Things I did today

[cleolinda]

So. I'm completely ignoring the election coverage, because I figure I can feel like shit about it now or I can wait to feel like shit about it tomorrow, and as I already have a lot on the "feeling like shit" plate, I'm going with "tomorrow."

The doctor's appointment itself was... not of the fun. I hadn't seen this particular doctor in five years, and the last time I'd been, they were in some crazy high-rise building and my exam room had GIANT WINDOWS with open Venetian blinds. This seems like a counterintuitive location for an OB-GYN office at best. And even when you take into account that we were on, like, the 30th floor and there was a special one-way coating or somesuch shit on the glass... it doesn't really help the general anxiety you feel about taking off your clothes in front of strangers, does it?

So this time Dr. B--a woman, I might add--was located in a rabbit warren of rooms deep in the hospital, and I got there, and of course they didn't have my files anymore. I mean, five years had passed; I don't blame them. My mother went with me, so I'm sitting next to her filling out sixteen forms, and then I get to one that needs to be signed by a witness. My mother looks over and grins like she's all cool and says, "Can I get a witness!" So I said, "Can I get a what-what? Holla." As one does. And she just about died right there. So now she's been going around saying "Can I get a whoop-whoop [sic]!" all afternoon like she's got Tourette's or something. Bless.

So finally I get called back there. The nurse tells me, "Go in there and do a urine sample, then go to the lab to get a finger-stick, then go to room 6." I won't even go through the travails of getting a urine sample, except to say that you should really make the restroom stalls larger than two feet wide for this purpose, and that in the middle of this I hear "Cleolinda Jones, please report to room 6." (Of course, replace "Cleolinda Jones" with my real name, which you don't know. I don't really want some nurse to pick up a copy of Movies in Fifteen Minutes and be like, "I analyzed her pee!")  So I'm all panicking because I HAVE NOT HAD THE FINGER-STICK YET OH NOES, and I walk past the little gyn lab and there's no one there to stick my finger! And I don't know what to do! So I go hide in room 6. And then the nurse comes by and I'm all like, "Uh... I haven't had the finger-stick," so she sends me back to the lab, and I sit there for like fifteen minutes until someone says, "Uh, can I help you?," and I say, "No, I was just relaxing in the premium comfort of your world-class plastic chairs. YES, I NEED A FINGER-STICK PLZKTHNX." So we go through the whole "Anyone from lab, please report to lab" call and finally this woman comes in and she asks my (real) name and she's like, "Wow, I've had nothing but (real names) and (almost the same names) come in all day," except that on "in" she staples my finger, and I was so unprepared that I actually gave a savage yawp, and the name of that yawp was "OW!"

Back to room 6. I hope you guys out there, and by guys I literally mean "males," are reading this, because OB-GYN visits are the biggest runarounds on the planet. Respect, y'all. So I wait in room 6 for about twenty minutes, and finally Dr. B. comes in, and we talk about why I'm there, blah blah blee, and then she's like, "All right, we're going to make this as quick as possible. Take off all your clothes and put on those two paper sheets." Now, how I'm going to "put" them "on" when they don't have "fasteners" of any "kind" I don't know, but okay. So I'm thinking, she's waiting outside, this'll take 30 seconds. Remember: I'm a student. It wasn't too long ago that I was waking up ten minutes before class, and class was a five-minute walk away. Firemen dress slower than I do. So I'm "wearing" my paper sheets and another fifteen minutes pass and finally she comes back with the nurse. (In case you guys are wondering: they leave while you change because it could get creepy to have them just sit there and watch you. Which is also why two people have to be in the room with you once your clothes are off--to keep it from getting creepy. Because I have a female doctor, it took me a while to figure this out--I guess it makes more sense if you've got a male doctor. Not that the guy would do anything to you, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle notwithstanding, but it's to prevent you from having to worry about it.)

So we go through all that and it is not of the fun and then they leave again and the clothes go back on and I wait fifteen more minutes. I swear to God, these people need a damn efficiency expert. And if you think I'm exaggerating with the fifteen minutes here and twenty minutes there, my visit took an hour and a half. See? So. We talk about scheduling more lab work and scary things and you've read that entry. Blah.

And then we go vote at the library. I still feel kind of icky from the doctor visit but okay. It was pleasantly crowded, not really any lines, and the two guys in the O-Z line looked at my ID and gave me a ballot and no trouble at all. We have scantron-type sheets that you bubble in with a pen, and even though I hadn't heard about scantron sheets giving anyone any trouble, I remembered those stories about people trying to vote straight Democrat on the machines and their vote still coming up Bush/Cheney, so I filled all the bubbles out by hand. Just to be sure. Even though I knew Bush would win Alabama. Because voting is important. As are full, non-fragmented sentences.

And then I bit my lip three times while eating dinner.

Talked on phone to Squishy for half an hour, with Sister Girl hanging over my shoulder trying to tell me about her cooking class the whole time ("This is LONG DISTANCE, do you MIND?").

We had Mexican for dinner--taco sauce always makes me feel better, for some reason--and then I went to bed. (Marcus, I am still dying to get hold of the house salsa and the green tomatillo sauce from that burrito place we went to when Em and I were in New Orleans.)

I thought I might sleep through Veronica Mars, but then I woke up at 8:03 and couldn't not watch it. That's how good it is, people.

I'm still wading through all the comments to the YOU MUST VOTE entry (behave, y'all!) and the "My ovaries are wonky and demoralized" entry. It means a lot to me that y'all left all those comments for me on the latter entry--more than I really know how to say. (And I knew that PCOS was common--something like one out of every twenty women--but I didn't know half my friends list would have it.) So, in conclusion, y'all are awesome, and it was really great to have all those comments waiting for me when I woke up, and I don't really even know how to tell you how much.

Comments

[silent-sybil.livejournal.com]

Which is also why two people have to be in the room with you once your clothes are off--to keep it from getting creepy.

Really? I've never had but the one, though I go to a female specialist. She's a nurse-midwife, I think, rather than a doctor, but still. Very weird.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Maybe I should say "are usually" instead of "have to be." Still, I noticed that the nurse always came in for the exam segment of the visit.

[desincarne.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's because that's the good part.

I mean. Ah. Not, you know, because. I was making a. Not so much with the funny, per se, but.

Oh, the hell with it.

*screamsjumpsheadfirstthroughwindow*

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

Just rest and recupe. Save your strength for the important stuff -- you know, the stuff you're getting published and/or graded on. Your adoring legions will forgive the rest.

And obey the squishy! When he tells you to rest and take care of yourself, he speaks wisely. Look out for numbah-one. Holla. Indeed.

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

And meds. Get lots of meds. Practice writhing. Ask for acting help. Spend time before appointments getting into character. Believe the pain!

[loesaurus.livejournal.com]

I've always only had a femaly gyno - so I dunno about the protocol. I do know that even 30 stories high is still no place to feel comfortable showing God all your naughty bits and feel at all relaxed about it. I'm glad that whole nervewracking experience is over for you, though. I know all about girly-exam test-awaiting whats-wrong-with-my-body-stress. SOOOOO friggin not of the fun.

[ambiguousreason.livejournal.com]

I wish my family would ignore the election coverage as well, but they won't. They're all huddled around the TV right now as if the world is ending (actually, I think it is -- fuck) and I'm in here trying to ignore it, failing miserably, biting my fingernails and going "OH NOES" every three point five seconds.

Also I'm really hungry, but I'm putting off eating (OMG WTF?!) because I don't want to go in the kitchen and hear about the election, as I'm pretty sure it'll make me feel sick. And then I wouldn't want to eat anymore. And that wouldn't be good.

DAMN IT I FORGOT ABOUT VERONICA MARS. Not that it would have mattered (see all of above comments about how family has taken over our only television set with cable).

Hm, well, yes, this was pointless.

[iczer6.livejournal.com]

I empathize with the doctor shit.

Guy who takes care of my diabetes, it can take up two or three *hours* to actually get in an exam room with him though the actual visit take about 20 minutes.

And did I mention their magazine choices suck?

Okay going into TMI area, I do wish you luck with your health issues, I have diabetes myself and it's not the end of the world if that helps any.


Icz

[robinskij.livejournal.com]

one more hug and sending of concern about your ovaries.

I know it's asking a lot cause you are feeling so shitty, but I am too, I'm so depressed about the next four years...can you say something to cheer us up???

[elbales]

Ooh. Ooh. I am so waiting for Cleo to come back with a snappy "I'm not gonna be your monkey."

Yeah.

< /cheapshot>

(Just a joke! I swear! robinskij don't kill me PLZKTHNX.)

[robinskij.livejournal.com]

he he. Okay, since you asked so nice.

[elanorkat.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to say that I'm sorry about all the health-stuff and I hope you don't have to wait too long for results! You give us all so much pleasure, I hate to think that you're going through such shit at the moment.

*crosses fingers*

[maramala.livejournal.com]

There's always Lost tomorrow, so things should get better then.

[velessa.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I can certainly sympathize. I haven't commented before, but I've been enjoying reading your journal for some time and I wanted to commiserate. I have ovarian cysts and an OB-GYN appointment tomorrow I am most emphatically NOT looking forward to O.o

Out of curiosity, how long did it take for doctors to diagnose the problem? I'm wondering if other women have had to suffer like I did...I had severe abdominal pains on and off from about the time I was 14, and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me until a cyst burst and sent me to the emergency room when I was 21! So much for our advanced medical science. But since they finally found the problem I've been on birth control pills and haven't had any more episodes. I hope everything works out well for you!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Well, given all the tests I have to go through, I'd say we're still in the diagnosis phase. When I saw the doctor five years ago, she was like, "I think you have PCOS, but it's no big deal. And I wasn't in any pain, just had a hugely irregular cycle, and I didn't get off my ass to go see her again for five years, so I guess she was right about that. But finally my cycle was so damn irregular and I was so tired that I came back. And I reminded her of the original diagnosis and she checked a few things and said, "Well, you certainly have all the hallmarks of it." And so the tests are to rule out other things before she puts me back on the pill. Assuming it's a correct diagnosis, it was very easy to get, but then Birmingham is stuffed with hospitals and we have lots of great doctors.

[edda.livejournal.com]

Yes, Hootie Exams are always of the fun and festive. Well, they would be, if they'd think to serve nachos and margaritas in the lobby.

Oh GOD I want Mexican so badly right now.

Sister Girl sounds hilarious in that kind of way that makes me very glad I don't live under the same roof with her.

And you already voted, so you did your duty. It looks like we're in for a long one, tally-wise.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I suggested that they hand out free booze in the waiting room, but I don't think they realized I was being serious.

(KERRY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! DON'T CONCEDE, FOOL!)

[elbales]

p.s. You're welcome. Lots.

[ferelwing.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Yeah I second the scary ob-gyn visits. Annoying as hell and long as hell!

[la-sonnambula.livejournal.com]

You have the funnest mom.

[trixasaurus.livejournal.com]

can't believe i read all of that.
OB-GYN's suck, dude. i spent once a month, once every two weeks, once a week, twice a week there while i was pregnant. ohemgee. yuck.
i have to go tomorrow.
i feel for you. <3

[samiamagirl.livejournal.com]

I've never been to a OB-GYN yet, but I think I should... I mean I am 8 months pregnant! J/k. It's good your a person that finds a lot of joy in life because laughter is truly the best medicine, no joke.

And don't even joke about embarassing peeing in cup stories, because one of the awkward moments ever happened to me... if you want to laugh, read about it here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/samiamagirl/27236.html#cutid1).

And on another thought, don't worry, a lot of thyroid tests come back sketchy (I've had many) and they're usually just precautionary. Hoping for the best for you though!

[eruvadhril.livejournal.com]

Yeah, leaving you waiting for that long really doesn't help with the anxiety, you get visions of them doing rock-paper-scissors to see who gets to break the news to you, or something. Geez, hugs and kisses and stuff, about your ovaries. *sends virtual flowers and chocolate and LotR men*

[elanorkat.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Familiar-looking icon...

[alysscarlet.livejournal.com]

Hi there lessien_c

The icon you are using was one I made exclusively for the use of elanorkat over a year ago. Although of course you can use the original photo to make your own icon, I would ask that you stop using the one I made for her, with that particular text, colours and graphic style.

Thank you.

[elanorkat.livejournal.com]

:-)

[misshallelujah.livejournal.com]

It's gonna be okay. *sends positive vibes*

[http://users.livejournal.com/belladonna_/]

In light of the last paragraph of this entry, I feel as though I'm a day late and a dollar short, but I'm sorry about your health issues too. It's horrid to feel like your girl parts are rebelling.

And visits to the gyno SUCK. They run you around to 198398 different locations. They make you wait in up to four, count 'em, four different waiting rooms. They poke you with needles and ask for your pee. And they make it to third base without even buying you dinner. It's terrible. And I get to go this afternoon! Hurrah.

Anyway, good luck, please keep us posted on how this all works out.

[yarha.livejournal.com]

Oh, eh, well, us guy dudes of a certain age have to have the 'rubber-glove-feelie' from time to time. It doesn't really compare with OB-GYN, but does show suckage gets spread around.

In re the 'rubber glove': I had one urinologist say "I'm back here on a rolling stool. If you hear me roll around it's because I getting a running start." Haha! Jolly jokers, these medicos. Buggers.

Glad you're feeling..um..better? Yes?

Yarha, It's Only a Paper Moon Ballot

[saint-kat.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you had an interesting doctor's appointment, although I will relate with the urine sample debacle (mine's was done as a mandatory procedure for a job that I was going to get).

Except for the fact that it took me a couple cups of water until I produced enough for a sample. I'll just leave it at that for now.

(On a sympathetic note, I hope you will get better soon. Kind of sucks to have a serious malady happen to you.)

It's interesting that they did ballots by hand. When I went out to the mall to vote (early, I may add), they only used touch-screen computer machines to cast the ballots. Simple as that.

Of course, Bush won Nevada, mostly due to the overwhelming support in the farm counties near Northern and Central Nevada.

[brenah.livejournal.com]

*Hands Cleo a chocolate-covered Sayid*

Hope you are feeling better today, and hey it's Wed! (or Lost-Day as it's coming to be known).