Plot Points of the Caribbean

[cleolinda]

Ugh. Have felt like shit today. I had a feeling I wasn't going to sleep well (frozen Coke at 7:30 pm for the lose), but I didn't realize that I was going to go around all day feeling like my eyes were on fire.

Looks like I'm going to be seeing Pirates of the Caribbean on Saturday night, most likely. While this actually works really well with other plans, there's a little part of me that really, really wants to go to a midnight screening tonight and be totally psychotic about it.

Also, there were a ton of people at the theater last night for something billed as Indian Movie. It would appear that we're talking about Asian subcontinent Indian, not Native American Indian, because there were a ton of India-Indian folks there last night. Thing is, I can't find anything by that name on the IMDB. Also, there was a table in that theater's vestibule where people seemed to be either taking tickets or generally greeting people. I'm wondering if there's some kind of local weekly screening thing going on, where they have a deal to screen an Indian movie (something Bollywood?), and to simplify matters, the Rave folks just put it on the marquee as "Indian Movie." If anyone has any idea... let me know.

Oh, hell, Mercury's going retrograde again. Remember when everything went to hell for just about everyone earlier this year, around March or so? Mercury in retrograde. I don't know if you believe in this kind of thing or not, but my theory is, if the moon can affect the tides, why wouldn't other planets affect other things? It's very possibly a physical effect that results in people being pissy; just because we don't understand precisely what that effect is doesn't mean it's just total magic or nonsense. Anyhoo, Mercury generally has to do with communication, so when I noticed people getting pissy on Snarkfest, I went, "Aw, hell, we're due for another retrograde, aren't we?" In this case:

When Mercury is retrograde, everyone's thinking is more introspective and we tend to think about issues and concerns which relate to the sign involved. With Mercury retrograde in [Leo], people with this sign prominent in their charts will be especially prone to such introspection. There is little choice but to reconsider our personal views and opinions about life. There is, however, an opportunity to gain insight into our own ego. Mercury retro in Leo gives confusion regarding high ideals and aspirations. People tend to be outspoken or quick-tempered, and their kind-hearted impulses can be misplaced, due to getting the facts wrong. Leaders and those in high places are subject to delusion and error, especially as nebulous Neptune is in opposition and lordly Jupiter is square. They tend to appear haughty, proud and passionate. Individuals find dramatic ways to communicate and are quick to refute ideas that disagree with their own. A love of children and a fondness for pleasure should not be allowed to get out of hand. Love affairs can be fickle and inconstant, due to egotistical presumptions. Avoid gambling and those who display a low and sensual nature. Attend immediately to back and chest pains. When Mercury moves back to Cancer on July 11, the need to revisit emotional commitments will become more present. Family issues are likely to arise and you may need to review decisions regarding your residence and any career moves you have in mind. All areas of communication are affected, especially in matters related to romance, self-expression, creative and dramatic endeavours or anything to do with children, investment, public standing and speculative ventures in general. This period brings travel snafus and missed appointments of all kinds. Documents can go astray. Be sure to carry a diary and refer to it often.

Now, I know that since we're now expecting these things to happen, we'll probably find them, whether there's really an increase in occurrence or not. My theory about astrology is that it's sort of a metaphor for the real ways in which we deal with our lives, so if being on the alert for miscommunication, error and general pissosity results in your being able to handle it better, I don't see what's so terrible about that.

Entertainment Weekly gives Pirates of the Caribbean a D+. Oh, Lisa, why bother with a + at that point? She mentions that she hated the first one, and starts picking on things like "This time what stands between the two photogenic romantic leads is bluster from a new villainous British prig-in-a-wig, some twitty adult who demands that Will do some impossible thing or another to earn his freedom. Or else. (Or else what? Like we'd care? Like Will and Liz are anything other than whirling teacup figurines?)" So... I'm thinking I'm going to wait for someone to review the movie who 1) liked the first one and 2) doesn't flip out over something as simple as "obstacle separates young couple."

Potter "Prada" Prop Book Up for Auction. This is from the part in the movie where Scary Meryl Streep demands the new Harry Potter for her twins. No, the unpublished Harry Potter.

AP writer mocks "simplified spelling" movement. Whoever wrote this, I love you.

Comments

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

Oh, how I hope "Indian Movie" was Krrish (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krrish). That'd be worth seeing (http://www.boingboing.net/2006/06/19/bollywood_scifi_supe.html).

[nadesiko.livejournal.com]

I'll second that hope... I know Krrish is on here in Chicago at most big theaters

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Actually, the "Indian" refers to a motorcycle. It's the new film from Sir Tony.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

(I'm assuming.)

[meghatron.livejournal.com]

In what universe does it make sense to assign a review of a sequel to someone who hated the first one? Even Roger Ebert knew better than to claim he was competent to review Scooby-Doo when he had no experience nor interest in the original cartoon, and put such a disclaimer in his review. Stupid EW.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I know, dude. At least for the first movie, it would have been interesting to be like, "Huh, here is someone who clearly, honestly does not like this movie, and isn't just saying whatever because everyone else is." But the second time, it's like--for real, why do I care what you think? You hated something 92% of everyone else loved. Duh, you're not going to like the sequel. Not only was your time wasted reviewing it, mine was wasted reading.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

*blink*

I'm confused. Is POTC (movie 1 OR 2) supposed to be about Will and Elizabeth? Not about Captain Jack?

Please correct me if I'm wrong.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

It's about all three of them--the trailer seems to indicate that it's quite the triangle, actually. Schwarzbaum fusses about Jack, too.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

Blargh. In March I stopped going to class, doing my work, and getting out of bed because I was so peevish at the entire sodding world.

WOOHOO.

Anyway, I C&Ped the astrology portion into my LJ (http://the-wanlorn.livejournal.com/321867.html), with credit, and as a blockquote so that no one can possibly mistake it for my words (unless they're being particularly idiotic).

If that's So Not Cool, let me know and I'll edit it out.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heh, no problem. I'm quoting a large portion from another site as well. : )

[caerbannog.livejournal.com]

My theory for all the wankiness that's been going on lately is that it's because Uranus is also in retrograde. Apparently Uranus causes shifts in people's personalities, although as a bonus, also increases creativity. It's in retrograde till sometime in November, so I'm fully expecting any new wanky developments.

I've tried to explain the Uranus theory to a few people, but strangely, they don't seem to be taking me too seriously.

[cupcakery.livejournal.com]

I personally find it interesting. Do any other planets going retrograde affect various aspects of human personalities? Do any other planets even go retrograde?

[sexion8.livejournal.com]

Well, if a big ass meteor didn't noticeably affect anything, I'm not too worried about retrograde. From Space.Com:

An asteroid possibly as large as a half-mile or more in diameter is rapidly approaching the Earth. There is no need for concern, for no collision is in the offing, but the space rock will make an exceptionally close approach to our planet early on Monday, July 3, passing just beyond the Moon’s average distance from Earth.

PotC tonight! Whoo, I'm drinking Rum Runners (http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink2439.html) to celebrate!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

You know what? Fuck this noise. I'mma fix me a Cuba libre.

[arielchan.livejournal.com]

My favorite reviewer looooves PotC 2. Thar be spoilers here, so I would say if you want to read the review (and you should) then don't read the last couple paragraphs. (http://www.flickfilosopher.com/blog/2006/07/pirates_of_the_caribbean_dead.html)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oooo, helpful. I didn't even see anything terribly spoily--I can deal with "So and so is set up for a big fall." It's "Here's the entire setup of the relationship between Jack and Davy Jones" that I can't handle.

No spoilers here

[lederhosen.livejournal.com]

FWIW, I thought PotC2 was quite fun. I had my nitpicks - overall, not as good as #1, it relied a little too much on nods back at #1, and Davey Jones wasn't quite as good a villain as Barbossa. (Partly the CGI's fault - it was hard for him to be expressive under all that.) But all in all, a fun movie and I'll probably see it again in a week or so.

BTW, do not check the IMDB full cast list until you've seen the movie, because it contains a major spoiler.

Re: No spoilers here

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

You realize that of course I ran off and did just that. Maybe it's just that I don't like having spoilers sprung on me without permission.

Okay, I'ma spoiler font this because I'm curious: >> <<

[ezaryu.livejournal.com]

I did a spoiler-free review of PotC 2 after seeing it today (http://kurafire.net/log/archive/2006/07/06/review-pirates-of-the-caribbean-dead-mans-chest).

I loved the first one and had high expectations and strong concerns (fear for disappointment) for the second.

[riverchild.livejournal.com]

Seen this already? The mystery of Judi Dench in a lobster costume solved (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqY-spCnmX0). Hilarity! :D

[megmatthews20.livejournal.com]

OMG I never thought I'd see Ewan acting in something with Rhys Ifans (albeit never in the same scene) you made my day! cheers!

[zolora.livejournal.com]

I figure if even the usually-cranky-and-pretentious Rolling Stone gives it a good review (http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/movie/_/id/6824598/rid/10697901/), it can't be that bad.

And it has a kraken, so, really. What more needs to be said.

A love of children and a fondness for pleasure should not be allowed to get out of hand.

Um, ew?

[notemily.livejournal.com]

http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/node/1062

[hongkongaton.livejournal.com]

I've always ended up hating any movie that Lisa Lisa Schwarzbaum
reviews and likes.
She's so annoying lolz. The only EW critic I like is Owen Gleiberman.

[hongkongaton.livejournal.com]

LOL LISA LISA.
WHUPS.

[callmesyd.livejournal.com]

The biggest hurdle to leap over in order to introduce simplified spelling to the world is, if I am any indication, getting people to stop snorting their drink and giggling like a twelve year old whenever they have to spell "cuntry".

[pscopathictiger.livejournal.com]

ahahahahahaha

I couldn't read half that article. It made my brain hurt. It's funny though.

[mouseykins1.livejournal.com]

I refuse to read any POTC2 reviews because I honestly don't care how crappy the movie is. I don't care if the plot stinks or if the characters are pointless. I'm seeing the movie because it has pirates, sea creatures, Jack Sparrow, and exploding things, and those are the only things I need to make me happy. I mean, it's not going for Best Picture or anything (I hope). It's just a fun summer movie.

[count-01.livejournal.com]

Gods, I hope they're not going for best picture. That'd miss the point of being the most fun summer blockbuster of the year, combining (as previously mentioned) pirates, possibly monkeys, Kiera Knightley wearing clothes of some kind, Jack Sparrow, a kraken (most violent and cool of sea creatures) and stuff blowing up. Also, pirates and/or pirate ships blowing up.

I mean, seriously, how hard do they have to try to beat out Mission: Highly Improbable That It Won't Suck as Hard the Third Time? They have pirates.

[theantijoss.livejournal.com]

AP writer mocks "simplified spelling" movement. Whoever wrote this, I love you.

Good grammar GODS my eyes hurt just from reading that! Ugh.

[bunnymonkey.livejournal.com]

Travel snafus? I'm going to Tennessee for a funeral on Saturday. There'd better NOT be any travel snafus!! DAMMIT.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I give you this icon just in case.

[ninepointfivemm.livejournal.com]

Frickin A, man. I hate Mercury in retrograde. I usually don't get upset over astrology, but this Mercury retrograde has been killer. I've already had snafus with a friend who was coming to spend the weekend, relationship issues, and computer mishaps. It's usually not this bad!

I generally don't like Lisa Schwartzbaum's reviews, since I think she's way too harsh on decent movies, but a D+? Why did she even bother?

[lee-in-limbo.livejournal.com]

Professional movie critics, by and large, really miss the mark with me a lot, these days.

Lisa Schwartzbaum sounds like she'd rather be doing something else. I'd make recommendations, but it would probably be dismissed as harrassment. Perhaps if they cast Barbra Streisand or Bette Midler for the next one, she'd watch the movie instead of jotting down snippy barbs to make herself sound clever. Clearly too many pretty young people in here for her to watch it seriously.

And the editor who put her on the review clearly wanted to stir up the dirt, or the link to the review wouldn't be on the top or the page. Editorial bias at EW.com?

L o L,
shrugging it off

[futureperfect.livejournal.com]

that spelling article made my headache worse. :[

also? i loved pirates 1 and i LOVED pirates 2. that's all the review you need! :D!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

YAY!

[dreamingenigma.livejournal.com]

d+? WTF? even if you don't really like it or think it's worth all the hype, how can you give anything to do with pirates an almost failing grade? whatever. people baffle me, lol.

[pygmymetal.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you'll read this comment all the way down here but my scottish b/f has seen Pirates and he loved it. :)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Comments go to my email, so I read all of them. : )

[musikologie.livejournal.com]

My local paper (which I guess gets reviews from the Gannett news wire) gave PotC2 three and a half stars (http://www.pressconnects.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060706/ENT/607060311/101) out of four -- much better than a D+. (It's also a pretty spoiler-free review.)

[sualocin.livejournal.com]

That reviewer ... wow. *shakes head in shame*

Oh, and sweetdisguise made a PotC fanmix (http://sweetdisguise.livejournal.com/178598.html?#cutid1) you may be interested in.

[apocalyptically.livejournal.com]

Saturday night, me too!

(How long is the movie anyway? I remember seeing it reported at everything from 105 min to 150 min.)

Haha, your story made me think of the South Asian theatre in my local mall, where most of the billboard is written in Hindi, but always at the bottom it would say TAMIL MOVIE in big capital English.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I think 105 is a typo for 150, switching the numbers--I'm hearing it's 2-1/2 hours.