(no subject)

[cleolinda]

I cheat on my normal horoscope with a new site:

Treat yourself to a shopping spree this week, and spend lots of money on pizzas, coke and toffees. Just beware as your jealous uncle might be stalking you and may even attack with a stick of celery because he thinks you are the one who broke into his home and stole his rancid pretzel collection. Challenge him to a duel and slap his face with a pair of rubber gloves for being such a naughty monkey.

p.s. i'll find my rum

Off metaquotes: a beautiful entry written by the most awesome mom ever, on the occasion of her son being called a fag.

Still working on Titanic, fnarrr. So tired, woe.

I'm sort of stealing this idea from deadspeaker, but I think I'm in need of an FAQ myself. If there's anything you'd like to ask or think other people should know, now's your chance. I'm talking about things like "Where did the name Cleolinda come from?" "Who is so-and-so that you mention in your entries all the time?" "Which movies are in the book?" Basically, help me come up with a list of things people ask a lot, and I'll put the answers (or links to them) on my user info page.

Comments

[shimmeryelf.livejournal.com]

"a beautiful entry written by the most awesome mom ever, on the occasion of her son being called a fag."

Wasn't that entry amazing? It was so touching I was almost crying...

[lostrocker.livejournal.com]

Love to know when you discovered your talent of hilarious movie recaps :)

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

In a box by the side of the road. Can't believe someone just left it there...

[museofswearing.livejournal.com]

a beautiful entry written by the most awesome mom ever

This is so poignant, I'm almost in tears myself.

FAQ question, because I promise if you don't get this now, you will: "OMG can I marry you/have your children?"

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Heh. I should totally be like, "Yes. All of you. The line starts at the door."

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

You know, and in that vein, there are bound to be some newbies who are all, "...What's an OMG?"

[mitchy.livejournal.com]

F.A.Q: What's this studying you keep mentioning in aid of?

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Lemme think of some questions. There's already a link to where "Cleolinda" comes from, so no need to ask that one.

"Do you really have purple hair and purple lipstick and purple eye shadow and wear purple all the time?"

"Who is Vladimir and why is he so squishy?"

"What was your first Movie in Fifteen Minutes, and why did you write it?"

"Can I be in the book?"

"What are you studying?"

"Do u no Domenic Monaghan and can u tell him i luv him so much plzthanx!!!1"

"Hey! I'm only x miles away from you! Want to get together some time?"

"Your Movies in Fifteen Minutes are so funny! Can I post them on my website without giving you any credit?"

"What the hell is that crawling on your shirt?!"

[fangirlsays.livejournal.com]

This is undoubtedly an unpopular opinion, but the entry you mention...didn't really do much for me, other than making me sort of shrug. Personally, I don't think handling the situation (which she did well, I'll agree) makes her the best mom ever. It just makes her a mom, period. I guess I didn't see what made her way of handling it all that special.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Actually, it wasn't what she said at the time that impressed me. That was kind of anticlimactic, really. I thought the rest of the story--the background about all these loving, joyful people that had been around her while she was carrying him, and the woman who was so emotional over getting to hold a baby--was what was so beautiful.

[http://users.livejournal.com/lorien__/]

actually i eum don't know what PH34R means (don't shoot me)

eum.. a question bound to come up with new guys on this lj...
"what's your real name?"
"Can i steal your icons?"
"when's the book due?"
"can we have it signed?"
etc etc etc...

L.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

actually i eum don't know what PH34R means (don't shoot me)

PH = F
3 = E
4 = A
R = R

PH34R = FEAR

Ta da!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_stormthesea/]

I loved that entry when I read it. That was just beautiful, very touching.

When is the book coming out? That seems like a very common question to me.

[duncanatrix.livejournal.com]

"Your Movies in Fifteen Minutes are so funny! Can I post them on my website without giving you any credit?"

That one MUST go in...I'd also like to suggest "Where can I buy the book?"

About the article: Saved it. I have some people I want to share it with. It really made me think about little things, like the word "fag," which people just throw around without a thought to the feelings of others.

My RA was in tears after the State of the Union: "He says that we're not going to impose our values on any other culture, but oh! Here's an amendment to keep the gays from getting married!" It was so sad to see her break down like that because she's such a strong person usually, and she's wonderful, regardless of her sexual preferences.

I wish that more people could share this lady's point of view; the part about the woman who cried when she was allowed to hold the baby moved me. People are frightened of AIDS because they don't understand it and I commend this lady for working so closely with her patients without any fear or discrimination. My suitemate's health teacher told her that she didn't hang around gay people because she was afraid she might catch AIDS. (Her HEALTH teacher. Who was teaching them about STD's and other bodily fundamentals. Thinks she can get AIDS from a gay person sneezing on her. Welcome to the Bible Belt, where abstinence-only education is the only way!)

I'm sorry this comment is rather long, I was just so impressed with the article and felt I should share. Thanks, Cleo, for the link.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

My suitemate's health teacher told her that she didn't hang around gay people because she was afraid she might catch AIDS. (Her HEALTH teacher. Who was teaching them about STD's and other bodily fundamentals. Thinks she can get AIDS from a gay person sneezing on her. Welcome to the Bible Belt, where abstinence-only education is the only way!)

I...this kind of thing makes me want to cry. I cannot understand it. What part of "sexually transmitted disease" is unclear? It is transmitted...sexually. Not sneezily. Not coughily. Not even touchily.

I think I need to gather more detailed information and write a blog entry about this. Although I'm certain anyone who'd read it would not be that ignorant, I don't think people know the specifics that would make the knowledge cementable. Thanks.

[vivian-shaw.livejournal.com]

You definitely need a FAQ. I found my life became ever so much easier once I posted one.

My offering is definitely going to have to be "Why is Vladimir squishy?"

[sharrainchains.livejournal.com]

Off metaquotes: a beautiful entry written by the most awesome mom ever, on the occasion of her son being called a fag.

Thank you for linking to that. It was so beautiful that I cried - good tears. I wish I could have said beautiful things to my son like that when he was in my life.

[soleta-nf.livejournal.com]

Not a clear question, but as someone who would love to publish someday, I'd be interested to know more about how you developed your writing skills, how you came up with the idea to do m15m, and how you got a book deal - as well as any advice you have for the rest of us aspiring writers/pop culture lovers.

I read about that woman in metaquotes earlier today and was bawling. An amazing person, mother (mother because unfortunately there are few parents who would be that open and understanding and repeatedly emphasize that he can be whoever he wants and the other kid was just being mean), and writer. She should really think about publishing that piece in a newspaper or the Advocate or something. Look at how many people she has touched already. Wow.

Mind if we use your material?

[unkunvinst.livejournal.com]

Hello Cleolinda. I absolutely LOVE your version of the PotO. So much so, that I would like *very much* to put an excerpt on stage.

See, I'm a member of a Drama Troupe with very little funding. We put together a set of skits each semester, and this time we're poking fun at bits of movies as one of our themes. We mostly perform all our own stuff, but when we can find good stuff on the web, we like to throw some of that in too.

So, basically, would you let us use some part of your material, as long as we credit you in the program? Please e-mail me at pmcrimson@gmail.com ASAP. Thank you! :-)

Re: Mind if we use your material?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Actually, I've already given permission to a high school group to perform (all or part? I don't know) of POTO/15M, and I'm thinking I'm going to make this a standard policy: You can perform it, no charge for the material, as long as I am credited in print with a way for the audience to find me online (example: "Cleolinda Jones, cleolinda.livejournal.com"), which is what you said you'd do anyway, and you send me a video of one of the performances and a copy of the program for my records. Seriously, it can be a crappy video. I don't care. I just want to see it, because people performing something I wrote is frickin' AWESOME.

I'll also be in touch with you via email, but there it is. : )

[chorusgirl.livejournal.com]

Where did the name Cleolinda actually come from?
Which movies are in the book?

Hm.. *ponders*

When did you start writing?
When did you first realize you wanted to pursue it?

[starr234.livejournal.com]

Here's my favorite two questions from the best FAQ ever over at Don Hertzfeldt's website (http://www.bitterfilms.com)

7. "How can I contact Don?"

Click here for complete contact information.

8. "Isn't there a better way to reach Don? How do I know that Webmaster Dave will even forward my e-mail to him? CAN I HAVE HIS HOME ADDRESS? I want to um... mail him something there. And rape and kill him. Where do I send naked pictures of myself? Don in love with me. He may not know me but we play little game for long time now. MY DWARVES IS MELTING!!/1 gangrene!!"

no! you are all scary!!

Love.

On a totally unrelated note, have you ever read The Turn of the Screw by Henry James?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hee!

No, but I keep meaning to--Portrait of a Lady eventually grew on me after I got over the total non-ending, and I loved the movie versions of Washington Square, Golden Bowl, Wings of the Dove, etc.--I have those piled up around here, too.

[k-puff.livejournal.com]

I got one: "Why do so many of your icons have Galadriel on them?" ^_^

[divabat.livejournal.com]

haha yeah. And also - where did the Heroine Addict thing come from, and can we make our own Heroine Addict icons?

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...questions... ones which I expect people will ask:

"OMG Y R U SO MEEN 2 TEH MOVIES?!1!one?!"

"Can we expect things like your recaps of tv programs in print at some point as well?"

I read somewhere that you ate babies/sacrificed things to the devil/have sex with doorknobs. Is this website claiming to have all the info on you true?

I have found a website with your parody on it, uncredited. What should I do?

Can I send you this shiny/smelly object?

Are you a man?

WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER MY EMAILS/COMMENTS/OBSESSIVE CALLING?

OMG H0RE YOU DIDN'T CREDIT ALL THE REFERENCES YOU MADE IN YOUR PARODY!

I don't understand all the references you made in your parodies, and since the book will not have links, how are you going to make people understand them?

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladened swallow? (God they always ask that. The answer is SO obvious. 42.)

[andromeda-77.livejournal.com]

Questions:

What is Cleolinda's inspirational food?
What is Cleolinda's favorite heroine?

(k, so I had two) Cool idea, by the way. ;)

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

OT - your icon made me start humming Tori.

Rock!

[foresthouse.livejournal.com]

Ok, the ones I can think of would be (b/c I've seen people ask these):

Where do you get the screen caps for your icons;

Can we use your icons;

What font do you use for your icons;

I know there are lots of non-icon related ones, but people have already come up with them :)

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

I'm talking about things like "Where did the name Cleolinda come from?"

I splashed you with my stupid, Cleo, and I'm sorry. Really, seriously, sorry. You have enough on your plate now without having to deal with dumb questions from me.

I like the FAQ idea, but you answered my only question.

(You could always finish Titanic the National Lampoon way??? "Suddenly, everyone was run over by an iceberg. The End.")

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

No! What with lots of new people coming in from Phantom/15M, I've been getting a lot of questions lately. It wasn't your question at all so much as deadspeaker mentioning that she was putting together an FAQ herself. I figured I'd put up an entry calling for questions now, to give y'all something to do while I'm working and not being interesting, and then when I have free time, I can answer them. : )

Ooh! Questions!

[lizzyrose89.livejournal.com]

Who is Vladimir, how do you know him and why is he squishy?
Where do you get your 'horoscope on crack' from?
< fangirl="Lizzy">: Who is/are your favourite music-type people?

[bibliotech.livejournal.com]

DO you have cake? I like cake. You have cake? I want some cake.