(no subject)

[cleolinda]

So I did go to class, and then I came home and had a happy nap, and a couple of Samoas, read some more comments, wrote some more for the book, and I have all nice clean clothes and I feel vaguely human again. Whee!




Oscar round-up:

Special Oscar Edition of the Galaxy of Fame.

Wow, Jessica and Heather of Go Fug Yourself are livin' large on MSNBC this year.

Tim Robbins, who has a much better sense of humor than Sean Penn, responds to Chris Rock's crack about his politics boring us to death.

Remember how I told you Robin Williams was supposed to sing something? Here's how the song was going to go.

Gwynevere from the FT POTO thread contributes this excellent piece of trivia: You remember when I said (desperately flailing for a name and not coming up with one) that "some guy" accepting Best Song was so glad that The English Patient didn't have a song? Yeah. You know who won Best Song that year? Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice for Evita. Something stirring in my memory suggests that Tim Rice is the one who actually said it, but--heeeeeee.

Cintra Wilson takes no prisoners over at Salon:

Now, "Million Dollar Boobies": That was NOT the best movie of the year. That was the Champ, the Jackie Coogan, 1930s, gloves, tears, sweat 'n' snot classic, rewritten for a younger female and older male, who exercise their sexless intimacy [WARNING! END OF THE MOVIE GIVEN AWAY!] through broken noses and mercy-killing. It was a solidly good film, but for me, it was like paying $325 a night to stay in a four-star hotel -- Clint, Morgan and Hilary are pretty much the gold standard, and if it you can't pull the wagon with those three majestic Clydesdales of the Thespian Craft, it has no wheels. That film had tasteful wallpaper, thick towels, a rose on the bedspread, and no real funk or character. But you can cry a world of hurt while watching that has nothing to do with the film itself, and I think that's why it won: It was cathartic. We're in a lot of collective pain, we're weary and confused, and Clint hit the right release valve. Big Daddy's going to put you out of your misery now, Tiger. You just rest.

"The Aviator," despite the fact that Leo DiCaprio still doesn't look anything like an adult, was the year's best film, in my not-so-humble O. -- expansive, sprawling, lush, highly capable entertainment. Scorsese ought to get some Hollywood props, now that he's more like Cecil B. DeMille than Sam Peckinpah. Gone is the angry young man who gave us the coke-fueled and gritty, abusive realism of 1970s yesteryear -- enter the respected and law-abiding elder, with the fat line of credit and the soft spot for Luxicolored Prettyscapes in Technifying Epic-scope, with a cast o' thousands. That's what America needs right now -- not fight, but flight.

Things I learned from the 77th Academy Awards:

Sean Penn has a defective sense of humor.

The hot color this year was... yellow?

The hot hairstyle for men this year was... awful?

Gwyneth Paltrow: Seven years later, still incapable of finding a dress that fits.

Chris Rock is seemingly incapable of going five minutes without making a joke about race. And I say this as someone who has about half of Bring the Pain memorized.

I could be at my dog's funeral, but you could play the opening Phantom theme ("DUN! DUNDUNDUNDUN DUHHHHH!") and I would still crack up.

Beyonce is capable of sucking in two different languages. But not three.

Cate Blanchett rocks my socks and my fox and my box. But you knew that.

Kirsten and Orlando are so doing it.

Jeremy Irons? Comedy superstar.

When in doubt, wear the chandelier.

Having both Josh Groban and Clay Aiken has created a major redundancy in the universe. But Groban can stay.

So does having both Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek. But Salma can stay. Because she could probably take me down with her bare accent hands.

Someone bought Vin Diesel hair for Christmas, and he really needs to take it back.

Best heels: Prince.

The guy who won for the Motorcycle Diaries song totally should have performed it himself, but he's not famous, so he can go screw.

Occasionally, the people who really deserve it will actually win.

Once again, everything is about Julia Roberts.

Barbra Streisand should be shot and put out of my misery.

You can rent a Phantom!



So, let's see:

Cate Blanchett wins and is classy and thanks all the right people, and everyone at home goes, "Well, maybe the show is going to be pretty normal after all." Check.

Thomas Haden Church can't get over the fact that he went from Wings to this. Check.

Jamie Foxx is pretty happy, too, because he knows he's winning a different category and so he doesn't care. Check.

Morgan Freeman wins, and everyone is happy and gives him a standing ovation. Check.

And while everyone's distracted Alan Alda tries to get something started: "You gonna take that sitting down, man? [...] I thought you were the tough guy! Go kick his ass!" and Clive Owen's all like, "I can't! My agent has me on this whole Not As Working-Class As You Think thing!" And Alan Alda's like, "You disappoint me, man." You cannot convince me that this did not happen.

Out in the audience, Johnny Depp starts drinking from a pocket flask. Just because we didn't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Jamie Foxx gets up there and whoops and hollers and starts thanking everyone he has known since birth. Check.

Clint Eastwood, the only person there who seems to think someone other than Foxx could have won, is all pouting because he wanted Best Actor rilly, rilly bad. Check.

Colin Farrell's hookers and blow have arrived. Check.

Eastwood wins Best Director, and Scorsese bursts into tears. Check... on the inside.

Back in LA, Robert DeNiro makes a discreet call on his cell phone to a trusted associate back in New Jersey. After tonight, Clint Eastwood is never seen again. Have you seen Clint today? I'm just saying.

Santana and Banderas and Johnny Depp are all playing in the Hunter S. Thompson Memorial Jam, and Colin Farrell has come out with his bitchez to trade illegal substances. Don't lie, you know this totally happened.


And now, as if this entry weren't long enough, let's speculate without any grounds whatsoever: what do you think will end up nominated next February?

Comments

[megmatthews20.livejournal.com]

Kingdom of Heaven! All the way...hopefully...maybe...*crosses fingers*

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Remember how I told you Robin Williams was supposed to sing something?

This link has an extra l in html.

Now to finish reading.

[edda.livejournal.com]

And now, as if this entry weren't long enough, let's speculate without any grounds whatsoever: what do you think will end up nominated next February?

I believe, quite totally and sincerely, that by then you will have an invitation. Your book's coming out, right? I'm not kidding here, Cleo. You will be in that audience.

(And everyone at TWOP? Will be so, so jealous.)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Eh, one half of TWOP did the Yahoo blow-by-blow, and the other half works on the aforementioned Go Fug Yourself. I don't think there'll be tears in their beer tonight. And besides--lots of the actual movies' actors couldn't get tickets to the show, because the new theater is so small. Why the hell would they invite me? ; )

[kismeteve.livejournal.com]

Well, unless Cinderella Man and The Interpreter totally blow, I'll be surprised if they don't get at least a nomination.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Well, The Libertine should be released later on this year, so if Johnny Depp gets nominated for anything this year, that'll probably be it. (Although if he got nominated for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I'd have newfound respect in the Academy.)

[sideofzen.livejournal.com]

God, give the man an Oscar already!

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

what do you think will end up nominated next February?

Best Picture nominees: Boogeyman, Hide and Seek, Cursed, Son of the Mask, Are We There Yet?

[linden-jay.livejournal.com]

Oh my dear GOD! *shudders off my chair*

I work at a movie theatre- do you know how many times I've had to see those, and I use the word loosely, "films"?

*goes to scrub brain out with brillo pad*

And they're all. still. playing.

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

Constantine!!!

Haha. I kill myself.

[wokeupinnacar.livejournal.com]

*manages to put POTO soundtrack on pause for this* The Jacket. *press play*

[aurora-borialis.livejournal.com]

I love Josh Groban, but I found that in "Believe" it was almost too low for his amazing tenor voice. I felt we was straining for those low notes. Tenor, people, Josh Groban is an AMAZING TENOR, not Bass. But that's just me.

I feel bad for Johnny. Twice in a row nominated for Best Actor, and twice still only the nominee. At least Finding Neverland got one. The Aviator swept. I have to go see it now.

Poor Phantom. Zip. Nada. Zero. Zilch.

[delle.livejournal.com]

both Daughter and Husband made the *exact* same comment. He does have an amazing voice, but not on that particular song.

[duncanatrix.livejournal.com]

Well, I betcha that Goblet of Fire will get some sort of artsy or score nomination.

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

Best Animated Feature: Corpse Bride, Cars, Chicken Little, and Howl's Moving Castle

Best Picture: Contenders may include Elizabethtown, Memoirs of a Geisha, Jarhead, Rent, A Scanner Darkly, Syriana, The New World, and Bee Season

Other nominations may flow from those or others: Jake Gyllenhaal for Jarhead, Viggo Mortensen for A History of Violence, Cameron Crowe for Elizabethtown, Rosario Dawson for Rent, etc. I'm looking at year-end releases here, not necessarily the cool things we're all waiting for and would like to see win (Sin City, for instance, which will be nominated for squat, though Mickey Rourke for Best Supporting Actor might be a possibility).

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I don't know if Robert Rodriguez having to leave the Directors Guild over the Frank Miller credit will affect Sin City's eligibility, but I'd like to think they'd at least nominate it for cinematography or art direction or something, if it does turn out to be good. But then, they didn't really care about Sky Captain, so...

[katcat.livejournal.com]

Well of course Scorsese (I CAN NEVER SPELL HIS NAME AND I ADORE HIM *sobs) will get nominated again. And yes, he the Academy will give it to someone else and he will pull out a machine gun and open fire.

[modpixie.livejournal.com]

the brothers grimm. it will get nominated for eleventy-seven oscars and not win one, because terry gilliam is a hater.

also, proof. as much as i hate to say that.

[jedilora.livejournal.com]

Sin City, Kingdom of Heaven(which is totally going to be like Elizabeth, with many noms and next to no wins), and Corpse Bride. Because they've all got nifty trailers that don't seem to be giving away much.

And maybe Cars. Is that coming out this year or next year? Can't be bothered to look it up, so c'est la vie.

[ambiguousreason.livejournal.com]

God! I want Girl Scout cookies. That's really not fair. (Leave it to me to make a comment on the only bit of your entry that wasn't about the Oscars.)

Ohh, now I see what you mean about Scarlett Johanssen's hair. Jesus.

I guess my problem is that I don't watch the kinds of movies that get nominated (well, except Lord of the Rings. And Spider-Man 2, but I don't care about special effects, let's be honest) so I really don't care about the Oscars. (Please don't hurt me, anyone.) No, I like the shitty, all-the-same fluffy "romance" movies... or the shitty, all-the-same crude "comedy" movies.

[bibsy.livejournal.com]

Barbra Streisand should be shot and put out of my misery.

Agreed. And OMG you are PSYCHIC! :-o

[irishmastermind.livejournal.com]

Isn't the first Narnia flick slated to come out around Christmas? Or is that next year?

[sideofzen.livejournal.com]

I was just going to add a comment about that movie.

It's due out on Christmas Day.

[andromeda-77.livejournal.com]

Samoas! Yum.

[barrelgoddess.livejournal.com]

What will be nominated? No idea.

What would I LIKE to see nominated(and win)? Corpse Bride for animated feature. Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka. Tim Burton for director of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Danny Elfman for the score. Come oooooooooooon, give him an Oscar already. *whines*

[darkviola.livejournal.com]

Amen.

[boarderbunny.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see you too were propositioned by those little Girl Scout vixens. Samoas: bless.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

To be honest, my real weakness is Tagalongs. You know, the ones with the chocolate and the peanut butter. Although... also Trefoils and Thin Mints.

[ter369.livejournal.com]

But Groban can stay.

If he's gonna be that off-pitch (yes, I went over to my piano to check), he can leave any time. PBS already refers to him as "a franchise".

Singing a few ballads in Italian, into a microphone, does not make you a classical singer. Feh.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, I mean if I have to choose between Aiken and Groban. Not that I could pick either out of an aural lineup, but... yeah, let's just blast them both into space.

[ter369.livejournal.com]

Thomas Haden Church can't get over the fact that he went from Wings to this. Check.

With a pit stop to being Incredibly Not Funny in George of the Jungle. I know why I haven't seen Sideways.

Uff. We're in for more male mid-life crisis road trip movies, since Alsonso Cuaron is set to direct The Memory of Running.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Isn't that the book Stephen King mentioned in his column and then it got picked up to get published?

*checks IMDb*

Yep!

[sweetle.livejournal.com]

Out in the audience, Johnny Depp starts drinking from a pocket flask. Just because we didn't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen.

I think he started before the show. It's the only thing that can explain that outfit.

[etherealshores.livejournal.com]

I think he started as well...that outfit was just...ugh.

[etherealshores.livejournal.com]

Cleo, just wanted to say thanks so much for the Oscar recaps.

Your recaps rock so hardcore, and you rock as well. XD

...although I'd take Clay over Josh any day. ;)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks. : )

[http://users.livejournal.com/bellereve_/]

Yum. Samoas.

[dietcokebreak.livejournal.com]

Are they still called "Samoas"? I mean I still call them that. I still call the peanut butter ones Tagalongs.
They changed all the names to something non-ethnic/non-colonialistic and therefore boring. Silly PC Girl Scouts.

Cleo, I love you. You are my hero.