies/index.cgi?read=98566