Oscar entry #8

[cleolinda]

"Welcome the beautiful young star of The Phantom of the Opera." Wow, Emmy Rossum's even got the announcer up her ass. Amazing. She's here to present the song, which is being sung by Beyonce, and not Minnie Driver, for reasons yet unexplained. Also, she is wearing red instead of her usual white. I told the forumites she couldn't wear white after that incident with the stockings.

LORD HAVE MERCY WHAT IS BEYONCE WEARING. It's like she took the diamond necklace from Moulin Rouge, had three copies made, put them all on, and stole one of Nicole Kidman's giant black ruffly Chanels. Damn. Also, her eyelids are plastered with sparkly black lacquer OMG ACTUAL PHANTOM! I cackled out loud just now, did you hear me? Some guy kitted out as the Phantom led her down the stairs. WWWWWWWTFFFFFFFFF. And then she goes and hugs Andrew Lloyd Webber at the piano--OMG PRINCE! IN THE AUDIENCE PRINCE! I LOVE YOU, PRINCE!

Rock calls for props to Bill Conti and the Sunday Night Live orchestra, if you will. And Rock adds that none of the winners has... tested positive for steroids. Oh, the timely humor. "And here's comedy superstar Jeremy Irons!" What makes the joke is when Irons, out in the audience, says something along the lines of "Finally, some recognition." And then there's a huge random BANG! that sounds like a gunshot and Irons quips, "I hope they missed." Everyone's on the floor. Could not have planned it better, I'm telling you. Best Live Short--"Wasp." A microphone on a stand is brought out to the winner in the audience and she's like, "Wow, I'm not really used to this." Seriously? I DON'T THINK ANYONE ELSE HERE IS, EITHER.

Here's Laura Linney also out in the audience. It's so weird, y'all. I mean, I guess it does save walking and tripping and getting-lost time, but... the presenters look so lost and out of place! Anyway. Best Animated Short: "Ryan."

Kate Winslet! Kate! I love you Kate! I love your dress! Whee! She's here to present cinematography. The Aviator wins. I was actually smart enough to pick this one from the pool, kthnx. Come on, blue golf courses, y'all. Respect. Awww, he dedicates it to his mom, who's been in the hospital for the last forty-five days. Kate Winslet consoles him on the way out. Wow, that sounded dirty somehow.

Comments

[ladyaurora1ca.livejournal.com]

Best Dressed goes to.... Kate Winslet and Cate Blanchette!

They looked fab!

[strlite913.livejournal.com]

Yes, Kate looked so good! I love when they actually pull everything together, like the dress, hair, makeup and accessories.

[notquiteestella.livejournal.com]

Moooommmy...the singing lady scares me!!!!

[exiledprincess.livejournal.com]

wow. i love your icon.

*goes to find a paper towel*

[dtwirler.livejournal.com]

I still firmly believe they should have let MInnie Driver sing, and not over-rated Beyonce. Pffft!

[narsilion.livejournal.com]

Minnie Driver did not do her own singing in the movie though.

[distant-cord.livejournal.com]

That was the best acceptance speach of the night.

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

Kate's so pretty!

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

Agreed. I want that dress. There's probably no way I could ever afford that dress (or have anywhere to wear it) but still. LOL

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

The best part of the Live Short bit was the guy who had fallen asleep. Hilarious.

Also, Indian guys! w00t! Represent.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Did you see the guy who was nominated for a short film was ASLEEP and his wife/girlfriend had to shake him awake? My favorite moment so far, except for maybe the BANG and the totally random Star Trek music accompanying Morgan Freeman.

[katiekate11.livejournal.com]

*holds up hands like a scale*

Skittles... eyelids of darkness. I can't decide which is worse.

[lezopez.livejournal.com]

I covet Kate Winslet's dress with a passion I've never felt before. She looks beeeeeyoooooooooooooootiful.

DAMNIT I MISSED THE BANG.

[http://users.livejournal.com/lorien__/]

please tell me that was the last song by bitchonce

[alisaselene.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately I think we are in for more punishment..*shakes head*

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

i didnt watch the Beyoncee performance...too painful...

so i missed the Phantom guy...which..pity

[aurora-borialis.livejournal.com]

this is going so fast..... *runs back to TV*

P.S. YAY CATE!!!

[pride4u2.livejournal.com]

And one of the nominees for the short films fell asleep and the announcement woke him up...classic. And the bang? Oh man, that was hilarious.

[phoenixforhire.livejournal.com]

Those stupid fuckers. As far as I'm concerned, your trainwreck is Beyonce.

They ruined that song for me. Congratulations, you rucking fetards.

[mysticowl.livejournal.com]

Ha! Rock said "four presenters." I bet the latin duo didn't catch it ^^

[anniesong.livejournal.com]

Did Rock call Beyonce Janet Jackson mistakenly or was that a joke?

[anjenue.livejournal.com]

Kate Winslet is so fucking hot.

Beyonce didn't do as horrible a job of this song as she did of the last one. Then again, I don't think anything could be worse than the last one.

[anjenue.livejournal.com]

Also, Jeremy Irons is ridiculously sexy. *drools*

[distant-cord.livejournal.com]

Who are those two big guys with briefcases? Why are they there? What's going on? And what were the Oscar people smoking when they asked Chris Rock to host?

[meredithsg.livejournal.com]

I laughed so hard over the Phantom bit I just started to choke.

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

Those guys make Chris Rock look so tiny...and isn't Salma usually..tanner?

betcha Aviator wins again...oh oh....Ray...hm...it still may be Aviator...

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

i was wrong...

theyre presenting for two things? wtf? is that normal?

[meyrin-hawke.livejournal.com]

Wow, those bodyguards are huuuuuge. And for some reason Penelope Cruz saying "soundscapes" makes me howl with laughter. Ah, Ray. Why is Jamie Foxx looking around? Does he wanna go up there?

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

he did look a bit confused/lost didn't he?

[ladyaurora1ca.livejournal.com]

Ray wins! About time!

[wtfbrain.livejournal.com]

I think Beyonce was wearing parts of the actual chandelier from the movie. And my theory is that the Phantom-guy was there to help her walk down the stairs 'cuz the combined weight of the dress, the necklace and the eye makeup was too much for her to handle and be able to walk with.

[alisaselene.livejournal.com]

Was I the only one who thought her 'dramatic' gestures as she walked were hilarious?!..reminded me a bit of Carlotta. I thought she was going to knock herself over!

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

jaysus...how long is Salma going to be on stage? thats three now...

[elbiesee.livejournal.com]

Finally! Aviator didn't win.

Yay! Ray won one! (The only nominated movie I've seen - well, that and Spiderman 2, but that barely counts.)