Not a pirate ARRRGH, either

[cleolinda]

ARRRGH. Just for variety, I'm wrestling with my children's book again, and it's one of the toughest 2000 words I've ever written--and only because I can't get the ending to shake out. Texts in this genre tend to be really short--it's an artist's game, really; a writer just frames up the ideas--so whatever you're going to do, you have to do it in a tiny amount of space. You're not going to get a whole lot of psychological growth or anything, but at the end of the day, your story is generally about something. I mean, even Rotten Ralph is about a cat who runs away and realizes he misses his family. No matter how slight the story is, it's got a trajectory leading to somewhere, unless it's a book for readers so young that colors, numbers and letters are all the plot they need. And what I've been wrestling with is exactly what my story is leading up to. I have the physical ending--the boy finds the monster so he can ask the monster to give something back--but I can't figure out what the emotional ending is. Why does he need [something] back? There's a big difference between "I didn't need [something] for luck, I just needed to believe in myself" and "Dad trusted me with [something], and I proved myself by getting it back," if you see what I'm saying, and the latter is closer to what mine is turning out to be. But I'm also dealing with what the monster would want, and what kind of bargain would be most satisfying. The funny thing is that the first 1500 words were pretty effortless--this is the equivalent of a gymnast having to learn to stick the landing. It sounds like I'm overthinking it, I guess, but if I can come up with the right combination, it should look natural and obvious and easy.

Sigh.

Meanwhile, I need to type up my Casino Royale draft while I'm actually off dogsitting duty.

Linkspam:

chris_walsh: "The people studying what caused the pet sickness know more now: they've found rat poison in the tainted pet food." More: Pet food probe eyes Chinese wheat; Is pet food properly regulated? I'm going to take a stab in the dark here and say "no."

U.N. official barred from Darfur refugee camp.

Jeb Bush denied honorary degree, made alumnus.

Woman found guilty of antifreeze murder. Remember this one?

A couple of weekends ago there was a Dateline about a woman in Atlanta (I think it was?) who poisoned both her husband/boyfriends with antifreeze, which, number one, excellent plot point; number two, it described how she courted them relentlessly (her former sister-in-law said that she thought the woman was in it for the thrill of the chase mostly), and gave the men nearly identical expensive gifts. She gave both of them expensive cowboy boots, for example. I loved that. I loved that she made the first husband moonlight at a convenience store so she'd have enough money to take her secret boyfriend to NASCAR races. I mean, I'm not pleased that bad things happened to real people, but I sat there thinking, "I could not make this up. I seriously could not. Thank you, crazy lady." The other thing I loved was the way the family of the first husband, a motorcycle cop, loathed the woman from day one, and when he turned up dead, the first thing every single person interviewed said was, "How'd she kill him?" And she still got away with it for years, and probably would have never been arrested had she not gone and poisoned her firefighter boyfriend. Yeah, the same one she took to the races.

Child's prescription drug overdose death raises questions. "Rebecca — who had been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity and bipolar disorder, or what used to be called manic depression — died Dec. 13 of an overdose of prescribed drugs, and her parents have been arrested on murder charges, accused of intentionally overmedicating their daughter to keep her quiet and out of their hair.... Later that night, [her uncle] told police, he heard someone struggling to breathe and found Rebecca gurgling as if something was stuck in her throat. McGonnell told police he wiped vomit from his niece's face, then kicked in the door to her parents' room and yelled at the Rileys to take Rebecca to the emergency room. Instead, Carolyn Riley said, she gave her daughter [another] half-tablet of Clonidine."

Update on the awful dog story from katesti: Man arrested for "terroristic threats," was creepily romantically interested in girl.

Food bank leftovers found in desert.

Study: Chocolate improves blood vessel function.

Thaw begins in famous literary fight. "At a 1976 movie premiere in Mexico City, Peruvian novelist Mario Vargas Llosa — with no apparent provocation — landed a punch to the left eye and nose of his once inseparable Colombian friend, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who six years later was awarded the Nobel Prize for literature."

From libelle: Polar Bear Knut has his first public appearance (with pics). (More: Knut, the cute polar bear cub, greets fans. Meanwhile, they happened to show him on the evening news while I was downstairs and my parents were treated to a shriek of "KNUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!" from the general vicinity of the kitchen.)

Mouse makes off with captor's dentures.

I FYTE 4 JUSTIS 4 ALL CATKIND.

Ashlee Simpson teaming up with Robert Smith? I... I have no words.

Keanu Reeves Sucks The Life From Frustrated Dialect Coach. Awww, I still love that movie. The bad accents just add flavor.

A link bibliotech left for me on del.icio.us: More men taking wives' last names.

Many Americans see little point to Web: survey.

France agency posts UFO research online; French get a look at nation’s UFO files.

Fla. community college checkmates Ivy chess teams.

Take the Funny and Run. Long story short: a number of superstar comedians are known for stealing material, and Carlos Mencia is still, hands down, the most hated for it.

Fuzzy internet porn law struck down. I initially read this as "Furry internet porn law struck down" and was filled with terror.

lyra_inverse: "Don't do meth, y'all." More.

The reason you can't access Fandom Wank (or indeed, JournalFen at all) right now.

Girls Are Pretty: Today’s The Day To Complete Your “Reign Over Me” Action Figure Collection Day!

More 300 parodies. Even more here, but I have to warn you that NoScript blocked something called Adult Friend Finder on that site, so you may not want to proceed unless you have a fully-armored browser.

Warners Preps Bio of Revolutionary War Hero Nathan Hale.

Confirmed: Radcliffe, Grint and Watson to Return for Movies Six and Seven. Meanwhile, New Cards Inc. Draco, Ron, Hermione Action Figures. With patronuses!

Gibson, woman trade words at screening; Gibson in hot water for swearing at prof.

Crowe to Play Sherlock Holmes? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (This may be because I grew up on the Jeremy Brett Holmes, I don't know.)

DiCaprio and Winslet Reunite on Revolutionary Road.

The Final Spider-Man 3 Trailer.

The New American Ratatouille Trailer’s Online Today.

Rose McGowan to Play B-Movie Star Susan Cabot.

Sweeney Todd will resume shooting on Monday, now that Lily-Rose Depp is recoverng from, as it turns out, a case of e. coli with a 50% mortality rate.

New POTC3 site live. It seems a little sketchy right now, but the finished POTC2 site was really fun.

No Jurassic Park IV for Neill?

trailer_spot: Stardust, Ratatouille, Spider-Man 3, Hairspray, and Children of Men goodies.

“As a piece of film design, [TMNT] is first-rate; on sheer aesthetics alone, it rivals Triumph of the Will for astonishments.” WHAT?

la_sonnambula: "This might interest you: Antonia Fraser's writing room. I love that she has a frosty pink nailpolish called Melon of Troy. I can't wait for her book on Elizabeth I."

coconut_zebra: "The icontest community serenitystills is dying a slow death due to lack of participation. Those of us who are still there want it to live, obviously, and I was wondering if any of your thousands of readers were Serenity fans and icon makers who wanted to join a fun community. Thanks for your help!"

At ursulav's journal: My Little Leper Pony.

Comments

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

No matter how slight the story is, it's got a trajectory leading to somewhere, unless it's a book for readers so young that colors, numbers and letters are all the plot they need.

Oh, I feel your writer's pain, I do, but I think you're being awful hard on Anne Rice here.

[ter369.livejournal.com]

Keanu Reeves Sucks The Life From Frustrated Dialect Coach.

I wish someone would coach Hugh Laurie out of that grating monotone he uses as House. Can't listen to it, gaughghgh.

[confusedmuchly.livejournal.com]

...

You can't see it, but my face is one of astonishment.

[rorqual.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the F_W update; I hoped you might have that info, as I didn't know where to start looking.

And: Crowe as Holmes? *shudder*

[lomer.livejournal.com]

Just a rough idea. It could be a story about being a good sibling. Maybe the monster stole something the boy's little sister really needs and to get it for his sister, he has to give up something he likes. When he goes home and see how sister his happy is though, it makes it worth it.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, since something like the first 1500-1800 words are locked in, he already has a definite relationship with his sister that's kind of the opposite of that.

[lomer.livejournal.com]

Like I said, it was a very rough idea. :) I also didn't realize how far along you were! Good luck.

[ter369.livejournal.com]

Crowe to Play Sherlock Holmes? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (This may be because I grew up on the Jeremy Brett Holmes, I don't know.)

Hee. I remember when the Jeremy Brett versions first appeared. I heard a lot of, "But I can only see/hear Basil Rathbone becaues I grew up on those!"

By now, I've seen so many actors play Holmes, that I think each dramatization can only take on one or two qualities to explore or questions to answer. I've liked many portrayals, but I do think Brett was closest to the stories. His Holmes was a gentleman first. Many dramatic versions of Holmes center on the chance to express passion and reveal mysteries in his personality, while Brett was about restraint and manners cutting that off.

[mina-mina-mina.livejournal.com]

Jeremy Brett is the one true Holmes for me because he is the Holmes I grew up with, too. I discovered Basil Rathbone a lot later and I also like his work, but the movies are by far not as faithful to the books as the series starring Brett. But anyway, Crowe? No.

[theatre-angel.livejournal.com]

I was sort of contemplating lending some advice to your children's book dilemma, then realized that I didn't know enough of the plot to offer up some proper suggestions. I did want to say, however, that you are a really excellent writer and your brand of insight is probably perfectly suited to that genre. And Rotten Ralph is awesome.

[purpleivey.livejournal.com]

That otter patronus figurine is the cutest thing I've seen in quite a while : )

And Jurasic Park IV? Good lord! I suppose this'll be the movie where the velociraptors nick your credit cards and drive to the Bahamas.

[lilgoala.livejournal.com]

Who decided Ron's patronus was a Jack Russel terrier?

Also, if I had money to spare, Leperlot would totally be mine. (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=200093223933)

[ldyknight.livejournal.com]

Oh, Montana meth ads. That boyfriend one was on TV right before I read this. Good times.

[la-sonnambula.livejournal.com]

Are you working on the sock monster story? It's been a long time since I'd read it, but I remember it as being very good.

and Carlos Mencia is still, hands down, the most hated for it.

Ha! That warms my heart. Mencia either needs to develop better tastes and steal better jokes or improve his delivery or better yet, just go away.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Awww! Yeah, that's the story.

[karadin.livejournal.com]

Hmm, how about the monster wanting the boys attention? Then they would have to negotiate exactly how they would interact after the boy gets whatever he wants from the monster. Just a thought.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, the thought I've been trying to make work is that maybe the monster wants a friend. So, you know, something like that.

[carnotite.livejournal.com]

Writing a children’s book is a high calling. I went back to school and earned a math degree because of memories of science books I read as a child.

[gracefulfool.livejournal.com]

Have you seen the Masterpiece Theater Sherlock Holmes with Rupert Everett as Holmes? He's perfect - he's got just the right voice - so condescending and sardonic! Lovely.

[promise19.livejournal.com]

I would love to see that! I can picture him as Holmes perfectly. Condescending and sardonic... exactly! He has to be-- otherwise, he wouldn't be Holmes!

[metonymy.livejournal.com]

...okay, feel free to tell me to bugger off. So the boy has figured out why he needs [thing] back from monster. Monster decides he wants something in return but agrees to bring back [thing] with the kid while he figures it out. Quick recap of journey back, aaaand Monster agrees to give [thing] back IF he can stay and play. Happy Monster-gets-a-friend ending? Bonus picture of parents horrified by monster helping kid to top of jungle gym? It might be a little long given how far you've gotten, I don't know. Maybe one of us commenters will set off that brain-lightbulb.

Good luck with whatever you end up going with! I only ever write short-form, and that's almost harder because you don't have the room to meander your way to an ending (looking at Robert Jordan RIGHT HERE).

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

As much as I appreciate suggestions, I'm really more trying to document the problem I'm having than ask for help with a solution. It's a copyright liability thing--I could theoretically be sued by someone for "stealing" their idea, whether they volunteered it or not, you know?

[plazmah.livejournal.com]

Between the overdosed child, the meth videos, and the decapitated pet dog, this may be the most depressing post of the week.

But pictures of Knut make it all better. Eeeeee!

[youngcurmudgeon.livejournal.com]

I sort of hate that I've become That Girl who just points you to random things I think you'd enjoy, but there's a first look (http://media.fotokem.com/Newline/20070321/TheGoldenCompass_SizzleReelRevised.mov) at Golden Compass, and it's pretty awesome. Much of the CGI stuff is still veeeeeeery rough, but the costumes are pretty! And it looks like the daemons will turn out cool.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

YAY!

Mel Gibson

[fox-gloves.livejournal.com]

Uh, yeah. I was THERE for the Gibson screening and screaming match.

And that woman was a total bitch who disrupted OUR class to make her own political statement. Gibson was there for my Anatomy of Film Production class. We all had to sit in the theater and we obviously don't fill up the entire thing, so they brought in people from the outside. This woman went in with the express intention of making a political demonstration and she was an embarrassment and a humiliation.

The REALITY is posted in my own journal.

Re: Mel Gibson

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Damn. This is why we can't have nice things. I'll post a link in the next entry.

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

In the quest to give you make-you-smile news (needed after the frickin' rat poison news), have you seen the Galway First's retraction of the donkey story (http://www.galwayfirst.ie/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=254&Itemid=392)?

[bohemian1.livejournal.com]

That's odd. The men-taking-their-wives'-names article was posted three days ago, because I remember that article with that picture a long time ago. Possibly upwards of a few years...

Minitruth syndrome. Go figure.

That polar bear is beyond adorable.

Melon of Troy

[promise19.livejournal.com]

I love Melon of Troy! Leave it to OPI to come up with the coolest of names. ;-) They came up with that one the summer that the movie Troy came out. I wore it all summer! mmmmmm... pretty!

Re: Melon of Troy

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

You know, without even looking it up, I KNEW that was an OPI color. (Taupeless Showgirls is my favorite at the moment.)