(no subject)

[cleolinda]

So... Fantastic Four was cute, in a mediocre way. The non-snarky dialogue was awful, in that the characters were always saying the most obvious, clichéd thing possible. That, and there's a weird plot--well, I won't call it a hole, but there's something that Victor wants to ask Sue near the beginning of the movie, and then there's something Sue says to Reed at the end about her and Victor, and you're like, "Wait--what? Then--what crack was Victor on?" (Actual spoiler: >>Victor's trying to propose to Sue but gets interrupted, and then at the end, Sue's all like, "There never was a 'Victor and me.'" Yeah? Well, that big-ass diamond ring he bought for you seems to imply otherwise, Susie.<<) Also? VICTOR VON DOOM. Are you kidding me? I mean, I know that's his name in the comics (I suppose?) but... VON DOOM? Whaaaaaateverrrrrr. Also, the big set piece in the middle, on the bridge, was sort of hilariously stupid because it was like, the Four basically CAUSED everything that happened, in addition to saving everyone from it. And it just kept going on and on and on. And our villain didn't even start villing until the last twenty minutes--which I didn't even mind, really, because this seems to be a movie less about crimefighting and more about what it would be like just to live with bizarro powers (and the attending upsides and downsides), which didn't bother me. What bothered me was that >>they defeated the villain in a fairly brief scene that ended with a huge crowd being like, "Yay!" while poor Victor is left standing as a frozen metal statue in the middle of the street. The whole scene was just kind of... pitiful and half-assed, somehow. It didn't help that I had just watched X-Men on FX the night before, a movie that is also pretty top-heavy with character interaction and backstory, and yet still manages to end with several major action scenes and a climax on the Statue of Liberty. Fantastic Four? Some guy turned into a statue on his very first night of villing. That's just sad, y'all.<<

I basically went to see it because Chris Evans' Human Torch made me laugh in the previews, and Ioan Gruffudd is pretty. Unfortunately, his whole Dr. Dork character effectively neutered him (well, technically I guess the costume people "neutered" him--thanks, animegurl65), and he and Jessica Alba had zero chemistry. However, I can attest, even as a straight girl, that Alba (who was actually able to make the blonde work for her in the movie in a way it doesn't work in real life, somehow) is hot. Also, keep an eye out for Marita Covarrubias Laurie Holden as Ben's girlfriend, which was a weird little moment--like, duh, no wonder she left you, Ben; clearly she's getting a little double-agent love from Krycek on the side.

Back to cleaning. I hate cleaning. Argh.

Comments

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

I do so admire how you've made "vill" (-e?) into a verb.

[redmapletree.livejournal.com]

Villing. Hee. *giggle*

OT

[blackblack.livejournal.com]

Cute icon! I've seen a few people using it. Where'd you get it, if you don't mind me asking?

[iamthemoon.livejournal.com]

OMG. Mr. Fantastic cannot be neutured. That is so wrong.

Haha, at Burger King we were talking about the Fantastic Four, as they're all over the cups, and I was like "Do you think Mr. Fantastic can stretch...you know, everywhere?" And this one lady went, "Whoo-wee, I sure hope so, cuz he don't look like he got anything going on down there!" *snort*

[keever.livejournal.com]

Oh, the icon love. Do you happen to know if it's snaggable (with credit to the maker, of course)?

[syy90.livejournal.com]

I went to see it for the exact same reasons! And also came out of the cinema with the same view of it. Visually pleasing, but the rest of it was rather..."limp".

[twilight-zen.livejournal.com]

I knew the script was going to suck. I totally called it back when this was being filmed. They just have been writing lamer and lamer superhero scripts. The only way you get a good one is if you have someone like Brian Singer (of The Unusual Suspect) or Ian McKellan (whose career is far too amazing to catalog and whose acting ability is generally oscar caliber) or someone who is very savvy at choosing mostly interesting scripts or projects (see Spiderman's Tobey Maguire and Sam Raimi).

On neutering Ioan? When will they learn that it would be SMART to show that superheroes have BIG DICKS?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Snerk. Seriously, though? Both the guys' suits were a little distracting in that regard. I mean, even considering that they apparently did some reductive work...

[papervolcano]

I've not seen it, because it doesn't come out over here until the 22nd (and because it's not up as a torrent yet), but yes, the entire reason I'm going to see it is Jonny Storm, since he just seems to be *fantastic* (if you'll excuse the pun...) in the trailers.

Howeeeeeeeeeeever, as a long-time fan of the comics, may I pimp Ultimate Fantastic Four at you? It's supercool comic stuff, and I am crushing on Reed liek whoa. The first trade is out at the moment. It's probably a lot more friendly to not-comic people than the usual(616) Universe stuff

Yes. Von DOOM. Does the fact that he was first written in the 60's, and the comics were full of that kind of subtle hinting back then help at all?

[hongkongaton.livejournal.com]

I felt the same exact way about it!
I loved the part where Ben's girlfriend comes out of their apartment in her silk nightie. That scene was so very awkward, that I started giggling to myself. :P
Oh and I love that link. I wonder if he took the "neutering" as a compliment?

[maverickgirl.livejournal.com]

Is that a "Brokeback Mountain" icon, or am I seeing things?? Nonetheless, I adore all icons with pretty boys in them.

[herigstad.livejournal.com]

Me, I just can't get get over how cheesy the stretch effect looked.
Granted, not half so bad as the Scorpion King in Mummy Returns, but..geez, they didn't even improve the stretching-under-the-door effect that the used in the trailer. They just...left it.

[theonlykow.livejournal.com]

Wow, "cute, in a mediocre way." I'm horrified that I couldn't sum up the movie that well on my own.

The biggest downfall was, indeed, that the fight with Doom took all of what, six seconds? Also, Mr. Fantastic kind of got shafted - his role ended up being, "fall apart, then be frozen, then funnel some water." Uh?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, not to offend Fantastic Fans, but... his power kind of sucks, considering that he's the leader. The filmmakers clearly thought that Johnny and Sue had the "sexiest" powers, and so focused on them. And Thing, I guess, because he can do the whole HULK SMASH rip-off thing. Reed's just... stretchy and dorky. I know you can't screw with beloved characters and all, but I almost think they could have gotten better mileage out of Johnny being the stretchy one--he's the daredevil AND the ladykiller. Tell me they couldn't have gotten some kama sutra jokes out of that.

[anna-sinistra.livejournal.com]

Cha... who wouldn't ditch their boy for Krycek?

[maverickgirl.livejournal.com]

Myself, I'd settle for a threesome.

[skyblade.livejournal.com]

I noticed the movie had egeneral lack of heroines for you to play with, so I whipped up another icon for your collection. Enjoy! (http://photobucket.com/albums/v716/Skyblade/th_heroinething.bmp) (note: it's a bitmap image)

[ambiguousreason.livejournal.com]

I still want to see it, despite its mediocre-ness.. of course, one of my friends saw it last night and said that it was awesome, so God knows. I think I'll wait until I can see it at the cheap theatre for $4.50, thanks.

Also? Mr. Human Torch Whatever is hot. If you ask me.

[theonlykow.livejournal.com]

Chris Evans, when he goes unshorn, is indeed gorgeous. I was shocked.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

I was saying to Skyblade last night that Alba just doesn't do it for me. The Hilton hairdo at the beginning was a particular turn-off, although I guess I'm just not fond of blond overall. Alba was much sexier in Sin City, I thought. Most of the snark worked for me, but the movie had me feeling sorry for Ben. There were a couple of scenes were I really got angry at Torch, and it kind of killed the funny toward the end. Also? The last scene was so contrived that I could hear belts slipping in the plot machinery. That sucker needed oil.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

By the way, on the topic of Dr. Doom: His spirit was villing, but his flesh was weak.
*runs away*

[jnerd.livejournal.com]

The thing that most bothered me about the movie was their complete and utter lack of heroism. As you said, the whole bridge thing was comically stupid since they caused all of the trouble in the first place. As for fighting Doom (who, incidentally did "vill" a little earlier, but just on a banker, so that hardly counts), they only did that after he attacked them, which seems more vengeful than heroic to me. I mean, so what if the guy wants a little power? It's not like they knew he had done bad things to anyone else. And really, how much more damage did they cause than Doom did? On the whole, I'd say it's arguably in the public's best interest for him to try to put those selfish, clumsy dorks down like a housedog who you can't train to stop biting visitors.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

I watched X-men a handful of nights ago with a couple friends. Who were then like, "oo, we must go see Fantastic 4 cuz comic-books-made-movies-squee!"

I was so glad that I managed to convince them to wait a couple days weeks months until X-men wasn't as fresh and "omg SO GOOD" in their minds...

Death to cleaning! ¡Vive el lío!

[royalsongstress.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Now I don't know what to think. Very mixed reviews. My local paper thought it was good and that Ioan rocked. A lot of people have said that Ioan sucks and the movie sucks. I'll just have to go see for myself, I guess. I have a high tolerence of bad movies. Especially when they have cute Welshmen in them.

In French he's 'Von Fatalis', which is way more catchier in my opinion. Oddly, Mr. Fantastic is the only one whose name remains the same. You'd think he'd be M. Fantastique, but nope. I'm exceedingly glad they made Johnny 'Le Torche Humain', because 'Flambeau' is waaaay too dorky.

[danny-boy-bell.livejournal.com]

"'Flambeau' is waaaay too dorky"

In the Father Brown mysteries by G. K. Chesterton, Fr. Brown's "Watson" is a former thief known as Flambeau. Just thought I'd mention it.

[vodou-chile.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the "Von Doom" thing... Yeesh. They could at least have spelled in some pseudo-ethnic way so that it was marginally believable.
I dunno... Von Dughme maybe?

Love the "invisible ink" spoiler technique, btw!

[historyblitz.livejournal.com]

God am I glad I never saw it. :)

[agentsculder.livejournal.com]

Cleo, I was just wondering if by any chance you got the package I sent you? If not, I am cursing the US Postal Service and its inability to deliver priority mail within the specified period.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Last thing I got in the mail was from RWS, so... uh oh. Which address did you send it to, my PO box?

[monkey-nugget.livejournal.com]

I wonder how many people would pay to see Ioan Gruffudd un-costume-neutered

-ponders-

yeah I basically only want to see it cuz Chris Evans was funny in the previews too

[mysticowl.livejournal.com]

I just came back from seeing the movie myself. My husband agrees with you, but I really liked it. My only problem is that none of the FF four defended the Thing against the general dickheadedness that was going on against him, they just patted him on the back and said, "There there." I'm still trying to puzzle out the sign on the back of the boat at the very end. "Head finger leg" What? A huh wha? "Little head of the toe" ummm that doesn't make any sense to me but that's what it says... Latveria's national slogal or something? Doesn't help that it's not a real country, maybe we should ask Stan Lee about that.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

My only problem is that none of the FF four defended the Thing against the general dickheadedness that was going on against him, they just patted him on the back and said, "There there."

Seriously--if I had been Sue, I would have have been saying a lot more than just "Johnnyyyyyyyyyy!" when Fire Boy was picking on him. His GIRLFRIEND just LEFT HIM, you DICKHEAD.

Maybe it's all the Welshcake I've been consuming...

[kira002.livejournal.com]

Just got back from seeing it (took my 6-year-old niece) and basically my reaction is: YUM! IOAN! Further analysis of any alledged plotline and/or other characters must be reserved for future viewings. I'm so buying this DVD.

What can I say? I am a slave to the Welshcake.

Re: Maybe it's all the Welshcake I've been consuming...

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I admit that I will so own this DVD if there are lots of extras and/or commentaries with Ioan and his real accent.

[millie-monster.livejournal.com]

I was sad the movie was not more fantastic.
Though, there were plenty of hot guys ^_^
Except they did neuter Ioan...and his stretchyness really just creeped the shit out of me >_< It's not a cool power. It's gross and requires too much obvious computer animation. >_<
Also...references made to the blind chick and the Thing ... like doing it? EW!
And you're right, the defeating of the villian was too quick. And easy. And stupid Jessica Alba was all girly and dumb and got a nosebleed...and then the blood magically dissapeared.
*shrug*

[mysticowl.livejournal.com]

Also...references made to the blind chick and the Thing ... like doing it? EW!

I take it you werne't one fo those who wanted Goliath and the human cop (it's been years...) to get it on and went all Squee over the much awaited kiss. (Yes, I'm talking about Gargoyles. I have a crush on Goliath... sue me) ;)

[edda.livejournal.com]

I wanna go see it even if it is just about dealing with superpowers. (Which really? The X-Men did living with powers/fighting bad guys already? And they did it well? And they had the Hugh Jackman Of Extreme Sexing? And the Fantastic Four people? Had better do it it proper next time.)

[luindilwen.livejournal.com]

Ohhh....the visual of a 'neutered' Ioan just completely ruined the movie for me. *sulk*