cleolinda: (Default)
cleolinda ([personal profile] cleolinda) wrote2003-12-11 11:02 pm
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Sleepy

Think I'm coming down with Mom's hell-cold. Laid on bed, read Beowulf all afternoon; Lucky Dog lay beside me on his back and snored. Was bitchass cold. Wore chenille socks. Had toast for dinner.

Oh, here's something interesting--I've submitted my latest three revisions to [livejournal.com profile] poetryslamming out of sheer curiosity. I read some of the other poem/comment threads, and while some of the criticism was pretty blunt (I have a Southerner's tendency to be over-tactful, if there is such a thing), it was all constructive--specific advice on line breaks or word choices, which you don't tend to see often. Also, with "slamming" in the name of the community, it's not like you're going to be taken by surprise or anything. So basically I'm curious to see if I make the grade. Or their grade. Or whatever. I keep revising and revising and revising, so any sort of radical suggestion might actually help.

Tomorrow: hair cut!

[identity profile] gardenwaltz.livejournal.com 2003-12-12 08:07 am (UTC)(link)
i've still got [livejournal.com profile] poetry_slamming friended in order to read the applications and crit, although they rejected me *le sigh*. thus, i am responding in your journal and not there. i just wanted to tell you that your poems are incredible, head and shoulders above the rest. i agree that in the last poem, you could cut many of your opening lines. i wouldn't about the new poem fitting the old title, but perhaps instead revise the title as well.