(no subject)

[cleolinda]

SISTER GIRL NEEDS TO TURN OFF THE HEATER TOUTE SUITE. IT'S 73°F OUTSIDE, I CANNOT ART IN THIS HEAT. WHY AM I RHYMING? PLEASE SEND HELP, AND POSSIBLY A PORTABLE AC. And chocolate.

Good discussion about The King and I in class today--visiting professor sat in. I can't tell if she's written her book or is writing her book. I hope if she's writing it still that we helped.

I'm still taking my Headcold of Death zinc supplements. Can anyone give me a reason why I should stop? Seriously, I don't know if they're safe for regular use or not.



It's Pimp Request Amnesty Week here on Occupation: Girl:

From modpixie: i'm making a movie based on "tam lin" and set in the 1920s. in order to raise money, i've put an excerpt from it online, and if your readership wishes they can donate a few dollars. (of course, i'd also love for people to review the film at archive.org and link to it.) i hope to go into production this summer, so wish me luck. :)

From allova: I'd like to put our 'Darth Vader for Pope' campaign and petition forward for your consideration, in the vague hope that the idea will appeal to your sense of humour and thus be worthy of pimpage.




Misc. links:

No, I am not linking to the $250 vulva puppet.

I shouldn't find this as funny as I do: Kasparov Hit Over Head With Chessboard.

This is just disturbing: Man Catches Fire During Surgery.

Viggo pornstache ahoy!

Less interesting, but seedier: Arrest Warrant for 'American Pie' Actress Lyonne.

Oh, and vladimirsever says that The Interpreter is pretty good after all. Also, he has Lemony Snicket book and movie sequel scoopage. Go, go!




Oh, and one of the Snarkfesters--she's on LJ, but I won't mention her name unless she's says it's okay, because... wow, is she gonna have some jellus folks on her tail, let me tell you what--realized that the Game of Their Lives premiere was in her town. Oh, you know... that evening. So she hoofs it on down there yesterday and... meets Gerard Butler. And gets his autograph. And a kiss. Yeah, you read that right. She was very calm and civil and polite, unlike the nutters who showed up at his Leno taping last week with a cardboard cutout--and (sing it if you know the words) Cardboard Cutouts Are Not Of The Lord, Y'all--and jumped him. I am serious, people--clothing was forcibly compromised, tongues were involved, laws were broken. Soooooo craaaaaazy. Which is sad, because what our girl discovered is that, apparently, all you have to do is ask and he's more than happy to pony up the kisses. Heh.


Another Snarkfest story, this one about Clive Owen, from Admiral Neck. Maybe I shouldn't repost it, but--quite frankly, "the Clive Point" is one of the funniest things I've ever wished happened to me heard. I've edited in some updated details she gave us:

A few years back a [coworker] was buying the last copy of a paper at a stall, just as Mr. Owen strode up. He wanted the same paper, and the friend handed it over, sweat springing up on her brow. He was supposedly most gracious. However, about ten minutes later she got onto a tube just as he walked onto the platform, and he pointed at her and then at himself. She stammered something along the lines of, "But I've got to go to work," and the doors hissed shut on him. She is quoted as saying he looked thoroughly put out, complete with comical pouty face.

When she arrived in the office and told everyone what had happened there was a chorus of shrieks and many many wagging fingers over the missed opportunity. Not sure if this was before or after his marriage. [It was 1999, so after.] I'm not going to go into the ethics of married men 'scamming chicks', but the [coworker] was reportedly walking on clouds for some time, as well as being the envy of all of her friends. The man does command the lady-love, it seems.

blixie: I know I should find the whole story kinda skeevy but I just find it hott.

PrincessCleo: I concur.

blixie: And honestly I can't bag on your co-worker, I mean nobody *expects* to get propositioned by Clive Owen in the Underground. You need at least a few minutes to digest that that's what's happening.

Admiral Neck: Yeah, when she staggered through the office entrance, clammy with sweat and listing slightly to one side, she said, "I think I just got chatted up by Clive Owen!" to which the entire room said, "Fuck!"

Comments

[bibliotech.livejournal.com]

NO, NATASHA, OUR LOVE WAS SO PURE. STAY AWAY FROM THE DOGGIES!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee! It actually took me a moment to figure out who you were talking about. I mean, of all the things I just posted, Natasha...

(Why does Clive never point at me? I mean, there's the whole thing about me not being in England or, indeed, within 500 miles of him, but jeez.)

[jedilora.livejournal.com]

Popping by to say thank you SO MUCH for pimping my poll. Seriously, two grade points up on that just because I could say "Look! I've got over a hundred people on this thing in the course of a couple of days!"

And I'd like to add onto the vulva puppet thing. Over in writers_orgasm(and that's an anacronym) we were discussing that, and the fact that each one of the suckers is NAMED. One is named "Veela," thus demonstrating that the tentacles of Harry Potter are everywhere.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yay! I like using my powers for good and sometimes evil.

[coconut-zebra.livejournal.com]

Huh. And I thought David Thewlis's Lupin had a pornstache.

Viggo as a pirate...hmm. Right now it's kinda funny!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Whole movie's in Spanish, too. I figure it's going to be some kind of awesome no matter what happens--awful-awesome or awesome-awesome, doesn't matter.

[athena799.livejournal.com]

What is it with former Lord of the Rings stars and pirate movies?!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I dunno, but I like it. : D

[la-sonnambula.livejournal.com]

I'm certain that there's a vulva puppet out there whose name is Mulva.

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, I read that and my brain immediately went, "It's Mulva, Mulva, Mulva the Vulva Puppet" to the tune of Weird Al Yankovic's "Harvey the Wonder Hamster".

I. Need. Sleep.

[sleepypawn.livejournal.com]

In the newest Jane magazine written by Michael Rappaport about how he rented his apartment out to Natasha Lyonne and she completely trashed it. It even mentions the incident which that arrest warrant is for.

I just found it odd that he wrote a piece for a national (women's) magazine about how crazy Natasha Lyonne was.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Nice. Well, some crazy must be shared.

[modpixie.livejournal.com]

thanks for the pimpin', sweets! i'd love to know more about your writing thing with the tam lin character.

it makes me really sad that natasha lyonne has t3h crazy, for some reason.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Most welcome. And that's just my crazy fantasy opus that's always on the backburner while the back story reaches Silmarillion levels of annoyingly complicated. The Tam Lin character actually sort of became a Peter Pan figure over time--he's in several separate storylines, so he's a fun character. : )

[shezan.livejournal.com]

Well, Kasparov is a brave man to oppose Putin, so, no, even though I can see the possible joke, it's not so funny...

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I know. I feel really bad about it--I think I'm imagining the chessboard-smacking going down the way it would in a crap movie or TV show, is the problem.

[meredith-mae.livejournal.com]

ooooooh *glances at music* I saw the Killers in concert on Saturday. It was good. Very sexy.

[annakat1021.livejournal.com]

Eh, I don't know about the zinc. My boyfriend used to take zinc regularly and he had stomach pains and appetite loss until he stopped taking them.

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

I can't speak for the Zinc that you swallow, but the nasal kind may have killed some people's sense of smell:
http://www.zicamsideeffects.com/side_effect/zinc_kills_smell.html
(This is not my first choice of website for unbiased info, but it's characteristic of the claims that are being made.)

I wouldn't take any medication all the time if you're not having symptoms.

[kira002.livejournal.com]

I want Clive to point to meeeeeeeeee! *whines*

Also, Natasha has often exhibited signs of the crazy. Girl needs some help.

[stardustmajick.livejournal.com]

73 degrees is hot for you? That's almost blanket weather for most of the people who live here, in Florida, Land of the Unholy Sun and Humidity. I want your molecular heating system. I want to live where you are! I WANT THE SUN TO GO AWAY AND NOT PLAGUE ME UNTIL 8:00 O'CLOCK AT NIGHT!

*glances around furtively and makes sure she has enough sunscreen to bathe in for tomorrow's trip outdoors*

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Weirdly, I'm just over here in Alabama. But then, I'm cold-natured and want it at 65 degrees year-round.

[scarolinagrl.livejournal.com]

Molest a dog? oh my. *covers eyes*

[ali-jayne.livejournal.com]

Yup. Surgery fires happen aaaaaalll the time. I work in surgery, and we have "meetings" every three months to discuss fire safety. Boring, yes.

Until they show the video of surgical drapes spontaneously asploding into Firey Flames O'Death, that is. THen it's really entertaining.

[thespianlizling.livejournal.com]

You kow, that's kind of funny. Surgery go 'SPLODE... ;-) I'm not disturbed, I promise.

[thespianlizling.livejournal.com]

"Adults seeking a deeper intimacy with their partners, use a Wondrous Vulva puppet to lighten the mood while having those often difficult conversations about sex." If MY "partner" whipped out a Vulva Puppet, I would be horrified that I ever let such an obviously disturbed individual touch me. And in Conan O'Brien's defense, what reasonable human wouldn't be afraid of a basketball-sized vulva?
Speaking of reasonable humans, how does one even THINK of threatening to sexually molest one's neighbor's pets?
Also, I totally <3 Viggo's new look. I'd totally do him ... not that I wouldn't have before ... unless he secretly owns a Wondrous Vulva puppet.
Stay cool, Cleo; don't think too much about getting propositioned by Clive Owen.

[bakednudel.livejournal.com]

But what if Clive Owen propositioned Cleo with a Vulva Puppet? What if there was a third point in there, between the one and him and the one at Cleo?

[shesnotallthere.livejournal.com]

When ingesting more than 30-40 mg of zinc a day, you run the risk developing zinc toxicity. The recommended daily allowance of zinc for a female (age 19 and up) is 8 mg a day. If you eat, you're most likely already getting your 8 milligrams.

[shesnotallthere.livejournal.com]

Oops...make that 8-15 mg a day. Keyboard got away from me there.

Also, docs usually don't recommend taking zinc for a cold any longer than three days.

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

AND POSSIBLY A PORTABLE AC. And chocolate.

BUT THE CHOCOLATE WOULD MELT!

Speaking of celebrity gossip, one of the girls on LJ is Tim Daly's (Eyes, Wings) cousin.

She says she only sees him at Major Family Events like weddings and funerals, though.

And I said, anyone in the family really, really ill right now?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

BUT THE CHOCOLATE WOULD MELT!

Not if I also have the AC!

[queenofattolia.livejournal.com]

Pornstasche Pirate Viggo looks exactly, but exactly like Ed Harris (something I have long suspected, providing he were given the right lighting, costumes, etc.). Not of the good.

And "AUUUGGGGGHHH!" to the Clive story. That woman is deranged -- she used work as an excuse? I would have had my knickers off on the tube platform in a second, no questions asked. I'll bet she'll regret that all her life, because a Skeevy!Clive is still Clive. Jeebus.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I kind of understand her reaction, though. I mean, it's not like this is the thing you're generally prepared for.

... well, I mean, those of us hearing this story are now, but...

[timehastoldme.livejournal.com]

i had to do it.

[sagitare.livejournal.com]

Okay, I totally have to say this about the whole "Clive Point" thing because it's been driving me crazy. My thoughts on this are thus: if I'm going to get propositioned by anyone, even Clive Owen, then they'd damn well better pony up more than a 'you - me?' hand gesture! I want dinner at least, dammit!

Seriously, that's just kind of a bizarre story. I mean, really - a complete stranger does him a little favour and gives him the last magazine or whatever, so he feels perfectly fine...asking her to sleep with him? (no, wait - not asking, gesturing! Gesturing for her to sleep with him!!) What, is his libido permanently set to MUST FUCK? Because if so he makes Butler look like a monk!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I know, dude. It's very caveman. And yet... I find it hot. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT. To me, what makes the story, though, is the fact that he goes all out with this presumptuous gesture, and it's not even that she gives him a good slap and a "You, sir, are no gentleman, sir!" It's that she's all like, "Uh... sorry...?" and he's left pouting there as the doors close in his face.

[alexthedevil.livejournal.com]

PLEASE SEND HELP, AND POSSIBLY A PORTABLE AC. And chocolate.

Tim Tams are in the mail, though I have no idea when they'll get there =P

[altiloquent.livejournal.com]

I want a vulva puppet.

But really, I'm just fascinated by the fact that they called them "wondrous" 'cause that's creepy.

[thespianlizling.livejournal.com]

Do you have a better word? I mean, is there a word that fits in front of "vulva" any better than "wondrous"?

Unrelated: I just found this

[iczer6.livejournal.com]

Hey remember when you mentioned that you and your Mom were looking for a 'Snow Queen' doll by the Franklin Mint?

I just found one on eBay (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=15982&item=5572811707&rd=1).

I don't know if it's the doll you were looking for but I just wanted to let you know.

Re: Unrelated: I just found this

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Holy mother of... Actually, I can't tell if it's the one. I don't think it is--I was looking for what I thought was a Narnia White Witch, and it had a dagger and an extremely pissed-off expression, but now I'm not sure. The doll is very similar, though, even if it's not exactly the same. DAMMIT! I wish I had the rest of my book money now.

[cici-chan.livejournal.com]

"But I've got to go to work"?! Who in their right mind turns down Clive Owen?!

I would

[bell-witch.livejournal.com]

Then again, I have no idea who Clive Owen is.

There's also something to be said for having had such a person come on to you and you being the one that turned them away. Probably doesn't happen much to this man, from the responses I've seen.

And, if the guy was married and I knew it, I'd turn him down flat. "Sorry, but I don't go out with married men" is enough of an answer.

Either way, though, you've got a story.

[yarha.livejournal.com]

Well, there was that politician who lived on zinc supplements and turned completely *blue*! Well, wait..maybe it was silver or he had some smurf lineage.

Never mind. Best to stick to the USRDA.

Yarha, Blue Moon