adventures in the front yard

[cleolinda]

So... Sister Girl was having a giant screaming fight on the phone. This, I decided, was an excellent opportunity to take the dogs outside for a walkie-walkie.

You will recall that our deck was torn down and rebuilt. It's finished, but they're still building the fences: no backyard for dogses. So I put Lucky and Sam and Meko on their leashes and troop 'em all outside. And we're sort of lolling about out there, grass coming in green, all the trees blossoming, pretty pretty spring, blah blah blah...

"Bok bok bok bok bok..."

I look over, and there's a rooster in our yard. Keep in mind, now, that I live in a suburb of Birmingham. Nice schools. Good shopping. No livestock.

"Bok bok bok bok bawwk..."

It's a black rooster with a brown head and wings; its tail is black with an emerald sheen to it.

"Bok bok bok bok bok..."

The poms are sort of stupidly nosing in the bushes on the other side of the yard. Lucky, the spaniel, starts straining at his leash and growling. He sees... his nemesis the Shaggy Cat, lying in the yard on the other side of the driveway. The rooster is ten feet away, even closer than the cat, and he doesn't see it at all.

"Bok bok bok bok bok..."

So I've got one dog (on a leash) struggling to get at a cat, and two other dogs (on leashes) on the opposite side of the yard. The leashes have those big bulky blue handles with the retractable leash-wires, and it's hard to hold two in one hand; sometimes Sam can pull it right out of your hand. The bok bok bok bok bok is starting to sound like the ticking of a time bomb, and I'm standing there like a condemned man about to be quartered by four runaway horses: Cat! Dog! Cat! Dog! Leash! Bok! CAT! DOG! DOG! DOG!

"Bok bok bok bok bok... B'KAWWWWWWWWK!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

It's on--the dog sees the rooster, the cat sees the rooster, the rooster sees the cat, the dog jerks back to the cat, the cat is on the run, the dog is chasing the cat across the street, the little dogs bring up the flank yipping all the way, and the dogwalker is yanked bodily across the yard over a dozen bushes, two trees, and a parked car. Once the Shaggy Cat has escaped behind the flower pots across the street--out of sight, out of mind--I'm able to drag Lucky back home (growling and whining all the way, because You Have Not Seen the Last of Him, Shaggy Cat!), and the poms come running whenever I yell "Treat!"

The rooster is still out in the front yard. The last time I saw him, he was strutting across the front step where the dogs could see him through the glass door, just to piss them off.

"B'KAWK!"

Comments

[shoukinkasegi.livejournal.com]

"the dog sees the rooster, the cat sees the rooster, the rooster sees the cat......"
This is one helluva truly awesome post. Pets gone wild!

[gracefallson-me.livejournal.com]

well loorrrrrrrrd. sould like you have one hell ova time with your pets. my animals can get that way too. so i hear ya girl.

[reynardine.livejournal.com]

The rooster is still out in the front yard. The last time I saw him, he was strutting across the front step where the dogs could see him through the glass door, just to piss them off.

The nerve of that poultry! LOL! Just like those brazen squirrels that like to chatter just outside our window and drive our cats absolutely wild. XD XD XD

Re: bwahahaha

[mellifera.livejournal.com]

I LOVE your icon!!

[qwertytigger.livejournal.com]

Hi, just friended you after reading your amazingly witty 15 minute PoA...

It seems that Interesting Things happen to you and you have the incredible ability to relay them to the world in a very entertaining fashion. NOthing exciting ever happens to me, so I must live vicariously through people like you.

Being a farm girl, I found your story of the Rooster highly amusing...

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Eh, I actually lead a very, very boring life. It's all in how you tell the story. :)

[jewbacca1897.livejournal.com]

So true, so true

[jewbacca1897.livejournal.com]

Greatest icon ever

[qwertytigger.livejournal.com]

Isn't it though?! Of course I can brag on it 'cause I'm not the one that made it, nightmarezangel is the one that deserves all the praise for that one...

It's a shame that those boys aren't older or that I'm not 10 years younger ^_~

[jewbacca1897.livejournal.com]

Well, in England, legal age is 16, so you just need 2 years at the most!

[qwertytigger.livejournal.com]

I would still feel like a dirty old woman if they were 16 and I was 27+, ya know...
And I have to wonder how I would feel if my son (who is 5) was involoved with someone 10 years his senior...
*pretends I'm fourteen so I don't have to feel pervy*

[jewbacca1897.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, well I guess that is a bit weird. But I am only 20, so that works out for me =P

Re: *laughing*

[mellifera.livejournal.com]

If only you had a camera......

[kotszok.livejournal.com]

You do realize that animals are insane, right? LOL

I was out in the country and we went to get milk with our cousins. This was at some little farm, and we went in and lo and behold, the hugest turkey ever comes out and starts attacking us... well, ME primarily. We were so scared and then suddenly this little old lady comes out of the farmhouse on one crutch, goes up to the turkey, starts yelling at it and...

*gulp* Picks up the crutch and smashes it square into the middle of the turkey's long neck. I was sure it was broken, but the turkey gave a sad, half-hearted "gobble" and ran away. That was the last we saw of Mr. Evil Turkey. Until we went back for more milk a few days later. The turkey was back and nastier than ever. LOL

[azdaja-dafema.livejournal.com]

"Bok bok bok bok bok... B'KAWWWWWWWWK!"

reminds me of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. There is a village, and in that village, there are a few chickens. You kick them, they go "bwaak" you stab them with a sword, they go "Bwaak" you shoot them with an arrow, it goes "BWaak", but... if you put a bomb by them and blow them up... "BWAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKK!!!!!" Suddenly, the chicken population of the entire world of Hyrule flies in on you, chasing you out of the village. If you just stay, they will kill you with their evil 'i will run over you cackling' routine. you cannot hurt them. *shoots*

That said, roosters are evil, but turkeys are worse. When I was young, about 3, i was innocently chasing ducks on my gran's farm, and suddenly bumped into something feathery. I backed up. I looked up... Evil bird advancing... Cue scream and angry hobbling old lady attacking the bird. Why are old ladies evil? But, I don't mind because she scared off the larger-than-me bird.

~~

Well, that was a useless waste of a comment, wasn't it?

[gniko.livejournal.com]

The old Zelda.. not the original, I think it was the snes version after the crappy one where you could jump and did the whole paltform business, which sucked cause they put in all these pitfalls and I hated the soundtrack.. I ramble! That zelda I'm thinking of, there's a village with a fenced in yard and the yard's full of chickens/roosters and if you hit them, they sqwak, if you shoot them they sqwak, if you kill them 10,000 chickens rain from the heavens until you leave the yard.

[azdaja-dafema.livejournal.com]

No, I was talking about Kakariko village in Zelda: Ocarina of Time, but I guess it is the same principle, just updated in the newer versions, although when I say new, I mean, about 5 years or so back.
*admires Spike* nice avatar

[gniko.livejournal.com]

I used to hate walking the dogs as a child cause my parents preffered to have these largish, strong dogs with heavily subdued violent tendencies. They're happy and friendly on the surface, licking robbers hands, etc. They see a moose (this is alaska) in our backyard or on the side of the road, primal instincts kick in, hackles rise and you lose a few fingers as the leash is yanked in the general direction of the grazing animal.

The dogs usually make a few running passes at the animal in some attempt to either scare it away(?) from the dogs' territory or to try and bring the beast down for snacktime (no clue), gets kicked, run back whining with their tails between their legs.

I tried wrapping the end of the leash around my fingers a few times (this is like, age 12) to control the dogs but it resulted in cut hands, and being drug down dirt roads and through brushy forested areas after a massive animal that finds it best to stomp with its 300+ lb body onto its attacker(s).

dogs are too much fun for me, I like my fun to be controlled and in a cat form.

Re: Ah, nature...

[(Anonymous)]

My parents have two miniature schnauzers that think they're big dogs. One day, a porcupine was in the neighbor's yard. Zack (the oldest) thought it was a wierd-looking cat. Buddy (Zack's son, and an ornery sonofabitch) was just a pup, but was ready to take it's head off, whatever it was. Long story short (too late?), I had to wrangle both dogs in before they got too curious and I had to explain to my mom why her dogs had needles in their noses.

Wierd how critters end up in your backyard.

BTW, I adore ya. I also deal with people who can't spell "y'all" all the time.(I'm from Oklahoma, and the word is in our state constitution, I think.)

Never, ever stop doing this!

Lori

omg, my cats lose it regularly

[soberloki.livejournal.com]

Especially when the neighbor's cat comes a-walkin' on the fence. Gord (oldest) puffs up like a fool, yowls and spits, and hides in the corner of our porch. Arlo (the kitten) waltzes right on up to neighbor's cat to make friends and gets baffed for his trouble - it's happened a dozen times and he's still surprised every time.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

Hahaha. That has to be the awesomest story I've heard in a long time. ::snicker:: Especially since my dog did almost the same thing when we first bought our roosters... So much funnier when it's just a random rooster in the yard. :-)