This and that

[cleolinda]

Random thought of the day: I would like to recommend Ice Breakers Dragonfruit Freeze gum. It is both fruity and (sort of) minty, a combination I don't usually like. Also, it's dragonfruit-flavored. And it comes in cubes. And it's dragonfruit-flavored.

The Eragon thing I mentioned yesterday: Okay, I will caution you that I have not actually seen the movie. I have seen 7700 screen caps (by pinklabel), however, so what I'm saying is that I've seen it; I just haven't heard any of the sound. The actual plot of the movie is therefore slightly vague to me, but I've actually seen Lord of the Star Wars, so it's not hard to keep up. Ten things, therefore, that we learn about elves from Eragon:

Actually, before I start, let me set this up for you: Arya (poor Sienna Guillory. No, not Sienna "Shitsburgh" Miller; the other Sienna) has three outfits. She wears the white number at the end of the movie, and the black schoolgirl ninja ensemble in the battle before that. This leaves her in a beige/tan outfit for 90% of the movie. She's riding a horse in it, she runs into Robert Carlyle in it, Robert Carlyle subdues her with sheer fright-wigged fug, she falls down, she gets captured, at some point Bluey and the kid show up to save her, etc. She does not have an opportunity to change clothes until she gets to her kicky little black ninja skirt. Keep this in mind when I start gibbering about her shapeshifting, non-making-of-the-sense costumes.

Anyway. Ten things we learn about elves from Eragon:

1. The race of Elvenkind is descended from Pocahontas.

("You don't even want to know how many Golden Snitches died to make this scrunchie.")


2. Elves don't wear pants.

3. That said, apparently they don't chafe, either.

4. Elves especially like to frolic in their elfin schoolgirl outfits.

5. Elves put seams anywhere they damn please.

6. Elves fall down a lot. This is an interesting development, as previously it was thought that only hobbits fall down a lot.

7. Elves are allergic to bad acting.

8. In the wild, elves are one-sleeved.

(That one sleeve? Can switch sides. I know, I checked to see if maybe she's looking at the camera and we can't tell because she's in silhouette. The position of her left hand--specifically, her thumb--and her Red Knapsack of +3 Egg Transport suggests that her back is still to it. Switched. Sides.)

(Look, seriously. It's not that there's a second sleeve on the back and she's just not using it. There is no currently unoccupied sleeve! There is no second sleeve on the grassy knoll.)

9. However, after a period of captivity...

Elves will, in fact, grow a second sleeve.

This second sleeve can be distinguished by the fact that it hasn't had time to catch up to the original sleeve.


10. And finally, elves have healing powers...

... it's just that some of them aren't very good at it.

Fin.

Linkspam:

What the NFCTDWTF thing was actually about. Not that this really explains it per se...

Craig Ferguson declines to mock Britney: "For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. It should be about attacking the powerful -- the politicians, the Trumps, the blowhards -- going after them. We shouldn't be attacking the vulnerable."

Meanwhile, Britney checks into rehab. Again. ("Laughs end with bizarre Britney in rehab.")

Obama attracts celebrities and cash.

Tiny baby to leave Florida hospital.

Falcon charged with animal abuse. I was very confused when I first saw this on Google Reader, before I realized it was from CNN via SportsIllustrated.com.

Lost ring comes full circle 20 years later.

George Takei responds to Tim Hardaway.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: 'I want to be a dork.' I think of you as a total dork, Jennifer. Does that help?

WOMAN HAVING AFFAIR WITH BOAT CAPTAIN SHOULD ABANDON SHIP. IT'S IN CAPSLOCK BECAUSE IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.

Fla. teen stumbles upon mammoth tooth.

From foresthouse: "Hey, in your next linkspam, would you mind mentioning the new community I've created, a_plus_products? It's basically a place where people can go to read about/promote stellar products recommended by LJers. particle_person has already sent in the first product to review!"

Comments

[padawansguide.livejournal.com]

LOL about Eragon!!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks. I have a tendency to take things I can't shut up about and make really long, involved journal entries about them. : )

[rahrahmah.livejournal.com]

"...we dug and found that it was bigger and bigger. I thought, 'Oh my gosh, what are these? Are they people bones?'" she said.

The jaw and tooth weigh 65 pounds and are about a yard long."

...what a bright girl she must be.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's just... special.

[karadin.livejournal.com]

More reasons to love George Takei! AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!

[mustang-bex1126.livejournal.com]

Here here! I am so appreciative of his sense of humor and sense of self. My husband wasn't sure it was real at first.

[whisperwords.livejournal.com]

LOL I went with my younger sister to see Eragon in theaters (it came out right around her birthday and she looooves the book), and I remember thinking Pocahontas when the gold-stuff-with-feathers-in-the-hair thing came up. Plus, I think Sienna Guillory wore more bronzer in that movie than Paris Hilton has gotten her hands on in the last 10 years, and ALL ON HER CHEEKBONES. O_o

[queenofattolia.livejournal.com]

I could not love George Takei more than I do at this moment. ::wipes away proud tears:: Really, the man simply rocks.

[yarha.livejournal.com]

Icon love.

Yarha, Cat-owner

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

1) Re: Eragon: HEEEEEEEEEEE.

2) Lost ring comes full circle 20 years later. Frodo back from West; "I want my finger back! And a t-shirt that says 'I did it on Mt. Doom.' " Samwise divorces Rosie. Arwen awakens, marries Gondor incumbent. Galadriel disapproves of young elves going pantyless: "People! We climb trees!" Celeborn: "..."

3) Re: foresthouse's new comm: I recommended Reynolds Release No-stick Aluminum Foil. They say no-stick, and they MEAN no-stick. Before this product, I didn't not think it was possible to improve aluminum foil, but somehow they managed it.

[yarha.livejournal.com]

Apparently, Sauron's mistake was not putting his name and address on the damned ring instead of some meaningless poetry drivel. I mean, how hard is that, really?

Yarha, Bored of the Rings
This ring no other, is made by the elves,
Who'd pawn their own mothers to grab it themselves
Ruler of creeper, mortal, and scallop,
This is a sleeper that packs quite a wallop.
The power almighty rests in this lone ring.
The power, alrighty, for doing your own thing.
If broken or busted, it cannot be remade.
If found , send to Sorhed ( the postage is prepaid)
-Harvard Lampoon, Bored of the Rings

[yarha.livejournal.com]

Obama attracts celebrities and cash.

I read this as 'Obama *attacks*...'. "Finally," I said, "he's going to lay the smack down." Alas... :p

Yah, what's up with the seams in Eragon #5? Did the crack pipes accidentally get mislaid in the costume department? Not even contemporary high fashion designers hate women that much to make that sort of outfit. For the love of God, are those darts??! Maybe they sorta..drifted.

Yarha, Smackworthy

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Obama: Celebrity Destroyer.

Next on OCD, Obama vs. Mel Gibson!

[edda.livejournal.com]

*ded of elf humor*

[auzrais.livejournal.com]

>Random thought of the day<
I've actually tried it. It's yummy, but the flavor doesn't last very long in my opinion.

>Eragon/I will caution you that I have not actually seen the movie<
Don't. Well, I'm a fan of the books, but in my opinion, even though the movie is NOTHING like the book, it's not a good enough movie on its own. In my opinion, the only good things about the movie are 1. Eragon's a cutie, 2. JERMEY IRONS = HOTNESS!!!, and 3. Saphira (she was well done and cute as a baby dragon).

>but I've actually seen Lord of the Star Wars<
Hmmm, really? I haven't. *runs to look it up*

>Arya (poor Sienna Guillory<
LOVE her. She rocked in Resident Evil 2. Hope she's in 3 although when I saw the teaser trailer recently, I did not see her.

>Ten things we learn about elves from Eragon:<
I'm ready. Let's go.

>1. The race of Elvenkind is descended from Pocahontas.<
LOL! Yeah, I did wonder where the feather came from.

>("You don't even want to know how many Golden Snitches died to make this scrunchie.")<
LOL! I love you for that. :D

>2. Elves don't wear pants.<
Maybe they wear biker shorts?

>3. That said, apparently they don't chafe, either.<
They are magical creatures who are known to age VERY slowly... so perhaps they chafe VERY slowly, too. :)

>4. Elves especially like to frolic in their elfin schoolgirl outfits.<
*chuckle* I could explain that scene to you if you like. It's kind of like a dream sequence. Arya doesn't frolic. Though if she did, I wouldn't mind joining her. :)

>5. Elves put seams anywhere they damn please.<
LOL!!! In the book, they are artists, experts in everything they do. Those seams would make the bookEragonElves cringe.

>6. Elves fall down a lot. This is an interesting development, as previously it was thought that only hobbits fall down a lot.<
Yeah, Arya gets the shaft for most of the book as well as the film.

>7. Elves are allergic to bad acting.<
LOL! *cough* LOL! Hopefully if they do the second book to film, he'll get better. He's still a cutie.

>8. In the wild, elves are one-sleeved.<
I think I thought that was like a cape thingy to her ensemble that she just wrapped around one arm so she could fight with the other. Hmmm.

>(That one sleeve? Can switch sides. I know, I checked to see if maybe she's looking at the camera and we can't tell because she's in silhouette. The position of her left hand--specifically, her thumb--and her Red Knapsack of +3 Egg Transport suggests that her back is still to it. Switched. Sides.)<
*giggle fit*

>(Look, seriously. It's not that there's a second sleeve on the back and she's just not using it. There is no currently unoccupied sleeve! There is no second sleeve on the grassy knoll.)<
*more giggle fit*

>9. However, after a period of captivity... Elves will, in fact, grow a second sleeve... This second sleeve can be distinguished by the fact that it hasn't had time to catch up to the original sleeve.<
LOL!

>10. And finally, elves have healing powers... it's just that some of them aren't very good at it.<
Oh the movie is BAD. I knew that the movie would be nowhere near the book... that Hollywood would change it into something that made them happy... but most of the time, 'based on' films can be good in their own right (if you ignore the fact where the origial loosely based idea came from). Sadly, this was not one of those movies.
---
>Craig Ferguson declines to mock Britney<
Well, how nice of him. :)

>George Takei responds to Tim Hardaway<
Oh that was absolutely fabulous. :D

>Jennifer Love Hewitt: 'I want to be a dork'<
I don't mind her. Actually, I kind of like her. I like her music some... I really wish she'd get a hit because I think she's talented.
I also like the show, but I'm sad that CBS cancelled Judging Amy and (more importantly) Joan of Arcadia to put the show up. *ugh*

[/random babble]

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

>but I've actually seen Lord of the Star Wars<
Hmmm, really? I haven't. *runs to look it up*

Well, by which I meant that I'd seen LOTR and Star Wars, but it was quicker to say it that way. And kind of getting at what the movie turned out like.

[eruvadhril.livejournal.com]

Eragon thing = Heeeeeeee!

I would like to comment on the magic horses

[7tree-hugger.livejournal.com]

They had two horses that rode very fast (but within horsey limits).

Then they got on a dragon and went very very very fast.
However, after dismounting from the dragon, the horses were STILL there.

Magic horses.
They come when you call.

(magic horses are however unable to walk along a path about 1.5m wide and horse riders must dismount and leave horses behind)

As I said in the theatre at the time:
"There are some that ride dragons, and they are known as dragon riders. And there are some that ride horses, and they are known as the horse riders. But the horses are magic"

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

Oh gosh, Takei is BRILLIANT. LMAO.

[wirrrn.livejournal.com]

Yay, Mammoth!

But how could anyone mistake the bones of a Prehistoric elephant ancestor for "People Bones"? Did they think they'd accidentally exhumed John Candy or something?!

[christwise.livejournal.com]

Re, #7...

It's Eowyn and Wormtail! Hi Eowyn and Wormtail!

Thing I have learned about humans: they wear very attractive leather pants. When I saw the ginormous poster of him and those delightful pants I felt dirty and checked his age on imdb. Oh thank god he's of age, back to stalking DanRad.

[word-herder.livejournal.com]

Haven't seen Eragon either, and now, seeing the screencaps, I'm glad I didn't. The book was okay, but it didn't deserve that.

Excellent snarkiness. Hee.

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

I thought Craig Ferguson's monologue was honest and brilliant and really quite touching. Good on you, sir.

(Britney Spears is only TWENTY-FIVE? God.)

George Takei just gets cooler and cooler, doesn't he? I feel like I've been in on something with the Classic Trek.

[nekoama.livejournal.com]

Is your icon from that Jett Jaguar Godzilla movie? Did MST3K actually do a bit on it, or did you just shop that over? Because if there is a MST of it I must find it now. D:

[sadasi.livejournal.com]

Hee! Galadriel is rolling in her cinematic grave.
I think LOTR has ruined me for all other fantasy epics (though with Eragon, I use "epic" very loosely). I went to see Eragon, without having read the books, because my cousins had raved about the books over and over. I HOPE that books were a hell of lot better than the movie, because the acting was awkward (think Philosopher's Stone - movie version), the plot was rushed (my cousin confirmed later, they cut out a lot) and I sat through the thing, recognising plot devices, going "Lord of Rings... Lord of Rings... Harry Potter... Star Wars...".
Some would disagree, but overall I was not impressed. As my mom said, I just watched it for the pretty blue Dragon.

[dramedy.livejournal.com]

I thought the same of the books. :/ So, no you're not alone there.

[duncanatrix.livejournal.com]

Incidentally...Britney's left rehab...again. (http://www.tmz.com/2007/02/21/brit-cant-handle-rehab/)

[theatre-angel.livejournal.com]

Truthfully, you would probably get the same thing out of Eragon with sound as you would without. ;-)

[distant-cord.livejournal.com]

I should learn not to read your posts while in class. Elf sleeves FTW!

Seriously though, where do you find the time/patience to look at nearly 8-fraking-thousand screencaps???

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, 1) I was doing it for a friend and her costume site (picking out good detail shots so she wouldn't have to), and 2) I have a really good photo editor/viewer, ACDSee, that allows me to sort and move through images really quickly.

Although, really, this one did kind of test my patience. The last several movies I've gone through for her site--The Illusionist, Marie Antoinette, The Prestige, what have you--have only had about 4000 screencaps each, i.e., half as many, and I can burn through those in like an hour.

[starlady42.livejournal.com]

Linkspam: that UAH professor who was arrested for strangling his wife and dumping her body in the Tennessee River? That one? (http://www.decaturdaily.com/decaturdaily/news/061109/zakin.shtml) He remarried. (http://waff.com/Global/story.asp?S=6116512) Way to look innocent, there. (Also: who marries someone who is on trial for the murder of his wife?)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Wait, what? I totally missed that entire story!

[raven-feathers.livejournal.com]

That one sleeve? Can switch sides. I know, I checked to see if maybe she's looking at the camera and we can't tell because she's in silhouette. The position of her left hand--specifically, her thumb--and her Red Knapsack of +3 Egg Transport suggests that her back is still to it. Switched. Sides.

hmm, i'm not sure. or maybe when her sleeve switches sides, her dominant hand does, too? if you look at the blazing trees o' flame behind her in the first two shots, then the third, they're incredibly, remarkably different. you'd have to see the movie to know, though, and i'd really rather not. ever.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

You know, I did start to wonder if maybe they just reversed the shot or something.

"For my next magical trick..." *thud*

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

Hey Cleo,

As an aficionado of 19th-century magicians and bizarre death, I thought you might be interested in the sad tale of Washington Irving Bishop, Cataleptic Mentalist (as retold in my journal (http://laughingacademy.livejournal.com/64343.html), with links and illustration).

[lauramcvey.livejournal.com]

"Elves have healing powers . . . it's just that some of them aren't very good at it."
ROTFL. That's yet another plot point that Paolini screwed up on, but if he's done it ight, the book wouldn't be Star Wars in Middle Earth. The movie's okay- if you like cheesy cliche fantasy, which I do. If you just want the basics, I can send you the parody I wrote (I have new respect for you- they're harder than they look).

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the mention. :)

That Eragon stuff killed me. When I first saw the trailer, I was too scared away by the this-is-a-mishmash-of=every-bad-science-fiction-book-ever vibe to even look into it further. But now, I see I was wrong! What a unique chance to learn about elves in the wild! Heh.