Oscar entry #7

[cleolinda]

Man, everyone's behaving, and the new staging tricks are weird but not disastrous. Where is my trainwreck?!

Okay, this commercial with the woman disrobing for her car to the tune of "Dream On" is plenty trainwrecky. Ew.

Here's... Adam Sandler and Catherine Zeta-Jones? And Catherine is not coming out. And Chris Rock says he can read her lines instead. Oh God. This is a skit, isn't it? I weep. And Rock gets to utter the immortal line, "As a little girl growing up in Wales..." And the bit ends with the threat of a spanking. Yes. We don't have time to let the makeup people actually walk to the stage, but we have time for this shit. Sigh. Best Adapted Screenplay, here goes: Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor for Sideways. They accept briskly, because Cates is backstage making stabbing motions. Everyone cheers.

JAKE! JAKE! I LOVE YOU JAKE! And Ziyi Zhang, as they call her tonight (Zhang Ziyi? Ziyi Zhang?). She looks really cute, that's all I know. Aaaand here are the visual effects folks on stage. Spider-Man 2 wins, and a scream goes up in the audience (whoa, people, simmer down). The guy accepting is thankful there was "no fourth episode of Lord of the Rings." Ha! Reminds me of the year whoever it was won best song and expressed gratitude that "The English Patient didn't have a song."

Here's Academy president Frank Pierson here "in this tabernacle of talent." No one cares. He dedicates the show to the Armed Forces. Swift and safe return, etc. Huh! He actually wrote Dog Day Afternoon, which starred Al Pacino, who is here to present the honorary Oscar to that film's director, Sidney Lumet. Way to actually involve the president for once, Academy! I salute you. Here's Pacino talking about how Lumet told him exactly what to do and he had to film a bank robbery and Lumet "made that bank robbery happen." I am so waiting for Pacino to say something like, "And it was great, except for the fifteen years we did in the pen afterwards." He concludes his speech with, "If you dig it, it's yours," and apparently he digs Sidney Lumet, director of 12 Angry Men, Fail-Safe, Serpico, Network, Murder on the Orient Express, The Verdict, and... The Wiz. Which one of these is not like the others? Wait, and now he's filming some movie with--is that Vin Diesel? No, for real? Damn. Standing ovation for Lumet, and this really is a satisfying honorary award, I have to say. Awww, he says he wants to thank so many people that he can't--Spielberg and Scorsese and Buster Keaton and a ton of other people he didn't even work with per se, "and those aren't the ones I really stole from." It's a really nice speech.

Oh, commercial, I love you so. Next up: Best Cinematography. A hundred voices shrieking out in the ether alert me to the fact that a clip from "Point of No Return" is onscreen. Fametracker POTO forum represent!

Comments

[caitiedid.livejournal.com]

I read somewhere that she prefers to go by Ziyi Zhang now.

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

Which one is her family name? Zhang? Huh.

[vladimirsever.livejournal.com]

Poor Ziyi, she like memorised the English by ear.

But Lumet was good!

[chorusgirl.livejournal.com]

I hated that Chris Rock/Adam Sandler thing. It seemed so... tacky.

[gershwhen.livejournal.com]

Actually the majority of this show is TACKY. It's like a bad Saturday Night Live Skit.

[notquiteestella.livejournal.com]

Why oh why are they going so fast! My poor fingers!
A sympathize with you, cleolinda.
Ooo! They're back!

[mysticowl.livejournal.com]

I've read that Ziyi Zhang doesn't speak english, though. Either she learned in two/three years or learned her lines phonetically by heart. They called her... Zizi something.

[lezopez.livejournal.com]

JAKE!!!! JAAAAAKE!! I LOVE YO- where the fuck is your hair Jake? The fuck?


I know its for a movie but... the fuck? I didn't realize ones head could look so... squishy.

OH EMMYS ON.

[morgaard.livejournal.com]

Yay! Go Phan ....nooo!!!! Beyonce... *sporksporksporkspork*

[bookwoman84.livejournal.com]

It's like Goth!Beyonce. Which is scary. Even scarier than her little thing she was doing with the Phantom just now.

[meyrin-hawke.livejournal.com]

OMG VIN DIESEL. Whoa...

And OH NOES, here comes Beyonce and Andrew Lloyd Weber, and my soul is already crying.

[ladyaurora1ca.livejournal.com]

Beyonce again....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I feel for Minnie Driver... I feel for us too.

How is Beyonce better for singing this? She sucked!

[http://users.livejournal.com/lorien__/]

wiiii scary ass monkey box is at the oscars too *oh snap*

L.

[elbiesee.livejournal.com]

Heeeee!

[butindreams.livejournal.com]

omg, is she wearing the entire chandelier???

having ALW on the piano is pretty cool, though...

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha.

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

oh god Beyoncee again *spasms* MUTE BUTTON! MY GOOD FRIEND!

[tsuki-no-yami.livejournal.com]

One hopes that the jewelry would weigh her down and make her fall off stage.

[http://users.livejournal.com/lorien__/]

if only

[elbiesee.livejournal.com]

Turn on mute, and look at the necklace. (I'd call it bling, but I'd get sporked.)

[meyrin-hawke.livejournal.com]

THERE IS A PHANTOM WITH HER. PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS JUST A DALI PAINTING OR SOMETHING.

[mysticowl.livejournal.com]

I bet Emmy Rossum is seething that she's not the one singing it.

[canadabear.livejournal.com]

I don't see why Emmy would have any reason to be upset. Minnie, on the other hand, is apparently is beyond furious.

[alisaselene.livejournal.com]

All I can say is I can't wait to read what Cleo writes about Learn to be Lonely..ROFLOL

[rebel-waltz.livejournal.com]

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

"Okay, this commercial with the woman disrobing for her car to the tune of "Dream On" is plenty trainwrecky."

What...the hell?? No, never mind. Don't want to know.

And yeah, I can never figure out whether it's Zhang Ziyi or Ziyi Zhang. I've seen it both ways in newspapers... ??

[ladyaurora1ca.livejournal.com]

Zhang is her family name. Ziyi is her personal name.

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

Hey. HEEEEEEEEEEEEY. You're not the Phantom. Get off the fucking stage, notGerald. I mean, we couldn't even throw notCrawford a bone so small as to help Beyonce down the stairs? Come on. He wasn't THAT bad.

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

Gerard. Whoops.

[kittenkatt.livejournal.com]

OK... I cannot wait till your next post cause Sir Andrew is playing, and BEYONCE IS WEARING THE CHANDELIER!!! OMFG she's going to let go of pseudo-Phantom and crash into the middle of the stage! I nominate Clint Eastwood for Old!Raoul....

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

Dude, how weird does Vin Diesel look with hair (http://vdg.bitdark.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=68&pos=1)?

[cinnamontwist.livejournal.com]

0.o That is weird. I would not have picked that picture for Vin Diesel.

OMG I'm dying here. I wish I could see this show NOW. I have to wait another 5 hours...when I have class.

[tigereyed24.livejournal.com]

BEYONCE. *stabs*

The girl really knows how to layer on the eye makeup though. (And that's not a good thing)



sorry, jumping ahead. lol

[missdiane.livejournal.com]

Is it just me or was anyone else getting a "My boobies are pasteded on yay!" vibe about Emmy's dress?

*groans at Beyonce's bling and warbling*

[tenebris.livejournal.com]

YES.

[rhodynne.livejournal.com]

They use the woman who actually HAS the voice power to sing the damn song to introduce it and then get HER!
*stabination!*

>:-{

[canadabear.livejournal.com]

I'd take Beyonce over Emmy ANY day. And I can't stand Beyonce.