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Nov. 27th, 2004 12:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cleolindaAll right--you guys may or may not have noticed this about me yet, but I'm a little obsessive-compulsive (no!) and I tend to go from ig'nant to expert, or at least obsessive, in about sixty seconds. I couldn't sleep last night (you know how it is when you're sick--you can tell you're getting well because suddenly you can't sleep around the clock anymore), so I pulled up The Phantom of the Opera on Project Gutenberg and read the whole thing, which was totally awesome. Of course, I'm big on nineteenth-century lit and I guess just about anything would seem like a page-turner after the dense poetics of Paradise Lost. Anyway. I also spent a good bit of time on the movie's official website, so I have a pretty good idea of how much of the book plot made it into the musical (and thank God Andrew Lloyd Webber ditched the torture chamber, y'all, because I was about to tear my hair out after three chapters of that shit). I'm still trying to figure out why in the world they hired Joel Schumacher to direct it, but I'm pretty much figuring at this point that the movie's going to be either fabulous or godawful, and either one will be awesome. Well, awesome from the perspective of a newcomer who isn't emotionally attached to the property, but then, I'm sure there will be riots in the streets no matter how the movie turns out (see also: Harry Potter fans who hate the movies).
There's one problem I can spot offhand, however, and that is letting a hot guy play the Phantom. I noticed in the last entry, the one with the photo captions, how the Phantom fans among y'all were disconcerted by this, and I didn't really understand why until I read the book. In the book, the Phantom's hideous. I don't quite know how this works out, but he's, like, "made of death." Like, a walking living corpse or something. Smells like death, bony hands, grody face, etc. And every time Raoul gets jealous, Christine's like, Dude, you saw the guy, are you kidding me? By the end of the book, the best she can muster is abject pity for Erik, even though she's managed to pretend that she "loves him for himself" so as to regain her freedom. But faced with the prospect of marrying him so he doesn't blow Raoul, the Paris Opera, and several hundred people sky high, she tries to kill herself, while tied up, by bashing her head against the wall over and over.
Now, without having seen the musical, I can tell you just the same that I'm pretty sure the book Phantom has fuck-all to do with the show Phantom, because millions of fans wouldn't be in love with him if he were all, you know, necrotic and stuff. Book Phantom does not have the cute little half mask; Book Phantom doesn't look spiff in formal wear. If we're talking about Musical Phantom, we've basically got a guy with an underground palace and a gorgeous voice who's willing to worship this girl and make her the greatest singer in the world. Raoul? Is cute. Okay, okay--he's also nobility, but (in the book, at least) he and his brother make all these snippy comments about "giving an opera wench his name," which is so not on. So the nobility thing is both a pro and a con and therefore sort of cancels itself out. And yeah, childhood attachment, okay, that's nice. But he also acts pretty childishly throughout the book (the book is great with this, by the way, and notes at one point that he says something so asinine to Christine that he can't think of any way out of it other than "to keep being odious"), so he's not sophisticated or worldly or mature--another point for the Phantom. So, in conclusion, Raoul: cute, and won't tie you up (woe). Do you see the problem we now have if the Phantom is also hot? Raoul is basically outclassed on every level except for the whole "actually lets you walk around freely above ground now and then" thing, and I'm willing to bet you pretty much don't care about that if you're in the thrall of this guy. I mean, the musical already undermines Raoul by letting Erik be just a little disfigured instead of the walking maw of fetid death, and if you cast a hot guy, you've just thrown the entire dynamic out of whack.
I mean, not that I won't be there with bells on, but still.
And then I went and downloaded some Whitesnake (shut up, man--Kingdom of Loathing got me all nostalgic), so now I totally associate the Phantom of the Opera book with "Is This Love." (And it fits, y'all. Shut up.) Man, I totally miss Baz Luhrmann. He needs to come back and make some more movies. He would rock a Phantom of the Opera movie (from the book, not the musical) with nothing but '80s music. Man--you know, the more I think about it, the more awesome I am convinced that would have been. Come back, Baz!
There's one problem I can spot offhand, however, and that is letting a hot guy play the Phantom. I noticed in the last entry, the one with the photo captions, how the Phantom fans among y'all were disconcerted by this, and I didn't really understand why until I read the book. In the book, the Phantom's hideous. I don't quite know how this works out, but he's, like, "made of death." Like, a walking living corpse or something. Smells like death, bony hands, grody face, etc. And every time Raoul gets jealous, Christine's like, Dude, you saw the guy, are you kidding me? By the end of the book, the best she can muster is abject pity for Erik, even though she's managed to pretend that she "loves him for himself" so as to regain her freedom. But faced with the prospect of marrying him so he doesn't blow Raoul, the Paris Opera, and several hundred people sky high, she tries to kill herself, while tied up, by bashing her head against the wall over and over.
Now, without having seen the musical, I can tell you just the same that I'm pretty sure the book Phantom has fuck-all to do with the show Phantom, because millions of fans wouldn't be in love with him if he were all, you know, necrotic and stuff. Book Phantom does not have the cute little half mask; Book Phantom doesn't look spiff in formal wear. If we're talking about Musical Phantom, we've basically got a guy with an underground palace and a gorgeous voice who's willing to worship this girl and make her the greatest singer in the world. Raoul? Is cute. Okay, okay--he's also nobility, but (in the book, at least) he and his brother make all these snippy comments about "giving an opera wench his name," which is so not on. So the nobility thing is both a pro and a con and therefore sort of cancels itself out. And yeah, childhood attachment, okay, that's nice. But he also acts pretty childishly throughout the book (the book is great with this, by the way, and notes at one point that he says something so asinine to Christine that he can't think of any way out of it other than "to keep being odious"), so he's not sophisticated or worldly or mature--another point for the Phantom. So, in conclusion, Raoul: cute, and won't tie you up (woe). Do you see the problem we now have if the Phantom is also hot? Raoul is basically outclassed on every level except for the whole "actually lets you walk around freely above ground now and then" thing, and I'm willing to bet you pretty much don't care about that if you're in the thrall of this guy. I mean, the musical already undermines Raoul by letting Erik be just a little disfigured instead of the walking maw of fetid death, and if you cast a hot guy, you've just thrown the entire dynamic out of whack.
I mean, not that I won't be there with bells on, but still.
And then I went and downloaded some Whitesnake (shut up, man--Kingdom of Loathing got me all nostalgic), so now I totally associate the Phantom of the Opera book with "Is This Love." (And it fits, y'all. Shut up.) Man, I totally miss Baz Luhrmann. He needs to come back and make some more movies. He would rock a Phantom of the Opera movie (from the book, not the musical) with nothing but '80s music. Man--you know, the more I think about it, the more awesome I am convinced that would have been. Come back, Baz!
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no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 11:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 11:19 am (UTC)Anywho-I love your icon... <3 Natalie Portman, SO teh hotness. One of two women I would make out with if the opportunity arose.
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Date: 2004-11-27 11:21 am (UTC)In the rest of the musical, she seems to be able to make the distinction between the Angel and her father. It's just that one bit where it gets fuzzy.
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Date: 2004-11-27 11:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 11:23 am (UTC)And yes, hot Phantom not so scary. Though I LOOOOOVED the musical when I saw it--due to gorgeous sets, costumes, music, etc.--I just could not get over simpering sissy Christine. I wanted to shake her til her perfectly straight, white teeth tumbled out her mouth, all the while screaming at her: "So he lives underground and is kinda obsessive! You can work on that! Leave wimpo Raoul behind. Phantom is so way hotter AND sings better. Just tell him to leave the mask on while you're smooching."
no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 11:24 am (UTC)Spidey sense tingling...I detect...teenage...girl..movie!
As for Project Gutenberg, it's one of the best things on the planet. Downloaded Dumas 'The Black Tulip'. Yay! Spifferino!
Yarha, Gutenberg In, Movies Out
PS: I go forth to view Alexander. If I post no more, it's 'cause I've slit my throat with a popcorn box because it was so bad. *Ties white scarf around neck, flips it over shoulder and puts on leather helmet, going forth ala WWI flying ace* "Tell mother I died game!"
no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 11:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 11:48 am (UTC)I just recently friended this journal (but I've had m15m friended for a while now, I LOVE IT) and I didn't know where I should post this. I assume you've seen the Harry Potter "Potter Puppet Pals" at www.potterpuppetpals.com, and if you haven't, you should go watch their vids. Amazing, I'm telling you. But here's a little icon I made from watching that:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v40/xXvulcan/heroineaddictpppherm.jpg
Enjoy!
Miles
no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 11:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 11:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 12:06 pm (UTC)And the music. Sweeping, romantic, ALW at his peak. And romantic. And yes, ALW's phantom is and always has been hawt. :p Christine was originally played by ALW's wifey Sarah Brightman. Then they divorced. Don't know if there is a parallel or not. :p
I'm looking forward to it. Evita was pretty good on screen as well. Superstar was not. :p
no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 12:43 pm (UTC)I have a condensed version on book, and I cannot stand to look at the cover, it's illustrated the way the Phantom was always described.
Yea...what's up with that?
now I have an itching to listen to the soundtrack.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 12:58 pm (UTC)THINK about it. Not only is he going to keep her down there, but he's got all those violent tendencies, etc. etc. Honestly, as much as I love Erik/Phantom, and I cry every time I see the last scene where he lets her go, I can't fault her for picking Raoul. Hey, he might be a pansy who dresses funny, but at least he loves her and he's got money and he's not killing people.
And the thing about Erik/Phantom is that, at least in the musical, it's not that he's in love with Christine - he's in love with her voice and what he could do with it (sounds dirty out of context, heehee). So I have the issues with the Hot Phantom, but it's still believabe she'd choose the one who's still sane.
At least to me.
(And I still don't know why they picked a Scottish actor who can't sing and who's almost panifully hot and adorably cheerful IRL to play the twisted, tortured anti-hero. Go figure.)
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Date: 2004-11-27 01:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 03:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 03:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 03:43 pm (UTC)Shawn Ashmore is in Legend of Earthsea (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0407384)
no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 04:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 04:24 pm (UTC)if not... what is it from?
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Date: 2004-11-27 04:51 pm (UTC)Just in case you were wondering!
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Date: 2004-11-27 05:06 pm (UTC)Baz Luhrmann directing the Phantom film? That would be orgasmic.
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Date: 2004-11-27 05:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 05:33 pm (UTC)I havent read 'Maskerade' in ages: must get again!
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Date: 2004-11-27 05:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-27 05:40 pm (UTC)I've read the book a dozen times over the years, and seen the A&E mini-series about the same number of times. Creamy goodness, it is.
And my icon was made for me by the fabulous