"Hide the rum!"

[cleolinda]

Ow, my head.

So the Lovely Emily arrived chez Cleo at about 6:30; we wolfed down a couple of small steaks and headed out to the Rave a touch before seven. Keep in mind, the movie was to be at 8:30. That's okay; we'll pick up our preordered tickets and just hang out in various parking lots until we see a mass exodus of cars from the 5:00 showing.

A little after seven, we hit the Publix soda fountain for carryout drinks. We fill the cups about 3/4 full.

Back in the car, I fish a soda bottle of Cuban rum out of my purse and we spike the Cokes.

We're a little bit drunk by 7:40.

At 7:45, I suggest that we try circling the Rave parking deck one more time, and we snag a prime spot right at the front of the lower level.

A little before eight, there's two major masses of people: one on the right side of the building, where the Pirates theaters are, and one great giant morass in front of concessions. This latter is the ravening horde, and they all want the Captain Jack Combo Deal: two giant Cokes (in commemorative tumblers) and a massive bucket of popcorn. You think I mean "bucket" like "cardboard tub." You, my friend, are wrong. This is a plastic bucket, and it has a handle. You could go trick-or-treating with it.

I get in line for one (1) frozen Coke that we are going to split, as we sometimes do. Em gets into the line to get into the other half of the theater.

A few eons later, the woman in front of me finally herds her children off (register total: $29.50), and I get my one (1) frozen Coke.

We have some rum left in the soda bottle. A good bit, actually--probably about two shots' worth. Em masterminds a complex maneuver in which I hold the frozen Coke below seat level and she pours the rest of the rum in. Anyone making "But why is all the rum gone?!" jokes will get a taste of the cat.

We each make quick runs to the restroom, since it's not even 8:30 yet. And then I come back, and... there's a man sitting in the once-empty seat next to mine, the sole empty seat between the two of us and another group of people. The theater's getting packed; this isn't surprising. What does surprise me is that this man, by my conservative estimate, weighs four hundred pounds. Now, mind you, I'm no Kate Moss. But this man has claimed both the armrests for Spain and a little bit of my seat as well. Em offers to raise the armrests between our seats, but that's the rumrest, thank you very much, and I am not going to let this man cadge my seat. So I settle in and make him share the armrest with me, and if he doesn't like full-arm body contact, that's his problem.

He begins to snore.

Seriously, this man is 400 pounds of What the Fuck. He already reeks; now he's snoring. He continues to snore through the previews and the first ten minutes or so of the movie. "Conditions on pirate ships," I lean over and mutter to Em, "were often hot, crowded, and smelly. But there was always plenty of rum."

After the first ten minutes of the movie, the man gets up and never comes back, apparently having woken up and realized he wasn't in his recliner at home.

The movie itself: good times. I walked out a little shellshocked from the sheer hectic noise, but I spent most of the movie with my hand clapped over my mouth, which is also a good sign. Also, we, by which I mean "I," did the Kraken Dance every time it showed up. It's funny--without actually having the movie spoiled for me blow-by-blow, I'd heard a ton of criticisms that didn't make any sense to me once I actually saw the movie. I didn't think there was too much kraken (well, I wouldn't, would I?), because each time there was a little bit more. I didn't think the beginning was slow, although I could have lived without Jack's Fruit Kabob; I do think there was a lot of very hectic action that could have been trimmed to make the scenes feel cleaner, making the craziness of that second island, the one with the chest and the hamster wheel, that much wilder in comparison. But I didn't feel like they spent too much time on Pelegosto in general.

And I didn't really see the cannibals as being racist, because there were plenty of other black characters, such as the sailors with Will on his first ship, who weren't... well, cartoonish cannibals. I thought the cannibals were more like something out of Looney Tunes, precisely because they didn't seem like anything real; if you think they're an offensive stereotype, that's valid and your prerogative and all that, but I didn't, because I didn't think of them being a stereotype of anything. Of course, I'm a little white girl, so I admit freely that maybe I'm not the one who can judge whether that's offensive or not.

And maybe because I've just seen the first movie fairly recently--I really didn't think Jack was any mincier than previously. In fact, I think the mincing is a bit more pronounced in the first half of the first movie--it's more deliberate and drawn-out, certainly. I see where people are getting the thing about jokes/throwbacks to the first movie being tiresome, but they didn't bother me. Orlando Bloom is actually pretty good in this movie; shouting orders seems to suit him. Elizabeth was sort of unusually hot and bothered, but all right--I was startled when she basically tried to jump Will through the prison bars. She was kind of shrieky, but I love Keira and she's got enough comic timing to pull off a lot of that ("Stop! STOP! THIS IS MADNESS!," etc.). I'm really excited about Geoffrey Rush coming back, though.

I sound like I'm focusing on fairly picky things, but that's partly because I'm tired, I've got stepfamily on the way over, and the rest of the movie was a blur of awesome. I mean, just the three-pirates-two-swords thing going on in the middle of the hamster-wheel fight was amazing. I probably won't get to see it again until next weekend, sadly.

Off to grab some lunch before family gets here.

Comments

[christwise.livejournal.com]

I didn't even notice the three-pirates-two-swords thing until I snuck into the theater to watch a bit before work. That... was awesome, yeah. I'm glad I don't work at your theater. Shovling that much popcorn must suck.

I completely agree, I was clutching my pearls (har har) the whole movie. Nice that Orlando got to be funny on his own for once.

[havocs-roman.livejournal.com]

Sorry, but this has been nagging at me: Just... what's the deal with Norrington going pirate all of a sudden? Everyone seems to have *just* realised that the actor is hot (which... shouldn't be news to anyone...?), but they're too busy blaming his hotness on his piracy to bother explaining it for us POTC-deprived peps. Did Norrington realise he'll bag more girls as a pirate? Did he fall for Jack, or something?

Tia Dalma was cool too

[ewacat.livejournal.com]

It's a pirate movie with an undead monkey and and a hamster wheel.

People are unhappy with it... why?

Re: Tia Dalma was cool too

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

I'm still trying to figure out what people were unhappy with. My only criticism is that it was long enough for my bladder to fill twice. Why don't we have intermissions these days?

[ennuiticverses.livejournal.com]

i loved it, i must say.

i always enjoy your analysis of the movies though, and i agree about the cartooney aspects of the cannibals, I really feel that they were meant to BE RIDICULOUS. But that's just me.

[mouseykins1.livejournal.com]

People were complaining about too much Kraken? Dude, you can NEVER have enough Kraken!

[mycenae.livejournal.com]

I freaking love your icon.

[crumpeteer.livejournal.com]

While I thought the movie was trying to do way too much, I was startled to find that I really liked Orlando in it. While I've always thought he was a beautiful man, I generally found his acting talent rather marginal to fair. This movie I really liked him. Somehow the earnest, naive act of his was very appealing and he had a bit more presence about him. Perhaps giving him a role where he has to be a bit commanding and more dashing is his cup of tea.

The three way sword fight was worth the price of admission though. Looked fabulous.

I also found the music when they were swinging the giant cages very amusing. I have no idea why.

[amaelamin.livejournal.com]

Glad that was not just me. :D But it was circus music, or possibly merry-go-round - they must have intended the hilarity.

[emerald-skies.livejournal.com]

I want to know why the monkey was still undead if the rest of the zombies were cured after the first movie? Was I the only one who noticed that?

Advice for dealing with the fat guy: Periodically push the button that makes your cell phone vibrate and 'zap' him with it until he catches a hint and budges over a bit.

Anyway, I thought Jack's sashaying was a biot more pronounced in this movie, maybe it was because he did a bit more running. The flip-in-the-air bit during the Fruit Kabob was pretty cool, but on the whole yeah, that scene was a bit unecessary. Probably amused the hell out of the kiddies though. Impressive acrobatics for someone who runs flailing their hands about like that.

Two bits that made me almost die laughing:

"Hey look, an undead monkey! *BANG!*"

"Where's that monkey, I want to shoot something."

On the whole, yes, a very good film, despite Disney's obvious fondness for trequels.

[anonymisty.livejournal.com]

I want to know why the monkey was still undead if the rest of the zombies were cured after the first movie?

Because in the little bit after the credits in the first movie, the monkey took a piece of cursed gold back out of the chest, and became cursed again.

kraken!

[violaphile.livejournal.com]

my mom said that i can have a kraken of my very own, as long as i keep it in the pond in the backyard and not in the bathtub.

Re: kraken!

[ewacat.livejournal.com]

Mine is in a bucket in my room.

I tell people it's just me washing my bras. I like their look of shock when they see the odd tentacle poking out seeking food.

[stardustmajick.livejournal.com]

Did you stay until after the credits? There's an extra scene at the end.

[kestrel127.livejournal.com]

GODS MOTHERFUCKING DAMNIT. That's two shows running (PotC & X3) that I've missed. Stupid credits scene.

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

Of all the things to complain about, people complain about too much Kraken? Bah!

I honestly would have expected more complaining about the fact that this looks like the middle of a trilogy, and we have to wait until next year to find out what happens next!

... I need Davey Jones icons.

[phantomsgrl210.livejournal.com]

at least we don't have to wait NEARLY as long for the next one as we did for this one...Honestly, Four years!!!!

[anonymisty.livejournal.com]

I really didn't think Jack was any mincier than previously. In fact, I think the mincing is a bit more pronounced in the first half of the first movie--it's more deliberate and drawn-out...

Yes! I actually thought Jack was a little toned-down this time around, as if all the people around him were familiar enough to him that he knew they already had him pegged. I loved all the huge action sequences - so reminiscent of the adventure epics of classic Hollywood.

I didn't think there was too much kraken (well, I wouldn't, would I?), because each time there was a little bit more.

I never heard complaints about "too much Kraken", but I agree with you. I felt like the "little bit more" every time was the filmmaker's way of teasing us, until the ending shot of the Kraken's mouth wide open, with no more question as to how scary this creature was.

I came out thinking this movie was being received in much the same way The Empire Strikes Back was. People were mad about it being dark, and so many storylines unresolved, too. But now it's a classic.

[hawleygriffen.livejournal.com]

I had gone in just wanting to squee at the entire movie but for me the film was bloated and could've done with some trimming down, especially with the fishy bad guys andyeseventhekraken, a stunning creation but overused, but the fish guys and davy jones and all just weren't as interesting. There was good stuff, though, when it concentrated on the original characters. I want to love this film like I did the first, but I can only reach 'like'.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I admit, I got restless during anything on the Flying Dutchman--I seemed to have my old "Sam and Frodo in Mordor" reaction ("NOTHING PRETTY HERE! MOVING ON!").

[glittersavvy.livejournal.com]

I loved it. Truly, I did. I'm a pretty huge Pirates fan (to put it mildly), which puts forward the notion that I'm biased, but what the heck.
I saw it on Friday and liked it very much, but it took a second viewing to fall back in love with the fandom. It was better, for some reason - I enjoyed myself a lot more (probably because I wasn't worried about it turning out disastrous, or something).

I think it was a similiar thing with the first movie - that one I adored straight off, but watching it a second time let me catch things I didn't the first time. For example, Jack slurs so often in speech that you only note half of what he says; go the second time and you get to hear the end of the sentence. XD Maybe I just need my ears cleaning out, though. ;)

[hybridutensil.livejournal.com]

Sorry to be totally random, but your icon totally made me giggle :D

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I am in love with Davey Jones. It's the pipe organ that sealed it. My friend started to snicker and said, "Geez, the Phantom's really let himself go." and that was the end of me.

But...tentacle beard. So. Cool. And the Flying Ducthman sailing underwater.

Too much kraken? What? Nooo. [biology geek]About the only bad thing I'll say about the kraken is that it should have hooks in its suckers. [/biology geek]

Also, was happy that there were a few more hard "ARRRS!" from the Dutchman pirates. In the first movie, it was only Geoffrey Rush that did any hard "YARR."

So excited about the return of Barbossa. And his undead monkey. EEE!

*wibbles incoherently*

[ewacat.livejournal.com]

Davy Jones was just a freaking legend. I loved the sound his pegleg made when he was about to come onscreen (AHA pun unintended), the tension the *THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* sound made.

And yes, the organ. LOVED SO MUCH.

But my main reason for replying to you is the UNDEAD MONKEY. The undead monkey was seriously ACE and has not had enough love. :D

[wumbawoman.livejournal.com]

I am so in love with Keira right now. I absolutely howled when the three main male characters started fighting on the beach and she started throwing sand at them. And then when she feigned....well fainting.... and they kept on fighting. Oh, too much.

Hubby thought it was out of character for Elizabeth to sacrifice Jack. I just didn't understand how the cannibals played into it. Other than they accidentally landed on the island. But, of course, we went back and watched the first one again and when Jack is trying to get past those 2 guards, he tells them, "and then they made me their chief." With that and the final final scene, I'm wondering if they are going to make an appearance in POTC3.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I didn't think it was out of character, because she obviously felt awful about it, but--as she told him--it was the only way to save everyone else. This is, after all, someone who hoodwinked both Jack and Norrington in the first movie.

[papervolcano]

My only complaint was that the fight scenes seemed unbalanced - the bone-cage/Jack's fruit kebab scene got *boring*, which should have been impossible. But the three-way sword fight between the boys, even with the hamster wheel of doom, was shiny.
I liked Elizabeth a lot in this one - in the first one, she was all in love with herself, while here, she felt more... grown up? ruthless and determined. Also, she got to do some fighting! And her fight scene was infinitely cooler.

I'd just like to take a moment to contemplate Norrington's voice when he first reappeared.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

The throwbacks to the first movie made me laugh like an idiot.

I actually thought the cannibals weren't badly done ~ they had a good explanation for their reasons. It was a sort of cultural clash, although it was pretty Looney Tunes-esque.

Did anybody else catch the Monty Python homage?

[ewacat.livejournal.com]

Did anybody else catch the Monty Python homage?

Yes, and I CRIED WITH LAUGHTER.

[sticckler.livejournal.com]

Elizabeth was sort of unusually hot and bothered, but all right

Hee hee. I was amused at the fact that Liz spent the entire movie very horny. She tried to jump Will through the bars of the prison (even with her father right there!), complained about missing out on her wedding night and that she just wanted to be married, and then fell in total lust with Jack. I guess the combination of still being a virgin (presumably) and having to be around the two hot men just got to her.

I didn't notice the boots until the second viewing, and didn't really notice the heart in Tia's shack at all, just heard about it online afterwards. Will have to catch that on the third viewing. They had a Pirates combo at the theatre I went to as well, only it was just one giant cup of pop, the Pirates plastic bucket (with the 4 main characters on it), a small thing of Piratey M&Ms, and a scratch card to win a Disney vacation. A neat thing that was before the viewing Friday night was that they had a fencing demonstration about 15 minutes before the movie started at the theatre I went to.

[lily-handmaiden.livejournal.com]

I was also sort of amused by it. Just her kind of standing there like, "I think we need to draw focus back to the major problem here, which is, I AM STILL A VIRGIN!"

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

What is this frozen Coke thing? Is that Southern for "a Coke with ice" or is it more like a slurpy? Or sorbet?

I love that you were drinking rum while watching this movie.

[sticckler.livejournal.com]

yay for drinking rum while watching pirates! I snuck in a small bottle of Bacardi and had a few swigs, and totally surprised my friend with it. (she was pleasantly surprised, of course)

[delle.livejournal.com]

although I could have lived without Jack's Fruit Kabob; I do think there was a lot of very hectic action that could have been trimmed to make the scenes feel cleaner, making the craziness of that second island, the one with the chest and the hamster wheel, that much wilder in comparison. But I didn't feel like they spent too much time on Pelegosto in general


Yes yes and yes. I don't really undestand the purpose of the entire Cannibal Island plot - it actually detracts for me, from the main plot and the lovely fighting later on. Did we *really* need both the circles'o'bones cages *and* the waterwheel? Can the circles and keep the waterwheel kthxbi.

Also, Gibbs says the cages weren't made until they got there? But the Pearl's been keelhauled for.... how long then? With tides coming in and out? And the bones are *bones* and not... er, meaty? What, do the cannibals boil them and *then* construct the cages? (same issue with Jack-in-the-casket; the leg bone wouldn't be just a bone at that time, if they were dumping recently executeds in the water... or what *were* the caskets supposed to be from, other than a Cute Entrance For Jack?)

I'm going to prattle on more tonight, just becasue I can't pry the movie out of my head. I missed BOTH the boots and the locket though! BAD DELLE! (Elder Son caught the boots) I did catch the ring, but didn't consider any Significance; but I think you're right.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I didn't like the Fruit Kabob because it was kind of like, oh, whatever, it was way too thick to actually catch ten different fruits like that, even if their aim was that good. It was just a little too kids-movie for me. Whereas I loved the cages, because it was a reasonable situation solved in a reasonable, but hilarious, way.

[wokeupinnacar.livejournal.com]

Her dress-o-snug was shiny. And Norrington looked ravishing. Nothing like an old baddy to turn hot...semi-baddy.

[thunderphoenix.livejournal.com]

Davy Jones was just about the coolest guy ever. The way he talked especially, and when he did that weird popping noise with his mouth.

Though tentacle mouth and a claw hand? He was totally a Pirate Zoidberg.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_stormthesea/]

Elizabeth was sort of unusually hot and bothered, but all right--I was startled when she basically tried to jump Will through the prison bars.

She had just missed out on Colonized England Wedding Night Sex! Srsly, she was probably all, "Sweet, now there is sex with Orlando Bloom and he is kind of a hottie," when she got locked in a cage next to a bunch of hideous men who just really want to touch her. I'd be all "DAD CAN YOU STEP AWAY FOR JUST ONE MINUTE" too.

[bibliotech.livejournal.com]

I don't know, my racist-o-meter didn't go off over the cannibals. Maybe I was blinded by the OMG LOOK AT ALL THIS SHINY STUFF factor, but it didn't seem like they were trying to "say" anything with them. I didn't even realise there was a controversy about it until this afternoon, when I finally got around to reading reviews/spoilers and whatnot.

And I agree, Orlando seems to be at his best when he's got on his This Is My Angry Face and telling people what to do. I think I squee'd out loud when I saw the Kraken for the first time, and it just got better and better after that. I mean, a Kraken. How cool is that?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the actual comments here in my journal was the first I'd heard of the racism.

Oh my God, the kraken was so awesome. And yeah--I'll admit it, I'm an Orlando apologist. I do think that he can be a very bad, dorky actor when he's in over his head ("A red sun rises," etc.), but I think he's improved a lot since the previous movie, and he's actually really good in this one. And I still say he's hilarious in the first one, when they steal the Dauntless and he's all like "AVAST!!1" and Jack looks back at him like, "Oh my GOD." And then Will kind of quirks an eyebrow, like "What?" I love that.

[havocs-roman.livejournal.com]

>>I'm really excited about Geoffrey Rush coming back

I read that bit of info yesterday, (no spoiler warnings, boo!) and the movie, which I already wanted to see, suddenly turned into the second coming of Casablanca. Am SO excited. *is so excited*

[sunihiroku.livejournal.com]

Well, the Speedway gas stations all over Indiana sell 4 kinds of slurpee: pepsi, mountain dew, blue raspberry fanta, and cherry fanta. 79 cents for any size, including 44 oz.