(no subject)

[cleolinda]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FINISH! FINISH, DAMN YOU! WHY IS IT THAT YOU ARE NOT FINISHED? I KEEP WRITING AND WRITING AND STILL YOU ARE NOT FINISHED! YOU ARE TWENTY-NINE PAGES AND YOU ARE NOT DONE! I HATE YOU! I AM SICK OF YOU! FUCK YOU! FINIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH!

Comments

[nekoama.livejournal.com]

*pets the poor Cleo and gives her a cookie*

[nekoama.livejournal.com]

Cookie is filled with many hallucinogens relaxents.. I think you need them.

[koritsimou.livejournal.com]

*puts a wallet under your tongue*

Let it out, babe. You'll feel better.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

A wallet?

[soleta-nf.livejournal.com]

**hugs Cleo** **pokes Cleo's writing gnomes with a stick**

[katla-asriel.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. If it's worth anything, people will love the parody anyway, and it'll be worth it. I hope.

But until then, just...I don't know. Keep trying. It'll pull itself together, hopefully.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

If you send me your address, I'll mail you some Pocky.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I've never had pocky. What's it like?

[bast-setesh.livejournal.com]

Oh, you mean your automatic, self-typing keys aren't working either?! Ack, what is wrong with technology today?!?!?! *sulks*

[majormeg7.livejournal.com]

No kidding. I have a paper that needs writing dammit!

Love the icon by the by.

[ter369.livejournal.com]

Perk up.

Fantasy novels run 400 manuscript pages, without all the white space of script format.

::ducks::

Cleo, Titanic's a frickin' long movie. I saw it once on a flight from Munich to Washington DC, and that pretty much took over our takeoff to landing timespan. Kinda. There was that one obnoxious business who needed our help as he obsessively compulsively moved his laptop around the storage of the almost empty Business Class. He was a big timesuck. Until I told him that if the pilot ordered us into crash positions he should remember to follow Kate Winslet. 'Cause she lives.

So.

You know what each of my published writer friends tell me? "The hardest part is meeting the deadlines."

You are not alone. But you know that, which is why you posted your cyber-scream.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Dude, for real. I would actually give anything to be working on Black Ribbon right now--just plain narrative prose, anything. This is going to sound like a conceited analogy unless you take it the right way, but these movie parodies work a little like poetry--in that every line has to earn its place. There can't be extraneous filler or pleasant tangents. Particularly since it's specifically "in fifteen minutes"--"brevity" is the watchword. And usually when I'm in a tight spot, I can just start freewriting or rambling and eventually I get what I want and I cut the rest. I can't do that here. RAHHH.

[jedilora.livejournal.com]

I hate to say it, but the movie wouldn't freaking end either. Perhaps it will be an evergoing cycle of CRAP.

::went to see that movie for the first time with a friend who's a nautical historian.::

Run Cleo! Run while you can!

[pygmymetal.livejournal.com]

Hee hee, I wanted the ship to frickin sink!

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Is it okay for us to laugh at your pain? I'm sorry. It reminds me of the "Why don't you go to your home? Are you too good for your home?!" rant in Happy Gilmore.

Also, twenty-nine pages? Damn, I thought these were Movies in Fifteen Minutes. Can't you cut out all the, I don't know, people, and write the whole movie from the perspective of the ship?

TITANIC: All good.

TITANIC: Yeah, all good.

TITANIC: Damn, this is a lot of people.

DOLPHINS: Eek, click click!

TITANIC: Fucking dolphins.

TITANIC: OMGWTF ICEBERG!!

The end.

(Good luck, yo. Feel better.)

[bast-setesh.livejournal.com]

You forgot:

ICEBERG: I cut you, bitch!

TITANIC: Oh, sh--*garblegarble*

[travelsizedoug.livejournal.com]

*comforts*

But now that i've done that, I need to laugh, because you are so hilarious at expressing your anger. Your "current music" made me burst into giggles, and teh entry itself was very humorous.

:is slowly becoming a very rabid cleo fangirl:

[genesisdesire.livejournal.com]

Send ME your addy and I'll send you...um...a posty? Maybe some relaxing bubble bath? Possibly a cute animal drawing? Your choice.

[theatre-angel.livejournal.com]

*many hugs*

You're an amazing writer. Not just for comedy, but just an amazing writer in general. You'll finish it.

*hugs*

[cinnamontwist.livejournal.com]

I probably can't do much to calm you, but maybe distract you for half a sec with a random picture of Haldir and Gil-Galad being Jedi?

[wokeupinnacar.livejournal.com]

I cacklde. Loudly. Insanely. My dogs ran away.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nymphette_/]

Oh Cleo!

I almost think you should leave some of your unfinished rants in:

CLEO: CHRIST ON A PONY! WHY DID THIS MOVIE HAVE BE SO FUCKING LOOOOOOOONG!

[elbiesee.livejournal.com]

or:

TITANIC: *slowly sinks*

PEOPLE ON BOARD: *make about a billion life-or-death decisions*

AUDIENCE: *has to pee*

CLEO: I'm getting paid to write this... right?

(...Nah. Yours is better.)

[girlfrom10thave.livejournal.com]

*pets Cleo and gives her a big chocolate chip cookie*
*threatens the post office with death and destruction if they don't get the package to Cleo quickly because she need a pick-her-up*

[newbia.livejournal.com]

Blegh, writers block sucks. -_- Can't really help you there.

On a random note, will there be Titanic The Musical referances?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

There's a musical?

[ourfall.livejournal.com]

:( Poor boo. You'll get there. *pats reassuringly*

[darkviola.livejournal.com]

Who made that icon? Because I will *die* without it.

[ulicqel-droma.livejournal.com]

I have been that way SOOOO many times.

*gives Cleo another hug and a cookie*

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

I've been reduced to screaming at my characters to hurry up and fuck already! Just doooo iiiiit!

Gah, worthless bits of paper. How they mock us both ;.;

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

I was doing disaster relief for the Red Cross when that movie came out. I managed to avoid "My Heart Will Go On" until El Nino hit and we were all sent to Palo Alto (near San Francisco) to help flooded people. (Our hotel flooded the first night and everyone who was staying on the first floor had everything in their suitcases ruined, but that's another story.)

Anyway, each three of us were issued one car. The cars had no CD players. They did have a radio. That radio played nothing BUT "My Heart Will Go On," except when it played the remix with movie dialogue. After a while I began inserting other bits of dialogue from the movie: the loogie-hacking bits. After threatening to throw me off the Bay Bridge didn't work, we all came to an agreement: I stopped making loogie noises, and they changed stations any time any version of "My Heart Will Go On" came on. And then we were all happy until a man who had been flooded came into the office, shook all of our hands, then demanded that we put him up in a hotel instead of a shelter because, he said, he had chronic flatulence and uncontrollable diarrhea. But that's another story.

[vladimirsever.livejournal.com]

All right, this is seriously awesome! All over again.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Whoa, one of the monkey commercials just mentioned the Titanic.

It's like the world is mocking you.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

*shakes fist at world*

[angelryka.livejournal.com]

Cheer up (http://www.gerard-butler.net/4images/details.php?image_id=4824). There's always PORN (http://img200.exs.cx/img200/1050/ponr39qg.jpg) pants.

But seriously, in the words of Dory: "Just keep swimming!"

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Dude... do you hang out on the Fametracker POTO thread? Because if you don't, you should.

Has someone already been over this?

[noton.livejournal.com]

I was thinking about the word "jackhole" today, because I have started callin the idiots at work that, and I was wondering how it came into being.
Slowly it dawned on me that it was a combination of "jackass" and "asshole".
Which means...
(jack + ass) + (ass + hole)
(jack + ass) + (ass + hole)
jack + hole = jackhole

See, Cleo! You can too math.

[fiveforsilver]

I offer Beef Wellington, aeire's assistant with QoW.

I also offer the Homework Elves that my college friend Linda invented. They're about the same size as the aforementioned pixie and they wave little flags when they want to say anything. They also don't need to be chained down.

[andromeda-77.livejournal.com]

My Heart Will Go On
Ah ha! There's your problem right there. Put in some Baby Got Back or maybe some Rump Shaker. Get that muse up off her ass! ;)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I'm actually listening to Prince with the movie sound off and the subtitles on. When do doves cry? WHEN THEY HAVE TO WATCH TITANIC ON A FIVE-DAY LOOP.