(no subject)

I am not. allowed. to worry. in bed. I'm not. It's against the rules--you worry in bed, you associate bed with anxiety, you have a hard time sleeping. Ever since I instituted a no-worrying rule in bed several years back, I've slept a lot better--sure, I can't sleep sometimes, but it's usually due to caffeine or a vicious late-sleeping/napping/staying-up cycle. For some reason, I think worrying must be really easy to slip into, because the alternative is to force yourself to think only of happy fun daydreamy things, and you usually fall asleep in the middle of that, as if it were actually hard to think of nice things. (If you've got any celebrity fantasies, this is the time to pull them out. I'm just saying.) I usually plan stories that are still in the farming stage--mostly my fantasy project, because it's so far from being finished that it's still fun and not stress-inducing. But for some reason, here I am, up after midnight eating toast because I can't sleep in my stuffy stuffy room, because I keep thinking about the annotated bibliography (because in theory, I can sleep now and work tomorrow or work now and sleep tomorrow, and I'm sure you can figure out which one I chose) and all the recaps and parodies I haven't written, and all the things I owe people. I keep thinking about all the lamps I can't bring myself to light. Fear really is the mindkiller, y'all.