cleolinda | Wow, I am ranty today

The weather is gorgeous and golden and cold, and I'm going to wash my hair and push forward with NaNo. I think part of my problem earlier was that I was trying to start at the beginning and force my way through, and that has never, ever worked for me. So I'm going to try to see what I can get written up from later in the story and add that to my word count.

My mother wants to go see a movie on Sunday, but I don't know that there's another one out that she'd want to see. I'm trying to figure out if this is a gambit on her part to go see The Prestige again or what.

Letters to God end up in ocean, unread. The title just struck me as something so sad and beautiful. And then the end of the article made me sick.

U.S. needs "sexual literacy" - ex-surgeon generals: "U.S. efforts to promote abstinence as a cornerstone of sexual education have not lowered levels of sexually transmitted diseases, two former U.S. surgeon generals said on Thursday." GOD, abstinence-only education pisses me off. It's like refusing to teach kids to drive and then saying, "Now, kids, cars are bad! Don't get in any cars!" "But there's no public transportation in this town--" "Bye, kids! Stay safe and out of cars!" The essence of futility, in other words. They're going to "get in cars" anyway, and now they don't even know what they're doing. (I'm sure it's a flawed analogy, but work with me here.) And here's another thought, genius: okay, so they don't have sex until they're married. What happens after they're married? They still don't know what they're doing! I'm not saying I want y'all to issue the Kama Sutra as a textbook, but there is no excuse for young married women who think that you can't get pregnant while breastfeeding. There are entire message boards and LJ communities dedicated to letting girls ask the dumbest questions EVER about pregnancy and their bodies because YOU WON'T TEACH THEM. "Well, the parents should educate their children!" What if the parents also had abstinence-only sex education? I mean, yes, I feel like parents should be saying, "This is what sex is, respect yourself and wait for someone who cares about you," but there's a lot of things that a lot of people have managed not to learn--or be taught. That's why people go to school, so that they can partake of knowledge, where the teachers have textbooks and videos and visual aids and up-to-date facts and figures. There are things you should be teaching kids about sex, disease, pregnancy and responsibility, and "Don't do it" isn't going to cover it. (/rant)

Kanye West sore loser at MTV Europe Awards. But I think his rant was actually shorter than mine up there.

Miss Great Britain stripped of title for dating one of the judges. The best part is, the article seems to be saying that she was chirping on about shoes the guy got her for Christmas, and people went, "Wait, you said you didn't start dating him until the pageant started in FEBRUARY."

More Chuck. I'm thinking the Armstrongs should take this show on the road.

Rumor: Michael Hoffman to [possibly] direct Half-Blood Prince. Who? "Director of A Midsummer Night's Dream, Restoration and Soapdish." I'm telling you, every directorial choice after Cuarón, who at least had done A Little Princess in addition to being totally awesome, has made progressively less sense. The guy who did Four Weddings and a Funeral? Sure! How about the guy who did The Girl in the Cafe? Clearly experienced with fantasy movies and young actors! By the time we get to Harry Potter and the Blah of the Blee, we're gonna be down to some newbie they found at a film festival.

Actually, we'll probably be back to Chris Columbus, because I've heard rumblings that he wants to come back for the last one. There are two kinds of Potter movie fans, and neither one understands the other, so I'll try to be as objective here as possible, but I will probably fail: there are people who prefer the Columbus movies, with their vivid Christmas-colored cinematography (I can't think of any other way to explain it. The first two movies just remind me of Christmas) and slavish attention to book accuracy, and there are people who prefer Cuarón's and/or Newell's adaptations on the grounds that they're more visually inventive and the kids are better directed. I'm in the latter camp. And yes, I will admit up front that some of the changes to the geography of the sets were arbitrary and confusing, and that some key pieces of information were left out of both movies that left casual viewers scratching their heads. And no, I'm not sure why Dumbledore went all shouty in Goblet of Fire, either. But the fact is that time seems to slow to a crawl in Columbus's adaptations (which, hey, if you don't ever want your Potter movie to end, might be a good thing), to the point where the second half of Chamber of Secrets saps my entire will to live. I don't think I could sit through a Columbus-directed version of the final book, and, quite frankly, I don't think he has the dramatic chops for it. Both the books and the movies seem to age with the character, to the point where the series began, whether Rowling intended it or not, with a children's book. But it's not going to end with one--it's going to be young adult at the very least. For most of his career, Columbus has directed children's movies and broad comedies. The current Potter movies are beyond him. (No, Rent does not change my mind.)

So, if I'm so wise, who should direct the last two movies? I don't know. I'm beyond suggesting Gilliam, because it finally occurred to me that it would be the biggest fiasco ever. If the man--who's been plagued with studio interference all his career--can't even make the frickin' Brothers Grimm without getting shit from the corporate office, can you imagine the war zone that a Harry Potter movie would be? Books would be written about it. I'm also beyond hoping Cuarón comes back, because I linked my general Prisoner of Azkaban review on the POA/15M, and people are STILL arguing on that entry two years later. And the anti-Cuarón camp is still very, very angry (which is only fair, I guess, because I get very, very angry about Columbus). There's probably someone who's good at drawing mature performances out of young actors, juggling large casts and multiple storylines, knowing what to cut and what to keep, and dealing with an anxious studio. I just don't know who it is. I don't even think Peter Jackson would be a good idea--I don't think he'd be able to come in on the end of someone else's series and bat cleanup, plus he likes his gore too much. I'm sure there's someone who fits the bill; I just don't know who it is.