While the Drano is doing its thing

[cleolinda]

So it's been a Cinderella kind of day, but I figure that's what January is for--if you can't get motivated to get your shit together at New Year's, I don't know when else you could. So it's been a lot of mopping and laundering and bagging of trash and unclogging of sinks around here. I mean, yes, I was completely useless on New Year's Day itself, doing nothing but reading and watching TV, but those New Year's superstitions at Snopes had me afraid to do anything that might be symbolic--nothing's supposed to leave the house, I can imagine how pouring something down the drain might be symbolic, and so on. Of course, you could also substitute "had me afraid" with "encouraged me to be a lazy cuss" and you wouldn't be far wrong.

(One more thought on the Twilight Zone marathon: You know, a commercial about how "you can reshape your entire body with one! light! portable! system!" might not be the best thing to run right after "Number Twelve Looks Just Like You." Either that, or someone in programming has a fantastic sense of humor.)

Meanwhile, I was fairly relieved to change out my calendar on New Year's Eve (another superstition of mine: never go into the new year with an old calendar). In my own naive way, I'm convinced that 2007 has to be a good year, because it couldn't be any worse than 2006. Again, I say naive because of course it could be worse, because I'm here and I have all my limbs and mental faculties and a nice place to live and I'm not begging on the street. I guess I'm thinking in terms of my own depression--I couldn't possibly screw up my life, mostly by inaction, than I did last year. It's got to be uphill from here. The Wheel of Fortune is my personal card, and I have to believe that I'm cycling upwards again.


Poll: Americans see gloom, doom in 2007. Oh, bullshit. I have talked to so many people who agreed that 2006 was, for some inexplicable cosmic reason, a horrible year and we were all relieved that it was over. Stop calling all the pessimists, survey people.

Camel sacrifice, spray-on condom among 2006 oddities.

Irritating, worn-out words of '06 banned.

"Rose Parade participants dressed as Star Wars characters, including close to 200 fans from the '501st Legion' in Stormtrooper costumes, make their way down Colorado Boulevard during the 118th Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena January 1, 2007. The three-piece 'Star Wars Spectacular,' an entry that celebrated the 1977 release of Star Wars, the first film in the sci-fi saga, was a huge draw for many. 'Look mommy, it's Darth Vader!' screamed 5-year-old Allegra Rechner as she wiggled in her bleacher seat to get a better look. The parade's Grand Marshal was "Star Wars" creator George Lucas, who rode in a 1911 Pope-Hartford, Model Y." I am deeply tired of Star Wars, but even I have to say: well-played, Mr. Lucas.

Some 800 inmates riot in California prison.

Former Beatles stalker murdered in California.

'Museum' tops box office with $37.8M; Stiller, Smith achieve box office milestones.

Colorado woman selling snow on eBay.

Ark. man discovers 2.37-carat diamond: "An Arkansas man has found a 2.37-carat white diamond at the world's only diamond-bearing site where visitors are allowed to search for and keep the gems they find. Gary Dunlap of Jefferson named the diamond he found the Star of Thelma to honor his wife of more than 10 years. Dunlap's find was the fourth-largest diamond found in 2006 at the Crater of Diamonds State Park in Murfreesboro. In all, 486 diamonds have been found at the park this year."

Reading diet articles could be unhealthy. You too can look just like Number Twelve!

piratefanatic: "A new addition to the Threatened Species List: OMGWTFPolarBears!" Alas, poor Iorek.

A number of links from istoo: Neil Gaiman wants to make sure that creative people make their wills; www.writely.com's online text editor has been acquired by Google, which means you can log in with your Gmail address, plus store, edit, backup, and collaborate on files; and prompt_a_day features half-sentences to get you started on a potential story.

Woman charged with malicious castration. With her bare hands.

psammead: Indiana Jones and the Retirement Home of Death finally goes into production.

Daniela Edburg photographs our secret cravings: "For anyone who has eaten the whole box, or bag, or carton the photographs in this series make light of our secret binges. Here, the consequences of indulgence are tabloid or monster movie deaths." My favorites: bananas, cotton candy, and Tupperware. (Death by Shampoo is something of an anomaly, as it was Edburg's first composition in the series. The rest seem to focus on food in some way.)

Comments

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

I would often look at the irony in advertizements, and I would wonder "Is that accidental, or is that just somebody with a twisted sense of humor wondering if se can get away with it?"

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Those Daniela Edburg pieces are amazing. I want to see her do Death by Farscape.

[alankria.livejournal.com]

I've always believed in the power of a fresh start, no matter how symbolic it might be. Hopefully the new year will take a curve upwards very soon and keep heading in that direction. :)

[greyduck.livejournal.com]

Now we have a 'chipotle' burrito with 'chipotle' marinated meat, 'chipotle' peppers, sprinkled with a 'chipotle' seasoning and smothered in a 'chipotle' sauce. Time to give this word a rest.

Amen! You know, I really enjoy eating at the restaurant which bears the name, but... yeah. I'm done with the word in general, now that so many other places are advertising their "chipotle such-and-such."

Don't even get me started on "ask your doctor." *grumble*

[edda.livejournal.com]

*really like actual chipotle stuff*

[captainsblog.livejournal.com]

Holidays around this house always mean one of two things, if not both: people getting sick and plumbing backing up. Not that there's necessarily a cause-and-effect relationship, mind.

The ill-timed commercial also echoed with me (echoed with me). Earlier today, I switched in my car from a CD to the radio, which had been tuned to an AM station. AM always seems to play the weirdest assortment of national spots, without much thought about the order. Thus, coming in at the tail end of one, I got to hear this unintended tandem:

[kid's voices] "MORE OVALTINE, PLEASE!"

{authoritative male voice] "Do you have trouble going to the bathroom?"

Pity it wasn't still October. A Republican National Campaign Committee ad would have completed the trifecta.

[naeelah.livejournal.com]

Ha! I watched part of the Twilight Zone marathon with a group of friends, and I think every single jaw in the room dropped at that commercial.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

You know, a commercial about how "you can reshape your entire body with one! light! portable! system!" might not be the best thing to run right after "Number Twelve Looks Just Like You." Either that, or someone in programming has a fantastic sense of humor.

Cleo, did you see the "critical response" at the bottom of that Wikki article you linked? Apparently the original commercial wasn't much better.

[pugfantus.livejournal.com]

I saw a show on The Travel Channel called The The Best Places to Find Cash and Treasure (http://travel.discovery.com/fansites/cash-treasures/cash-treasures.html) a couple weeks ago and they did part of an episode on the Crater of Diamonds State Park. There was one guy there that has found like 300 diamonds over the last 20-30yrs that he just keeps in a big plastic show case that he carries around with him. He had no idea of their value, nor did he care. He just "don't need the money". Yeah, the park is just a few square acres of land that they till up, let you dig as many 5gal buckets of dirt that you want, and wash it out, and then you just like work it like you were panning for gold. Raw diamonds have a weird shine to them, and nothing sticks to them, so you can easily pick them out among the gravel.

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

I must say that the Stormtrooper army with accompanying Imperial high school marching band did inspire my Star Wars geek heart. It held a bit of the fantasy I remember watching the series for the first time.

[palmetto.livejournal.com]

The Stormtrooper carrying Germany's flag was a childhood friend of mine! ♥

Twelve Days of Cleolinda

[nevermoreaddict.livejournal.com]

Looky: http://thesurrealist.co.uk/12days.php?user=cleolinda
Happy New Year!

[alpheratz.livejournal.com]

2006 was actually really good to me. I graduated, found a job, and moved away to the East coast, which I've wanted to do for ages.

*so guilty*

[divabat.livejournal.com]

twas half and half. I had a dud job for a few months, didn't get my dream job, and was depressed over a uni subject, but I also got to perform and I have a dream boyfriend to make up for it. :)

[maliekai.livejournal.com]

It was awesome for me too! See below.

[sagitare.livejournal.com]

"I believe he needed more than 50 stitches to repair the damage, but he is back home at this point," police Cpl. Brad Stevens said. "All we can tell you is that the injury was done with her hands."

Yeah, because the cop was probably too bloody freaked out to even think about the specifics of the injury, much less describe them. He probably did the interview with his own hands locked firmly over his crotch.

[squishysquidgy.livejournal.com]

Hee!

I found the article slightly odd, in the way it was "story details here. Some more story details. maybe some more. The woman doesn't have a listed phone number. Some more story details here. And we'll end off with some more story details".

Just what does the woman not having a listed phone number have to do with the article? It came out of nowhere ...

[neveth.livejournal.com]

I imagine they said it simply as a reason why they didn't have any statements from the woman who did the ripping and maiming. "Her number isn't listed so we couldn't call her to ask what the hell happened." Possibly just an odd way of saying someone couldn't be reached for comment.

At least that's what I think. I may be wrong! Hopped up on decongestants and tea, I am.

[squishysquidgy.livejournal.com]

That's what I'd thought, too. It just seemed so odd though, being thrown in there without any explanation.

[shesnotallthere.livejournal.com]

I have never, ever been so glad to see a year go. I stayed up for the express purpose of making certain that it did.

I'm also of the opinion that, short of somehow setting myself on fire, I couldn't possibly screw myself up more than I did in 2006. Ergo, things have to be better this year by default.

How does one go about finding one's personal tarot card, anyway?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Actually, cards tend to be assigned to planets and astrological signs, and it just so happens that Jupiter's is the WOF (I'm a Sagittarius, which is also connected to Temperance), and given the nature of my bipolar II cycles, I thought it was fitting. Or you could just go through what they mean and pick one yourself, if you didn't like the one assigned to whatever.

http://www.stariq.com/Main/Articles/P0001794.htm
(scroll to the bottom of the page for more)

[shesnotallthere.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the link and info. I'm a Sagittarius as well, and the WOF does seem fitting.

It certainly explains that "trapped in a tumble dryer" sensation I often feel.

[soleta-nf.livejournal.com]

I have talked to so many people who agreed that 2006 was, for some inexplicable cosmic reason, a horrible year and we were all relieved that it was over.

Same here. If 2007 is worse than 2006, I will cry huge, fat crocodile tears.

"Stop calling all the pessimists, survey people. "

[kid-lit-fan.livejournal.com]

Considering that 25% of those polled thought that 2007 would bring the second coming of Christ, I'm guessing that the respondents weren't the most logical knives in the drawer.

[maliekai.livejournal.com]

While I sympathize with everyone who had an awful year, I have to say 2006 was pretty much the best year on record for me. So, y'know, it didn't suck for everyone. :)

[raven-feathers.livejournal.com]

i'm so jaded. i actually thought the CO woman was selling cocaine on eBay. *facepalm*

[kateshort.livejournal.com]

Oh, you missed the OTHER AP article written from the same exact poll data:

(http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/optimism_ap_poll)

(I mean, WTF, y'all?)

And although I'd never seen that ep of Twilight Zone, it makes Scott Westerfield's Uglies / Pretties / IForgotTheThirdTitle series a little less unique. :(


Ooh, and if you're willing to spread the linky:

norabombay just created the community the_white_whale for posting sections of Moby Dick.

Read through the context of modern times, the sections she's discussed in her journal have been OMGWTFBBQ slashtastic. And unintentionally funny in myriad other ways.

Even if you ignore the snark, it's still reading a novel online in nice little manageable chunks.

If you want to know more, just visit the community info page or her info announcement (http://norabombay.livejournal.com/814824.html) from her own journal.

[kateshort.livejournal.com]

... and I seem to have left out the correct AP poll link above. Let's try this again:

AP poll: Americans optimistic for 2007

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/optimism_ap_poll

[agatha-mandrake.livejournal.com]

I remember watching the miniseries of Brave New World, which was filled with slogans like, "I hate old stuff! I want new stuff!", and immediately following it was an ad for the new, blue American Express card, which was filled with perky twenty-somethings going, "I want what I want now". It kind of freaked me out.

[edda.livejournal.com]

I agree that 2007 is going to rock, mostly because Castration Guy clearly Took One For The Team, metaphorically speaking. Or had one taken. Whichever. (And when is castration not malicious? On second thought, never mind. The internet probably has an example, and I really, really don't want to know.)

Ark. man discovers 2.37-carat diamond

*represses "Arkenstone" joke*

[edda.livejournal.com]

Also may I point out that I'm a Capricorn and our tarot card is THE DEVIL MOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

And yet I am not routinely escorted backstage at rock concerts the better to snort cocaine off of hookers and help guitarists enter into pacts with my lord and master. Apparently I wound up in the clerical pool instead of the sales division. Those guys get all the perks.

[jenny0.livejournal.com]

I luuurve the Drop Dead Gorgeous photos. I did a similar series of paintings a few years ago (similar to her original idea of famous images with strange new details) so I wish she'd done more, as the 'Death by Shampoo' was a fantastic photo.

'Death By Nutella' is totally how they'll find me (3 weeks later, half eaten by Alsatians).

[kosher-jenny.livejournal.com]

(from the banned words list)

They'll pry the word awesome from my cold dead lips.

[morgan-c-hoax.livejournal.com]

I love those Daniela Edburg pictures. I think my favourite is what I have dubbed "The Bananas."

[cassildra.livejournal.com]

For your next linkspam:

I predict this will explode like Terri Schaivo did.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,,1982370,00.html