Oscar blog part 9

[cleolinda]

“The Oscar-nominated star of Volver, Penelope Cruz, and the Volver-ine himself, Hugh Jackman!” NO. That was BAD. You are GROUNDED. Best Original Score! (Heyyyy... either they played the wrong music, or Glass’s Notes on a Scandal score sounds A LOT like the one he did for The Illusionist.) Babel wins--I’d bitch about it, but it’s not like I had any idea who to predict, either. And if the name Gustavo Santoalalla sounds familiar, it’s because he also scored Brokeback Mountain.

Aww, Ellen made Jack Nicholson laugh. “I look out there and I see him smiling and laughing... and then I went backstage and saw him standing in a corner, smiling and laughing... and shaving.” And Jack roffles.

Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst, who needs some shut-eye, with Original Screenplay. Little Miss Sunshine wins, as was expected.

An interpretation of The Devil Wears Prada! They turn a guy with a pitchfork into a large high-heeled shoe. Very nice.

There’s a commercial, but I’m running out of gowns.

“Please welcome film star, recording star, and excellent reason for high-definition television, Jennifer Lopez!” Oh, stop sucking up, Announcer Man. She’s here to introduce the three Dreamgirls songs and “Grammy award winner Beyoncé Knowles, Academy Award winner Jennifer Hudson, and Tony award-winner Anika Noni Rose.” Okay, I laughed a little there. Jennifer is wearing a fantastic sparkly red column halter dress. Here’s Beyoncé, in a frilly crimson dress to step in on Jennifer’s song and then move into “Listen”--oh, snap, they’re doing “Listen” together. Wasn’t this Beyoncé’s song in the movie? Also, Beyoncé has brought Phake Phantom (who has snatched the body of Phake Jamie Phoxx) back, and is singing... at him? On him? Something. Beyoncé does like her some man-props, she does. She finishes “Listen” after having willed Jennifer offstage. And now here’s poor overlooked Anika Noni Rose in another red dress with a jeweled neckline that matches her necklace, while Keith Richardson sings most of her song, and then the other two women join her. Oh, and now there’s a choir.

“Uh!” says Ellen. “I would not want to follow that! Our next presenters...” Are John Travolta and Queen Latifah. Because she sings, and... he dances... get it? “And I love a full-figured woman who can stand in front of a camera and sing her heart out,” says Travolta, “...but enough about me.” Yes, that’s Hairspray he’s talking about. Yes, he’s playing Edna Turnblad. Yes, the idea haunts my waking dreams and nightmares as well. OH MY GOD MELISSA ETHERIDGE JUST WON WHAT THE HELL. I mean, I love her and I’m thrilled (“That feels as good as you think it does!” she says, and then thanks her wife Tammi “and her four children,” and of course Al Gore), but what universe is this? What world is this where Melissa Etheridge can beat three, three!, songs cooked up for Oscarbait? And can we stay here?

Comments

[fateorlate.livejournal.com]

Man, I was LOLing all over the place while Beyoncé was trying to outshine Jennifer Hudson.

[lesamalie.livejournal.com]

Me too. And when they are singing side by side (I haven't seen Dreamgirls so this is the only time I heard them) you can really tell Jennifer has the better set of pipes and you almost feel sorry for Beyonce's vocal chords because wow does she push them.

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

It occurred to me as Melissa Etheridge performed her song that she’s a music star who successfully rocked a shaved head. Granted, she had cancer rather than a pharmaceutically induced breakdown, but still, clearly someone in Britney’s camp should have taken notes.

[thespianlizling.livejournal.com]

I believe it was Danny Bonaduce who proposed that La Spears may have buzzed off her hair in preparation for custody hearings for her kids. No hair = no hair drug tests, so she can claim that she's never touched pot/blow/whatever. Maybe she's not as screwed up as we all thought.

[meredithsg.livejournal.com]

Substance over Pop.



I can't wait for hairspray.

[greenleafgurl17.livejournal.com]

I know, I was all WHOAAAAAAAAAA THAR. But YAY!

[mechamummy.livejournal.com]

Dreamgirls somehow managing to lose is fantastic. I laughed so hard.

[sound-of-bells.livejournal.com]

My exact, exact reaction. Plus, "I Need to Wake Up" is a great song. So basically I am quite pleased right now.

[wearejustducky.livejournal.com]

On the one hand, I feel bad for Dreamgirls, because I loved it and saw it twice and I have three versions of the music (original cast, concert staging from the 90s, movie version), but you know what? I'm glad Melissa Etheridge won. Really glad. She looked so happy. Also, she's married to Tami Lynn Michaels, who is made of win (long live the Glamazons).

[splits_thesky]

rofl, I somehow only realized tonight that Tami Lynn was in Popular. Ohhh, memory lane.

[ellaafleck.livejournal.com]

Oh Dreamgirls, all your songs are so ass-kicky that you split the vote. Boo. I appreciated that performance. But yeah, now I'm sad.

[meredithsg.livejournal.com]

As a general rule, I think the idea of writing additional songs for movies that are remakes of musicals will end badly.

And thank you for showing something from the Good Shepard which was WAY overlooked.

[nimlotbradamant.livejournal.com]

Volver-ine! BWAH!!!!

(Sorry. I know it's horrible, but Wolverine and Hugh Jackman are two beings I will never, ever, get tired of.)

[tavella.livejournal.com]

Your icon, it kills me! Kills me dead with laughter!

[kateshort.livejournal.com]

I was sort of hoping that Eddie Murphy would have sung Patience with Anika. Oh well. :(

[sunihiroku.livejournal.com]

me too. maybe he's still sadface from not winning earlier.

BTW THANK YOU SO MUCH, cleo, for doing this. I'm in France and have no way to see the Oscars, so thank you.

[greenleafgurl17.livejournal.com]

Dear Academy,

Oh my God, you guys, this is getting completely RIDIC. I DO NOT FIND IT NECESSARY TO LOOK AT AMERICA THROUGH ITS MOVIES OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE SHOWING RIGHT NOW AT 11:40 P.M. I mean, seriously. Just tell us who wins Best Picture before I come over there and dropkick you in the face.

Love,
Me.

[meredithsg.livejournal.com]

we haven't even done "dead people" yet. Although I don't resent it this year because Don knots must be tributed

[sunsetsessions.livejournal.com]

Props to Gustavo Santoalalla for winning best score.

as a side note when I looked him up just now I noticed that someone had already updated the wikipedia page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gustavo_Santaolalla) about him with his most recent win.

[delle.livejournal.com]

(damn I lost my post!!)

I have to admit to being bitchy enough that I loved that Beyounce and her control issues and her insistance that she is A STAR and the written-to-be-given-awards songs were beaten out by an environmental feel-good song.

However, I was also bitchy enough to wonder if Melissa was acknowleging all her children, or just the ones by her current spouse. (Doesn't she have 2 chidren via David Crosby with her previous spouse?)

Also? Ladies! LADIES! If you are all going to wear red, you must coordinate. Three different shades of red was enough to make me cry. But I thought Anika's dress rocked.

[greenleafgurl17.livejournal.com]

Dear Academy,

FAIL.

Love,
Me.

P.S.- I really am going to bed now. This is ridiculous.

[ter369.livejournal.com]

(Heyyyy... either they played the wrong music, or Glass’s Notes on a Scandal score sounds A LOT like the one he did for The Illusionist.)

Most of Glass' output sounds like the same six note sequence. Try sitting through one of his operas, like Satryagrapha. At one point, singers hold one note for 32 measures. I think this was supposed to mean Gandhi's followers were single-minded or Glass has built a career on a whole lotta nothin'.

[pride4u2.livejournal.com]

One of my colleagues in the French department at the University at Buffalo told me a joke about Phillip Glass' repetitiveness. Because yeah, his scores sound alike. All of them.

And they had Jimmy Doohan in that tribute. I think I'm going to cry, because dude, he was awesome. Almost forgot that he's gone, actually.

[rebel-waltz.livejournal.com]

Gustavo Santoalalla also won Best Original Song a couple years ago for "Al Otro Lado Del Río" from The Motorcyle Diaries. i seriously cried when he gave his acceptance speech. they had Antonio Banderes sing it(because, you know, someone from Spain and someone from Argentina are exactly the same because they both speak Spanish) and subsiquently ruined it. so he went up and sang a line from it and it was so beautiful.

[enid-keaner.livejournal.com]

That was Jorge Drexler.

[riverchild.livejournal.com]

Damn, but we lost some good ones this past year. That montage was a lot shorter than previous years, though, or am I imagining things?

[mysticowl.livejournal.com]

What is happening with Philip Seymour Hoffman's hair? It scares me a little.

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

Did Phillip Seymour Hoffman forget to shower last EVER? Good lord.

[riverchild.livejournal.com]

Yaaaaaaay Helen Mirren! PSH cracks me up. "Hi. I'M SMASHED, SOMEONE PROP ME UP."

[jessica-dwg.livejournal.com]

Jennifer was rocking the hell out of that red dress. She and Helen Mirren are my girlcrushes of the evening.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Yay for rent-a-phantom!

[chocolat-violet.livejournal.com]

Okay so all of the Dreamgirls songs lost to Melissa. I'm having a deja-vu here... oh, yeah, this is almost the same as the year all four Desperate Housewives were nominated for -- Emmys? Golden Globes? -- and then Mary Louise Parker totally won for her role as a desperate-pot-dealing-housewife. Take that Mr Cherry.

[derangeddarling.livejournal.com]

YAY HUGH JACKMAN. *drools*

I LOVE JENNIFER HUDSON'S DRESS. SO PRETTY. Also, I love that she's noticeably a couple sizes bigger than Beyonce. It makes me very happy. But, not knowing anything about Dreamgirls...did she put weight on for the role? Or is she really that size and it's okay? I hope the latter.

I agree on big WTF for Melissa.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

She's really that size, and may have actually slimmed down a touch for the awards.

[junebugged.livejournal.com]

Beyonce just keeps making me think of that Mad TV spoof of her from like, years and years ago which I am going to link here because I think you will get a kick out of it too.



(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R59N7WyetbE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R59N7WyetbE))

[junebugged.livejournal.com]

PS - Volverine or not, I love my Hughie.

And your coverage was fabulous. Ice those fingers!!! Thank you!