Golden Globes #1

You guys, I don't even know. I am so incredibly, irrationally depressed. Like "spent two hours struggling not to cry" depressed. But the Fug Girls are on Twitter talking about how Julianne Moore is wearing half a cape and something unspeakable happened to Scarlett Johansson's hair. How am I supposed to let this go? On the other hand: Justin Bieber. I don't know that I can handle this.

(I just turned on the TV and an Abilify commercial came on. "If you're taking an antidepressant but are still depressed...")

(More commercials. I'm not saying The Cape is stupid. I'm saying it looks stupid. Deeply stupid.)

(Jesus, my TV reception is crappy for no good reason.)

O hai, it's the pre-show. ( Read more... )

Golden Globes #2

The NBC people (wtf, I don't care. Natalie and Alexa and who is that, Carson Daly? IDGAF) remind us that This Is The Show Where They Get To Drink. YEAH IT IS. Dammit, I need a Woodchuck.

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Golden Globes #3

Please welcome! People from Crazy Stupid Love! Kevin Spacey and... what... is Julianne Moore wearing. It's... like... red, with... this one ballooning sleeve that... is... eating her.

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Golden Globes #4

BA DUH DUH BA DUH DUH BAAAAAA. Please welcome! Michelle Pfeiffer in dark blue! Maybe purple? I can't tell! She sounds completely dead inside as she introduces the Alice in Wonderland clip. It's okay, bb, you're done. You can go hit the bar now. WHOA! Helena Bonham Carter's hair is UNPRECEDENTEDLY LARGE. It goes without saying that it is also in charge.

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Golden Globes #5

Why hello there, Spider-Man. Huh, that's right, Andrew Garfield is British. He and his accent stumble over the middle of their telepromptation and never recover. Laughing: "Very supportive room!" Introducing! The Social Network! A movie I actually saw! AMAZING.

omg someone please take me to see some movies

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Golden Globes #6

Gervais lauds the versality of a man who has played "a boxer, and Rambo." Please welcome! Sylvester Stallone! He is here to present a clip from The Fighter! Because of course.

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Golden Globes #7

Gervais: "Our next presenters are young, and thin, with the hair, and lovely teeth. Which is just as well, because they're presenting Best Foreign Film, which no one in America cares about!" Please welcome! Robert Pattinson and Olivia Wilde's gigantic black tulle ballgown! Seriously, I had to get on Twitter and ask who it was wearing.

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Golden Globes #8

Please welcome! Matt Damon! Pretending he doesn't know who Robert De Niro is! This is going to be a very, very long Cecil B. DeMille award. I mean, even more so than usual. It involves impressions, for God's sake. Although I do enjoy how De Niro "disappears" in Taxi Driver "as a blonde, thirteen-year-old hooker. He just disappears!"

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Golden Globes #9

Please welcome! Joseph Gordon-Levitt! Don't mind if I do! He is here to introduce the Inception clip! This is pleasing to me. In large part because I actually managed to see it.

Also please welcome! The Dude! ( Read more... )