(no subject)

[cleolinda]

I haaaaaate cleeeeeannnnnninnnnnng. You know how I went for weeks talking about how much I hated cleaning? I'm still not finished. The problem was that it was an exercise in utter futility because I had no where to put anything--"cleaning" basically meant moving boxes of stuff around the room into a slightly neater arrangement, and maybe throwing away a stack of magazines. I mean, yes, there was more to it than that, but that was the net effect. It's kind of like the riddle with the fox and the goose and the grain, and you've got a boat that can only hold you and one other thing, and the fox would eat the goose if you left them on shore and the goose would eat the grain. Except that I didn't even have a boat.

Well, the new bookshelves (*luff*) are, in essence, the boat. So now I've got the goose books on the boat, which means that I can try to move the fox and the grain away from the closet door because I haven't been able to get in there in, oh, say, a couple of years, and have I ever mentioned that I have a lot of grain? Seriously. And I'm not sure all the grain is going to fit in the closet, either. And there's more geese in the closet, which I have to get out and get on the boat before a tidal wave of grain pours out of the closet and smothers all of us.

I did get all my DVDs relatively organized in the cabinet, though. I got that done while Sister Girl had me watch Lethal Vows on Lifetime while she washed her hair so I could tell her what happened (she's got a lot of hair), and it was so blindingly obvious yet nonsensical that John Ritter (RIP) was poisoning his ex-wife and his current wife that I knew, immediately, that it had to be a true story, because no one would write a fictional movie in which Marg Helgenberger would flash back to her (now ex-) husband scraping toxic crud out of an old radio into her shampoo and mascara containers YEARS AGO and go, "You know, I suddenly realize that this was suspicious!" Clearly, only real people are that stupid. Of course, I feel bad saying that, because the Helgenberger character, we discover, died in real life years later of leukemia brought on from something like 15 years of being poisoned by this guy. But still, there's something pathetically hilarious, as Lifetime Movies for Women tend to be, about a pathologist who's all like, "No, lady, I did not notice anything weird about your husband's new wife's body, except for the fact that YOU ARE ASKING ABOUT IT, oh, and a telltale odor of chlorine that, really, I can't be arsed to look into. Do you MIND? I am missing my tee time."

I must never watch this channel again, or I will never get anything else done. In fact, I'm not even sure I'd bother with the closet, except that I know I have a fantastic box full of picture books in there.

Linkspam:

BPAL has a new home!

More X-Movies on the way.

$665.99 - The Retail Price of the Beast. (ladyrogue: "Actually, I watched a news story today that because of the gas prices, prices on other items have dropped. So the actual retail price of the Beast is now $545.82.")

"They came back and asked what my problem was. I told them I had one hand full of snake and the other hand full of plane. They cleared me in."

Comments

[molliewollie.livejournal.com]

Snakes on a motherfucking plane!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Also, "one hand full of snake and one hand full of plane" sounds kind of... dirty.

[molliewollie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it should definitely be a euphemism for something.

[pygmymetal.livejournal.com]

OMG REAL SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!

[callmesyd.livejournal.com]

I think the best part of that story is the fact that he named his dauchsund Killer.

Also: Oh, God, don't let them do an Emma Frost movie. I love that character when written well, and God knows THEY WILL NOT WRITE HER WELL.

[piscean-warfare.livejournal.com]

"Emma Frost, a sexy mutant telepath who can transform her skin into diamonds.

At the risk of revealing how very out of the loop I am with the comics world nowadays, I feel I must ask - Since when?? Is this canon (insomuch as anything in Marvel is) or is this something they totally pulled out of their collective arse?

[bardintraining.livejournal.com]

Snakes + Plane = ♥OTP♥

[silaquiholimion.livejournal.com]

take the goose to the other side, go back and get the fox and take him to the side with the goose. then trade the goose for the fox. now take the goose back to the side with the grain and trade him for the grain which you leave with the fox. then go back and take the goose.

[silaquiholimion.livejournal.com]

unless the fox is a grain addict, in which case he will snort the grain. and then we have a big problem.

[elbeonore.livejournal.com]

LOL! And the whole thing is changed if the fox turns out to be a vegitarian.

[silaquiholimion.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry, I haven't a mind for your heathen fowl-age. Take your geese elsewhere and I shall peruse these granular offerings!"

[scornedsaint.livejournal.com]

My dad came home yesterday and announced "I was listening to NPR and there were SNAKES ON A PLANE!"

I'll totally come and clean for you. I find it very calming.

[maetang.livejournal.com]

They should give that man a free ticket to the Snakes On A Plane premier! :^D

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Time to make pâté de foie gras and a down pillow?

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

(I mean, if life hands you a fat goose...)

[sualocin.livejournal.com]

He said the snake darted, do snakes really dart? Not that I've had the pleasure of playing with a wild snake, but ... dart?

[roseredhoofbeat.livejournal.com]

Yup. They'll sit still for awhile and they get bored/scared and... dart.

[sualocin.livejournal.com]

Now I want to go finda snake to play with.

[draconifers.livejournal.com]

Ew, I hate cleaning too.
MORE X MOVIES?! Yay! Just hope they're better, though.

[lenny888.livejournal.com]

It's sad how Lifetime is supposedly "Television for Women", but, I swear, there's so many women getting beat up/poisoned/pushed around and what not. It's kind of sad. And ironic.

[luna-k.livejournal.com]

More X-Movies on the way.

Yay! Um, as long as Ratner stays far, far away?

[amberdulen.livejournal.com]

A snake on a plane?? You have got to be kidding me, that must be the best news story I've ever heard in my life.

[eldritch-flame.livejournal.com]

That number of the Beast thing reminds me of the miniseries White Teeth. One of the sub-plots near the start was that this one character was, um, I think a Jehovah's Whiteness (one of those groups that hand out pamphlets door-to-door, anyway), and her mother's church group was convinced that the end of the world was going to happen at midnight that New Year's Eve. So they all gather together to sit in a circle and pray and then... nothing happened.

The thing that really bugged me was not even that they'd chosen a totally random date for the end of the world, but that they thought it would start at the stroke of midnight, which, since they were in London, would be the stroke of eight pm here. Some people are just silly.

[roseredhoofbeat.livejournal.com]

EVERYONE knows that it has to be midnight in JERUSALEM for the end of the world. DUH.

/sarcasm

more X-Men movies?

[hulamoth.livejournal.com]

While my first reaction is a YAYOMG SCOTT AND JEAN TOTALLY ARE COMING BACK, AREN'T THEY??? I know in my heart that can't be right.

various "X-Men" spinoffs in the works, including Wolverine, Magneto, one on the kids and another on Emma Frost.

I hate Emma Frost.

I'm sorry, I know she's a "person" and she makes a "comeback" from evil but she's still slimey, she's still selfish and hypocritical, and she's just. not. interesting.

I don't know why Marvel is so fixated on her right now, except only to make me beg for Jean. Apparently they think that the Jean/Scott canon is, much like Barbie/Ken, in need of an update? So they gave them mucho-marital problems and brought Emma back onto the scene, despite her relative vapidness - especially next to Jean.

Re: more X-Men movies?

[hulamoth.livejournal.com]

more interesting:
Sheldon Turner, who might be writing Magneto, also has written Snakes on a Plane.

And Wolverine will be scripted by David Benioff, who wrote Troy and will be writing the Ender's Game movie.

[squishysquidgy.livejournal.com]

The problem was that it was an exercise in utter futility because I had no where to put anything--"cleaning" basically meant moving boxes of stuff around the room into a slightly neater arrangement, and maybe throwing away a stack of magazines.
I'd probably spend too much time looking at the magazines, instead of throwing them out, heh.

[claddagh812.livejournal.com]

I recently started cleaning my room. It's almost clean for the first time in well over two years. Almost. And I haven't even started on the closet yet. In other words, I feel your pain.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Meg Cabot's Author Guide To Surviving a Booktour (http://www.megcabot.com/diary/post.cfm/pid/2075)

Meg Cabot's Author Guide to Surviving a Booktour Tip #1:

Before you leave for your book tour, your publicist will send you an ITINERARY (or, if you are making up your own tour, you yourself will send you an ITINERARY).

Immediately print out and read this ITINERARY. This ITINERARY will now become your Bible (or whatever book you own that you read frequently. This does not include whatever book you keep near your toilet, which we all know is a DIFFERENT book than the one you read for comfort during your hours of need. Possibly the book by your toilet is one of the LEFT BEHIND books, so you can chuckle while reading such inspirational prose as: Then Jason went into the supply closet and got saved. Then Jennifer, Stan, and Jeff went into the supply closet and got saved. Then Sarah went into the supply closet and got saved etc).

[rectpropagation.livejournal.com]

I haaaaaate cleeeeeannnnnninnnnnng.

I can never keep my room neat for longer than a week so it often doesn't seem worth the effort.

As for 'the Beast', June 6th is really The National Day of Slayer (http://www.nationaldayofslayer.org/) (page has music, sorry) so everyone can just calm down.

The website says to stay home from work but I suspect that a co-worker plans to play Slayer out loud in the office.