Just a few things (tick tock)

[cleolinda]

I am an alarm clock.

Sister Girl dropped her phone. (Again.) And broke it. (Again.) So she's borrowed my phone. (Sing it if you know the words.) The only problem is, she uses her phone to wake up in the morning, and apparently the alarm function on my phone isn't sufficient to wake her up. So could I wake her up at two am (so she can take her meds), three-thirty (so she can sleep in an extra half hour) and four (so she can actually get up)?

Yeah, sure, I guess so. Or I could just unplug my clock and lend it to... no? You sure? I mean, it's really loud. You're not going to sleep through... really? Well... okay, I guess.

Thus I got about three hours of sleep, and found myself doing random things on the internet in hours so wee that you'd step on them if you weren't keeping an eye out. I got addicted to flickr. (You can look at pictures of anything! And they're all pretty!) I ended up wrestling with LJ for far too long at five in the morning because my account expired and I DO NOT WANT TO MAKE AUTOMATIC PAYMENTS, LIVEJOURNAL. I would like to be able to make sure there's five dollars in my account for you to take every two months before you do, in fact, take it. I felt like LJ was pushing the auto payments a little hard, to the point where it took me five minutes to figure out how to get around that, although you do have to take into account that I have had, after all, three hours of sleep because I am, in fact, my sister's alarm clock and do not, therefore, make a large amount of sense.

(Oh, icons, never leave me again!)

My parents were watching 60 Minutes, as is their wont, and they just happened to have a segment on Stephen Colbert. My mother went from "Who?" to fangirl in the space of ten minutes. It was glorious to behold. I think "Trollop Islands? The Been Around the Block a Few Times Islands?" was the part that broke her, although it might have been the Stone Phillips impression before that. "I'm going to act out some Italian stereotypes" just sealed the deal. I think the Colbert Report is perfect for her, though, because my parents are the kind of people--Republicans, no less--who watch Bill O'Reilly because they hate him. They played a little Bill to show what Colbert is actually mocking, and "Plantations were very efficient" prompted a tandem "OHHHHHHHH" of Oh No He Di-in't proportions. And then she asked five times when the Colbert Report comes on. And was really, really excited to find out that it reruns at 6:30 pm, "which is exactly when we're looking for something to watch!" Hee.

Ten Things You Should Not Send to Your Favorite Writer, by Neil Gaiman's assistant, featuring things that she has actually intercepted. ("Silver pen on black paper is not nearly as cool as you think it is." Also: "Things with blood on them. I don't care what they write, they don't want it." Which conjures terrifying images of what Stephen King's assistant must deal with.)

Bookstore speed-dating: A good idea until it turns out that the speed-dating company simply imported its usual barflies, rather than seeking out new daters who actually, you know, read.

I forget who I was talking about this with, but I made a certain assertion, and the other person wanted to know why I thought that. And now I have visual aids. This is why I think Nicole Richie is going to die from anorexia. There's a starving Ethiopian child with a bowl of rice somewhere who's like, "No, seriously, you need this more than I do."

What to Do When You Can't Win An Argument. The reason I really love this entry is because it lays out all the classic logical fallacies in terms I can understand."Ohhhh! 'The lurkers support me in email'!"

Comments

Re: nicole richie

[obigrrl.livejournal.com]

*points to icon*

ugh...and guys think that's sexy?!?! this is why i'm still alone at 35 and can't get anyone interested in me?? must i diet until i wither away to almost nothing??

*headdesk* if that's what i have to do, then fuck it, i'll be lonely the rest of my life! bleh!!

Re: nicole richie

[lilgoala.livejournal.com]

ugh...and guys think that's sexy?!?!

No, they don't. I showed those to my husband and he just stood there and stared at the computer with a look of horrified revulsion on his face. When you're so skinny that the phrase "jump my bones" can be taken literally, it's not sexy.

Re nicole Richie:

[koritsimou.livejournal.com]

Holy Shit. That is not "naturally thin". That is four hours of cardio and 500 calories a day thin.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Yay! I thought you'd like that post.

[sydelbow.livejournal.com]

That nicole ritchie pic should have a warning. its gross. i might throw up.

[mehinda.livejournal.com]

ms. cleolinda,

Where'd you snag that icon you're using? It looks like an illustration of the Persephone myth I used to see in (I believe) my Child Craft books.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

It's a Trina Schart Hyman illustration I picked up somewhere--Rapunzel, maybe?

[girlbyjuly.livejournal.com]

I ADORE Stephen Colbert!!! He and Jon Stewart are my heroes.

[elisa0984.livejournal.com]

It's not just the lack of sleep thing, LJ will try to redirect you in every which way just to get the automated payments.

[ktkid.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to say I have really enjoyed the links in your last few posts. Thank you for pointing them out! I never would find them otherwise.

[supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com]

I am still extrodinarily horrified at Nicole Richie. The scary-thinness is creepy within itself, but also the fact that she has NO breasts whatsoever to speak of.

[spooke.livejournal.com]

It's still not as scary as the ones of Kiera Knightly a while back. *shudder* Have you ever been afraid that one day they'll wake in the night, having finally snapped under the strain of hunger, and roam through the neighborhood eating people? ZOMBIE CELEBS AT 11!

...What? You wouldn't watch it?

[angelene.livejournal.com]

Aw, damn! Now I'm addicted to flickr too!

And that Nicole Richie photo is all kinds of wrong. I don't even know who she is, but I feel sorry for her. :(

[oohasparklie.livejournal.com]

You know, I like Stephen Colbert, but I'm really, really partial to The Daily Show. I can usually get about 10 minutes into The Colbert Report before zoning out and falling asleep. Of course, that's past my bedtime, so that may be why. (I watch them at midnight.)

Oh my god Nicole Richie. Are we sure that first one isn't photoshopped? Because it looks photoshopped. That's just disturbing.

[dreamingenigma.livejournal.com]

I loved that Stephen Colbert bit on 60 Minutes. I am so totally smitten with him - for good reason! I thought it was interesting when he talked about getting rid of his Southern accent. There is this perception, even in 2006, that people with Southern accents are somehow slower or stupid. Luckily for me, I don't have a heavy one, but if I ever went into the entertainment business, I'm sure someone would want me to get rid of mine. Unless you're a sex symbol with a 6-pack and dimples a la Matthew McConnaughey, the accent just won't cut it.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

This is why I'm determined to keep mine. Except that I can afford to, because I have a Southern *city* accent, as opposed to the stereotypically "thick," in every sense of the word, accent.

[ennuiticverses.livejournal.com]

wow, nicole is just freaky now. beats out keira in the "dear god eat something" contest. hope she feels like a winner! >_>

other than that, i <3 stephen colbert.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

And the LORD said unto Cleo, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?

And Cleo said, Sister Girl my sister has dropped her cell phone and has no alarm and requires to be woken at all hours. This maketh me very wroth, and even vexed.

And Cleo spoke with Sister Girl her sister: and it came to pass, that Cleo rose up against Sister Girl her sister, and slew her.

And the LORD said unto Cleo, Where is Sister Girl thy sister? And she said, I know not: Am I my sister's alarm clock?

[bluinkalchemist.livejournal.com]

...I never thought about how Cleo would translate into KJV. This is perfect!

[leila82.livejournal.com]

flickr...shiny!

Nicole Richie. I don't understand how she's able to still run around on the beach, to be honest. She looks like she should be in a hospital bed, with an IV pole attached. I actually remember reading some time ago that she had collapsed in a store from "the heat."

[confusedmuchly.livejournal.com]

Actually, I don't think that Nicole Richie should eat anything. I mean, lord, I don't even think she could fit a grape in there anymore. She'll explode all over if she has anything of substance. Intravenous, anyone?

[musikologie.livejournal.com]

If you're looking for more good Stephen Colbert interviews, he did two really good interviews on Fresh Air: this one (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4464017) before he started "The Colbert Report," and this one recorded about four weeks after the show began. (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5040948)

[bluinkalchemist.livejournal.com]

*joins you in huggling your icons, thus creating a mad mad orgy of iconluv*

When I get my own place? Daily Show & Colbert Report reruns over dinner. I get the real news via the Intarwebs. TV is there to entertain me.

[valkyrie79.livejournal.com]

You must, must, MUST learn to say no to unreasonable sister requests.

Also, Nicole Richie frightens me.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, it would have been completely unreasonable except that--where was I going today? Felt like the least I could do.

[theatre-angel.livejournal.com]

The Richie pictures make me want to stuff outrageous amounts of Pringles in my mouth, sob.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I have doughnuts. Would you like a doughnut?

[gniko.livejournal.com]

Stephen Colbert's a funny guy :) Here I thought I was the only one with the cynical detachment thingy, death in the family and nothing really mattered.

Nicole Ritchie! What's sad is she probably thinks she's fat because her internal organs are soft and exposed and stick out farther than her hips. "Damn you kidneys!"

[dives.livejournal.com]

I asked Stephen Colbert to prom last year.

In other news, a PSA from an actual Ethiopian person:
Ethiopia: More than just starving children! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethiopia)

[hikaness.livejournal.com]

Ew, if Nicole Richie doesn't die of anorexia, it's going to be skin cancer.

[emisi.livejournal.com]

Wow, it's really scary that Nicole has to roll up her bikini bottoms and they're STILL baggy. You'd think with her money, she could afford ones that, you know, fit.

She's frightening.

update on Troy Hake, the Gaybaiting Gardener of Independence OR

[torridjoe.livejournal.com]

Sorry to barge in on an unrelated thread...the FAQ says commenting is better than emailing.

I've updated the story about the guy who sent out a gaybashing email to his customer list. Check it out here:
http://loadedorygun.blogspot.com/2006/08/updating-troy-hake-gaybaiting-gardener.html

Thanks for the traffic, from here and the many sites who link their pages to cleolinda's. It was a busy few days! We're going to stick with the story, trying to get to talk to the owner who sent the email, and at a minimum seeking to get the traditional media to cover the story. You can help in that latter vein, by pointing our story coverage in the direction of the Salem Statesman Journal or The Oregonian. (both easily googleable).

Best,
TJ

Re: update on Troy Hake, the Gaybaiting Gardener of Independence OR

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heh, barging in's fine. And thanks for the update!