Golden Globes, part 4

[cleolinda]

Charlie Sheen--ooo, Kate Winslet in the audience looks good. He's here to present a clip and/or montage from Bobby, because his brother directed it. Look, here in Cleoland, we cut to the chase. "Emilio! Stand up! STAND UP!" Every time I see anything about this movie, all I can think is, You know the only reason he was ever able to get Anthony Hopkins to do this movie was because they both had the misfortune to be in Freejack. What, you couldn't find a bit for Mick Jagger?

Steve Carell! I love you, Steve Carell! I do not like your script, however, as it is rather of the dumb. "Best Program For This New Thing We're Thinking About Calling Television," or something. All of this is a long, unfunny way of getting around to the fact that Best Animated Film is a new category. (Whoa, Monster House deployed a uvula joke? Damn.) Winner: Cars. Eh. I haven't seen any of them but I am firmly Team Uvula right now. John Lassiter loves cartoons and he wants you do know it. He does deploy a big shoutout for Tony Shalhoub, so he's back in my good graces.

"Last year's winner for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical"--oh God, is this Jamie Foxx? No! It's Joaquin Phoenix! I have never been so glad to see you, Joaquin? Best Actress, Drama. Huuuuge cheer for Toni Collette. Beyoncé concentrates very hard on looking doe-eyed and bashful. Giant cheer for Meryl Streep. "AndtheGoldenGlobegoestoMerylStreep," blurts out Joaquin, fleeing the stage. "Vogue" plays over an even bigger cheer. Get your drink on, Meryl! "I told Lorraine, she came to a birthday party at my house with snakes... we had snakes... but then we moved back east. I've worked with everybody in the room!" Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. She pulls out her thick black-frame glasses and a list of people. "It's been such a fun year to watch movies because of you gals," the other actresses. Kate Winslet looks genuinely touched, perhaps to the point of tears. Renée Zellweger looks squinty. What color is Meryl's dress? It's so gauzy I can't tell. White? Beige? Peach? "Darling Emily Blunt... where are you, darling? Darling Annie Hathway... dreadful Stanley Tucci..." They donated the movie's clothes to Equality Now and breast cancer research, which is fantastic. Then Meryl foments rebellion by telling people who didn't get to see "Little Children, or Pan's Labyrinth, or... all of these other movies [waving notepaper], I just saw Volver!," to have a "quiet, authoritative" word with their local theater manager. More cheers.

"Coming up! Jamie Foxx!" Aww, hell.

Comments

[londonsparrow.livejournal.com]

I enjoy hearing Steve Carell reference Melies, having had to watch said film in my World Cinema class.
Joaquin! I love how I've barely heard of any of the upcoming films they keep mentioning.
Meryl Streep is awesome. AWESOME. "Oh, shut up, it's not that long."

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I love how they have no choice but to keep showing Helen Mirren since she's either in each nominated movie or show or nominated herself. Why do I get the impression there's a cameraman sitting at her table who isn't allowed to leave for the duration of the show tonight? Heh. :)

[lumaria.livejournal.com]

Did I miss why you hate Jamie Foxx? :)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I got extremely irritated with the way he did the exact same attention-hound call-and-response "Heyyyy-o!" speech at every single awards show circa Ray. I just hate the way he always seems to be grabbing for attention, I guess.

[elisa0984.livejournal.com]

I really hope that someone has a pic of Beyonce after they announced Meryl's win.

[brittastic14.livejournal.com]

Oh grrrl, I want that pic so that I can make an icon that says PWNED! on it, because I cant stand Beyonce, did you hear what she said during an interview:

http://www.tmz.com/2006/12/05/beyonce-i-wish-i-was-as-big-as-jennifer-hudson/

aww gawd, what a diva! I love a good diva but this is just jealosy right here. Plus Meryl should of DEFINETLY won for Prada because she was amazing in that movie! and plus shes just the shit in general so it just makes it all the sweeter that she beat out Beyonce.

[elisa0984.livejournal.com]

Terribly transparent. Oh well, she's probably gearing up for the Oscars.

[obigrrl.livejournal.com]

WTF??????

i just saw Prince behind Eddie Murphy!!!!???

[rorqual.livejournal.com]

Yes! Too good to come get his award? Hmm.....

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Hey, I thought Prince wasn't there! He's sitting right behind Eddie Murphy. What, was he in the bathroom during his award?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Also:

Dear Eddie Murphy, this is your warning. No more moronic comedies. No more fucking fat suits. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR SHOWING US YOU CAN ACT. Sincerely, me.

[luna-k.livejournal.com]

Hee.

[luna-k.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your very entertaining coverage tonight. ;)

And Meryl Streep? Fucking rocks my socks. Her acceptance speech was awesome.

[padawansguide.livejournal.com]

Actually, Cars was really cute!

I love Meryl!

I didn't see Kate Winslet, but I did see Reese, and I like her hairstyle - she looks cute with bangs...

[delle.livejournal.com]

how bitchy am I that I'm *thrilled* that neither Beyonce nor Brad Pitt has won a damn thing?

and too funny that Helen Mirren comment above! she *is* nominated for just about everything, isn't she?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Aww, hee. I kind of like Brad Pitt if only because he seems to have such a strange sense of humor, like that time he let himself be "abducted" by strangers in a van on--was it Punk'd? Jackass? Something.

[brittastic14.livejournal.com]

Whats do you have against Brad Pitt?! I think he's great.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

I was impressed with the uvula joke too! That makes me want to see the movie a bit more now.