Oscar entry #2

[cleolinda]

 

ORLANDOOOOOO! I LOVE YOU! Hee. He is so cute. I mean that literally. Not hot, cute. He says that Paul Newman was his main inspiration. And that Johnny Depp has so much integrity. And then he basically gets shoved off the platform for Kirsten Dunst (heh). I don't like her short, lank hair--you know what they call her on the FT Forums, right? "Dr. Sunken Tits"? Which is not only sort of accurate, but a perfect anagram of her name.

 

OOOOOO TEH CATE. She’s wearing… yellow, hmmm. Nice brooch. I question the yellow, but… ooo, nice draping.

 

Don Cheadle, not embarrassing himself, which is about all you can ask of a guy and his suit. CLIVE! CLIIIIIIIIIVE! FATHER MY CHIIIIIIIIILDREN! The carpet lady sort of talks at him for a few minutes and then he smiles and slouches off…holy shit, what is Scarlet Johansson wearing? My Lord have mercy, her hair—it’s like a poodle with diamond eyes exploded on her head. The black dress is pretty classy, though. Eh. Good show in general, Scarlett.

Ewww, what is this commercial with these women talking about the amazing actresses? Ewww. The joke seems to be that it's actually a tape of a high school reunion full of women who all have famous actresses' names, but invoking "Gwyneth" was a mistake, because I've seen her dress tonight, and.... ew.

Lord have mercy--Penelope Cruz looks good enough in yellow, but the way she says "Ohscarrrrrrrr de la Rrrrrrrrenta!" is--just--wow. Mike Myers: ew. Shaggy, greasy hair and bad skin. Oh, and there's a clip of him presenting back in the day with the late Bart the Bear. I loved that bear, man.

Oh shit, it's about to start. The Chris Rock monologue is going to be hell on my hands.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Just a plagerism heads up...check the MuggleNet caption contests for last week and the week before...

The guts those people have, some of it looks directly copied and pasted...

<3

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Dammit, AGAIN?

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

the music from LotR was playing in the background of that montage and...Eminem...interesting

[arayuldaiel.livejournal.com]

I kind of like that yellow dress on Cate. It makes me want to go buy something yellow.

[beadslut.livejournal.com]

Penelope Cruz looks good enough in yellow

So far, best dress. Then, Hilary Swank. Kate Blanchett looks good, too.

[darkviola.livejournal.com]

Mega WORD to your icon.

[ccaretta.livejournal.com]

Stop with the montage of exposition!! I want Chris Rock to piss people off!!

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

Okay, normally I try not to snark too much about people's fashion choices (generally because I save it all for the Oscars). So, since it's in good form tonight--

What in the universe was Gwyneth thinking?? Ew. I'm not sure if that color would look good on *anybody*, but still. Ew.

[anjenue.livejournal.com]

Orlando's hair is sooooo weird, but his PANTS. omg. I want in them. I'd never fit, but I WANT IN THEM.

Cate looks fanTAStic. :D

[wtfbrain.livejournal.com]

Orlando's hair looked to me like he hadn't washed it in like four days. Ick.

[darkviola.livejournal.com]

What in the name of hell is Charlize wearing? (http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/050228/482/kdk20702280119&e=10&ncid=707)

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

Fringed foof, it looks like. Too bad it isn't fuschia, too, or I could really get some alliteration going. ;-)

[darkviola.livejournal.com]

Also, you know what's totally great about Charlize being a big star now: All the Stuart Townsend (http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0870204/) shots. OMG STUART I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOU!

[cinnamontwist.livejournal.com]

Good God...it looks like she pulled out the inside of a quiltcover or something....

[marumae.livejournal.com]

>CLIVE! CLIIIIIIIIIVE! FATHER MY CHIIIIIIIIILDREN! <

*LMAO* I love you ♥

[katcat.livejournal.com]

Dude, Scarlett's hair is BEGGING for a break.

And Gweneth, when your boobs are smooshed in your dress. BAD.

And what the HELL is up with the plethora of haltery dresses (Gweneth, Renee, Emily)? Julie Deply looks nice though.

[exiledprincess.livejournal.com]

especially as she's barely got any. unless... maybe she has some from nursing apple? i dunno... i'm not watching

[lezopez.livejournal.com]

oh ORLI. He shouldn't have to wear clothes. Just stroll down the carpet on in his underwear.

I LOATHE Hilary's dress... but Kate and Cate are so so SO SO SO pretty. Teh Prettiness.

[katcat.livejournal.com]

Underwear? You want him to wear underwear? You strange person. Naked is the way to go!

[darkviola.livejournal.com]

Word.

[lezopez.livejournal.com]

I would PREFER that he be totally nekkid, but I'm afraid of the fines the FCC would impose for have someone with that big a..... personality exposed on the air.

[spaz-sees-all.livejournal.com]

My, what did renee do to her hair?

[distant-cord.livejournal.com]

Ewww, what is this commercial with these women talking about the amazing actresses?

That commercial made me throw up a little.

[riney.livejournal.com]

i was in a room full of men. i felt dirty when that commercial came on. luckily i was able to inform them that no, women do not actually talk like that. at least i hope not.

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

Not to be corny or anything, but I think Cate looks like spring in her dress.

*tackles Renee Zellweger and DYES HER HAIR BLOND AGAIN*

[scornedsaint.livejournal.com]

Kirsten Dunst is probably working the short look since she's loading up on wigs for "Marie Antoinette".

Four hours later, it's kinda fun to look back at the carefree red carpter before The Turtle (=Clint Eastwood) won everything

[britishness.livejournal.com]

Wow...I'm late like woa as far as commenting on your journal! =D I friended you a while back...after reading the most awesome Phantom of the Opera parody. Ever. My friend and I refer to your Phantom jokes all the time...see, she actuall can't stand my Phantom Obsession, but after reading your Phantom in 15 she agreed to coming with me...so, she enjoyed the movie that much more just because every ten seconds she'd lean over and whisper something to me...
Rebecca: *see's Ceaser* *whispers* "Kathryn...neigh baby!"
SO, the other people we were with, and the entire movie theatre was not as amused...but thats just fine! So, yes, your Phantom humor...you are a genius!!

Oh, and I did decide to comment on your Oscar posts, just because they are also SO amusing. Paltrow's dress reminded me of a flat bedsheet tied at her hips, with that whole billowing in thing...right...okay, so, I'm done now! (my comments tend to be worthless and lengthy!)

Cheers!