Off Days and Bad Hair

[cleolinda]

I knew yesterday was going to be a bad day (well, let's say "an off day." Katrina is kind of making me reevaluate my concept of a "bad" day) when I woke up and my hair was completely flat. And I have curly hair, y'all. It was still curly, just... flat. Like it'd been pressed inside a book. Which was particularly annoying, since I had washed it and put in extra frizz-ease stuff the day before so that I wouldn't have to wash it yesterday, because I was going to be spending much of the afternoon at the library, and I didn't want to have to get up extra early and sit around waiting on my hair to dry, because I am a lazy cuss. See, it's at a length now where I'm starting to understand where that whole "I can't, I have to wash my hair" excuse came from. It's not as long as it was when I was in high school, for sure, but it's long enough to get supah-tangled and necessitate 45-minute showers with half a bottle of conditioner every two days. And then you don't want to immediately hit the hair dryer because your hair turns out all frizzofluff, you have to let it air-dry a while to get the curl to settle down, and how did this entire entry turn into the saga of my fucking hair? I do not know, people. I do not know.

So. Off day. I have a new purse. Black, genuine leather, $26, Target (insert hurricane guilt here. We're all probably going to have it for at least a month, so settle in and enjoy it, y'all). It's the first "grown-up purse" I've really ever had, although this does not mean that I am above toting my lavender straw clutch around. Point is, my previous purse was basically a stack of pockets and was annoying as fuck because I could never find anything. So I decide to get a shoulder bag, not very big, that you basically just zip open and stick your hand in. Also, my wallet actually fits in it, and nothing is sadder than a wallet that sticks a good two inches out of your purse. (Well, not nothing. Reminds me of a joke I heard: "What's worse than a worm in your apple?" "The Holocaust.")

Anyhoo, I'm feeling all sassy and capable with my new purse and I go to the library to get this forty-page article on tattooing and cannibalism and "Losing Face in Typee," and first of all, I proceed to make an idiot of myself at the reference desk by asking where the reserve desk is, and the guy says, very kindly, "The circulation desk is also the reserve desk." (Look, the school's online journal databases are so good that I rarely actually have to go to the library itself.) And then I go to the circulation desk and ask the guy there about the article, and he asks for the call number, so I give him my class's call number. And he's like, "No, the call number of THE BOOK." So I flee to one of the catalog computers and go look it up. But that's okay, because I've got the Purse of Sassy Capability! It's got change for the copy machine! It's got my student ID/copy card! It's got a notepad to write the call number down on! It's... nowhere in sight. I have literally had the purse out of the house for the first twenty minutes of its existence and I have lost it already.

I march back to the reservulation desk, give the circuvation guy the evil eye, and snatch my purse back off the counter.

And it just went on from there. I spent the day being so hapless that by the time I got home, I spent about an hour reading email and then I just crawled into bed. I didn't even have dinner until about 8:30. I don't know why I was so exhausted, except that maybe it's allergies. Everyone in my house is going around sneezing--me, my mother, the cat, all three dogs. And, I mean, Sam does sneeze to get attention sometimes. Like the time he saw me making a PB&J sandwich, and he knows that he gets pills in peanut butter when he's sick, so he starts coughing at me. I am not making this up. When he wants to go outside or play with you, if you don't immediately cooperate, he starts sneezing at you ("PSHT! PSHT! PSHHHT!"). This was not the sneeze of attentionwhoring. For one, he was out in the hall by himself and not dancing around on my face. Number two, he was sneezing so hard that I was afraid I was going to go out there and find a little explosion of pommy white fur ("PSHHHHHHHHHHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFWWWWWWT!"). And then he came back into the room and started rubbing his eyes with his little paws, so I took him downstairs to get his medicine. Mom's sacked out on the couch with an herbal pillow on her face and the cat is on her back with one paw on her forehead ("What a world, what a worrrrrrld!"), and the entire household is basically sniffly and useless.

So I'm here now, dividing my time between sleeping, waking up after realizing I can't breathe, pretending to go through boxes of papers and magazines, and waiting for fucking Venus in Boston to come in. Please keep in mind that my vitriol is not actually directed at the book, which is a lovely piece of 19th-century sensation lit that I am extremely looking forward to. (The professor asked if we thought Typee, an early Melville effort, was great literature. Then he sort of quipped that none of us, most likely, would think that Venus in Boston is great literature. No, but if it's anything like George Lippard's Quaker City, it will be awesome literature, let me tell you what.) I ordered it from Amazon like two weeks ago, and they claim to have shipped it, and it is still! not! here! And I have to have the first part read by Monday afternoon ARGH.

(Okay, I just checked, and it's supposed to arrive on MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, YOU BASTARDS.)

And then there's the Katrina linkage project. It seems that friends are actually getting worried about me now, which is funny because most of the work is over now--between the links everyone's sending and that I'm seeing on all the sites and boards I visit anyway, it's mostly just pasting them into Semagic on WYSIWYG format and organizing them a little. So it's basically me bumming around with class reading and dog-feeding (fie on you, strict new diabetic feeding schedules!) and pretending to clean and listening to way too much Jewel ("My hands ARE my own!").

I keep showing y'all these because I'm terrified I'm going to design something crap and someone's going to point out a way to make it better only AFTER a dozen people have bought the crap version.

(There are at least a dozen Heroine Addict designs, because... I'm cruel, apparently. Charity, people! Charity!)


 

Comments

[jedilora.livejournal.com]

I need the porno one yesterday. That is how bad I need it.

[leucocrystal]

Oh... man. That paragraph about everyone, even the dogs sneezing... that just made my day. Not to be all "Oooh, I snark at your woe and sneezing" or anything overtly bitchy like that -- it just reminded me of my best friend's dog, and how she'll randomly sneeze and snuffle at his mother whenever she wants to eat an ice cube, lmao.

I hope you all get better soon, though. And the designs are still brilliant. ♥

[jantalaimon.livejournal.com]

while i ain't sayin' Jewel can't possibly have done an acoustic cover of it, Australian group Frente! did an acoustic cover of BLT that actually got a fair bit of airplay on the radio when it came out...

Yes, Frente!

[riverchild.livejournal.com]

I bet it's the Frente version, my copy of that came labeled as "Jewel", too. :)

[chowburger.livejournal.com]

I adore the design of the cousins one. Must have it!

And the worm joke - I didn't know it was an actual one. Though I just had weird friends...

[chowburger.livejournal.com]

And by 'though,' I do, of course, mean 'thought.'

Smackfarthing

[corkdorkdan.livejournal.com]

I just took a trip to the LOST recaps archive (subtle hint-- will we see more soon?) and came across the beloved "Smackfarthing" references. It occurred to me that I haven't seen any mention of these for possible button/mug/hat/t-shirt designs. Something like a "I <3 smackfarthing", possibly with a virgin mary image (the filled statues from the show). Just a thought.

Re: Smackfarthing

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hmm, that probably wouldn't infringe on LOTR rights under parody laws...

(I'm planning on finishing up the last recaps as soon as I buy the DVD set.)

[arielchan.livejournal.com]

BUTTONS!

OMFG BUTTONS!

It relieves me so much to see something I can both afford and use on here. There MUST be at least one button with a Mary Sue meme reference on it, though.

and I should get that one free

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Dude, you actually should. So far I've just got stickers ready, which are comparable in price.

[leila82.livejournal.com]

I used to have a button collection.

Anyway, I'm normally a lurker on your journal, but as a fellow curly-head I sympathize with the flat-hair plight. This works for me: I have a spray bottle (it used to hold spray gel) and I filled it with water. When I don't feel like washing my hair, I flip it upside down, spray the bottom layer till it's damp, and then flip back over and spray the top layer till damp. Usually it dries in about 30 min and looks about as fluffy as it would normally after washing/conditioning/attacking with anti-frizz creme. Hopefully that helps?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

You know, I used to do that--I'll need to get a fresh bottle, but I might should try that again...

[soberloki.livejournal.com]

Cousins!

I'm loving these things. I'm definitely going to buy this stuff, darling. So much fun.

[t4-flirt.livejournal.com]

thank you EVER so much for posting about your household of allergy sufferers. It made me laugh...not at YOU, but b/c I'm suffering as well. The horrid part is that b/c of my being almost 7 months pregnant, I can only have 4 mg of chlorpheniramine(and yes i did go grab the bottle to look up how to spell it) every 6 hours. It does next to nothing.

The cute part is that the cat has taken to sneezing so that she can get attention, b/c my husband's paying all kinds of attention to me. LOL

I hope everyone feels better soon. :)

[princessmandys.livejournal.com]

The cute part is that the cat has taken to sneezing so that she can get attention, b/c my husband's paying all kinds of attention to me. LOL

That's hilarious!! I dunno, should I wish that my dog were that smart? lol

[okaasan59.livejournal.com]

Hurricane guilt. Yeah. I just made a post about that myself. *sigh*

[princessmandys.livejournal.com]

AAAH! i thought i was the only person in the world that A) had days that were as confusing as that and B) who's hair does that! (mine's not strictly curly, but it still goes all....flat. and dead....argh.) *Love ur dogs now...*
Buttons! omgwtf buttons! must have them. those designs are brilliant, of course...more heroine addict ones you say? well charity had better get ready for a whole truckload of my money! are you going to do poto buttons? hmm...images might be hard...but if you just did words...
The best thing about buttons, more than stickers, is that when all of us lowly cleolinda worshippers, (seriously, you're practically a religion), have conventions and such we can all wear our buttons! and they can be code so that when we see eachother in the mall we can wave and say hi! that will be amusing. :D
You rock!

[cosmob.livejournal.com]

...all of us lowly cleolinda worshippers, (seriously, you're practically a religion)...

Not practically, but most definitely a religion. Have you never read the principles of Cleoism (http://www.livejournal.com/users/cleolinda/86878.html)? Get thee hence and read!

[aria624.livejournal.com]

Its too bad you have to worry about copyright stuff, because I would love to see a "Good Ship Charlie loves Babymama" and "Sayidistan" stickers.

And I totally sympathize with the purse thing. I lose anything that's not attached to my body. My teachers actually started recognizing which purses were mine after I left them in the classroom so many times during my first two years of college - after which time I stopped carrying a purse to class.

[mysteryflavor.livejournal.com]

Omg I second the Charlie loves Babymama stickers.

And I thought ordering all my schoolbooks on Amazon was a good idea too. I have so far received 2 of at least 12, neither of which are the ones I need for next week. Clearly these things must be done months in advance.

[telesilla.livejournal.com]

Eeee! So much button love. Plus, yay stickers, since I have this laptop that I would like to look different from every other Dell out there. And very cool design for the heroine addict buttons. I'll be getting one of those as well.

[demonqueen666.livejournal.com]

Oh man do I want that cousins one. That totally rocks me like a hurricane so hardcore.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

My labmates think I'm nuts because I snorfled and blurgled and gibbled for two straight minutes over your purse adventure. That's how long it took me to read it, because I had to keep pausing to unstuffle.

--

I love the buttons!

You want some Not Jewel?

[kira002.livejournal.com]

I have mp3 and wav versions of Nancy Wilson's Elizabethtown tracks. Listening to them is like being in your most relaxing daydream ever. EVER. The last track is called "Sun on a Rug" which, in my opinion, sums up the entire collection.

If she's at the Chicago Film Festival, I may embarrass myself completely by openly weeping at her feet.

You want 'em?

Re: You want some Not Jewel?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

YAY!

[syneblue.livejournal.com]

I just want to say you're an awesome person. Maybe it's because I too suffer from the curse of by-curley-we-mean-frizztastic! hair, maybe it's because dogs sneezing to get attention is random beyond all hope, but you made me laugh so hard my chest hurts. Reading your journal for the past few days has made me realize how much there still is to do (and convinced me to put my money where my mouth is) but it was really nice to be able to laugh out loud like that.
Thank-you, you just made my day awesome.

[mokeyhokey.livejournal.com]

I think sneezing is a Pomeranian "thing" or something; our pom Hercules doesn't sneeze for attention, really, but he sneezes when it makes no logical sense to sneeze. Like, if you roll him on his back? Sneeze. Throw a ball? Sneeze. Play fight? Sneeze. Tempt with treats? Sneeze.

At least he doesn't make much of a mess. Or Lab, though...it's like someone let loose with a spray bottle when she sneezes. *ew*

[ambiguousreason.livejournal.com]

I LOVE the buttons! *weeps with joy* One thing comment/thought/semi-suggestion: I haven't seen many designs using quotes from the LOST recaps, which makes me sad.

The purse/library adventure is hilarious.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I'm getting around to them. I figure, it's charity, so anything I can possibly think of a decent design for will go up. It's just taking a little time, is all. : )

[christwise.livejournal.com]

Le gasp! Cousins!

Must... have...

[shesnotallthere.livejournal.com]

I hear ya. I feel like hell on toast, but I think it's a sinus infection in my case. I took off work early because I just couldn't follow a thought from one end to the other...all I could focus on was my sore throat and my suddenly-very-heavy head.

I am now drinking ginger ale and wishing the bed wasn't so very far away. I honestly don't think I can walk the three feet it would take to get there.

I'm also sad, because I was gonna play with my new oils some more, but now I can't smell anything. :o(

[achipiquonque.livejournal.com]

I can see pink and purple baby tees from your "Cleolicious Couture" clothing line.

I, too, had to read 'Quaker City'

[(Anonymous)]

Most awesome thing I had to read in college, indeed. In fact, maybe the Best Porn Ever.

~ Gwynevere1

Re: I, too, had to read 'Quaker City'

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Dude! The professor had us keeping a running "bosom" count.

[tifaria.livejournal.com]

I'm glad my house isn't the only one with a buncha useless allergy sufferers in it. Even my cats are all sneezing, and with seven cats, it's hilarious. Sometimes they all sneeze at the same time and it sounds like a really high-pitched sqeaky horn.. thing. I am also afraid that one day I'll come home and find nothing but traces of fur from where they once were.

And I so want that porno button.

[katels.livejournal.com]

This is going to sound awful. But, Cleo, I'm so glad this was an entry about you and not Katrina!

It was all we've come to expect from you, minus your huge heart. Which is great, don't get me wrong. But this was better.

I claim being on the other side of the world as my defence. I got caught up in the SE Asia tsunami and stuff, forgive me if I have a slightly more fleeting response to Katrina. I'll be buying badges and stickers as though my life depended on it, and by god do I feel for all those people who got stuck in those areas (I wish I could vote in the US to try and make some people pay), not to mention the sheer damage to houses and livelihoods.

But this was MUCH more fun. Am I a nihilist? Or just cold-hearted?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

No, I know what you mean. I mean, I felt bad about the tsunami, but it was just something that happened Over There, in a way. The reason I really wanted to do a CafePress store was that people would get something out of it even if they didn't care that much about the cause. And really, I appreciate other countries' aid and sympathy, but I understand if/that it's not as important to them, because it didn't *happen* to them. I mean, that's just common sense, as far as I'm concerned.